A hawk or an eagle cried in the sky drawing her eyes heavenward. At this moment, she felt as free as that bird.
“He's asleep?” Ryan lifted the heavy mink blanket in invitation. Bethanie dropped her robe and slid out of her sleep shirt before she tucked herself into his side. He dropped the blanket over them as he rolled on top of her.
Her arms snaked around his neck, and she smiled. “Your fault. You got him all wound up.”
“What?” He reared back and laughed, “I won that game, fair and square.”
“You cannot win Trivial Pursuit unless you land on the center circle and answer the question correctly.”
“I did!”
“You didn't.” She laughed and imitated his deep voice, “The answer is right because I said so, and it's bedtime.”
Okay, so maybe he was in a hurry to be alone with her tonight. Bethanie had been teasing him all day with touches and shy looks when Ethan wasn't in the room. The woman had driven him insane. He couldn't get enough of her and hated that they couldn't touch when Ethan was around. It felt… wrong.
He shrugged off the truth and settled between her legs. “Well, dammit, why don't I get to play the adult card? You do it all the time.”
She tugged him down and threaded her hands through his hair. “You can play adult with me anytime.”
“Yeah?” He dipped down and ran his nose up her neck, stopping to tenderly bite her earlobe. She shuddered under him. “You like that.”
It was a statement, not a question. They'd been sneaking time together after Ethan fell asleep for over three weeks now. He'd cataloged her body's responses to his touches. He knew how to drive her to the brink within minutes or how to churn a slow, deep burn within her. She wasn't the type to take the lead, but she'd follow him, trust him, and fucking make him combust with her reactions.
He rolled and brought her on top. Her eyes widened in surprise. “What are you doing?”
“We're going to do something different tonight.”
“We are?”
“Mmm hmmm.” He lifted his hips and ground against her core.
“What do you want me to do?” Her blue eyes were heavy with desire. She pulled her bottom lip into her mouth when he rolled his hips again.
“Scoot up.” She moved slightly, and he shook his head. “Hands on the headboard, scoot up over my face.”
“What?” Those eyes popped wide open.
“Trust me. I'll make it good for you.”
“But...”
“If you don't like it, tell me, but I think you'll be happy you tried.” He ran his hands up and down her back, easing the stiffness that had invaded her once languid body.
She lifted her eyes to the headboard and looked back at him. “Are you sure?”
“Believe me, I'm sure. I want to taste you. I've wanted to since that first night.” His hands ran up her back, and he pressed her down to his lips. He did his best to make her forget her reservations, to melt her hesitation, and abolish her doubts.
She pulled away, panting in fresh air. Her lips were puffy, wet, and rose-colored as she stared down at him. But there was concern in her eyes. She was vulnerable, so fucking exposed, and she was trusting him. Even though that mother-fucking bastard had used her, he’d never shown her the pleasures her body could enjoy. Ryan had made it his mission to teach her what intimacy between a man and a woman could be. The emotional connection between them, fuck, it made it sweeter. Hotter and so fucking addictive.
Slowly she reached up to the headboard and inched forward until he lifted one of her knees and slid his arm through her legs. She lifted the other, and he moved his shoulders, so her knees were on either side of his head.
A soft gasp fell from her when he turned and kissed the inside of her thigh. Her legs trembled. “Beautiful. You are so fucking beautiful, Bethanie.”
“I…” Her words were cut off when he licked the inside of her thigh.
She was an open blossom in front of him. So close and so damn perfect. “Don’t. Don’t tell me you’re not. You are. To me, you are.” And he meant every fucking word. Damn him to hell for eternity, he meant Every. Fucking. Word.
With his arms wrapped around her thighs, he pulled her down to him. He kissed the inside of her thigh again before inching up her hot skin. Her trembling became more noticeable as he got closer.
“Ryan…”
He hummed his response. Words were not possible at the moment. He moved his hands and spread her sex with his fingertips before he licked a strip through her and paid particular attention to the hard nub at the top of her cleft.
