“You have to ask?”
“Yes.”
“I’m dying.” I could speak openly because Pam was off to the restroom as a result of all the beer.
“Not literally, I hope.”
“No, it just seems that way.”
“How would you like some company this weekend?”
“Seriously?”
“Yes. You think Pam would mind?”
“No. I’ve been good. She owes me after Ireland anyway.”
“Well, I’ll try to make it worth her while too. I imagine neither of you has gotten a good night’s sleep on trains, friend’s floors and lumpy pension mattresses. How about I put you both up at a nice hotel for a change? You think you might be able to sell it to Pam that way?”
“You don’t have to do that. She would love to see you as well without the bribe.”
“I’m doing it anyway. Aren’t you in Berlin this weekend?”
“Yes.” I was certain he had my entire trip memorized.
“I have an early call Saturday morning that’s not long and Sunday off. I can be there by the evening on Saturday and would have until the next evening. I wish it could be more than twenty-four hours, but it’s the best I can do.”
“I’ll take every minute you’ve got. I can’t wait.”
“Let me make arrangements and I’ll ring you back.”
Soon after, Will called again with the details. He arranged for us to stay both Friday and Saturday night at the Ritz Carlton in Berlin. He must have also booked Thursday night because we would be able to check in early Friday morning after our train arrived from Munich. Pam and I would have our own rooms. Will would meet us at the hotel at about 6:30 Saturday evening and would stay until just before 6 p.m. on Sunday.
Upon arrival at the train station for the overnight train to Berlin, I sorted through my paperwork and called to cancel the small hotel that I had booked in Berlin.
Chapter Thirty-Two
When we entered the elegant Ritz Carlton in Berlin, we definitely stood out, underdressed and disheveled as we were from the long train ride. We checked into the hotel to find out that Will had arranged for suites for each of us and massage appointments for that morning and Saturday morning.
Overboard as usual.
Pam and I decided to rest on our own for a while, shower, and meet up at the spa at eleven for our massages. I entered my room to find breakfast waiting for me and I imagined that Pam did too. Before tackling breakfast, I looked around the large suite decorated in tasteful furnishings with navy and gold fabrics. It also was located on one of the highest floors of the tower and, therefore, had a breathtaking view of Berlin.
It was still pretty early in the morning and, although I didn’t know whether Will had an early call or late call that morning, I texted him.
“You did 2 much as usual. Thx. This is wonderful. Can’t w8 to share it w/u. ILY. C u tomorrow.”
Will must have been awake because he texted back, “I keep telling u I could never do 2 much. ILY. I can’t w8 2 c u 2.”
I picked a little at the fruit included with my breakfast and decided to take a bath in the white marble spa tub. After the bath, I ate a little more breakfast and napped briefly before my eleven o’clock massage appointment. I never was able to sleep too well on the trains and I wanted to be rested for my night with Will.
Pam and I really needed the massages. I could feel the knots that had formed due to our uncomfortable travel arrangements. Afterward, I was ready for another nap, but Pam and I decided to try to get some sightseeing in during the afternoon. After showering, we visited one of the largest beer gardens in Berlin for lunch and then headed over to the Checkpoint Charlie Museum and to wander around traces of the old Berlin Wall.
We tried to do a German version of a pub crawl that night, but we were both too tired to stay up very late and the beer was too filling to get too tipsy. We ended up back at the room before midnight.
The next day provided another round of massages, and we visited the Charlottenburg Palace and the Pergamon Museum.
Before I knew it, it was time to return to the hotel to meet Will. Pam decided that she wanted to do some shopping. We agreed to meet around eight for dinner. That would give me an hour-and-a-half alone with Will. It would have to be enough.
I returned to the room and took another long bath. When I was finished, I fixed my hair and makeup, brushed my teeth and put on one of the plush white hotel robes. I didn’t have long to wait before I heard Will entering the suite. I ran to the door and starting kissing him before he could even put his bag down. There were no words as I pulled him into the bedroom, dropping his bag, his clothes and my robe along the way.
As Will and I were curled up in each other afterward, I was wishing that we had more time together before meeting up with Pam. I was regretting having made dinner plans, but knew that I couldn’t abandon Pam during our trip and on a Saturday night no less. Begrudgingly, Will and I both got up and ready, knowing that we would return to the hotel in a few hours for a long night together.
Talking to Pam on the phone, we decided to have dinner at one of the hotel restaurants and, afterward, to go to a club Pam had heard about. I realized that this was going to cut into my nighttime plans with Will, but I agreed as Pam sounded excited to check it out.
I brought one dress suitable for going dancing. It was colorful, for a change, and pretty short. Thankfully, my fake tan on my legs had not come off during the massage and the extra coat I put on afterward had sunk in.
Will had never seen me dress this way so when he saw me, his eyes went wide.
“Wow. Why haven’t you worn that before?”
“We’ve never gone to a club before.”
“But you planned on going to a club during your trip?”
“I thought it was a distinct possibility.”
“Without me?”
I looked sheepish. “Yes.”
