Caroline’s heart pounded like horse hooves galloping across packed dirt. She hadn’t meant for any of this. She wanted to explain, but what good would it do. Memories taunted her, thoughts of what happened to bad wives who displeased their husbands.
David’s eyes narrowed, and her looked at her more closely. “Well? Caroline, talk to me. Tell me what you’re thinking.”
Her breath came in hard, fast bursts. She opened her mouth to speak, but no sound came out. What was there to say? She had no justification. With eyes squeezed tightly shut, she bowed her head and waited for her punishment.
“Caroline.” David’s tone left no room for misunderstanding. He was upset. But then she felt his hand on her cheek. The touch was gentle, like a caress. His fingers curled beneath her chin and lifted her head. “Open your eyes and look at me.”
She obeyed. Yes, David was upset, but he was also concerned. Maybe she should tell him. He was her husband, and he deserved the truth. Maybe–
Something past his shoulder caught her attention.
“Oh no!” She pulled away from him and ran for the stove.
Smoke squeezed its way through the cracks around the door. The biscuits were burning. One more mistake. Couldn’t she do anything right? Without thinking, she grabbed the oven door and yanked it open. Heat seared her palm just as a cloud of dark smoke rushed out. The pain made her inhale sharply, drawing thick, acrid smoke into her lungs.
“Be careful!” David’s arm wrapped around her shoulders and he pulled her away from the stove.
With her eyes shut tight, Caroline let him lead her blindly across the room. Her mind was a jumble of thoughts and accusations, all having to do with the fact that she was a miserable failure. Tears rolled down her cheeks as she coughed and sputtered, trying to draw clean air back into her lungs.
David helped her sit on the edge of the bed. He took her hand and gently inspected her palm. “I need to put salve on that. I’ll be right back.”
He moved away, and the absence of his touch broke what little composure she’d been able to hold onto. With her arms crossed hard across her stomach, she rocked backed and forth, shaking her head and crying to herself.
“I ruined it. I ruin everything. Better. He deserves so much better.”
When David returned, he hunkered down in front of her. She staunched the flow of words spilling from her mouth, but the tears kept coming. “Caroline, give me your hand.” He touched her arm and she let him pull it away from her stomach. Something wet touched her palm and her eyes flew open in shock.
“I’m cleaning your hand first. Then I’ll put the salve on it.” David’s voice was low and soothing, as if he was trying to calm a spooked horse. “It’s a good thing I have this burn ointment. Of course, with my work, I’d be a fool not to keep it around.”
His hands moved gently over the wound. Then he wrapped a clean bandage around her hand. “There.” He stood, set the supplies off to the side, then sat beside her and handed her a handkerchief. “Dry your eyes and blow your nose. It’s time you and I talked about more than fabric and smithing.”
She drew in a ragged breath as she looked down at the linen square in her hand. It was edged with lace and monogrammed with an E. Something else intended for Eleanor? No matter. Caroline did as he said. As her crying subsided, she accepted the fact that it was time to find out what kind of a man her husband really was.
Taking a deep breath, she forced herself to look him in the eye. “David, I have something to tell you.”
7
David kept quiet as Caroline told him her story. The more he heard, the more he wanted to shout, to express his anger at the brute who’d hurt her, but he restrained himself. It was hard enough for her to relive the terror her life had been. If he interrupted her, she might never be able to continue.
It was a lot to take in. She’d been married. And the man had abused her. No wonder she was always apologizing. She was terrified of making a mistake that would anger David. The idea that she thought he’d be capable of hurting her made his blood boil, but he couldn’t blame her. When they said their wedding vows, they were two strangers. There’d been no way of her knowing his true character.
“I never meant for it to happen.” She looked at him, imploring him to believe her, all the while wringing and twisting the handkerchief. “I was so scared, I reached out for anything, and the next thing I knew, he was…I’d…” A sob tore from her throat and she dissolved into tears.
Determining that she’d gotten to the apex of the story, David thought it safe to speak. “What happened after that? Did the authorities believe you?”
She shook her head. “I don’t know. My father came to check on me. He found me curled into a ball on the floor. That’s what he told me. I don’t remember everything. But Father, he told me that he would take care of things, but not until after I was out of town.”
David clenched his jaw. Now he knew why she’d wanted to become a mail order bride. Not because she wanted a husband, not because she wanted to create a home, but because she needed a way to escape. The entire foundation of their marriage, meager as it was, had been a sham.
“This stops now.”
Caroline’s head dropped, as though her neck had suddenly become too weak to hold it up. “I understand.” Slowly, she slid off her wedding ring, then held it out to him with shaky fingers.
“What are you doing?”
“You said… Don’t you want the ring back?” Caroline couldn’t even look at him.
David frowned. “No, that’s not what I meant. I don’t want our marriage to stop. I want the secrets to stop. I need to know the truth. Everything.” He waggled his finger at her hand. “Put that back on.”
She did, then clasped her hands together in her lap and kept her eyes fastened to them. David let out an exasperated sigh. How did they move forward from this? If only she’d told him the truth from the beginning.