She trembled against his mouth. “Oh! God, that's... Oh, do that again.”
He smiled and slid his lips against her skin. “Believe me, I wasn't going to stop.” He adjusted his arms and opened her.
“Ryan! This is… oh, yes, there, please… please…”
He opened his eyes. Her head had lolled forward, her eyes were closed, but her expression, hell, she was nearing heaven, and he was going to be the one to get her there. It took all the willpower he possessed to go slowly. What he wanted to do was lollipop her with three licks and get straight to the candy center, but he also wanted her to enjoy the buildup, and understand how good he could make her feel. He fucking needed her to explode so he could taste her. His cock throbbed, hard as a fucking diamond and weeping with need, but he didn’t care. This moment, this was for her.
He knew exactly when his slow licks and playful teasing flicks weren't enough. Bethanie’s hand found his hair and her fist curled tight as she rocked down onto his mouth with a low moan. It was the most wonderful sound he’d ever heard.
Ryan pulled her even closer and sucked her clit into his mouth. She bucked against him. An anguished sound of delight moved through the room. Okay, that was the most wonderful sound he’d ever heard.
He redoubled his efforts, and she shattered over him. He feasted on her, consumed her, and he fucking loved it. When she slumped over him, he helped her down his body, rolled her over and entered her, slowly easing in, making her give way to his size. She was tight, so fucking tight, and she was perfect.
He rested his head on her shoulder when he was balls deep. He was so worked up, he'd lose control if he moved.
Her hands trailed down his back, and she dug her nails into his ass. “Finish, I know you want to.”
He groaned and moved. It took six strokes for the white-hot pool at the base of his balls to explode through him. His body arched hard against her, and he rode out his orgasm. He'd climaxed so violently his arms shook with the effort to keep himself from suffocating her with his weight.
“That was wonderful.” She placed a tender kiss on the inside of his bicep.
He shivered at the warmth of her lips and opened his eyes. He lifted his head so he could see her. “Just for the record, from my point of view, that was better than wonderful.” He pulled out of her and rolled to the side, tucking her into him as he dropped.
“What's the word for better than wonderful?” she asked as she burrowed into his side and propped her head up on his shoulder.
“Stupendous?”
She countered with a laugh, “Stellar?”
“Phenomenal.”
“Spectacular.”
Ryan turned and adjusted her on his arm so he could see her. “Perfect. What we just did? That was perfect.”
Her eyes searched his face. He saw the doubt, the fear, the trepidation, and knew there was nothing he could do to alleviate any of it.
He tucked her into his side. Her sigh of contentment sent a white-hot knife of guilt through his soul. This beautiful, gentle woman had risked her life to remove herself and her son from danger. And where had she ended up? Sleeping with a minion of Satan, a killer of unequaled skill. He was an assassin. A paid harbinger of death. Did the abominations he hunted deserve to be expunged from the face of the earth? Hell, yes. Did that make him any less of a monster? Not in the slightest.
How could he ask her to stay with him an
d put her life and Ethan’s at risk? He couldn’t, and what’s more, he wouldn’t. When Guardian cleared the situation up, and he had no doubt they would, Bethanie and Ethan would have a chance at a good life. Not isolation on top of a mountain with a soul damned to burn in hell for eternity. There was no way he could change his past. What he was. Fuck him, he wished he could, but wishes were just like dreams—apparitions that disappeared in the harsh light of day.
There was nothing he could do except treat her like the treasure she was and try, somehow, let her know what a grave impact she was making in his life. A tall order when he had zero to offer her.
“I think I'm in trouble.” She reached up with her hand and cupped his cheek.
He grabbed her hand and kissed the palm. It was all he could do. He had no words. No way of responding. He didn't know what was happening between them. He’d never felt the emotions she engendered, and was hard up to identify them. He had no direction, no idea where to go with this. Finally, he told her the truth. “I'm lost.”
