“How could I forget? Those were some of the best times in my life. Which is why I can never, ever . . .” he said, raising Adrienne’s chin so she could look at him. “I can never be without you. My soul is so at peace when I’m around you, and no one has ever made me feel that way.”
“I’m glad you’re comfortable with me, because you know I’ve always felt that way about you, too. I know it sounds crazy, but at one point I used to think I couldn’t live without you. I loved you that much, and that’s why I was so depressed when our relationship ended like it did.”
“Shhhhh. Baby, please. I know you can’t help thinking about that, but from this day forward, let’s just try to think about today and all the good times ahead of us.”
“Okay, you’re right. I promise not to talk about the past if you promise not to ever leave me again.”
“You have my word on that.”
“I do have to tell you something, though.”
“What’s that?”
“Today was the first time Thomas questioned me about where I was going.”
“You told him you were going shopping with a friend and then to dinner, right? So why would he question that?”
“He’s questioning it because I haven’t had sex with him since you and I were first together again. And even though I keep trying to act the same toward him, my whole persona is different. I can feel myself avoiding him, and I know he’s starting to think something is wrong.”
“Well, what did he say when you left this morning?”
“He said he hoped we weren’t about to have the same problems we had five years ago.”
“I wouldn’t worry about that. He’s just a little suspicious.”
“I know, but we still have a few months to go before I tell him I want a divorce, and pretty soon he’ll be questioning me every time I leave the house or every time I come home later than usual.”
“That’s why I think you should tell him you want a legal separation until that time. That way, you won’t have to deal with him at all,” Curtis said, kissing her forehead. “You know what I’m saying, baby,” he said, hugging her tightly.
He was hoping that maybe all of the deacon’s questions would cause Adrienne to feel so uneasy that she’d finally move out and get her own place. Curtis would even help pay all her monthly expenses. Especially since he’d be staying there with her on a part-time basis. He hadn’t spent the entire night away from home with another woman, not even when he was married to Tanya, but it was just a matter of time before he did. He’d even considered doing it tonight, but he had a feeling Adrienne wasn’t going to agree to it. She’d be too worried about the deacon and what he’d have to say about it.
“Curtis, did you hear me?” she asked.
“What? Yes,” he said. It was obvious that he’d been daydreaming.
“Then what did I say?”
“You said . . . well, I don’t know exactly, but I heard you,” he said, stumbling.
Adrienne pulled away from him. “And that’s why you’re not getting any more of this either.” She drew the covers across her body, smiling.
“Is that a fact?” He pulled her back closer to him and slipped under the sheet with her.
“Yes. It is.”
“So you’re not going to give Daddy one last piece of dessert before the evening is over?”
“No, because you were ignoring me.”
“Okay, I’m sorry. Tell Daddy again what you said.”
“I said that if you want me to leave Thomas right now, then you’re going to have to file for your divorce a lot earlier than you planned.”
She was breaking the mood, and Curtis hated when she got serious on him in the middle of foreplay. It was the one thing he honestly didn’t like about her. It was almost as if she did it on purpose, because she knew he couldn’t stand it.
“You know I can’t file for a divorce this soon after marrying Mariah, because of the church. So I guess you’ll have to stay with the deacon until I do.”
“I guess I will, but don’t keep asking me to leave him if you’re not planning to leave Mariah,” she said, and moved away from him again. This time she sat up on the side of the bed.
“Look, baby, I’m sorry. But let’s not fight, okay? If it bothers you that much, then I won’t bring it up again. We’ll stick to the plan, and in October we’ll both file for our divorces.”
“Fine,” she said, turning to look at him.
“You are so beautiful, you know that?”
He pulled her on top of him.
They kissed and caressed each other and made love one last time before leaving Tyler’s condo.
When they were outside, Curtis pressed Adrienne against her car and kissed her again.
“I love you so much,” she said.
“But not more than I love you.”
Curtis watched her back out of the driveway and wished there was some way he could end his marriage to Mariah and marry Adrienne. Because at this very moment, that was what he really wanted.
But he knew it was only because his heart and loins were doing his thinking for him.
In reality, he knew he had to keep Mariah, because the church would want him to and because he could control her much better than he could Adrienne. Once upon a time, Adrienne had been just as easy as Mariah, but the more he spent time with Adrienne, the more he could tell she now had a mind of her own. Yes, Adrienne loved him, but she wasn’t the same pushover she used to be.
Curtis pulled out of the driveway and thought about something less straining. He thought about the fifteen-hundred-dollar suit he’d seen in GQ. He thought about his nine-month-old Cadillac SUV and how it was time for something new. He hadn’t decided what he was going to buy, but this time it was going to be something that cost near or in the six figures. It was going to be something people noticed whenever they saw him driving it. They would know he was someone to be respected.
Curtis smiled and began reciting portions of the Easter sermon he was going to preach tomorrow morning.
