by George Moore
“We couldn’t think of taking money which belongs to others. We shall put our confidence in God. No, Evelyn, pray don’t say any more.”
But Evelyn insisted, saying she would manage in such a way that her poor people should lack nothing. “Of course they lack a great deal, but what I mean is, they’ll lack nothing they’ve been in the habit of receiving from me,” and, speaking of their unfailing patience in adversity, she said: “and their lives are always adversity.”
“Your poor people are your occupations since you left the stage?”
“You think me frivolous, or at least changeable, Reverend Mother?”
“No, indeed; no, indeed,” both nuns cried together, and Evelyn thought of what her life had been, how the new occupations which had come into it contrasted with the old — singing practice in the morning, rehearsals, performances in the evening, intrigues, jealousies; and the change seemed so wonderful that she would like to have spoken of it to the nuns, only that could not be done without speaking of Owen Asher. But there was no reason for not speaking of her stage life, the life that had drifted by. “You see, my old friends are no longer interested in me.” A look of surprise came into the nuns’ faces. “Why should they be? They are only interested in me so long as I am available to fill an engagement. And the singers who were my friends — what should I speak to them about? Not of my poor people; though, indeed, many of my friends are very good: they are very kind to each other.”
“But we mustn’t think of taking the money from you that should go to your poor people.”
“No, no; that is out of the question, dear Mother. As I have told you, I can easily let you have a hundred pounds; and as for paying off the debts of the convent — that I look upon as an obligation, as a bonne bouche, I might say. My heart is set on it.” “We can never thank you enough.”
“I don’t want to be thanked; it is all pleasure to me to do this for you. Now goodbye; I’ll write to you about the success of the concerts. You will pray that I may be a great success, won’t you? Much more depends upon your prayers than on my voice.”
Mother Philippa murmured that everything was in God’s hands.
The Prioress raised her eyes and looked at Evelyn questioningly. “Mother Philippa is quite right. Our prayers will be entirely pleasing to God; He sent you to us. Without you our convent would be broken up. We shall pray for you, Evelyn.”
II
THE LARGER PART of the stalls was taken up by Lady Ascott’s party; she had a house-party at Thornton Grange, and had brought all her friends to Edinburgh to hear Evelyn. Added to which, she had written to all the people she knew living in Edinburgh, and within reach of Edinburgh, asking them to come to the concert, pressing tickets upon them.
“But, my dear, is it really true that you have left the stage? One never heard of such a thing before. Now, why did you do this? You will tell me about it? You will come to Thornton Grange, won’t you, and spend a few days with us?”
But in Thornton Grange Evelyn would meet many of her old friends, and a slight doubt came into her eyes.
“No, I won’t hear of a refusal. You are going to Glasgow; Thornton Grange is on your way there; you can easily spend three days with us. No, no, no, Evelyn, you must come; I want to hear all about your religious scruples.”
“That is the last thing I should like to speak about. Besides, religious scruples, dear Lady Ascott—”
“Well, then, you shan’t speak about them at all; nobody will ask you about them. To tell you the truth, my dear, I don’t think my friends would understand you if you did. But you will come; that is the principal thing. Now, not another word; you mustn’t tire your voice; you have to sing again.” And Lady Ascott returned to the concert-hall for the second part of the programme.
After the concert Evelyn was handed a letter, saying that she would be expected to-morrow at Thornton Grange; the trains were as follows: if she came by this train she would be in time for tea, and if she came by the other she would be just in time for dinner.
“She’s a kind soul, and after all she has done it is difficult to refuse her.” So Evelyn sent a wire accepting the invitation…. Besides, there was no reason for refusing unless — A knock! Her manager! and he had come to tell her they had taken more money that night than on any previous night. “Perhaps Lady Ascott may have some more friends in Glasgow and will write to them,” he added as he bade her good-night.
“Three hundred pounds! Only a few of the star singers would have gathered as much money into a hall,” and to the dull sound of gold pieces she fell asleep. But the sound of gold is the sweetest tribute to the actress’s vanity, and this tribute Evelyn had missed to some extent in the preceding concerts; the others were artistic successes, but money had not flowed in, and a half-empty concert-room puts an emptiness into the heart of the concert singer that nothing else can. But the Edinburgh concert had been different; people had been more appreciative, her singing had excited more enthusiasm. Lady Ascott had brought musical people to hear her, and Evelyn awoke, thinking that she would not miss seeing Lady Ascott for anything; and while looking forward to seeing her at Thornton Grange, she thought of the money she had made for the poor nuns, and then of the money awaiting her in Glasgow…. It would be nice if by any chance Lady Ascott were persuaded to come to Glasgow for the concert, bringing her party with her. Anything was possible with Lady Ascott; she would go anywhere to hear music.
“But what an evening!” and she watched the wet country. A high wind had been blowing all day, but the storm had begun in the dusk, and when she arrived at the station the coachman could hardly get his horses to face the wind and rain. In answer to her question the footman told her Thornton Grange was about a mile from the station; and when the carriage turned into the park she peered through the wet panes, trying to see the trees which Owen had often said were the finest in Scotland; but she could only distinguish blurred masses, and the yellow panes of a parapeted house.
