by Sam Faiers
In many ways, I’m quite traditional, and I’d be quite happy to organise dinner, and clean and iron his shirts if needed. I think that is the way a lot of women in Essex see things. Having said that, my cooking skills need some working on – I can only just about make a ham and cheese toastie! I blame Mum, as she is so good at all of that, so I have never had to learn.
Where I am not so traditional is that I don’t want to be a stay-at-home mum when I have kids. I wouldn’t want to be out at work every day, but I’d still want my businesses to be ticking over. And I definitely wouldn’t want to stay in every night – I’d still go on dates with my husband – although I don’t see why the kids couldn’t come along too!
I think that is partly why I am good at socialising with all sorts of people, because Mum and Dad would take me and Billie with them when they went out to dinner in the evening – it was more like a family date. And then we would chat to people, and if we got really tired, we’d just push two chairs together and fall asleep. I think that’s a good way to bring up kids. I don’t see why parents should completely give up their lives, but at the same time it is a way of not leaving the kids at home with a babysitter all the time.
But who knows if any of this great plan will come true – I know that life can take different turns when you least expect them!
Dating Rules for Men
• It’s a rather old-fashioned view, I know, but I think it’s great when a guy offers to pay for everything on the first few dates. It shows you’re really keen to make a good impression!
• Never discuss exes, apart from briefly touching on them if necessary. No one wants to know their potential new partner’s whole dating history.
• Never order food for a girl – I hate that! A girl has her own opinion and tastes, and is perfectly capable of choosing what she wants to eat.
• Dress to impress, regardless of how well off you are. And that means no tracksuits or trainers on a date. You don’t need to spend a small fortune on clothes to look like you’ve made an effort.
• It sounds old-fashioned, but things like opening doors and walking a girl to her front door at the end of the night can earn you all sorts of brownie points!
• Forget game-playing when it comes to who should contact who and when. If the date has gone well, the guy should text the girl to say how much he enjoyed it and set up the next one the morning after. None of this ‘leave it three days’ rubbish.
• A bit of spoiling goes a long way. You don’t have to shower her with gifts all the time, but a perfume, or a lip gloss, or something girly shows you have been thinking of her.
• As for when you first have sex, there is no set rule about that. It should be a mutual decision. Just as long as there have been a good few dates and you feel comfortable with it, go for it!
Dating Venues
Where you take a girl on a first date, and how you behave, are so important if you want to impress! And while you can try to be more adventurous, like Mark Wright, and take a girl skiing or to a cookery lesson, you will have seen on the show that doesn’t always work out . . . So if you want to follow a safer, more traditional route, this is how I reckon you should do it.
• The first date is crucial. And no, boys, the cinema does not count! How are you supposed to get to know someone that way? It should be dinner and drinks somewhere with atmosphere, though nothing too romantic. A bit of a dance afterwards would be good too. I can’t vouch for other areas of the country, but my favourite venue in Essex for a first date would probably be Sheesh, a Turkish restaurant in Chigwell, because it has a really buzzy atmosphere. And if you are skint, there are cheaper options, like Tarantino in Brentwood, a great Italian place that has a live singer on Fridays. Wherever you live and whatever your budget, do a bit of research before picking your venue.
• For a second date, you can up the stakes a bit. I would like someone to take me into London. I like Little Italy in Soho. They do great Italian food, and have a good dance area.
• Aim for more romance and class for the third date. I like Alec’s Restaurant, in the countryside outside Brentwood. It has a pianist, great service and a more romantic vibe. If you get beyond that, just make sure the standard keeps getting higher! And for special occasions, you need to go all out. I like to be taken to the theatre – musicals always go down well with girls. Then go somewhere lovely for dinner and drinks afterwards. If you pick a hotel with a great restaurant and bar, you can book a room there afterwards if things have gone well!
• A few months into a relationship, you could consider taking her on holiday. Somewhere warm and relaxing would be ideal. Dubai would be my perfect location at the moment, and it is close enough to just go for a long weekend if that is all you have time for.
• If you get to the proposal, make it a good one! There is no doubt that this is the guy’s job, and it has to be all-out special. It’s too personal a matter for me to give any specific advice, but whatever you do, don’t propose in public! I don’t get why people go down on one knee in a restaurant in front of loads of people. Somewhere private and romantic is a much better idea.
5
LOTS OF LASHES AND LIP GLOSS
While diamonds are of course amazing, I really feel an Essex girl has two more important best friends: false eyelashes and lip gloss! If there are two things that I would really hate to be seen in public without, it is these. Some girls underestimate the difference they can make to their appearance, but trust me, they are the two basics that make a world of difference to how you look.
Not that I don’t like to use plenty of other make-up as well, but I am not someone who will trowel it on – I hate seeing someone who is too made-up. They are doing themselves no favours, as not only is it bad for their skin, but it ends up making them look older. Make-up needs to be applied very well to look good.
