It felt like someone was inside my lower abdomen, twisting my insides into little knots and wringing them out so they were nothing but a bundle of matter. Instead of fighting against the pain, I went with it. I let it carry me. I just breathed and stared up at the ceiling, waiting for the worst of it to subside.
When it did, my body felt like Jell-O. How long was it going to hurt like this? My God, I was exhausted already. I craved the energy Tarek supplied. I always thought he would be at my side when I had this baby. I thought I would be in a hospital, with my doctor and my parents.
I also kind of hoped there would be some pain meds involved.
Instead, I was lying on the floor of an alien hovercraft. I was cut, bleeding, and scared. I was completely alone, and this baby was coming.
Not the best of circumstances.
Another contraction assaulted me, and I marveled at how much faster they were coming now. I groaned a little as the pain tightened my body. Just then, a few figures appeared. They were dressed in silver robes like the one Tarek had worn when I first saw him. The oversized hoods were pulled low, concealing their faces, and the silver fabric draped all the way to the floor, concealing their feet.
Behind them was Teagan, still dressed in her “human” clothes and watching me with that expressionless look on her face.
I hated her. Like, really hated her.
So much for showing her what it was like to be human. For hoping she might help us.
The people in robes approached me, and I cringed away, not wanting them close to me. They ignored my obvious reaction and reached down to lift me up. I was carried across the craft to a very sterile table and placed in the center. The metal was cold and unforgiving, just like everyone in this room.
“Please,” I said, gritting my teeth through the pain. “Don’t do this.”
They ignored me, like hearing the pleas of a betrayed woman in pain was nothing at all. One of them attached a monitor to my arm, the other took my temperature, and through it all, I stared at Teagan, hoping my expression chilled her to her core.
“Her temperature is very high, her heart rate erratic.” Someone beside me was reporting as he read off various monitors and tools. “Her energy levels are fading. Not sure if she will make it through a natural birth.”
My clothes were ripped away, leaving me vulnerable on the table, with my bare belly exposed. I started to cry, not because I was sad, but because I was so incredibly angry.
How could I feel so helpless?
A hand reached out and grabbed my arm. A needle came close to piercing my skin. I shrieked and lashed out, sending the man and his needle onto the floor. Someone else rushed at my side, and I threw out a fist, connecting with his chest. Pain vibrated through my hand, but I didn’t care. I wanted these things away from me.
“Stay back!” I shouted. “Don’t come near me.” More contractions ripped through me, and I curled in on myself, more tears leaking from my eyes. I looked up to see that Teagan had come closer, and there was actually emotion in her eyes.
Guilt.
Sorrow.
Regret.
I latched onto that. “I know you don’t care about me, and that’s fine,” I told her, taking gasping breaths. “But I know you want this baby. Maybe you even care about him.”
Her eyes flared, and I knew it was true. Her vulnerable spot was this baby, her ability to become a “mother” when he was born.
“I need Tarek, please,” I pleaded. “Please get him.”
The hooded figures closed in on me, and I couldn’t see if my words had any effect on her at all. They grabbed my hands and strapped me down. Even though I struggled, I was no match for them. I was too incredibly exhausted.
Another one came near me again with another needle, and I started screaming. “No drugs!” I yelled. I had no idea what they were trying to pump into me, and I didn’t care. I didn’t want anything from them. I’d rather feel the pain of a natural birth than let them take away my consciousness.
“Calm down,” the one with the needle said.
I nodded quickly. “I won’t fight if you put the needle away.”
The needle disappeared, but before I could celebrate the small victory, my ankles were grabbed and my legs were spread wide.
Horror shook my entire body. God, I was not an experiment. I was a person. I was a mother. How could they do this to me?
One of the robed Sapiens shoved two fingers into my vagina and probed around. I tried to snap my legs shut but wasn’t allowed. I sobbed, feeling so incredibly violated and grossed out.
“She’s not fully dilated,” he announced when he was done betraying my body.
“We’ll just cut the child out,” someone else said.
“No!” I shouted. “No!”
Another syringe appeared and so did a tray of very sharp instruments. I was going to throw up.
The needle approached me, and I started to struggle against all the binds that held me down. My back and midsection hurt so fiercely that I was almost numb with pain.
Just as the needle met my skin, the person holding it flew back and hit the wall. He slumped into a heap on the floor. The other Sapien standing nearby was also tossed away.
Commotion and shouting erupted as I lay there helpless and strapped to a table.
A familiar rush of energy charged the air and flitted across my skin. “Tarek!” I yelled desperately.
He appeared, rushing to my side with wild eyes. His face was unlike I’d ever seen it before. Drawn and flushed, his lips were thin and slashed across his face. His eyes are as dark as onyx, and the stars I usually saw in his stare were gone.
He was absolutely infuriated.
The binds that held my wrists and ankles were ripped away, and I sprang up, moaning at the pain it caused but moving anyway. Tarek wrapped his arms around me as I collapsed against him with great heavy sobs.
My body shook violently with the force of my sobs. His arms wrapped around me. I could feel the way his muscles quivered, yet he was steadfast.
