by George Moore
‘Your happiness is a different happiness,’ Mrs. Scully answered.
Like a flowering tree, a luxuriant joy bloomed in the Marquis’s heart; in its shade and fragrance his thoughts lay supinely; and, a prey to many floating and fanciful imaginings, he walked onwards through the darkness. In the lowering skies he saw the fair face that had led him to the verge on which he now stood.
‘Was anybody as happy as he? And what did his happiness mean?’ he asked himself.
Shades flitted across yellow window-panes, and he remembered he had received an invitation for this very ball.
Cats slunk through the area railings; policemen moved from their hiding corners; a lover passed on with his dreams.
XXI
MRS. BARTON RARELY took anyone into her confidence, and her plan for the capture of the Marquis was locked within her breast. Not to her husband, nor yet to Milord, did she think of going for advice. Her special experience of life had taught her to trust none, to be self-reliant, and never to give up hope. For as she often said, it is the last effort that wins the battle. Mrs. Barton’s knowledge of the world, when it came to be analyzed, was only that of the courtesan — skin deep.
Two days after she received a note from the Marquis, saying he would be glad to spend a week with them at Brookfield. She read it quietly, slipped it into the pocket of the black silk that covered the unseen feet, and glided out of the room. Every detail was clear to her. They must leave Dublin to-morrow morning; they need not trouble about calling on a pack of women, but they would have all their men friends to dinner.
Mr. Barton, when he was informed of these sudden determinations, was in the act of rehearsing a song he was to sing the following day at a concert.
‘But, my dear,’ he said, tightening one of the strings; ‘the public will be awfully disappointed.’
‘Yes, my dear, yes; I am very sorry, but I have my reasons — serious reasons; and in this world we must only do what’s right.’
‘Then in the next world we shall be able to do everything that’s wrong,’ said Mr. Barton; and he threw back his blond locks with troubadour-like waves of his lymphatic hand. ‘I shall like the next world better than this,’ he added, and his wife and daughter laughed; for papa was supposed to be very naughty.
‘Olive, dear—’
‘Oh, mamma, I wish you wouldn’t call me Olive. I shall change my name. Captain Talbot was chaffing me about it yesterday. Everybody chaffs me about it.’
‘Never mind, my dear; it makes a subject of conversation. But I was going to tell you that we shall have to start for Brookfield to-morrow.’
‘Go to Brookfield! I couldn’t possibly leave Dublin yet a while; what would all my young men do — they’d die of broken hearts!’
‘It won’t matter much if they do; there aren’t a dozen worth two thousand a year each.’
‘No? You are joking, mamma. And the Marquis?’
‘That’s a secret, dear.’
‘Then you don’t think he’ll propose to me after all; and I gave up Edward — Captain Hibbert.’
‘I thought you had forgotten that horrid man’s name. I didn’t say, dear, that the Marquis wouldn’t propose to you — of course he will. But we must leave Dublin to-morrow — I have serious reasons.’
‘Oh, mamma, I didn’t think you were so cruel, to go back to that hateful place, where everybody talks of rents, and that odious Land League.’
‘Now, I will not allow my darling to cry like that,’ exclaimed Mrs. Barton, and she threw her arms round the girl’s shoulders. ‘I didn’t say that there wouldn’t be a man within seven miles. On the contrary, there will be one very charming man indeed.’
‘What do you mean, mamma?’
‘That’s a secret — that’s a secret.’
Alice was told that she had better come home early that afternoon, so that she might have plenty of time to pack her own things and help her sister with hers; and it seemed to her unbelievable that she was at last leaving that hateful little varnished floor, complimenting old beaux and young A.D.C.’s.
But if to nobody else, she must say good-bye to May. She had hardly seen her since the night of the State ball — the night she had given Fred Scully permission to see her in her room. She found her in the ladies’ drawing-room.
‘How do you do, May?’
‘Oh, how do you do, Alice? I am so glad to see you. What a dreadful day!’
‘Yes, isn’t it? Don’t you find it very depressing?’
