by Sam Faiers
Generally, though, my mum makes pretty healthy food. She is really conscious to make things from scratch and to avoid ready-made meals. I want to do the same now that I’ve moved out of home – my only problem, as you might have noticed on TOWIE, is I can’t cook! The one time we tried to cook food for a Christmas party at Arg’s, Amy, Harry and I didn’t exactly pull it off very well. And then when Mark took me on a date to learn to cook, and the chef slapped this bloody great dead fish onto the counter . . . well, that was it! There was no chance I was going to cut off its head or gut it. I like good food, and I don’t mind giving things a go, but really, there is a limit! I guess I’ll be forced to learn when I live on my own though, for the sake of my health and weight.
My typical daily diet starts with a cup of tea in bed, and a biscuit – either a chocolate digestive or one of those Viennese ones from Marks & Spencer. I love them! I know it is not the best way to start the day, but I have to have it. Mum used to bring it up for me, and missing out on that is one of the real downsides of leaving home! In fact bringing me my daily tea and biscuit in the morning is probably my main requirement in any boyfriend who wants to stand a chance of lasting long . . .
Then, after I have got up and had my shower and that, I will have breakfast. Normally it is whatever cereal is in the cupboard, like Frosties, Sugar Puffs, or Coco Pops, with semi-skimmed milk. Or if I want something different, I have a slice of toast with peanut butter or Marmite. Hovis Best of Both bread, if you really want to know!
Then for lunch I have a sandwich and a packet of crisps, or sushi and a packet of crisps. The crisps are non-negotiable. But I make up for it with some kind of fruit afterwards. And I generally just drink water with lunch.
When I lived at home, dinner was basically whatever Mum made, so a roast, or pasta, or fish and veg. Since I moved out I have tried to cook a few meals – I’ve done steak, and lamb chops with veg. TJ cooked a bit in the beginning, and Mum still comes round with food.
Snack-wise, I had loads of intentions to just fill my house with healthy food, but I’ll be honest, I’m already failing! I have the odd bit of fruit or a yoghurt, but there are a lot of crisps. And takeaways still feature pretty regularly in my diet . . . I didn’t realise how expensive food was until I started buying it for myself though – I’m going to have to curb my addiction to shopping in Marks & Spencer!
After series two of TOWIE my weight crept up to 9st 7lbs, which is the heaviest I have ever been. I had just been to Marbella, and I think the partying and lack of exercise was beginning to show. I tend to have a pretty good sense of when I have put on weight, even without checking it on the scales, as my clothes will feel tighter and I’ll just generally feel bloated and heavy. And that’s what happened after Marbella – I felt bigger, and suddenly my size eight clothes were too tight.
So I tried to be healthy to get ready for the third series. I did that by just making small changes, like not having butter on my toast, having a salad instead of a sandwich for lunch, taking smaller portions at dinner, and swapping my morning cereal for eggs. I don’t know that much about dieting though, so when I am trying to lose weight, I will print something off the internet and try to follow that. I’ve always wanted to try the Cambridge Diet – where you replace food with milkshakes, as I like milkshakes, so think I would find that one easy! But you have to be a certain amount overweight to do it, and sadly – or rather happily – I’m not.
I tried going to a boot camp once. I went for just one day and, I have to say, I hated it. Being bossed around like I was in the army was not my kind of thing – I hate being told what to do. It is scary being shouted at like that, and there is just no leeway. You do what they say, and that’s it. And they always make you do more than you feel you can – like they’ll tell you to do ten repetitions of something, then when you are completely exhausted and think you are coming to the end of it, they suddenly go ‘Right, three more.’ I don’t think that’s fair!