“Have you been to one yet?”
“No.”
“Good.” He sighed with relief.
“Why?” I was confused.
“Because you’re beyond gorgeous and I keep thinking you’ll go out and meet someone who’s less trouble than I am.”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“Yes, you do. If you had a normal boyfriend with a normal job, he wouldn’t leave you for weeks at a time to shoot films or for promotional tours. He wouldn’t cause you to be stalked by paparazzi and have your picture plastered all over the tabloids.”
I countered, “Well, I keep worrying that you’ll wake up and realize that I’m ordinary and that worrying about me and trying to maintain my privacy will cause you to think I’m too much trouble.”
“Won’t happen.”
“Same here. I love you. You shouldn’t worry about my meeting anyone else. Other men don’t exist for me anymore, at least not in that way. I can’t imagine being with anyone else. Ever.”
Oh, boy! What did I just do? I started to feel sick. I said way too much. I’m going to scare him away. We’ve only been dating less than five months and I’m already talking about forever. If I could have kicked myself, I would have at that moment. Instead, I pretended to busy myself with getting ready and ran off to the bathroom. I was afraid of his response. I didn’t want to see the terror in his eyes as he imagined me planning marriage and children with him.
Will followed me, turned me around and held my chin up so I would look into his eyes. “Is that true?”
I tried to look down, but couldn’t. “Yes.” I said quietly.
Will didn’t say anything, but pulled me close and held me.
Now I had done it. I had ruined things. Will didn’t say that he felt the same way and how could he? I’m just me and, anyway, it’s too soon. I wanted to get out of there and move beyond that horrifically awkward moment so that I didn’t have to hear that he wasn’t in the same place as me when it came to our relationship. I pulled away.
“Pam will be waiting for us,” I
said trying not to sound awkward and failing miserably.
Will and I met Pam in the least formal of the restaurants in the hotel. Of course, it was still more formal than most restaurants at most hotels, even the nicer ones. Pam was animated as she informed us what she had heard about the club we were going to that night.
I was distracted and heard little of it. Pam must have noticed.
“Are you going to help me?” she asked.
“Do what?” I responded, not really listening to her.
“Be on the lookout.”
“Huh?”
“You know what I want to find here.”
Pam was being vague for Will’s benefit and it wasn’t helping. My brain was too engaged elsewhere. I had to concentrate for a moment.
I chuckled as I remembered. “Yes, I’ll be on the lookout.”
“Be on the lookout for what?” Will asked, confused by the topic of conversation.
“Can I tell him?” I asked permission in case I would embarrass her.
Pam blushed and nodded. “I guess he could help too.”
I looked over at Will, but couldn’t look him in the eye. “Pam has this fantasy of meeting someone like a character in her favorite book. It’s a World War II Spy Thriller and the bad guy, who’s really not a bad guy, just on the wrong side, is a tall, blond Prussian-type. She’s hoping to meet someone like him while we’re in Germany. Tonight is her last chance.”
“I don’t know if I can help you there, but I hope you find what you’re looking for.” He laughed, finding it funny, and probably a little ironic since he was the subject of Midnight fans’ fantasies because they thought he was the brooding romantic character he played incarnate.
We headed out to the club around ten, which was still fairly early for a club. Notwithstanding, the place was crowded and was becoming even more so as it got later. We ordered drinks and stood not far from the main dance floor, which was packed and dark with occasional colored lights pulsing overhead. The music alternated between electronic dance music, hip hop, and a blend of both. The crowd seemed to move up and down en masse as there was almost no space between the bodies. We received a few stares as people tried to adjust their eyes to the lack of light to determine whether they were actually seeing who they thought they saw. No one bothered us though.
Pam stood with her drink on the other side of me from Will. After a little while, I looked over and noticed that a guy, blond, but not all that tall, was talking to her.
“I’m going to go dance,” she screamed in my ear so that I could hear.
“What if we get separated?” I screamed back.
“Don’t worry about me. I can get myself back to the hotel. I’ll text you when I get in and call you when I get up in the morning.”
“Okay. Have fun!”
Pam smiled at me as she was led away to the dance floor.
Now it was going to be awkward. Will was holding my right hand, but remained distracted and distant. Once Pam left, however, Will put his drink down on a nearby table, took mine from my hand and placed it on the table as well, grabbed my hand and led me to the center of the dark dance floor.
Talking was definitely not going to work because the music was almost deafening. My ears were going to be pounding for a while. Dancing wasn’t really going to work either because we could hardly move as there was so little space. Staring into each other’s eyes also wasn’t going to work as it was so dark we could hardly see anything other than shapes pressed around us on all sides. Will pulled me close. We started to make out and, because of the dark and the crowd, he was able to touch me in ways that ordinarily would not have been polite in public. I got lost in it and was able to push my fears out of my head for a little while. It wasn’t too long though before our activities made us both anxious to get out of there and back to the hotel.
Our fervor died down during the taxi ride back to the hotel. Will was distracted again and I was on the quiet side as I worried over the cause of his distraction.