His large palm cupped the back of my head, and he held me against him as I sucked in great gulps of air, trying to calm myself.
“I got home and you weren’t there,” he whispered. “I saw the broken glass, the water, and the blood all over the floor.”
I heard him swallow roughly as his saliva forced its way down his throat.
“I thought you were dead.”
The words were barely audible. The rawness in his voice was unlike anything I’d ever heard before. “I had nothing before I met you, Sophie. I didn’t even know what it was like to exist. You gave me everything. I have nothing without you.”
More pain racked my body. I clutched at him, digging my fingers into his skin. “The baby,” I said, “he’s coming. They’re trying to take him.”
As if to prove my point, the Sapiens hidden by robes came closer, invading our space in a menacing way.
“Get back,” Tarek growled. “I will kill every last one of you.”
“I’m so tired,” I said, leaning farther into him. Now that I knew he was here and that he would watch over me, my body was losing its fight with itself.
“Take all the energy you need from me, love,” he said, holding me tightly. Above my head, he spoke. “Get me blankets.” His voice left no room for argument.
Seconds later, he was lifting me in his arms as Teagan spread a soft blanket over the cold table. He laid me down gently, keeping his hands on me, and nodded to Teagan. Another blanket covered up the rest of me, giving me a modicum of coverage.
This incredible pressure built low in my abdomen, and the urge to push filled my limbs. “I think he’s coming,” I ground out, gripping Tarek.
He pulled his hands away from me, and I made a sound of protest. “I’m just going to look,” he said, lifting the blanket. A person moved up behind him and stared down as well. His hand reached out to examine me again, and I winced. Tarek shoved him away roughly. “Do. Not. Touch. Her.”
“She needs to push,” the man replied, keeping his distance.
I looked at Tarek through watery eyes. “It’s too soon.”
“He’s coming, love. We can’t stop him.”
I shook my head as Tarek placed his warm hands on my inner thighs. “It’s just me and you right now,” he murmured, locking onto my eyes with his purple gaze. It was less wild now, more concentrated, and totally focused on me. “I need you to push,” he said.
“I don’t want to,” I said, looking around at all the kidnappers in the room.
“Look at me,” he said, drawing my gaze once more. “It’s just me and you. I’m delivering him, no one else. I will protect him.”
The urge to push was so great I couldn’t deny it. I bore down and began the process of delivering my son.
I don’t know how long it took; it felt like I pushed forever. The pain was hot and intense, but I couldn’t focus on it because I was too busy focusing on pushing.
And then a tiny cry filled the room.
All the burning pain in my body evaporated as I shoved myself up to look for the person I most wanted to see.
Tarek was standing at the end of the table, holding the baby and staring down at him in complete and utter wonder.
The baby made another wailing sound, and Tarek blinked, a large grin spreading across his face. “My son,” he murmured, tucking the little boy against his chest and pressing his lips to his forehead.
Teagan moved closer, and I barely paid her any attention because I was so riveted on seeing my son in the arms of the man I loved. It was the most incredible thing I had ever seen.
I thought I knew love before. I thought I knew what it was like for someone to be your entire universe.
That was nothing compared to what I felt now.
Teagan cut the umbilical cord and stepped away. Tarek finally raised his eyes from our son to stare at me. “You gave me a son,” he whispered.
I smiled. “Let me see him.” I held out my arms for my son, and Tarek moved to hand him to me.
As he extended the baby toward me, I caught a flash of movement behind Tarek as a robed Sapien swung a needle down toward the back of his neck.
“Tarek!”
He looked over his shoulder but wasn’t able to strike out because he was still holding our son. I reached out and took the baby, crooning to him as Tarek spun, trying to deflect the needle.
He managed to keep it from going into his neck.
But it speared his arm instead.
The man in the robe went flying back as the syringe stuck out of Tarek’s arm. He turned and looked between me and the needle. The baby began to cry as Tarek yanked it out and threw it across the room.
Just as I was about to breathe a sigh of relief, Tarek’s eyes rolled back in his head and he slumped to the ground.
the end
I
called out his name until my voice felt like it was going to go hoarse. He was lying in a crumpled heap on the floor, his skin more translucent than white and the tops of his eyelids a purple-ish shade that frankly made my stomach hurt.
His full, usually kissable lips were colorless, and he didn’t move once.
I didn’t know what the hell was in that syringe, but I was terribly afraid it was deadly.
Tears rained from my eyes continuously, and when I finally looked up from Tarek, it was to see Teagan staring down at him with a bleak expression in her eyes.
“You,” I whispered hoarsely. Teagan looked up. “This is your fault.”
In my arms, my son started to fuss and wiggle about. I gave her one last hateful stare before turning my eyes down to stare at the tiny bundle wrapped in my arms.
Time stopped for me.
Everything else fell away.
He was absolutely perfect.
“Shh,” I whispered to him, rocking him gently in my arms. I reached out to feather my fingers through the full head of incredibly soft, dark hair. “Hi there.” I spoke softly, running a fingertip over his little round cheek. The baby’s cries softened and his eyes fluttered open and looked up at me, focusing completely on me.