“How are you, my dear Evelyn? I’m glad to see you. You’ll find some friends here.” And Lady Ascott led her through shadowy drawing-rooms curtained with red silk hangings, filled with rich pictures, china vases, books, marble consol tables on which stood lamps and tall candles. Owen came forward to meet her.
“I am so glad to meet you, Miss Innes! You didn’t expect to see me? I hope you’re not sorry.”
“No, Sir Owen, I’m not sorry; but this is a surprise, for Lady Ascott didn’t tell me. Were you at the concert?”
“No, I couldn’t go; I was too ill. It was a privation to remain at home thinking — What did you sing?”
Evelyn looked at him shrewdly, believing only a little in his illness, and nearly convinced he had not gone to the concert because he wished to keep his presence a secret from her… fearing she would not come to Thornton Grange if she knew he were there.
“He missed a great deal; I told him so when I returned,” said Lady Ascott.
“But what can one do, Miss Innes, when one is ill? The best music in the world — even your voice when one is ill — . Tell me what you sang.”
“Evelyn is going to sing at Glasgow; you will be able to go there with her.”
The servant announced another guest and Lady Ascott went forward to meet him. Guest after guest, and all were greeted with little cries of fictitious intimacy; and each in turn related his or her journey, and the narratives were chequered with the names of other friends who had been staying in the houses they had just come from. Evelyn listened, thinking of her poor people, contrasting their simplicities with the artificialities of the gang — that is how she put it to herself — which ran about from one house to another, visiting, calling itself Society, talking always, changing the conversation rapidly, never interested in any subject sufficiently to endure it for more than a minute and a half. The life of these people seemed to Evelyn artificial as that of white mice, coming in by certain doors, going out by others, climbing poles, engaged in all kinds of little tricks; yet she was delighted to fi
nd herself among them all again, for her life had been dull and tedious since she left the convent; and this sudden change, taking her back to art and to her old friends, was very welcome; and the babble of all these people about her inveigled her out of her new self; and she liked to hear about so many people, their adventures, their ideas, misfortunes, precocious caprices.
The company had broken up into groups, and one little group, of which Evelyn was part, had withdrawn into a corner to discuss its own circle of friends; and all the while Evelyn’s face smiled, her eyes and her lips and her thoughts were atingle. Nonsense! Yes, it was nonsense! But what delicious nonsense! and she waited for somebody to speak of Canary — the “love machine,” as he was called. No sooner had the thought come into her mind than somebody mentioned his name, telling how Beatrice, after sending him away in the luggage-cart, had yielded and taken him back again. “He is her interest,” Evelyn said to herself, and she heard that Canary still continued to cause Beatrice great unhappiness; and some interesting stories were told of her quarrels — all her quarrels were connected with Canary. One of the most serious was with Miss —— , who had gone for a walk with him in the morning; and the guests at Thornton Grange were divided regarding Miss — — ‘s right to ask Canary to go for a walk with her, for, of course, she had come down early for the purpose, knowing well that Beatrice never came downstairs before lunch.
“Quite so.” The young man was listened to, and he continued to argue for a long while that it was not reasonable for a woman to expect a man to spend the whole morning reading the Times, and that apparently was what Beatrice wished poor Canary to do until she chose to come down. Nevertheless, the general opinion was in favour of Beatrice and against the girl.
“Beatrice has been so kind to her,” and everybody had something to say on this point.
“But what happened?” Evelyn asked, and the leader of this conversation, a merry little face with eyes like wild flowers and a great deal of shining hair, told of Beatrice’s desperate condition when the news of Miss — — ‘s betrayal reached her.
“I went up and found her in tears, her hair hanging down her back, saying that nobody cared for her. Although she spends three thousand a year on clothes, she sits up in that bedroom in a dressing-gown that we have known for the last five years. “Well, Beatrice,” I said, “if you’ll only put on a pair of stays and dress yourself and come downstairs, perhaps somebody will care for you.”
A writer upon economic subjects who trailed a black lock of hair over a bald skull declared he could see the scene in Beatrice’s bedroom quite clearly, and he spoke of her woolly poodle looking on, trying to understand what it was all about, and his allusion to the poodle made everybody laugh, for some reason not very apparent, and Evelyn wondered at the difference between the people she was now among and those she had left — the nuns in their convent at the edge of Wimbledon Common, and her thoughts passing back, she remembered the afternoon in the Savoy Hotel spent among her fellow-artists.
Her reverie endured, she did not know how long; only that she was awakened from it by Lady Ascott, come to tell her it was time to go upstairs to dress for dinner. Now with whom would she go down? With Owen, of course, such was the etiquette in houses like Thornton Grange. It was possible Lady Ascott might look upon them as married people and send her down with somebody else — one of those young men! No! The young men would be reserved for the girls. As she suspected, she went down with Owen. He did not tell her where he had been since she last saw him; intimate conversation was impossible amid a glitter of silver dishes and anecdotes of people they knew; but after dinner in a quiet corner she would hear his story. And as soon as the men came up from the dining-room Owen went straight towards her, and she followed him out of hearing of the card-players.