“Where in the world have you been all day, Curtis?” Mariah asked. They were in the family room now, but she’d been standing right in front of the garage door as soon as she heard him pull inside of it.
“I told you before I left. Tyler and I went car shopping and then we had lunch. And after that I went by his house with him and had dinner with his family.”
“Do you think I’m stupid, Curtis?”
“No, baby, I’m telling you the God’s honest truth. I wouldn’t lie to you about something like this.”
“So are you saying that if I pick up the phone and call Tyler’s wife, she’ll tell me that you were over there?”
“What? Call his wife? Have you lost your mind?”
“No, because I want to know if that’s really where you were all evening.”
“You are not about to embarrass me, Mariah. Do you want them to think we’re having problems and that you don’t trust your own husband?”
“No, but I’m sick of you coming up with all these reasons why you have to be gone.”
“I’m not just coming up with reasons. I spent the day with Tyler because you said that you and Vivian were going shopping most of the day.”
“But I’ve been back home since around five o’clock. But now it’s eleven and you’re just now waltzing in here,” she said. She was surprised by her own tone and she could tell he was, too.
“And how was I supposed to know when you were going to be back here? What did you want me to do, sit around waiting on you all afternoon?”
“Yes, because I spend every single boring day of my life waiting for you.”
“Why are you so upset?”
“Because I’m sick of all your excuses and all your lies, Curtis.”
“Lies? I know you’re not standing there calling your own husband a liar.”
Mariah sighed and turned away from him.
“Wait a minute,” he said, grabbing her shoulder. “Don’t you ever walk away
from me. You started all this madness, now stay here and finish it. So answer me.”
“Answer what?” she said, shocked that he’d grabbed her the way he had.
“Are you going to stand there and call me a liar to my face?”
Mariah didn’t know how to respond because she didn’t want him to become any angrier than he already was. It was probably better to back down, but she just couldn’t dismiss everything that Vivian had suggested. She had to stand up for herself or Curtis was never going to stop treating her the way he was.
“I’m not calling you a liar, I just want to know why you’re never home and why you always find all these other things to do so you won’t have to be with me.”
“The bottom line is this, Mariah: When I tell you something, you had better start believing it. And while we’re on the subject, let me make myself clear about something else. You’re my wife, but you don’t have the right to question me about anything. I told you that at the beginning, but you seem to have forgotten. A wife has her place and the Bible clearly states that a wife must submit to her husband. And that’s all you need to concern yourself with. Not with where I’ve been or with what I’m doing.”
Yes, she’d heard him speak about that, but until now he’d treated her like she was an equal. Like she was his wife. And she couldn’t understand at all why now he was speaking to her like she was beneath him. Almost like he couldn’t stand the sight of her.
But she wasn’t about to back down to him.
“Are you seeing someone else?” she asked.
“What?” he said, laughing. “Woman, now I know you’ve lost it. And where is all this really coming from, anyway? All this ranting and raving you’re doing? Although, come to think of it, I know exactly where it’s coming from. That big, tall, man-looking Amazon you call your best friend.”
“This has nothing to do with Vivian,” was all she could say.
“Of course it does. It has everything to do with her, and the only reason she’s pumped you up like this is because she doesn’t have a man herself. She’s miserable and lonely, and she wants you to be the same way. And you’re crazy enough to fall for it.”
“But that’s just it, Curtis, I am miserable and lonely, and that’s the whole point I’m trying to make.”
“Well, if you are, it’s your own fault, because I told you to find something to do.”
“But what about us? I know you’re busy with the church, but, Curtis, it’s gotten to the point where you only spend maybe one or two evenings with me a week. And now all of a sudden you’re claiming you have to do work on Mondays when you promised me that we’d always do something together on your day off.”
“That was before I found out how much work I had to do.”
“Well, as much as I hate to say it, I can’t go on like this.”
“Can’t go on? I know you’re not trying to threaten me, are you?”
“No, I’m just saying that I can’t keep being unhappy like this.”
“Have you forgotten that you had nobody before you met me? That is, unless you count that low-life family of yours who’ve never even seen the inside of a church, let alone gone to one.”
Mariah burst into tears.
Curtis walked past her, then glanced back. “I wish you would try to walk out on me and my church. If you do, you’ll regret it for the rest of your life. Now this conversation is over.”
Chapter 12
Every pew inside Truth Missionary Baptist Church was filled. It was Easter Sunday and there were at least a thousand more people than usual in attendance. Mariah tried not to focus on negative remarks, especially when she was at church, but she couldn’t help thinking about her favorite aunt and what she used to say. “I go to church every week of the year, but not on Easter. I don’t go because it’s the one Sunday that every lukewarm, juke-joint, holy-rollin’ Christian is guaranteed to be at church. And all they come for is to show off their new outfits. Then you don’t see not one of them again until next year.”
