by B. T. Narro
But I couldn’t get my thoughts off Eizle and lost track of the question being asked of me. Floating—that was it.
“I tried once and it didn’t work out.” My face and chest had slammed into the ground, the pain a deterrent from trying again.
“Show me.”
I tried to get away with explaining what had happened without recreating it, but Jaymes just shook his head and interrupted me.
“I said show me.”
“I don’t want to fall on my face…sir.”
“How are you going to practice if you fear failure?”
“I’m not afraid of failure, sir. I’m afraid of breaking my nose.”
“So make the sheet of energy vertical, lean against it, then slowly lower it and yourself to a horizontal position.”
“Yes, sir.”
I did as he suggested, gathering the energy and then spreading it out to make a thin wall. I stretched out my arms and leaned against it, turning my face to protect my nose. Then I carefully tilted the energy, making sure to keep my chest, arms, and face pushed against it.
As the angle became steeper, my weight on the energy made it want to fall. It took twice the effort to hold it in place, yet the tips of my toes were still on the ground, barely.
“Now for the transition,” Jaymes said. “It looks like you’re going to have to do it all at once—dip the energy quickly enough for your shins to stay on.”
I’d already figured that out. Now it was just a matter of keeping my fear at bay so I could concentrate on holding the energy together. It was an awkward feeling to hold myself, like trying to support an unsteady wall yet leaning my body against it at the same time.
I tilted the py quickly and jumped up to make sure I didn’t slip off its bottom. But as I came down, and nothing caught me, I gasped and flailed. My face slammed into the ground.
For a moment, I feared my nose was broken. I checked for blood and found none. My chest ached, complaining with each breath.
“You let the energy go! Do it again.” The pain worsened as Jaymes complained.
“Shouldn’t I practice this over something soft?”
“The grass is soft enough.” He took a timepiece out of his pocket. “I have to meet the king, but you’re not done until you can float. You’re going to show me tomorrow afternoon. Meet here after lunch.”
An hour, a sore chest, and a bruised face later, I finally managed to stay afloat. But disappointment hurt more than the ground when I fell with my next attempt.
After another hour I was able to get on the energy consistently. I could hold myself for only the span of three breaths, but I figured that was because I was so tired and sore. Tomorrow I would impress the commander. I wondered when he would say I was ready for battle.
But would I ever truly be ready? Battle meant killing people. Would he have me choke them? I shuddered, not sure if I was able. Stabbing someone with a sword was quick, that I could do. But holding py in a tight ring around someone’s neck long enough for him to turn blue and then become limp was something entirely different. Swenn was the only one I could do that to.
Henry was nowhere in sight. If I could find Shara, we’d have time to discuss what to do about Swenn.
A bell chimed as I looked for her. I’d remembered hearing it sometime in the morning. As I crossed through the dining hall and found nearly every seat filled by hungry-looking people, I realized the sound was to announce supper.
I found Shara. And sitting right next to her was Henry.
Damn.
CHAPTER FIVE
Apparently gossip had spread around the castle about a starved pyforial mage screaming in the great hall during lunch. The speed at which this news traveled made me wonder if everyone already knew about me and Eizle and the attack on King Quince.
I explained to Shara what had happened to Laney. She looked as if she wanted to cry.
“The poor woman,” Shara sympathized. “Can you imagine being locked away for three years?”
“I have imagined it many times. What I can’t imagine is how it would affect my mind.”
“I wonder what she was like before being captured. She couldn’t have been this fragile.”
“I’m sure you’re right. What did the commander say to you when we got back?”
“He had me meet Nurse Mayla, who asked me about my past because my last name screams that I was abandoned. I think she needed to make sure I wasn’t a madwoman like Laney.”
“Mayla is the woman who’s taking care of Laney. The commander says she has a week to adjust.”
“And then what?”
“That’s what I asked. He wouldn’t answer.”
We fell silent as we ate. Henry finished everything on his plate and got up to fill it again.
Shara and I both blurted out the same thing when he left. “We need—”
“You go first,” she said.
“We need a place we can speak without Henry overhearing.”
“Can you sneak out of your room tonight?” she asked.
“I’ll try after he falls asleep.”
Henry sat back down just as someone gave the back of my head a startling push. I looked behind me to spot a man I’d never seen before as he walked away.
“Who was that?” Shara asked.
“I have no idea.”
I saw Darri heading my way. I got up to stand in front of him.
“Do you know who that is?” I asked. “He—”
“Shut up.” Darri brushed me out of his way and didn’t look back.
I didn’t exactly think we were friends, but where did this disdain come from? Shara appeared as confused as I felt, while Henry only looked sad. He knew something.
“What’s going on?” I asked him.
He scrunched his mouth and shook his head.
“Let’s try to forget about it,” Shara said. “I want to visit Laney. Do you want to come?”
I selfishly considered how tired I was and how I’d rather spend my time. “Another day. I’m curious to know whether the castle has a library.”