She closed her eyes and whispered, “We both are.”
“Are you ready?” Ryan snugged on his gloves.
“Yes, sir.” Ethan patted his coat pockets.
“Checklist run down.” Ryan put his hands on his hips. “Flint and steel.”
Ethan patted the leg of his snow pants. “Check.”
“Knife?”
“Check.” The boy patted the other leg of his pants.
“Fuel?”
“Two!” The boy held up two protein bars and then shoved them into his coat pocket.
“And why do we make sure we have these items when we go out?”
“Because with the flint and steel I can make a fire. The knife I can use to cut small branches that won't break. I can drink melted snow to stay alive, but the body needs fuel after...” His face scrunched in concentration... “I don't remember the exact amount of time, but I need to eat to keep my body going.”
“Right.”
“What's in our packs?”
“Emergency blanket, hatchet, string, a water bottle and a plastic bag with matches and kindling.”
“Do we need any of that to survive?”
“Nope, but it is good to have. Plus, we are taking the sleeping bags because we are staying out all night.”
“Why are we staying out all night?”
Ethan grinned. “Because it’s my birthday tomorrow.”
“Perfect. Let's go.”
Ethan and Dog shot out the door like their tails were on fire, the smaller version of Ryan's pack bouncing on Ethan's back. “We'll be back a couple hours after sun up. I'll teach him how to tend a fire through the night, and I want him to set up a shelter.” Ryan stepped over to her and gathered her in his arms.
“He loves going out with you. Thank you for offering an overnight trip as his birthday present.” She pushed up on her toes and initiated the kiss.
He palmed her delicious ass and lifted her. She laughed and wrapped her legs around his waist. “We aren't going far.” He lowered for another kiss. He couldn't get enough of her taste on his lips.
“Ryan! Come on!” Ethan's shout pulled them apart. Bethanie dropped her legs, and he lowered her to the ground.
She slid her hands across his down-filled coat. “Go. I have to pull down his next assignment and submit this week's grades. I want to do that before it starts to snow again. I don't like going up and fiddling with the antenna.”
“It isn't supposed to snow until tonight, and only a couple inches is forecast.” Ryan grabbed a knit cap off the hook by the door. “Are you sure you don't want me to bring up the firewood?”
“No, I like the exercise, and the sled you two built makes it easier. Go. I have a birthday cake to make, and you promised snow ice cream.”
“Yeah, but we are eating that early. Remember what happened last time.” He winked at her, and she blushed. “Seriously, don't overdo it. You know what to do if you need me.”
“Blow the whistle and keep blowing it until Dog hears me. Believe me, I've got this. Now go before I have a wet dog and wound up young man back in the house.”
“Bossy little thing, aren't you?” He bent down once again to kiss her.
She murmured, “Damn straight,” before he captured her lips.
“Mom, you said a bad word.” Ethan's voice ripped them apart. “Stop kissing her and c'mon, Ryan.”
“What if I want to keep kissing her?”
“That's just gross, and it’s my birthday tomorrow, so I get to say! Let's go!”
Ryan winked at Bethanie and followed Ethan out the door.
They walked down the mountainside side by side. Ryan kept an eye out for the perfect place to build a shelter.
“How do you do that?” Ethan pointed behind them.
“Do what?”
“See, here is where I walked, but I can't see where you are walking.”
Oh. “That is from years of practice. See the pine straw?” Ryan pointed ahead of them.
“Uh huh.”
“I step on that; it shields my footprint. Then I look for the next step. It's automatic now, I've been doing it for so long.” He glanced back to his trail. He could pick out his footsteps; he hadn't been mindful of the route, but he could see why Ethan saw the difference.
“Oh.” He watched as Ethan cast around and took an exaggerated step to reach a rock. He stepped on it and smiled back at Ryan. “Like this?”
“That's right but do me a favor and don't break an ankle or anything. Take smaller steps. You won't always have a place to put your foot that won't leave a print, and that's okay. Besides, your mom would kill me if you got hurt.”