‘I should think I did. I’m feeling rather out of sorts. Do you ever feel out of sorts? you know, when everything seems as if it were reflected in a darkened glass? There are times when we girls are nervous and weak, and ready to quarrel with anyone. I don’t know what I wish for now; I think I should like to go back to the country.’
‘We are going back to-morrow morning.’
‘You don’t say so; and how’s that? There are plenty of balls and afternoon dances. What does Olive say to going home?’
‘She doesn’t mind. You know mamma always said she would return immediately after the Castle balls.’
‘And now that it is all over, tell me what you think of the Castle. Did it come up to your expectations?’
‘I don’t know that I think much about the matter. I am not so fond of dancing as you are.’
‘Oh, goodness me, goodness me, how ill I do feel,’ said May, as she started and yawned in a way that betokened the nervous lassitude she was suffering from.
‘Perhaps you had better see the doctor,’ said Alice significantly.
‘I’m worried. Fred hasn’t been as nice lately as he used to be.’
‘What has he done?’
‘Last night he promised to meet me in the Square, and he wrote to say he couldn’t come, that he was forced to go and see an important customer about some horses.’
‘Perhaps he had.’
‘I dare say he had, but what of that? It does not make it any less disagreeable for me to be disappointed.’
‘How cross you are, May! I came out on purpose to talk to you on this very subject. I hope you won’t be angry, but I think it is my duty to tell you that people are beginning to talk about you.’
‘And what do they say?’
‘Well, they say many unpleasant things; you know how ill-natured people are.’
‘Yes, but what do they say?’
‘They say you are desperately in love with Fred Scully.’
‘Supposing I were; is there any very great harm in that?’
‘I only want to put you on your guard, May dear; and since I have come here for the purpose of speaking out, I had better do so, however unpleasant it may be; and I must say that you often forget yourself when he is in the room, and by your whole manner betray your feelings. You look at him—’
‘You needn’t talk. Now that Harding has left town, these moral reflections come very easy to you!’
Alice blushed a little; she trembled, and pursuing her advantage, May said:
‘Oh, yes; I have watched you in the Castle sitting out dances; and when girls like you butter! ‘Pon my word, it was painful to look at you.’
‘Mr. Harding and I talked merely of books and pictures.’
‘If you come here to insinuate that Fred and I are in the habit of indulging in improper conversation. . . . I didn’t expect this from you. I shan’t stop another moment. I shan’t speak to you again.’
Picking up her novel, and deaf to all explanations, May walked haughtily out of the room. Alice would have given much to help; and, her heart filled with gentle disappointment, she returned home. The evening was spent in packing; and next morning at dawn, looking tired, their eyes still heavy with sleep, the Bartons breakfasted for the last time in Mount Street.
At the Broadstone they met Lord Dungory. Then, their feet and knees cosily wrapped up in furs, with copies of the Freeman’s Journal lying on the top, they deplored the ineffectiveness of Mr. Forster’s Coercion Act. Eight hundred people were in prison,
and still the red shadow of murder pointed across the land. Milord read from the newspaper:
‘A dastardly outrage was committed last night in the neighbourhood of Mullingar. A woman named Mary —— had some differences with her sister Bridget —— . One day, after some angry words, it appears that she left the house, and seeing a man working in a potato-field, she asked him if he could do anything to help her. He scratched his head, and, after a moment’s reflection, he said he was going to meet a “party,” and he would see what could be done. On the following day he suggested that Bridget might be removed for the sum of one pound. Mary —— could not, however, procure more than fifteen shillings, and a bargain was struck. On the night arranged for the assassination Mary wished to leave the house, not caring to see her sister shot in her presence, but Pat declared that her absence would excite suspicion. In the words of one of the murderers, the deed was accomplished “nately and without unnecessary fuss.”’
‘I wonder,’ said Mrs. Barton, ‘what those wretches will have to do before the Government will consent to suspend the Habeas Corpus Act, and place the country in the hands of the military. Do they never think of how wickedly they are behaving, and of how God will punish them when they die? Do they never think of their immortal souls?’