“At last we are alone. My gracious! how I’ve looked forward to this little talk with you, all through that long dinner, and the formal talk with the men afterwards, listening to infernal politics and still more infernal hunting. You didn’t expect to meet me, did you?”
“No; Lady Ascott said nothing about your being here when she came to the concert.”
“And perhaps you wouldn’t have come if you had known I was here?”
“Is that why you didn’t come to the concert?”
“Well, Evelyn, I suppose it was. You’ll forgive me the trickery, won’t you?” She took his hand and held it for a moment. “That touch of your hand means more to me than anything in the world.” A cloud came into her face which he saw and it pained him to see it. “Lady Ascott wrote saying she intended to ask you to Thornton Grange, so I wrote at once asking her if she could put me up; she guessed an estrangement, and being a kind woman, was anxious to put it right.”
“An estrangement, Owen? But there is no estrangement between us?”
“No estrangement?”
“Well, no, Owen, not what I should call an estrangement.”
“But you sent me away, saying I shouldn’t see you for three months. Now three months have passed — haven’t I been obedient?”
“Have three months passed?”
“Yes; It was in August you sent me away and now we are in November.”
“Three months all but a fortnight.”
“The last time I saw you was the day you went to Wimbledon to sing for the nuns. They have captured you; you are still singing for them.”
“You mustn’t say a word against the nuns,” and she told anecdotes about the convent which interested her, but which provoked him even to saying under his breath, “Miserable folk!”
“I won’t allow you to speak like that against my friends.”
Owen apologised, saying they had taken her from him. “And you can’t expect me to sympathise with people or with an idea that has done this? It wouldn’t be human, and I don’t think you would like me any better if I did — now would you, Evelyn? Can you say that you would, honestly, hand upon your heart? — if a heart is beating there still.”
“A heart is beating—”
“I mean if a human heart is beating.”
“It seems to me, Owen, I am just as human, more human than ever, only it is a different kind of humanity.”
“Pedantry doesn’t suit women, nor does cruelty; cruelty suits no one and you were very cruel when we parted.”
“Yes, I suppose I was, and it is always wrong to be cruel. But I had to send you away; if I hadn’t I should have been late for the concert. You don’t realise, Owen, you can’t realise—” And as she said those words her face seemed to freeze, and Owen thought of the idea within her turning her to ice.
“The wind! Isn’t it uncanny? You don’t know the glen? One of the most beautiful in Scotland.” And he spoke of the tall pines at the end of it, the finest he had ever seen, and hoped that not many would be blown down during the night. “Such a storm as this only happens once in ten years. Good God, listen!” Like a savage beast the wind seemed to skulk, and to crouch…. It sprang forward and seized the house and shook it. Then it died away, and there was stillness for a few minutes.
“But it is only preparing for another attack,” Evelyn said, and they listened, hearing the wind far away gathering itself like a robber band, determined this time to take the castle by assault. Every moment it grew louder, till it fell at last with a crash upon the roof.
“But what a fool I am to talk to you about the wind, not having seen you for three months! Surely there is something else for us to talk about?”
“I would sooner you spoke about the wind, Owen.”
“It is cruel of you to say so, for there is only one subject worth talking about — yourself. How can I think of any other? When I am alone in Berkeley Square I can only think of the idea which came into your head and made a different woman of you.” Evelyn refrained from saying “And a much better woman,” and Owen went on to tell how the idea had seized her in Pisa. “Remember, Evelyn, it played you a very ugly trick then. I’m not sure if I ought to remind you.”
“You mean
when you found me sitting on the wall of an olive-garth? But there was no harm in singing to the peasants.”
“And when I found you in a little chapel on the way to the pine-forest — the forest in which you met Ulick Dean. What has become of that young man?”
“I don’t know. I haven’t heard of him.”
“You once nearly went out of your mind on his account.”
“Because I thought he had killed himself.”
“Or because you thought you wouldn’t be able to resist him?”
Evelyn did not answer, and looking through the rich rooms, unconsciously admiring the gleaming of the red silk hangings in the lamplight, and the appearance of a portrait standing in the midst of its dark background and gold frame, she discovered some of the guests: two women leaning back in a deep sofa amid cushions confiding to each other the story of somebody’s lover, no doubt; and past them, to the right of a tall pillar, three players looked into the cards, one stood by, and though Owen and Evelyn were thinking of different things they could not help noticing the whiteness of the men’s shirt fronts, and the aigrette sprays in the women’s hair, and the shapely folds of the silken dresses falling across the carpet.
“Not one of these men and women here think as you do; they are satisfied to live. Why can’t you do the same?”
“I am different from them.”
“But what is there different in you?”
“You don’t think then, Owen, that every one has a destiny?”
“Evelyn, dear, how can you think these things? We are utterly unimportant; millions and billions of beings have preceded us, billions will succeed us. So why should it be so important that a woman should be true to her lover?”