The one I did was the Trimmer You Boot Camp, and I went to their centre in the Peak District with Love It magazine to do a feature. The daily routine started when you had to get up at 6 a.m. for an hour’s run. Grim. Then you were given some water and nuts before you did another workout. And only after that could you have breakfast – if you can call it breakfast! I was so unimpressed by it – it was like a spoonful of porridge or something, along with a quarter of a banana and some herbal tea. I am a big eater, and that did not impress me! Lunch and dinner were nicer, but the portions were so tiny, it really put me off. I know you are supposed to be losing weight, but you need food to give you the energy to get through all the exercise. I might have liked it more if they hadn’t totally starved us. Then there was an evening walk, which was a nice way to unwind at the end of the day, although by then all you wanted to do was sleep!
Most of the cast have been to boot camps at some point, but from what I have heard theirs were all pretty basic, whereas mine was an exclusive – and expensive – one. The facilities were lovely, and you could unwind at night with a Jacuzzi in your room. I guess that was the best bit.
I wouldn’t totally knock them – they are a good option if you are the kind of person who needs to be bossed into doing something, or you want to lose a few pounds and shape up quickly – but it just isn’t for me.
I’m not sure it was great for Arg and Gemma either. They both lost weight at boot camps – then put it back on again. They need longer-term targets over a few months. Arg especially is a yo-yo dieter. He does try, but basically, he is a bit greedy! He thinks it is rude to leave food, so he always finishes his, and then if you have left any, he starts to pick at that as well. It’s a bad habit.
The one bit of intense blitzing since starting TOWIE, when I really noticed a big difference and enjoyed myself in the process, was when Billie, Lydia and I made a fitness DVD called The Essexercise Workout.
There are three 20-minute sections in it: Totally Retro Reem, which is a dance workout; No Carbs Before Marbs, which is combat training; and the Well Jel Workout, which is cardio. We were working on the video for five days solid, and it was exhausting, but great fun. We spent the first three days learning the routines with the lady who was organising it – who, I swear, must have had close to 0 per cent body fat. She wasn’t horribly skinny or anything, because she was toned and muscly, but you could not have pinched even a tiny bit of fat on her body. Then there was our instructor, Glenn Ball who, I have to say, is pretty fit, in both meanings of the word . . . He certainly gave us something to look forward to each day anyway!
After he had taught us the routines and we had got them perfected, we spent two days filming it. We were doing exercise non-stop, from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. every day, and it was exhausting, great fun and very hardcore.
I remember wanting a sausage sandwich on the first day of filming, and the others asked for bacon sandwiches. But you’d think we had asked for someone to be shot or something. Honestly! The room went silent, and we were pointed towards this amazing but healthy food they had got for us, like fruit and nuts and that. But we had been out the night before and had not had dinner, so I really wanted proper food, and stood my ground.
Eventually they had to go and check with the boss if it was allowed, and there was a ten-minute debate, and then I was told that for health and safety reasons it wasn’t a great idea. I know that exercising straight after food isn’t ideal, but I was desperate and was determined to get my sausage sandwich! Eventually they gave in and it was allowed, but wow, the way we worked out, I think I burned it off again in five minutes anyway.
By the end of the five days my old six-pack was starting to reappear, and the definition in my muscles was showing again. I think that is an upside of all the sport I did as a kid – as soon as I start to exercise again, my muscle tone improves very quickly. I think an athletic figure is very attractive. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want to go all body builder-esque, like Jodie Marsh, but looking like you are toned and in shape is great.
Sa
dly, once filming for the DVD ended, I didn’t keep it up – until the DVD came out that is, and then I used it to get back in shape again! That was the weirdest thing, following myself on the screen, but it was a really funny way to do it.
I think Lucy Meck has the best body on the show. She is naturally slim, and while she isn’t really into exercise, she eats well.
One person on the show who I can see worries about her body all the time, and who really shouldn’t, is Jess. She is so beautiful and slim – slimmer than me – but she is so insecure. Insecurities are natural, but she has a lot, and I don’t think she is fair on herself. I don’t know where it comes from really, as she has a supportive family, a successful business and a great body! But the smallest things stress her out. It’s silly because people are always complimenting her looks, and she’s got a perfect shape, even though she doesn’t go to the gym and really likes her food and wine! It’s her insecurities that made her get her boobs done, although I thought they were good before. Now she worries they are too big. You can’t win!