Ethan laughed and hopped onto a fallen tree. He used it as a balance beam, his arms held out to his side as he walked. “Mom wouldn't kill you.”
“I don't know, kid. She's pretty tough.” Ryan stepped over the balance beam tree and kept going. He heard Ethan jogging behind him to catch up.
“She likes you.”
“Yeah, you think?”
“Well, yeah, she kisses you.” He made gagging sounds, and Ryan chuckled at his antics. “Are you going to marry her?”
Whoa. “Say what, now?”
“Marry her. Are you going to marry my mom?”
Well, fuck, how in the hell was he supposed to answer that? “Ah... we...”
“Look!” Ethan whispered and pointed ahead and to the right of them.
A deer lifted its head and sniffed the air. They were upwind, so she didn't catch their scent. Ryan glanced to the sky and thanked the cosmos for the distraction. They watched the doe for about five minutes before something spooked her, and she crashed through the woods in bounding leaps.
“She was neat.”
“She was.”
“What scared her?”
“Probably something that was stalking her.” Could have been Dog, but he doubted it. Dog had been eating leftovers lately. Spoiled animal.
“Would it kill her?”
“If it was hungry enough, sure.”
“That's not right.” Ethan glanced back over his shoulder to where the animal had bolted.
Ryan debated for about ten seconds before he slung off his pack and sat on it. “Take a load off, Bud, I need to have a talk with you.”
Ethan was a quick study. He dropped his smaller pack, and ass planted the same way Ryan had. He positioned himself in the exact same manner.
“Okay, this is the gist of nature, kiddo. Animals, all animals including humans, live in a hierarchy. The top of the food chain feeds on the bottom of the food chain. It is a fact of life. Huge whales in the ocean scoop up whole schools of fish to eat. It takes a lot to keep those big bodies going. In the forest, there are things called apex predators. They feed on animals that are smaller, weaker or can't defend themselves.”
“Like the deer?”
“Just like that. A wolf, cougar, bear, bobcat or even man would look at her and see food, a means to exist.”
Ethan stared at him wi
th that concentrated narrow gaze for a while. “So, they kill for food.”
“Yup.”
“Humans kill, but not always for food.” Ethan's voice got small. “Wars and stuff.”
Ryan waited until he looked up and nodded. “It has been my experience that there are three reasons animals kill.”
“Three?”
“First reason animals kill is to survive.”
“They hunt for food.”
“Exactly. That is survival. There are other reasons, though. If a wolf or a coyote contracted rabies, and they were spreading that disease by attacking you or the people you love, what would you do?” Ryan's mind flashed to the twenty-seven bastards he'd put down. They no longer spread their strain of deadly epidemiology.
“Stop them.”
“Correct. That is the second reason. Animals kill to defend themselves, their young or even their pack.”
The boy nodded his understanding. “What’s the third reason?
“Believe it or not, some animals kill just to protect their territory.”
“Like how?”
“For instance, lions will kill hyenas, because they compete for the same food. But the Lions won’t necessarily eat them. In the lion's case, they are claiming their territory and eliminating threats to their existence.” Like drug dealers, cartels, mobs and other assorted scum at the bottom of humanity.
“So, they don't want the hyenas to take their food.”
“Correct. Lions will kill not only for food, not only to defend themselves or others against an attack, but to stake a claim to their territory.”
“Huh. It sucks for those weaker animals who can't fight back. They're all just going to die.”
Not if he could help it. “Not true. There aren't a lot of apex predators in the world. Most of the wildlife around here will die of old age or natural causes. Apex predators generally go for the weak or the sick and lame. They are easier to catch.” Manipulate, blackmail, torture, enslave. “Anyway, when the apex predators take out the weak ones, they make the herd stronger because only the strongest survive. Nature has a way of taking care of its own.”
Lycos (Guardian Security Shadow World Book 3) Page 15