As we entered the suite, I decided to be brave and ask what was wrong, knowing that I wasn’t going to like the answer.
“What’s wrong, Will? You seem like you’re somewhere else.”
“I’m fine, really.” He didn’t sound convincing.
“No, you’re not. Something I said or did bothered you. What was it? Please tell me. It’s been killing me all night.”
“Nothing. I’m not ready now.” He said absently.
“Ready for what? To break up with me?”
“What?” He focused all his attention now on me and looked genuinely shocked.
“You heard me. I frightened you when I said I wouldn’t want anyone else ever, didn’t I?” I was trying not to cry and only partially succeeding.
“That’s what you think?”
“Yes. Isn’t it true?”
“You couldn’t be more wrong.” He took his right thumb and wiped away the tears that had managed to leak out.
“I don’t understand. Other than on the dance floor, you’ve been so distant after what I said earlier.”
“I’m just thinking, trying to plan.”
“What do you mean? I still don’t understand!”
“I want to do this right. Not here. Not on the spur of the moment.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Until you said what you said tonight, I don’t think I believed that you really felt the same as I do. I don’t want anyone else either. Ever. I want you, and only you, always. I want to marry you, but I don’t want to propose here, like this. I want to do it right. I love you more than anything. Can we do this when you return to England?”
That was the exact opposite of what I expected to hear and I was caught completely off guard. There was a long pause before I spoke and Will started to look concerned.
I then smiled brightly and asked, “Does this mean we’re engaged to be engaged?” I wiped my remaining tears away.
“Yes,” Will exhaled and closed his eyes, relieved.
“Can I tell you my answer?”
“Not officially.”
“Can I show you my answer?”
“Absolutely.”
We stayed up all night together until early the next morning, trying to get a good start on our forever together. Neither of us wanted the night to end. We couldn’t believe how late it was when we heard a beep from my cell phone reflecting Pam’s text at 5 a.m. informing me that she was back in her room.
Pam called at about ten-thirty and woke us up after only a few hours of sleep. We agreed to meet at Noon in the lobby to go to lunch and try to catch at least a few sights before Will had to return to England.
When we met Pam in the lobby, despite having had little sleep, Will and I both were ecstatic and it was no doubt obvious. Pam stared at us both, analyzing us.
“What’s going on?” she finally asked.
“What do you mean?” I responded.
“You two look strange today and it’s not just your normal glow from whatever it is you two were doing this morning that I can only imagine. So tell me what’s going on?”
Will responded, “Nothing. Yet.”
“Cryptic. You’re going to have to be more specific. I’m not gonna let it go. If I have to be the third wheel with you two looking all lovey-dovey at each other all day long, the least you can do is let me in on whatever it is.”
I looked at Will. “Can I?”
He nodded.
“We’re getting engaged when I return to London.”
Pam squealed and hugged us both. Various patrons in the hotel lobby stared.
I said quietly, “Okay, but you’re going to have to keep quiet about this. He hasn’t proposed officially yet.”
“I’m so happy for you.” She then thought about something for a second and added, “You two are going to be unbearable today, aren’t you?”
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“Unbearable is probably not the right word. More like nauseating.”
; “Thanks a lot.” I pretended to be hurt.
“Let’s go get some beers. I could use a little hair of the dog. Besides, we can celebrate and being a little tipsy will make it easier for me to tolerate the two of you.”
Will and I couldn’t take our eyes off each other. It was almost as if we thought that, if we did, the other would disappear and we would find that the last twenty-four hours had been a dream. Notwithstanding, we tried not to be too difficult for Pam, sneaking kisses only when she either was looking away or was, in fact, away from us.
We went out for a traditional German meal and Pam was able to have a few beers with lunch. We then went wandering around Brandenburg Gate and the Glass Dome at the Reichstag. Will had to pose for a few pictures here and there with fans, but we were left alone for most of the afternoon.
Pam decided that she would go shopping on the Ku’damm and allow us to be alone for a while before Will was to leave. She and I would double back at the hotel after Will left for the airport.
We decided to go someplace with a view, the Berliner Fernsehturm, the old East Berlin Television Tower that had a rotating restaurant at the top. When we finally got to the top, we sat alone on the same side of a window table. With glasses of champagne in front of us, we scooted our chairs close to each other and looked at the view while the restaurant spun slowly. Will held my hand in my lap.
“It’s not as good as a boat would have been, but I like the view,” Will said as he stared, not at the view out the window, but at me. He added with a leer, “I know how much you like boats.”
“I do, particularly when I’m with you.”
“Well, I’ll have to keep that in mind when you return to England.”
“I wish you didn’t have to go.”
“I know. It feels like I’m always leaving you. I hate being apart, but it will give me some time to arrange a few things.”
“Arrange? Ah, yes. You have to promise me that you won’t go overboard.”
“Oh, come on. You have to give me this one. We only do this once and I want to do it right.”
“All right, but I want it to be just you and me, okay?”
“I can agree to that.”
“Thank you.”
“I love you.”
Away From the Spotlight Page 23