Shara tilted her head, showing a grin like I’d told the start of a joke. “Why?”
“There’s a lot I need to learn. From everything you’ve told me, it seems like books are a good place to start.”
“They are!” She clapped her hands twice in excitement. “I have a feeling I know where it is.”
I hurried to keep up with her. “What about Laney?”
“I’ll see her after.”
The library, or “the great library” as it was called in the castle, took up the entire northwestern corner. Shara gasped at the size of it. Black and white marble made up the floor, which led through two chambers ending at a white door. More books than anyone could read in a lifetime were stacked along white rows of shelves adorned with roses fashioned from bronze. A gold railing ran along the second floor. Paintings of a war in the clouds covered the ceiling, stretching from one chamber to the next.
I couldn’t stop thinking about that white door. I walked straight to it and tried the handle. Locked.
“What will you read first?” Shara asked.
“What do you think is behind this door?”
She made a pensive face. I was glad she was taking the time to think about it, as I didn’t have a clue. Shara looked around, making sure there were no listening ears besides Henry, who stayed close.
She went to her toes to whisper in my ear. “It probably contains the answer as to how to get rid of Swenn.” The start of a laugh came out as a snort.
I didn’t care that she was teasing me. The warmth of her breath and the proximity of her lips had my mind racing to figure out how to make her keep whispering.
“I’m sure it’s nothing that matters to you,” she added, falling back to the bottoms of her feet. “Now what are you going to read?”
“I think I should start with history.”
Of the few people walking around the library, one glanced over, then started straight at us. Henry h
astily moved aside as if the scowling old man was dangerous. He raised a shaky finger at us.
“Your names. Give them now.”
“Neeko Aquin.”
“Shara Solo H.”
“The great library isn’t open to you. Get out.”
“Why not?” Shara asked.
“I know what you are. The master of coin warned me.”
“Whatever he said, it’s a lie,” I argued.
“Not another word! Get out.”
Shara and I looked at each other with disbelief.
“I’ll call the guards!” He sounded enthusiastic about the idea.
Shara wasn’t following me, so I put my hand on her back and guided her out.
“Don’t step a foot on this floor again,” the old man warned us.
Henry looked empathetic, showing me a sad look. It just made me angrier.
“Don’t pretend you care.”
He reached out and patted my shoulder. I pushed his enormous hand off.
“That must’ve been Storell Ampart,” Shara said. “He’s responsible for keeping the great library, well…”
“Great?”
“No. Superb.”
“You were going to say great.”
“I was.”
Someone slammed a shoulder into the back of mine. I turned to see Swenn’s squire walk past me, looking back with a glare.
“Useless thief,” he muttered. “You need to leave the castle.”
This was the man who was “honored” to meet me just yesterday, and I hadn’t seen him since. I was certain now: Swenn was telling lies about me.
Not that I would, but I started to wonder what would happen if I left. Would Swenn even let me be? Maybe, but King Quince certainly wouldn’t. I was a pyforial mage. My options were following Commander Jaymes’ orders, going to Ovira with Terren’s party, or spending my life in prison. Only one of those gave me the chance for revenge and to help win this war.
“Calumny!” Shara squeaked at Swenn’s squire. “Don’t believe the calumny!”
Judging by the expression on the squire’s face, he didn’t understand her. Then he was gone.
“Perhaps that wasn’t the best time to show off your vocabulary,” I said.
She sighed. “How are we going to…” Her eyes shifted to Henry. “Never mind,” she added, irritated that she couldn’t speak about Swenn in front of the giant.
“I know.”
She rose to her toes and cupped her hands around my ear. “Meet me in my room after he falls asleep.”
The sensual tone of her whispered invitation made something stir in my chest. But this wasn’t a romantic invitation, I reminded myself.
With night closing in, I decided a bath would do nicely, then I could retire to bed. If sleep didn’t elude me tonight, I could rest while waiting for Henry to doze off. Shara and I might need an hour or two to figure out our plan. Whatever sleep I could get before I met her would help me think.
“I’m going to visit Laney,” Shara said.
We said our goodbyes, and I started toward the bathing quarters. Gods, is Henry even going to let me bathe alone?
He didn’t.
I had the better part of an hour to myself in my room before Henry tried the door without knocking. I hadn’t bothered locking it.
“So you’re going to spend the entire night in here?”
“Yes,” he whistled.
“You must be annoyed at Swenn for making you sleep in a chair.”
He pointed at my bed.
“You can’t be serious.”
He folded his arms as he whistled again, “Yes.”
Sure enough, as I slid beneath my covers, Henry invited himself onto the other side of the bed. I normally slept in just my undershorts, but I would be leaving my room after he fell asleep, so I left my shirt on. Henry didn’t, though. Gods, the man had so much muscle but equally as much blubber. I figured he must weigh close to five out of the six blocks I’d lifted earlier today. It would be a struggle just to get him off my bed.