I can’t really remember when I first started wearing makeup. Looking back at my old school photos, I guess it was about a year after I started at secondary school. My friends and I would spend hours putting it on in the toilets at school, or trying things out on each other at home in the evenings and at the weekends. On Saturdays we would hang around the shops, and spend any pocket money we had saved up on whatever was the latest make-up we wanted to try out. I am not sure if the boys appreciated what we were doing, but we had fun working it out for ourselves anyway.
When I was in Year 10 and Billie was in Year 11, we moved to Spain for five months and went to an English international school out there. It was a weird experience for us. Don’t get me wrong, we loved Spain – the weather, the lifestyle and the place were great, and we learned some Spanish and met different people. But ultimately it wasn’t for us – Billie and I missed our home and our friends, so Mum made the decision to move us back home, even though Mum and Dad were really happy out there. Looking back, I suppose we were quite selfish about it, but we were young and didn’t realise it at the time. Laude Lady Elizabeth Senior School was a good school though. It was a mixed-sex private day school in Lliber in Alicante, and had great facilities, like a huge swimming pool, games courts and loads of new computers and that.
But one massive difference I noticed between that school and our school back home was their attitude to make-up. The teachers would stand outside the assembly hall with makeup-remover wipes, and they would make you take off any make-up you were wearing as you went in. Try doing that in an Essex school – you would have no chance! Literally, one little bit of bronzer and they would make you take it off. No girl in an Essex school would stand for being told to do that . . .
Looking back, on the one hand, I can see why they did it, but on the other hand, you are at an age when you are experimenting and starting to fancy boys, so it is only natural. Also, if you suffer from acne, a bit of foundation can actually make all the difference, not only to how you look, but to your confidence.
My nan always used to tell me I would laugh at myself in the future, and true enough, looking back at photos from those d
ays, I guess I do. But who cares – at the time I thought I looked hot!
And to be honest, Billie and I definitely looked better than a lot of our classmates, because we had one of the best makeup teachers to learn from – our mum’s younger sister, Libby, was a make-up artist as we were growing up. I remember her doing make-up for celebrities like Blazing Squad, and sometimes we were allowed to go and watch her at work. So I think we picked up some tips from that.
The only thing that bothers me about make-up on young girls is how soon they start putting on foundation. Unless, as I said, you have problem skin in the first place, it is the one thing that will actually create a problem. Young skin should really be allowed to breathe – so save the foundation until you are older and need it. I see all these young girls coming into Minnies with it totally caked on, and it really annoys me, as their skin is so fresh and young, yet they are clogging it up. I’d definitely steer girls away from the foundation for as long as possible.
Instead it should be all about bronzer and highlighter on cheeks. Bronzer gives you a nice glow that makes you look like you have been in the sun. You can brush it all over your face, especially on the places where you tend to catch the sun the most. Then use highlighter on your cheekbones to add a shimmer and draw attention to them.
But the all-important thing for an Essex girl is false eyelashes – they are a must. Big, thick, long lashes look really sexy and glamorous, and you can never really get that look without using false lashes, no matter how great your own eyelashes and mascara are.
You will never see any of the girls on TOWIE without their lashes, even when they are just relaxing at home. In fact you will never see them make-up free at all, but lashes are the most crucial.
I started wearing them when I was about 16 or 17 and was beginning to go out clubbing. Back then, I saw them as something glamorous and to be saved for a special night out, but slowly they became more and more an everyday thing, and now you will rarely see me without them. Occasionally they can be a pain – like if you forget to take them off after a late night and you wake up with your eyes stuck together, or one set of lashes on your pillow, but generally I couldn’t do without them. I wear one pair of lashes if I am having a casual day, but when I go on a night out, I normally wear two pairs, to get a really thick, dramatic look. I have tried out a few brands over the years, but at the moment my favourite is Eylure. Their lashes are numbered, and my favourite are the 107 and 140 sets.
For me though, false eyelashes are especially important because I suffer from a condition called trichotillomania, which means I pull my eyelashes out – that sounds weird, I know! So although not many people know it, I don’t actually have any lashes at all. Sometimes little short ones will appear as they start to grow back, but I will just pull them out again before they have a chance to grow. It is hard to explain why I pull them out. It is like a habit that I have, so I do it without thinking. I do it when I am nervous, or bored, or even when I am asleep. I don’t even realise I am doing it.
It started when I was about eight or nine. Someone – I can’t remember who – said to me that if you find a stray eyelash and blow the lash away and make a wish, it will come true. And I think I decided that the more I did that, the more chance my wish had of coming true. I don’t even know what I was wishing for, but I guess it was something I wanted really badly, because I was doing it a lot, and then it became a habit. Before I knew it, I was doing it without thinking, and that is when I started doing it in my sleep too.
My mum saw what I was doing, but didn’t really understand why, and wasn’t sure how to stop me. She’d get pretty frustrated with me, but I carried on doing it, so in the end she took me to the doctor. I can’t really remember what they said, but it didn’t work, whatever it was. Another time, I went to a hypnotherapist. That worked for a bit and all my eyelashes started to grow back, but then I started doing it again.