‘L’âme du paysan se vautre dans la boue comme la mienne se plaît dans la soie.’
‘Dans la soie! dans la soie! oh, ce Milord, ce Milord!’
‘Oui, madame,’ he added, lowering his voice, ‘dans le blanc paradis de votre corsage.’
Three days after life at Brookfield had resumed its ordinary course. Once breakfast was over, Arthur retired to the consideration of the pectoral muscles of the ancient Briton, Milord drank his glass of sherry at half-past one, and Mrs. Barton devoted herself to the double task of amusing him and encouraging Olive with visions of future fame. Alice was therefore left definitely to herself, and without hindrance or comment was allowed to set up her writing-table, and spend as much time as she pleased in her bedroom.
Several sheets of foolscap paper covered with large open handwriting lay upon the table. Upon the first page, with a line ruled beneath it, stood the title: ‘The Diary of a Plain Girl — Notes and Sensations.’ She had just laid aside her pen and was waiting for Cecilia.
‘Oh, Alice darling, how are you? I am delighted — I am so delighted to see you. Let me kiss you, let me see you; I have been longing for you for weeks — for months.’
Alice bent her face down, and then, holding each other’s hands, the girls stood looking through a deep and expressive silence into each other’s eyes.
‘I wish, Alice, I could tell you how glad I am to have you back: it seems like heaven to see you again. You look so nice, so true, so sweet, so perfect. There never was anyone so perfect as you, Alice.’
‘Cecilia dear, you shouldn’t talk to me like that; it is absurd. Indeed, I don’t think it is quite right.’
‘Not quite right,’ replied the cripple sadly; ‘what do you mean? Why is it wrong — why should it be wrong for me to love you?’
‘I don’t mean to say that it is wrong; you misunderstand me; but — but — well, I don’t know how to explain myself, but—’
‘I know, I know, I know,’ said Cecilia, and her nervous sensitivity revealed thoughts in Alice’s mind — thoughts of which Alice herself was not distinctly conscious, just as a photograph exposes irregularities in the texture of a leaf that the naked eye would not perceive.
‘If Harding were to speak to you so, you wouldn’t think it wrong.’
Alice’s face flushed a little, and she said, with a certain resoluteness in her voice, ‘Cecilia, I wish you wouldn’t talk to me in this way. You give me great pain.’
‘I am sorry if I do, but I can’t help it. I am jealous of the words that are spoken to you, of the air you breathe, of the ground you walk upon. How, then, can I help hating that man?’
‘I do not wish to argue this point with you, Cecilia, nor am I sure that I understand it. There is no one I like better than you, dear, but that we should be jealous of each other is absurd.’
‘For you perhaps, but not for me.’ Cecilia looked at Alice reproachfully, and at the end of a long and morose silence she said:
‘You received the long letter I wrote to you about him?’
‘Yes, Cecilia, and I answered it. It seems to me very foolish to pronounce condemnatory opinion on the whole world; and particularly for you who have seen so little of it.’
‘That doesn’t matter. People are blinded by their passions; but when these have worn themselves out, they see the truth in all its horrible nakedness. One of these days you’ll tell me that I am right. You have been a good deal in the world lately; tell me if you have found it beautiful. You didn’t believe me when I told you that men were vile and abominable; you said there were good men in the world, that you were sure of it. Have you found them? Was Mr. Harding so very perfect?’
Alice coloured again; she hesitated, and in the silence Cecilia again divined her friend’s thoughts.
‘A very poor ideal indeed, it seems to me that you set yourself — to make the best of this wretched world.’
‘I cannot understand what good can come of craving after the unattainable,’ said Alice, looking earnestly out of her grey sharp eyes.
‘True beauty lies only in the unattainable,’ said Cecilia, lifting her eyes with that curious movement of the eyeball by which painters represent faith and mysticism.
At the end of a long silence, Alice said:
‘But you’ll have some tea, will you not, Cecilia?’
