by Zara Chase
The bonus was a gift from heaven, so she wouldn’t waste it by resting for long. Axel said he’d sent out for something to eat, and she was hungry—in all senses of the word. She didn’t know when she’d changed into a sex maniac, nor did she much care. Better late than never, and she had lost time to make up for.
Yawning, she fell out of bed, pulled an oversized T-shirt over her nakedness, and wandered toward the kitchen. Slightly raised voices—Riley’s and Axel’s slightly raised voices—caused her to pause in the passageway. What were they arguing about? She didn’t want any discord on their final day together. Curiosity and fear mingled inside her as she heard her name mentioned, causing her to shamelessly eavesdrop.
“Admit it, buddy,” Axel said. “She’s got to you, just like she has me.”
“You think?” Riley replied caustically.
“I know it, and so do you. The question is, what do you plan to do about it?”
“What can I do?”
“Oh, for God’s sake!”
“Axel, do what you gotta do. If you want Maddie then go for it. If she’s willing to move to Chesapeake then that’ll be cool. You and I can still run our business there, and I can get Raoul to assign me another partner.”
“Ain’t gonna happen, buddy.”
“Now who’s got hang-ups?”
Maddie leaned against the wall, listening to their argument going back and forth like a fast-moving tennis ball. Her heart lifted and she felt more empowered with each word they spoke. She fallen deeply and passionately in love with both of them but figured her feelings weren’t reciprocated so was willing to behave like a grown-up and let them go without making a fuss. Now she knew differently, and she was damned if the best thing that had ever happened to her would slip through her fingers. She was through with living her life on other people’s terms. It was time to stand up for what she wanted.
She waited until Riley embarked on a long list of reasons why they needed to get the hell out of Dodge and then stepped into the room. Both men abruptly stopped yelling and faced her with sheepish expressions.
“Er, sorry,” Riley said. “We didn’t know you were there.”
“Obviously.”
She sauntered up to the breakfast bar and took the stool opposite theirs. They were clearly embarrassed, but she noticed both of them checking out her thighs as she sat down and her T-shirt rode up. The gesture gave her confidence, but she didn’t speak, waiting for one of them to say something first. When they didn’t, she took matters into her own hands.
“You know, I’ve heard SEALs described as many things,” she said in a conversational tone, “but never cowards.”
Both men tensed. “Wadda you mean?” Riley asked.
“What I said. You’re a coward, Riley Maddox, and so are you, Axel Cameron.”
“Careful,” Riley warned.
“Why? Does the truth hurt? There’s something you want, which would be me for what I just overheard, but you’re scared to go for it in case you get hurt.” She shrugged. “Sounds pretty cowardly to me.”
“You don’t understand.”
“Really? What I understand is that Axel had more responsibility thrust upon him than any sixteen-year-old should ever have to shoulder. At a time when he should have been smoking pot, cutting classes, and chasing girls, he was holding down two jobs and praying the authorities wouldn’t catch him caring for his siblings and break the family up.” She looked at Axel and her voice softened. “That’s enough to put anyone off commitment for life. I understand that. But just because you love someone and want to commit to them, it doesn’t mean your freedom has to be curtailed. If we were together, no way would I let you stop working for Raoul.”
“But the danger?”
“Life’s full of dangers. Sometimes you just have to take a chance if there’s something you want badly enough.” She turned to face Riley. “And as for you. Where to start? You loved your wife, I get that bit, really I do, and she was taken from you. That sucks, but so does life. Given what you do for a living, you ought to know that better than most people. Do you really think Stella wouldn’t want you to be happy again?”
Riley looked too stunned to speak. “The pain,” he muttered. “I couldn’t go through that again. I couldn’t risk you getting drawn into all our shit.”
“So you’d deny yourself?”
“You don’t understand.”
Maddie lost it at that point. Too agitated to remain passive, she stood up and got right in his face. “Is that right? You think I haven’t had my share of hardships? You think commitment doesn’t scare the heck out of me as well?” She shook her head. “You guys kept asking me about my past, and I wouldn’t tell you. Well, I’m ready to tell you now. You know what it’s like being an army brat, being moved from place to place, never having time to make proper friends before you move on.” Both men’s gazes were locked on her face and they nodded in unison. “My parents became my best friends because I didn’t really have anyone else. I loved them both but was closer to my dad and did everything in my power to make him proud of me.”
“I’m sure he was,” Axel said quietly.
“And I’m sure of no such thing. He was married to my mother and then the army in that order. There wasn’t room for anyone else in his life.”
“But I thought—” Riley shook his head. “I thought you and he were close.”
“We became closer these last few years, after Mom passed and he left the army. Before that, everything I tried to do to win his approval was never good enough. If I got an A in a test, it ought to have been an A-plus. If I played tennis and got to a final, I ought to have won, and…well, you get the picture.”
“He was an overachiever,” Riley said.
“And then some. I never stopped trying to win his approval and never quite managed it. That’s why, when he tried to get me together with a young captain he approved of, I took up with the guy, even though I didn’t like him much.” She paused. “It was the first and only time I saw the approval in his eye that I so craved.”