He put two fingers beneath her chin and tipped her head up so she had to look at him. “What haven’t you told me?”
“Nothing.” Her eyes opened wide. “That is, I’ve told you everything.”
David shook his head. “No, you haven’t.” With a jerk of his head he motioned toward the window. “What is it with you and ruffles?”
Caroline tried to pull away, but David’s fingers curled gently around the back of her neck to keep her in place. Then he smiled, so she’d know he wasn’t angry about the ruffles. After a moment of confusion, she rewarded him with a tentative smile in return.
“I don’t have any particular proclivity toward ruffles. But I needed to find a way to use up the fabric.” She hesitated, then made herself keep speaking. “I didn’t want to use it to make a dress.”
“You don’t like it?”
“It’s fine for other things, but…”
Oh no, he thought, you’re not going to clam up on me now. He put his hands around the tightly clasped ball of fingers in her lap and gave it a gentle squeeze. “But?”
She blinked rapidly. “Well, Collin gave me a peach dress. He just brought it home one day and told me to wear it. The color was awful on me, and it didn’t fit right, but when I asked him if we could exchange it for something different, he said I was ungrateful and didn’t deserve nice things.”
Her lip quivered, and David could tell she was trying not to give in to her emotions again. Meanwhile, David was trying very hard not to let her see his anger toward a man he didn’t know. Not trusting himself to say much, he nodded. “Is that all?”
“I don’t care for daisies.”
Her admission caught David off guard. Why had she thought that important to tell him? And then he remembered the flower box. Before he could respond, she continued.
“I know you were expecting Eleanor, and you did so much to make her feel welcome, getting all her favorite things.” She waved the handkerchief weakly between them. “It shouldn’t bother me, but seeing them reminds me of how you had to marry a woman you didn’t want.”
David rose to
his feet. “It occurs to me that we need to get to know each other. And one of the first things you need to know about me is that I would never marry a woman I didn’t want.”
He held his hand out. She slipped hers into it, and he pulled her up to stand in front of him. “Yes, I was expecting someone else. But when I saw you, I knew that marrying you was the right thing to do. Not because of duty, but because God had seen fit to send you just for me. Nothing you’ve told me today changes that.”
Caroline nodded sharply. “Thank you.”
“Not everything I’ve given you was chosen for someone else.” He took the handkerchief from her and held it up. “The ‘E’ is for Esterly. This belonged to my mother. And now, it belongs to you.”
“Thank you,” she said again, the word a barely audible sound carried by her whispered breath.
“My pleasure. Now, tell me something I don’t know about you.”
She looked down at the floor as if searching for an answer. When she looked up at him, a ghost of a smile played across her lips. “My favorite flowers are hydrangeas.”
David laughed and hugged her close to him, cuddling her cheek to his chest. It was a small thing, but it was a start.
***
“I am Caroline Esterly.”
Staring into the mirror above the washbasin, Caroline spoke to herself as she had every morning since the day she’d come to think of as The Great Reveal. She spoke not only to remind herself that she was a different woman, but also that she was the wife of a different man. She’d revealed all, giving David ever reason to yell, to strike out, to send her away. But he hadn’t, because David Esterly was a good man. A man who would never intentionally hurt her, physically or emotionally.
Caroline had been brought up to believe in a loving, caring God, but during her marriage to Collin, that belief had been shaken. Every harsh word, every physical blow, every time she cried out for help that didn’t come was proof that God had turned his back on her until eventually, she wondered if he existed at all. But then, the most amazing, unusual circumstances brought her here, across the United States, to marry a man she didn’t know. It seemed perhaps God had been watching, after all, and not only had he delivered her, but he’d sent her to a man who was better than she deserved.
She frowned at herself in the mirror. David would not like that she’d had that thought. They’d been married for over a month now, and every day he reminded her that she deserved love and happiness. But he continued to put his own happiness on hold. They had yet to consummate their marriage bed, although they slept together every night. Sometimes, if she awoke in a panic from a nightmare, he would hold her until she fell asleep again. He protected her, cared for her, but demanded nothing.
“You deserve happiness too, husband.” Caroline’s lips tipped up into a smile. Tonight, things would be different.
***
Sparks flew as David’s hammer made contact with the red-hot metal on the anvil. As a rule, David had more than enough requests for horseshoes and repairing mining tools to keep him busy. But work kept his mind occupied, which distracted him from thinking about his wife and the issues they had to deal with. As a result, he’d managed to complete all the work orders in record time. With nothing he was required to do, he had to come up with a personal project. He had no idea how it would turn out, but it gave him an excuse to hit something.
Clang! Clang!
With each strike, his brow furrowed. Caroline should have been honest with him from the beginning. Of course she should have… but considering what she’d endured, how could she? Her only experience with a husband was that if she upset him, he would lash out at her. How could she know that David would be any different?
Clang! Clang!
She must have been terrified the last time Collin assaulted her. The thought filled him with anger, not only for what she’d gone through, but for what she’d been forced to do.
Clang! Clang!