His eyes were purple.
A crystal-clear shade of amethyst that was so incredibly innocent it made me want to weep. He looked just like Tarek, except his skin wasn’t quite as pale.
His little arm reached out and five long, perfect fingers waved in the air, and I laughed.
“Tarek,” I said, “he looks just like you.”
I didn’t get a reply.
Reality came crashing back, and the momentary joy of meeting my newborn son was sorely interrupted. “Tarek,” I called again, clutching the baby against me and leaning forward. He hadn’t moved.
A Sapien moved forward, and I stiffened, but he wasn’t coming at me. He leaned down over Tarek. He seemed to be taking his vitals, feeling for a pulse.
A few seconds of nothing at all, and the robed figure stood and bowed his head.
A low moan filled the room. It was a sound I would never forget. It was the sound of deep sorrow and keen horror.
I realized the sound was coming from me.
Once everyone in the room realized Tarek was no longer a threat, things began to happen with great speed.
That moment I had with my son, that single joyful moment when everything was right in my world?
It was all I was going to get.
Three hooded figured approached me. I could feel their silent stares from within the dark confines of the hoods. A sick feeling twisted its way into my guts and worked its way up to settle as a hard rock in the center of my chest.
My heart began to pound rapidly; my breaths came in short gasps.
“Give him to me,” one of the Sapiens said.
I would have laughed, but there was nothing remotely funny about this. “No.”
“You’re mistaken to think you have a choice.”
“You cannot take my son from me,” I said as he reached out his long, ominous fingers and tried to lift the baby from my arms.
I tightened my grip, and I saw the flash of purple lightning beneath the hood. “Give me the child before he gets hurt.”
I debated for long moments, both of us griping his little body, and in the end, I supposed it was a weakness to love him.
Because I was the one who loosened my grip.
I couldn’t take the chance that he would harm my son. I knew he would because I’d just watched him do it to Tarek.
He snatched the baby away from me, and I launched up off the table, ignoring the protests of my seemingly battered body, and grabbed the back of the robe, yanking the Sapien back. The baby started fussing again, and I was thrown back into the wall with their stupid telekinetic power.
I really hated that power.
I bounced off the curved hovercraft wall and wobbled on my feet, flat out refusing to fall. I started to run at the man holding my son when he said, “Take care of her.”
“No!” I screamed, pushing past the robed figure who was trying to snatch me away.
Teagan appeared with her usual cold, sinister look on her face. Both her hands shot out and grabbed me. Then everything went dark.
The next thing I knew I was standing beside my Jeep as dusk claimed the day. I’d been gone for hours. Hours that forever changed my life.
I shoved away from Teagan and looked up at the sky, desperate for a glimpse of the hovercraft.
“It isn’t here,” she said.
I reared my fist back and smashed it into her face. Her pretty head snapped back on her shoulders, and she looked at me with pure shock in her eyes.
I reared back to hit her again.
She threw up her hand, and my fist smashed against solid air. I opened my mouth to rage, but she stopped me.
“I just saved your life,” she said.
I laughed. “You think you did me a favor?” My voice was incredulous. “You’ve condemned me to an endless string of nothing!” I raged. “You let them steal my son away, my perfect baby—” My voice caught, b
ut I pressed on. “You watched as they killed the only man I have ever loved.”
I slumped against the side of the Jeep, completely defeated. “I would be better off dead.”
I felt her stare for long minutes, but I didn’t look at her again. She’d won. She’d managed to take everything from me, and I had no hope of getting it back.
She left without another word. Disappeared into the fading light of day.
I leaned against the Jeep for a long time, knowing full well I was totally naked, except for what was left of my dress tied around my arm. I knew someone could happen upon me and think I was likely insane.
Maybe it would be better that way.
Maybe they would lock me up in a tiny room where I would sit forever.
As darkness shrouded the sky, blackening out everything around me, goose bumps rose upon my flesh. My body began to shake uncontrollably, but I couldn’t bear to go inside.
If I went inside, I would see him everywhere I looked.
I would remember the times he took me up against the wall because he was too impatient to go to bed. I would remember all the times we “watched” a movie on the couch when really all we did was make out like lovesick teenagers.
I would go in the kitchen and see the bananas he made sure were always waiting for me…
I couldn’t go in there, not ever again.
My hand fumbled with the handle of the Jeep, and the door popped open. I reached into the back and grabbed a blanket that we sometimes used when we drove up to the lake. I wrapped it around my shoulders and wandered away from my car and into the field beside my apartment.
There were no stars tonight. The dark was sinister, complete, all-encompassing. My body was so tired and hurt in so many places, but it was nothing compared to the gaping hole that now took up my chest.
I sank down to the ground, sitting in the center of the grass, letting the inky night envelope me. I would just sit here in the night and hope it would swallow me whole.
I didn’t know how much time passed, likely hours, but it didn’t matter.
I was staring out into nothing, remembering the first and only time I’d seen my baby boy. The little sounds of his fussing still echoed through my head, and I held on to the sound, wanting to never forget it.
Distant Desires: Part 3 Page 8