‘Yes; but don’t let us go downstairs.’
‘We’ll have it up here; Barnes will bring it up.’
‘Oh, that will be so nice.’
The girls drew closer to the fire, and in its uniting warmth they looked into the ardent face of their friendship, talking, at first, conscious of the appropriateness of their conversation; but soon forgetful of the more serious themes they had been discussing, questions were asked and answered, and comments passed, upon the presentations, the dresses, the crowds, upon all their acquaintances.
‘It is given out, Alice dear, that Lord Kilcarney is coming down to stay at Brookfield. Is it true?’
‘I have heard nothing of it. Whom did you hear it from?’
‘Well, the Duffys wrote it to my sisters. The Duffys, you know, have all the Dublin news.’
‘What dreadful gossips they are! And the wonderful part of it is that they often tell you that things have happened long before they do happen.’
‘Yes; I have noticed that. They anticipate the news.’
The girls laughed lightly, and Cecilia continued:
‘But tell me, which do you think he admires most, Olive or Violet? The rumour goes that he pays Violet great attentions. The family is, of course, wild about it. She hasn’t a penny piece, and Olive, they say, has a good deal of money.’
‘I don’t know.’
‘You must show me the dress you wore. You described it beautifully in your letter. You must have looked very sweet. Did everybody say so?’
‘I am not sure that they did. Men, you know, do not always admire what women do.’
‘I should think not. Men only admire beastliness.’
‘Cecilia dear, you shouldn’t talk like that; it isn’t nice.’
Cecilia looked at Alice wistfully, and she said:
‘But tell me about the presentations. I suppose there were an immense number of people present?’
‘Yes, and particularly débutantes; there were a great number presented this year. It was considered a large Drawing-Room.’
‘And how are you presented? I’ve heard my sister speak about it, but I never quite understood.’
At that moment Barnes brought in the tea. She set it on a little table used for the purpose.
‘There is a letter for you, miss, on the tray,’ she said as she left the room; ‘it came by the afternoon post.’
Without answering, Ali
ce continued to pour out the tea, but when she handed Cecilia her cup, she said, surprised at the dull, sullen stare fixed upon her:
‘What is the matter? Why do you look at me like that?’
‘That letter, I am sure, is from Harding; it is a man’s handwriting.’
She had been expecting that letter for days.
‘Oh! give it me,’ she said impulsively.
‘There it is; I wouldn’t touch it. I knew you liked that man; but I didn’t expect to find you corresponding with him. It is shameful; it isn’t worthy of you. You might have left such things to May Gould.’
‘Cecilia, you have no right to speak to me in that way; you are presuming too much on our friendship.’
‘Oh, yes, yes; but before you met him I could not presume too much upon our friendship.’
‘If you want to know why I wrote to Mr. Harding, I’ll tell you.’
‘It was you who wrote to him, then?’
‘Yes, I wrote to him.’
‘Oh, yes, yes, yes; I see it all now,’ cried Cecilia, and she walked wildly to and fro, her eye tinged with a strange glare. ‘Yes, I see it all. This room, that was once a girl’s room, is now Harding’s room. He is the atmosphere of the place. I was conscious of it when I entered, but now it is visible to me — that manuscript, that writing-table, that letter. Oh yes, it is Harding, all is Harding!’
‘Cecilia, Cecilia, think, I beg of you, of what you are saying.’
But when Alice approached and strove to raise her from the pillow upon which she had thrown herself, she started up and savagely confronted her.
‘Don’t touch me, don’t touch me!’ she cried. ‘I cannot bear it. What are you to me, what am I to you? It is not with me you would care to be, but with him. It is not my kiss of friendship that would console you, but his kiss of passion that would charm you. . . . Go to him, and leave me to die.’
‘Was this insanity?’ And then, forgetful of the abuse that was being showered upon her, Alice said:
‘Cecilia dear, listen; I’ll forgive the language you have used toward me, for I know you do not know what you are saying. You must be ill . . . you cannot be in your right senses to-day, or you would not speak like that.’