Mariah didn’t know about the lukewarm, juke-joint part, because it wasn’t her place to judge people, but it was amazing how full the church always was on Easter Sunday. There were more colossal hats and loud colors than one could find at the circus. But the saddest part of all was that she’d quickly fallen into the same category. Before she’d met Curtis, she attended a church with only five hundred members and wore the same business suits she wore to work. She never wore hats, and it was highly unusual for her to sport a flamboyant suit like the one she was wearing today. It was doubly unusual for her to match a purse to every pair of shoes that she owned.
She’d had no desire toward dressing to impress, but Curtis had told her that if she was going to be the first lady of his church, she was going to have to act like it. He’d told her that it was up to her to set an example for the rest of the women in the church and that under no circumstances was she to ever dress beneath any of the members. He’d even told her that it was time-out for those nondesigner purses she carried on the weekdays, too, and had personally taken her to buy three new ones. One from Louis Vuitton, one from Coach, and one from the Fendi store. She still remembered how shocked she’d been when she realized he’d spent fifteen hundred dollars in total. It had seemed ridiculous to her at the time, but it wasn’t long before she’d acquired those same exquisite tastes. Before she met him, she had no problem with shopping at JCPenney, Lerner’s, and, for special occasions, Marshall Field’s. But now it didn’t feel right unless she frequented Saks, Nordstrom, and Neiman Marcus.
Mariah returned her attention to the morning worship and watched her husband stand up and walk across the pulpit. He was preparing to deliver his Easter message, and this was the first time since marrying him that she didn’t want to hear him preach. She hadn’t ever felt as hurt and as angry as she had last night, and she didn’t know what she was going to do about her situation. She wished she had the courage to pack her bags and leave the way Vivian had suggested when she called her this morning, but she wasn’t strong enough to do it. She wanted to be, but a part of her was hoping that maybe Curtis was just going through a phase. Maybe he’d been single for so long that he needed some time to regroup and get used to his new life with her. Maybe he was acting so terribly because of all the stress that came with being a pastor. She wanted to believe all of the above, but she knew none of those reasons was the problem. She knew deep within her soul that Curtis was seeing someone else.
Mariah watched Curtis as he began to speak.
“Oh, what a time, what a time,” he said, holding either side of the podium. “Choir, you all are truly singing from your hearts today. Singing for the Lord. Singing for that great and wonderful man who died on Calvary for all your sins and mine. But oh, didn’t he get up early one Sunday morning just like he said he would? He rose just like he promised. He stayed true to his word, church,” Curtis said, pounding the podium with his fist. “Oh, I tell you, I’m happy today. I’m happy because someone loved us so much, He sacrificed His own life so that we might live eternally.”
Curtis spun around three times right where he was standing.
“Give the Lord a great big handclap,” Curtis said, following his own instructions.
The congregation applauded loudly.
When it quieted down, Curtis continued.
“You know, the fact that we are so blessed doesn’t mean that we’re any better or any more of a Christian than the next person. We just as easily could have been drunks or drug addicts, living on the street. And the only difference is that God, for whatever reason, decided to favor each and every one of us here.”
Hundreds of members yelled amen. Mariah just didn’t have it in her this morning, and she saw Curtis looking over at her, probably trying to figure out why she wasn’t into what he was saying.
He turned his Bible to where he wanted to read and gazed back across the congregation.
“I’m not going to preach about Easter Sunday this morning, because just about ever
yone in here knows that Jesus died on the cross and why he did it. No, what I want to talk about today is something else that also might help you in your daily lives. But before I do, I want my beautiful wife to stand up for a minute.”
Mariah hated when he did this. She hated how he always put her on the spot like she was the Queen of England. But since all eyes were planted on her, she didn’t have much choice but to do what he’d asked.
“Isn’t she looking good today?” he said. “I mean, don’t get me wrong, she always looks good, but today she looks especially nice in that off-white and fuchsia.”
Amens echoed across the entire church.
“There ain’t nothing like having a beautiful wife to look at every day.”
“Amen, Pastor,” one gentleman said loud enough for everyone to hear.
Laughter resonated throughout the congregation.
Mariah smiled graciously and took her seat.
“I hope y’all don’t think I’m standing up here bragging, because I’m not. It’s just that I love my wife, and I want the whole world to know it,” he said, looking at Mariah. “Honey, I just want you to know that I thank God for bringing you into my life. He brought us together for a reason, and I’m just glad about it.”
He hugged himself, rocked from side to side, and visually fought back tears.
Mariah felt like going home.
Curtis finally settled himself and said, “Today I want to speak on the subjects of adultery, fornication, and lust.”
Mariah heard members yelling everything from “All right now” to “Preach today” to “Fix it up.” They couldn’t wait to hear what he had to say.
“So if you have your Bibles, please turn with me to First Corinthians, chapter six. After that, we’ll be reading in Jeremiah, Proverbs, and Matthew.”
Bible pages rustled until everyone arrived at the designated spot.
“Before we begin, though, I just want to clarify the difference between fornication and adultery. Fornication, you see, is the illicit sexual relation between unmarried individuals.”
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