Out of other celebs, I’d probably say Eva Mendes has my dream figure. She is slim, but still curvy, and that, for me, is always a good look. I also think – like probably every girl in the country – that Abbey Clancy has an amazing figure, even after having a baby. But while it works for her, I think her frame would be too skinny on most people, and is not necessarily a body shape to aspire to.
When it comes to my family, Mum is a naturally tall and slim person. Looking back at her old photos, she has always been skinny. My biological dad is more of a muscular figure. I reckon I am somewhere in between. Billie is smaller and curvier than me. She has bigger hips and boobs, and where I am an eight to ten, she is a ten. Though that’s mainly because of her boobs! She takes after Nanny Wendy – our biological dad’s mum. I don’t think either of us envy each other’s figures. We just see them for what they are – both the advantages and disadvantages, and we have always been brought up to be proud of them.
12
THE OTHER WAY IS MARBS
No book about me – or any of the TOWIE lot for that matter – would be complete without a chapter on Marbella. It is like a home away from home for me and loads of Essex people, and I reckon I could go there every year for the rest of my life and never get bored of it.
If you don’t know it, Marbella – or Marbs, as we call it – is a city in the south of Spain, but while the weather might be much nicer than at home, the mentality there really is the same as in Essex, and the lifestyle suits us perfectly. It’s as if someone’s transported everyone from Essex onto the beach!
You can see from TOWIE how much of a part Marbs plays in our lives. When it starts to get closer to party season, and people are sorting out their trips, there is an immense amount of planning going on, as everyone makes a real effort in the run-up to their holidays.
As Marbs is all about posing, everyone wants to get in shape. That’s why that famous TOWIE saying came about – ‘No Carbs Before Marbs!’ Ellie Redman came up with it on the show as a motivational saying when she was running a diet class for Arg, and it just kind of stuck.
Back in the day, Marbella was a more exclusive, expensive resort. Everyone there had money, and it was more likely to be filled with Arab sheiks and billionaire businessmen than Essex girls and boys on holiday. But in recent years it has become more known for its partying, although still in a classy way. It is like a posh Magaluf! So rather than going out on a night in shorts and flip-flops, you will find that people make a real effort, in glamorous dresses and heels. And it is still very expensive. You have to have money to go there. I would say that for a five-day holiday, even for girls – who generally get a lot for free or paid for them out there – you should allow at least £1,000. Drinks are really expensive too, so there is still an exclusive feel to the bars and clubs.
We used to go on holiday there when Billie and I were little. I have loads of lovely memories of us going as a family and just relaxing on the beach, going for nice meals and playing around the pool. When we were kids, there was a place called the Ocean Club, which was a gorgeous private pool and sunbathing area. Now it is home to a big party each bank holiday, with huge white beds and everyone spraying champagne at each other at 5 p.m. It is one of the most exclusive places to go, and if you want to get noticed in Marbella, that is where you have to be. The way the Ocean Club has changed shows exactly how Marbella has changed from upmarket and family-orientated, to still upmarket, but more party-focused.
I’m not sure what actually caused the change in Marbella, but at some point the clubs that held nights in Essex, such as Love Juice, Sintillate and Unique Parties (which was the name of Mark Wright’s party nights), started holding nights in Marbs too, and it was like the Essex crowd just followed them out there. So before you knew it, half the county was over there, for the bank holidays originally, and then it extended into the whole summer season.
I always go out with my girl mates, and end up in the same hotel as loads of people I know, Hotel PYR, in the centre of Puerto Banus. Mark and his mates are normally there too, and we try to get rooms near each other. It can descend into carnage. It’s like half the people I went to school with are out there. In fact a lot of people I don’t have time to catch up with back in Brentwood, I catch up with in Marbs!