“I tend to thrash in my sleep, so I hope you’re a deep sleeper.” I didn’t really thrash.
“Yes.”
Good. Knowing I was about to see Shara, and in private, made it easy to forget all of my worries. Since I’d left Lanhine, my heart had been preoccupied with pain and the burden of my troubles, but now it finally allowed me to feel for Shara. And what I felt consumed my entire body every time I thought about her.
CHAPTER SIX
I awoke sometime during the night feeling as if I’d slept an hour, maybe two. Henry’s loud breathing was on the verge of snoring but not quite there. I carefully freed my legs from the sheets and brought my feet over the bed. By the time I neared the door, Henry’s breathing hadn’t changed.
I spent a full minute just turning the doorknob, opening the door, stepping through, and closing it behind me. Then I hurried across the cold stone hallway, feeling like a mouse out of his hole as my bare feet pattered along the cold floor.
Shara had left her door unlocked for me. My stomach felt light with nervous excitement as I climbed into bed beside her. I put my arm over her, gently placing my hand on her stomach and moving in to close the distance between us.
“Mmm.” Shara stirred. “Neeko?”
“Yes.”
She put her hand on top of mine. “I wish we could just fall asleep like this and not have to worry about Swenn.”
“Me, too.”
She patted my arm and sat up. “But it’s time to plot.”
I came up with her. Suddenly it was no longer a question of whether I would kiss her but when. Her voice and her scent…my heart beat as though I’d sprinted across the castle to get to her room.
“I’ve been thinking that—”
I interrupted her with a soft kiss to her cheek, holding my lips there and cupping the other side of her face with my hand. I could hear her swallow air as I finished the kiss. She turned to face me.
“Are you thanking me for something?”
“No.” I leaned toward her lips.
She froze, giving me no sign whether she would kiss me back. I paused when my lips couldn’t get any closer without touching hers, giving her a chance to say something, to do something. Her mouth opened slightly, welcoming me.
A feeling of utmost satisfaction—warm and chilling at the same time—came over me as our lips met. The second kiss followed instantly, then a third, then a fourth, our passion igniting. I laid her flat and hovered over her. She took my face in her hands as we shared another flurry of kisses.
Suddenly, she let go of my face and put her hands against my chest. “Wait, Neeko, wait, wait, wait.”
Shame rushed over my entire body. I buried my face in my pillow. “I thought you might feel the same way.”
“I, but I…wait, just wait, Neeko.” I heard the sheets rustle as she turned toward me. I dislodged my face from the pillow just enough to squint at her with one eye. Her beauty only amplified my pain.
“Should we just pretend that didn’t happen?” I asked.
“No.”
So she was going to make this even more difficult.
“Help me understand something,” she said. “Why tonight out of all the time we’ve spent together? Are you itching for an intimate romp and thought, hey, Shara might be interested?”
Oh gods, that was the impression I gave? Panic moved my arm on its own, grabbing her hand.
“No, Shara. Definitely not.”
“Then what? Because I…” She squeezed my hand back. “I’m not sure if you’re aware how easily you could hurt me. I feel as fragile as Laney around you.”
“I would never hurt you.”
She moved her hand up my arm. “Did I change your mind somehow?”
“Change my mind? No. I’ve felt this way for a long time.”
“You…you have?”
“Yes.”
“Oh.”
We were silent for a while.
“I had no idea,” she sai
d. “Then why wait until now to show me?”
“I suppose it’s because I’m finally in the right place—I’ve finally given myself the chance to feel it. Right here, right now, you and me. It’s just…right. Or maybe it’s just that I can’t hold it in any longer.”
She smiled. I brushed the hair away from her forehead, running my nails lightly down her temple. She closed her eyes, taking a deep breath.
“You are incomparably beautiful.”
Her eyes popped open and her smile faded. “I’m sure that’s not an exaggeration,” she said with heavy sarcasm.
“How can you not see your own beauty?”
She chuckled and burst into rhyme. “Oh, why don’t I start at the top?” She pointed. “My hair is tangled and looks like a mop. My face is certainly not blessed. My grandmother deserves no thanks for my chest. The coarseness of my hands makes me stressed. And have you even seen how I’m often dressed? My—”
I stopped her with a hand to her cheek. “You’re perfect.”
“No, Neeko, that’s you.”
I sputtered out air to show what I thought of that.
“How can you not see your own beauty?” she mocked me with a low voice.
I kissed her, a long, slow kiss.
The moment I parted, I noticed her longing glance. The rest of the world disappeared as I leaned back down and she took my face in her hands.
“Do you know why you’re perfect?” I asked, our noses rubbing.
“Tell me.”
“Because you’re you. All of those faults you described are just who you are. And they aren’t faults to me.”
“Something is wrong with you to think they aren’t faults.”
“Maybe. But I don’t care.”
She gave one quick laugh. I leaned in and we settled into a dance of our lips.
When I finally drew back, she didn’t have the same longing look as before. Her eyes showed pain.