“What happened to the captain?” Riley asked, scowling.
“Before or after he put me in the hospital for the third time?”
Both men leapt from their seats. “He abused you?” Axel asked, murder in his eyes.
“Yeah, Dad’s perfect officer was a bully and a tyrant but knew how to hide it and turn on the charm when there was someone he wanted to impress and who could help his career, like my dad.”
“How long did you stay with him?” Riley asked, clenching his fists. “And more to the point, why did you?”
“Almost a year, and I stayed, obviously, to get that parental approval I craved. Besides, he was always sorry when he hit me. It would never happen again.”
Riley glowered at the wall. “That’s what they all say.”
“And you let us spank you?” Axel frowned. “Didn’t it freak you out?”
“Did I appear freaked?”
“Well no, but—”
“What we did was consensual. For mutual pleasure. There’s a huge difference.” She paused. “Besides, what would you have done if you’d known?”
“Not what we did, that’s for sure,” Riley said.
“Precisely why I didn’t tell you. I wanted to try what you were offering.”
“Okay,” Riley said. “We’ll talk about that later. Tell me more about your lousy captain.”
“Not much to tell. In the end I called a halt and moved to New York, where I could lose myself in the city. I’d accepted by then that I’d never do anything to win Dad’s approval and that I’d just have to get over it.” She paused. “But then this. At least I managed to get to the bottom of the business at the center, with your help.”
“Honey,” Riley said, running a hand through his hair.
“Don’t you dare ‘honey’ me!” She stood directly in front of him, hands on hips, like a prize fighter. “I’m prepared to put all that crap behind me and make a commitment. Does the prospect scare me
? Bet your life it does, but there are no guarantees in this world, and what’s more, it ain’t a dress rehearsal. Far as I know, we only get one shot at it.” She glanced at Axel. “And being with you guys has brought me truly alive. It’s made me want to take a chance again, but if you’re too lily-livered to risk it, then—”
“You have a life and career in New York,” Riley said, a fledgling smile breaking through his stern expression.
“Don’t they have houses that need makeovers up there?”
“Only about a thousand of them,” Axel replied, taking her hand.
“And you could start with ours,” Riley said, taking her other hand and raising it to his lips. “Oh, and while I think of it, I have something for you.”
He picked up a package from the table and handed it to her. Maddie opened it and gasped.
“My crystals,” she said. “You had them collected and restrung.”
Axel shrugged. “As many as we could find. You said they had sentimental value.”
“How can I ever thank you?”
“Why don’t we spend the next few decades trying to decide,” Riley said, swooping in for a kiss. Maddie held him off.
“What are you saying?” she asked.
“I’m trying to say that you’re right. It’s time to make a commitment. And just so that you know, we’re not cowards. We just hadn’t found the right woman to love, and share.” Riley’s eyes glowed like molten lava as he concentrated them on her face. “Now we have and it’s time to start living again.”
Maddie flashed a radiant smile and hugged each of them in turn. “I love you both, too,” she said, finally allowing herself to be kissed.
Epilogue
“Hot damn, I don’t believe it.” Raoul leaned back in his chair and stared at his computer screen.
“What don’t you believe?” Zeke asked.
“Come see for yourself.”
Zeke leaned over Raoul’s shoulder and read the e-mail that Raoul didn’t believe.
“Riley and Axel have hooked up with Maddie McGuire.” Zeke shook his head. “Now I really do believe in miracles.”
“I thought those two were an emotion-free zone.”
Zeke shot him a look. “Takes one to know one.”
“Don’t go there!”
“Just sayin’.” Zeke’s smile faded. “But you ought to follow their example and at least think about it, buddy. Can’t go on living in the past forever.”
“Why not? You do.”
“Only to keep you company.”
“I’m glad the guys have found someone,” Raoul said, not wanting to go where Zeke was trying to take this conversation. “And they still wanna work with us. That’s good. They’d be tough to replace.”
“They did well down there, sorting out that drugs scam. I’m surprised it hasn’t hit the news though, a big scandal like that.”
“A lot of people have good reason to keep it quiet, including the military, seeing as how one of their own was involved. You know how good they are at keeping these things in-house.”
Zeke rolled his eyes. “Yeah, don’t I just.”
Raoul swung his feet off his desk and stood up. “Anyway, perhaps we’ll take a weekend at Chesapeake once the guys are settled, and live the good life vicariously.”
Zeke chuckled. “If I didn’t know better, I’d say you were jealous.”
“Good job you know better then.”
“Yeah.” Zeke sighed as he watched Raoul leave the room. “Ain’t it just.”
THE END
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Zara Chase is a British author who spends a lot of her time travelling the world. Being a gypsy provides her with ample opportunities to scope out exotic locations for her stories. She likes to involve her heroines in her erotic novels in all sorts of dangerous situations—and not only with the hunky heroes whom they encounter along the way. Murder, blackmail, kidnapping, and fraud—to name just a few of life’s more common crimes—make frequent appearances in her books, adding pace and excitement to her racy stories.
Zara is an animal lover who enjoys keeping fit and is on a one-woman mission to keep the wine industry ahead of the recession.
www.zarachase.com
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