The boys go a bit mental when they are there, and do some proper disgusting things. I remember them pooing in each other’s bags, and one of them putting Josh’s (Mark’s brother) toothbrush up their bum. He realised what had happened before he used it, but still! Once Lydia and Arg fell out, and Mark told Arg to play hard to get, but it backfired and she just didn’t talk to him, so Arg stayed in the hotel for two nights, sulking. We found Mark weeing on Arg’s bed after the second night, saying it was revenge for him staying in. It was all really childish.
Mark really thinks he is Mr Marbella. He is so worried about his image over there, and loves to think he is the centre of it all. I remember one night the girls and I were standing on the balcony blowing a foghorn we had found, and he went mad, yelling at us that it was Marbella, not Magaluf!
It’s a funny place really, Marbs. So much of it is about image and posing. People will be strutting around the pool in diamante bikinis and heels, wanting to know where each person had bought their outfit. And no way could you be seen in the same bikini two days in a row. That would be the ultimate mistake! The big hair is also out in force, and everyone gets properly made-up.
But actually all that effort is just to look good at the start of the evening for the photographs – by the end of the night, it is all forgotten, as it is impossible to keep looking glam and on top form at a pool party. So after a few drinks, people’s true colours and sense of fun come out. By the time everyone is going home, they have flat hair and their lashes have been left behind, floating in the pool. Classy! But memorable – if you haven’t drunk too much.
There is always a lot of scandal and rumour going around Marbella. The same as back home in Essex, everyone loves a good gossip when they are out in Spain. So if you talk to a boy in, say, Sinatras or some other club one night, by the next day, everyone is saying you went back to your apartment with the guy. Everything gets exaggerated. Then again, there is a lot of that kind of thing going on – the TOWIE boys definitely don’t go home without a girl when they are out there because so many people are up for it. There is a real holiday vibe of everyone just being up for a good time and letting their guards down a bit more than they do in the UK.
Take Arg, for example, who I have known for years. I love him to pieces, and hope we will always be friends. But he was always the single one out of his group of friends, and the rest always had girlfriends. He was the cuddly, nice one, who everyone loved being around, but no one wanted to date.
I always used to feel sorry for him and would dance with him when I saw him at Faces nightclub or wherever. We’d be like grinding together, but my boyfriend at the time didn’t mind, because he knew it was just Arg and w
e were all friends. Arg and I laugh about it now.
But then Lydia came along, and suddenly she was his girlfriend – it was a proper whirlwind. Everyone was like ‘Oh my God, no way, she is too good for him! I can’t believe he has done it!’ Arg didn’t mind though – he is good at taking jokes like that. Lydia was the first person Arg slept with, although I’m not sure if Arg was her first.
But then they went to Marbella, and he cheated on her. I’m not sure exactly what happened – he told her it was just a kiss, although Marbs rumours are that he had sex with the other girl. But, as I said, everything gets exaggerated out there, so who knows what to believe! Although it was discussed in series one, we never found out the truth. And I’m not sure Lydia has exactly been a saint either. My point is just that even those two, who are really tight, were tempted to stray when they were out there, as it is that kind of place.
As for Mark, he is shameless when he is out there. I know that it’s not as if she has much of a choice, but Lauren has been very naïve over the years, letting him go to Marbs on his own. Take those pictures that came out in the summer of 2011, of him naked on the apartment balcony while Lucy Meck was in the room. Did she really think nothing had happened? Talk about kidding herself!
The first time I was allowed to go to Marbs with my friends rather than my parents was when I was 17. The year before, Billie had been allowed to go away with her friends, and they went to Magaluf, but I wasn’t allowed. I was so mad! But once I hit 17, off to Marbs we went. Other than a few holidays elsewhere with boyfriends, it’s always been about Marbella since then. I go at least three times a year, for two weeks at a time if I can – a week of partying, then a week of relaxing. My grandparents live about half an hour away from Marbella, so I go and see them as well. I’ve got quite a good set-up going!
It’s weird because each year you see the next wave of younger people coming out. It’s like a rite of passage you have to go through when you hit 16 if you want to be proper Essex! A lot of people say the recent publicity for the place is making it go downhill, but either way, I can say I have had some of the best times of my life there, and I have some great memories.