I was really self-conscious about my lack of lashes when I was at school. I went to Raphael Junior School in Hornchurch, which was an independent school – and is actually where I became good friends with Amy Childs. Our mums have been friends for years, so we grew up playing together.
The kids there were taught to be really polite and well behaved, but people are still nosy, and little kids tend to just ask any questions that come into their heads, don’t they? So when they realised I had no lashes, they would ask me about it. I was embarrassed to tell them the truth – and it was so hard to explain anyway – so I would always make something up.
My sister Billie was really good to me about it, and would help me make up stories to stop people from asking me about it all the time. I remember one time she told me to say I had done a handstand against the wall and then I’d fallen over and all my eyelashes had fallen out. How crazy is that? It shows how a kid’s mind works, because I am sure it made sense to the pair of us at the time. Who knows, maybe the other little kids believed it!
Once I got to secondary school, I discovered eyeliner, so things weren’t so bad. I learned to smudge a bit around my eyes, and then people didn’t notice my lack of lashes so much. That made me more relaxed about it, and I was able to just tell people the truth if they asked me.
Now I feel I have kind of come to terms with it. If anything, it annoys my mum more than me now. I probably will try to overcome the problem eventually, but I don’t feel as though I have the time for it at the moment. I still don’t normally talk to people about it though. It’s just those close to me that know about it – up until now of course! My family and boyfriends all say I look beautiful either way – but I guess they have to! I can see that other people are surprised the first time they see me without my lashes or make-up on.
I have actually done two shoots for magazines where I was supposed to be make-up free. They were articles to show that despite being on a TV show where appearance is so important, we are just like anyone else without the make-up. People wanted to see what we looked like once the make-up was stripped away, but I couldn’t quite bring myself to do the shoot with no lashes. So on one shoot, I wore a little bit of eyeliner smudged in, and on the other, I wore a really thin pair of false lashes. They were so thin though, they were still smaller than most people’s own lashes – and definitely a lot smaller than Amy’s, who was doing the same shoot! I hope no one thinks that was cheating. I felt so exposed, there was no way I’d have done the shoots otherwise.
Luckily my eyelashes are the only hair on my body I pull out – other people with trichotillomania pull out hair from all over their bodies so, for example, they might have no eyebrows. But while my eyebrows are naturally thin, they are all mine! My eyebrows are quite fair, but annoyingly they are not the shape I want them to be, so I have changed them quite a bit.
I think I waxed them for the first time around Year 11. I tried eyebrow tattooing once, but I didn’t like it. It was too painful to get done, actually quite stressful, and I didn’t even think they looked good. They were too dark and prominent, and on me the colour didn’t hold well and faded quickly. I think they look too obvious – I prefer them to be more subtle.
I get HD brows now. It is the most fashionable way to do them, and for a reason – it works really well. The beautician uses a mix of techniques to get you the right brows, so they do things like threading, waxing, tinting and tweezing. It is so much better and despite all the work that goes into them they are actually quite natural looking.
I need my eyebrows to be quite thin and well shaped because of the shape of my eyes. I love my eyes – they are one of my favourite features about myself. Everyone always says they are very cat-like, and I think they are unique. Over the last year I have used a lot of make-up artists, and they always say they love working on my eyes, as you can do a lot with them. They can carry off most styles and types of make-up and I try to make them the focus of my face.
I like to have smokey eyes, and use a lot of light- and dark-brown eye shadow colours blended together, although I generally avoid black, as it is
a bit too dark and heavy on my eyes. I also like using a lot of gold, which is great for my eyes – if you have green eyes like me, it always looks good, as it really complements them. It’s important that you learn which colours work best for you, to go with both your eye colour and skin tone.
Having my make-up done by other people was something I got used to when I was modelling. I already had a reasonable idea of how to go about things, as Aunt Libby had taught me and Billie a few good basics, but it was the artists on those early modelling shoots who I learned the most from.
Whoever organises the shoot will normally arrange for a make-up artist to come along too, and before anything else is done, they will do your make-up to go with the theme of the shoot. I would watch closely in the mirror and ask them to explain things, then I would buy the products and brushes that I thought worked best and copy their techniques myself at home.
The two main things I learned during those shoots were blending and the importance of brushes, both of which I think people forget about. Blending the right colours together, and really making it look like one flows into the other, is so important for a good look. But equally, so are the brushes you use. They need to be of a good quality – trust me, you can see the difference when someone has used a low-quality, cheap brush. And you need at least one different brush for everything. I will use four different brushes just to put on my foundation.
Now that I have done so many shoots and learned so much about make-up and techniques, sometimes it is hard for me to keep my opinion to myself – if I disagree with what the makeup artist is doing, I really have to bite my tongue and put my trust in them. Generally though they are pretty good and talk it through with you. And occasionally, if I am given the choice, I will opt to do my own make-up, because I am so confident in it now.
On the actual show, we all do our own make-up. Everyone is surprised by that, but it is our real lives, so it wouldn’t make sense if we had make-up artists coming to our houses and making us look different from how we usually do. Having said that, all us girls will get people in before big events such as awards ceremonies to help us out.