Caroline had killed a man. He didn’t for a minute believe that had been her intent. She’d only wanted to get away from him. What had transpired had been purely an act of self-defense. Still, a man was dead, and now David was married to the woman that had killed him.
Clang! Clang! Clang!
“Blast it all!” Succumbing to his frustration, David whirled and threw the hammer across the room. It landed with a thud on a pile of empty burlap bags. His hand clenched around the tongs he used to grip the hot metal, exercising enough control to keep from throwing it, too. An uncontrolled piece of red-hot metal could easily burn down the place. He turned to a large pot of water and dropped the metal in. It hissed and released a small puff of steam, then sunk to the bottom.
David moved to his tool bench and put down the tongs. Then he stalked across the room. Then he turned and stalked back. Still moving, he did the only thing that made any sense.
“I need help, God.” He looked up at the ceiling, gesturing with his hands. “I need to understand. What am I supposed to do?”
There was no quick answer, no voice booming from heaven. But a thought began to coalesce in David’s mind. Caroline said she’d asked God for help, and when she reached out, she found the scissors. Had that been the answer? Was it part of the plan? And even if it wasn’t, who was David to judge? He certainly wasn’t perfect, but he believed that he was forgiven. How could he withhold that same forgiveness from Caroline?
As his pacing slowed, a calm settled over him. He’d told Caroline they needed to start over. It was about time he lived up to his word. That meant not only forgiving Caroline, but treating her like his wife, in every way. Although they shared a bed, they hadn’t consummated their marriage. In part, David wanted to give her time and space, but if he was truthful, he knew that his concern over her past had held him back. No more.
David removed his leather apron and wiped his hands on a clean rag. Today, he’d go home to his wife a better man. A man truly ready to be her husband.
He grinned and pulled the door open. “Here I come, Wife.”
But the smile froze in place when he was greeted by two men who looked as though they’d been ready to enter. Trying to be businesslike, David nodded. “May I help you, Gentlemen?”
The younger of the two took the lead. “I’m Gabriel Buchanan, brother of the late Collin Buchanan. We’re looking for my sister-in-law, Caroline.”
8
Caroline smiled as she walked down the path from the house. David would be coming home soon, but she couldn’t make herself wait any longer. So she’d decided to meet him at the shop with a basket of still-warm-from-the-oven cookies. She may still be getting to know her husband, but it didn’t take a genius to realize that he had a sweet tooth. The last time she’d tried to surprise him at work hadn’t turned out well at all, but what could go wrong with this?
As she rounded the corner, Caroline pulled herself to a sudden halt. Two men approached the door to the smithy. They seemed haggard, as if they’d just come off the stage. And one of them looked eerily familiar.
Collin?
She felt herself turn cold, and the basket of cookies fell from her hands and landed on the ground. Realizing her mistake, she ducked back around the side of the building before they could spot her. No, it couldn’t be Collin. Pressing her hand against her wildly beating heart, Caroline tried to slow her breathing. She heard a door open, so David must be leaving. Straining to hear, she eavesdropped on the exchange between the three men.
When Gabriel introduced himself, she nearly collapsed from relief. It was short-lived. Her late husband had told her he had no family, so the existence of a brother was a shock. What was he doing here? Then the other man introduced himself as Deputy Ferris, and she knew. They’d come to find her.
A few more words were exchanged, then the door shut again. Caroline chanced a look around the corner. The men were gone, which meant David had invited them inside. At this very moment, they were probably talking to her husband, reminding him of her crime, and demanding that he turn her over.
Of course, he wouldn’t want to. He would try to protect her, but what choice would he have?
Run. A voice in her head screamed for her to escape while she had the chance. But where would she go? She had no money of her own, and no place to run to. Even if she had, how could she? She couldn’t leave David alone to deal with the authorities. What if they arrested him for harboring a fugitive?
Caroline wrapped her arms around her waist and bit down hard on her lip, willing herself not to cry. Funny how things could change so quickly. Only that morning, she’d actually convinced herself that everything was going to work out. She’d even started to believe that God had brought her here to Angel Vale for a reason, and that she was finally going to have the happy, safe family life she’d yearned for. Now, she saw how foolish she’d been. There was no way she could run from her past. It would always find her.
Taking a deep breath, Caroline pushed away from the wall and stood ramrod straight. She could run, or she could give herself up. Either way, she was about to lose the man she’d come to love. The very least she could do was go out with a little bit of dignity and honor.
***
David should have taken the men to the house, but he’d wanted to find out what their business was first, before they got anywhere near his wife. Now, standing in a semi-sootless corner of the smithy, David shook his head, still trying to digest what the men had told him. It was beyond anything he’d expected.
“Gentlemen, I –” His words were cut off as the front door opened. What now?
All three of them turned to look. In walked Caroline, her expression grim, her face ashen, and her arms out in front of her, wrists together.
“Caroline,” David said. “What are you doing?”
“Surrendering.” She gave him a look that said how sorry she was, then turned to the other men, pointing her outstretched arms at one, then the other, as if she were some sort of human divining rod. “I’m ready to go with you.”
Christmas Mail Order Angels: The complete 11 Volume Set Page 31
