by Lucy Clark
‘You’re not eating with your son?’
‘My parents wanted to take Declan out to dinner and then look at apartments. It was a special treat for him.’
‘And you weren’t invited?’
Rachael walked passed him to the door. ‘They haven’t seen him for six months and wanted some time alone with him.’ She opened the door, thankful for the distraction. There was no way she was telling Joe she’d been unable to go out with her family tonight. The shock of the day had been too much for her to cope with and she hadn’t been ready to answer her parents’ questions about Joe.
She signed for the food and told the waiter she’d take care of setting it up.
‘Thank you, Dr Cusack,’ he said, before disappearing.
‘I’ll go and leave you to eat,’ Joe muttered.
‘You said you had questions and if you don’t mind, I’d rather get them out the way before Declan returns. I want your decision, Joe. You’re either in or out of his life and I need that information by tomorrow. Declan’s already asking questions and getting excited.’ She levelled a firm stare at Joe. ‘I won’t have him hurt.’
‘I understand. All right.’ He straightened his shoulders as though he was getting ready for battle. ‘Why did you move to the Gold Coast?’ Helen had told him it was so Declan could go to that fancy school, but he wanted to hear if Rachael had a different reason. Had she known he lived here? Had she specifically chosen his practice to work at, hoping he might get to know his son?
‘For Declan. He was accepted to a good school here.’ She named the school and Joe nodded, as impressed as he’d been when Helen had told him.
‘Wow. That school is almost impossible to get into. Isn’t that a school for gifted children?’
‘Yes, although I can’t stand that label. Declan has a high IQ, and at the beginning of this term he was offered a place. It’s all been rather sudden, hence the fact that we don’t have anywhere to live. Still, I’d make any sacrifice for him.’
‘High IQ, eh?’ Joe felt like preening. His boy, his son was smart. He shook his head in bemusement.
‘You’re no dummy yourself, Joe. You just didn’t have anyone to support you while you were growing up. If people tell you you’re useless, after a while you begin to believe them.’
He hated it that she could read him so easily.
‘This term isn’t going to be easy for him. For a start, he’s beginning in the second term while all the other new kids started at the beginning of the year. Also, a lot of these kids have been there since they started high school. Then there’s the downside to being a smart kid.’
‘What’s that?’
‘He suffers from anxiety. It can get quite bad sometimes, and when it does he doesn’t eat, he doesn’t sleep and, quite frankly, Joe, it’s scary to see him going through it. Can’t you see why I need an answer from you? I don’t want him stressed out. I don’t want him getting his hopes up about you, only to have them dashed when, after a few short weeks, you decide you don’t want to play father any more.’
‘That’s a little unfair.’
‘It’s very unfair, Joe, but I need that decision. If you’re in, then you’re in for the rest of his life. Up until now you’ve had the excuse that you didn’t know about him, but now you know.’
‘You can’t just dump this on me, Rachael. It’s a lot to take in. This morning I got up, went to work and saw you. That was bad enough, but by this afternoon I’d discovered I was a father! Now you want me to choose? My whole life has been flipped in less than twenty-four hours.’
‘You’re thirty-four, Joe. I had all this dumped on me when I was eighteen! My husband didn’t want me any more and a few months later I found out I was pregnant, so don’t go putting this back on me. You’re used to adapting, Joe. It’s what you’re good at. You adapted to the role of traveller when you set out to see the world. You adapted quickly to the role of friend, then boyfriend and finally husband—all within a matter of three weeks. Then you adapted even more quickly to the role of ex-husband and disappeared off the face of the earth. Don’t go giving me speeches and platitudes. It doesn’t matter whether or not you gel with Declan, it doesn’t matter whether or not you can put up with me. You either want him in your life or you don’t. Yes, your life has changed in the past twenty-four hours, but there’s no going back. Your life has changed for ever. Now act like a grown-up and deal with it.’
The phone rang and she snatched it up. ‘Yes?’ Rachael turned away from Joe, forcing herself to take a deep breath.
‘Dr Cusack? I’m the night manager. We have an emergency downstairs in the restaurant and need your help.’ There was urgency and repressed panic in the man’s tone.
‘I’ll be right there. Meet me at the lift.’ Rachael hung up the phone and slipped on a pair of shoes. ‘Emergency downstairs.’ She grabbed the room key-card and headed out, knowing Joe would follow. He was a doctor and this was what doctors did. They put their personal lives on hold when their work required them to.
The instant the lift doors opened in the lobby, the night manager was by their side. ‘Over here. We’ve called the ambulance but this man isn’t at all well.’ He led them through the dining room and out the back through to the staff corridors. He opened a side door to reveal an elderly woman weeping next to a man who had just been carried through by two young waiters. The room was quite small and the staff had pushed together two armchairs for the man to lie on.
‘No!’ Joe snapped authoritatively. ‘Get him on the floor.’ The two waiters did as they were told. ‘We’ll take it from here,’ Joe said. ‘Get me the hotel’s medical kit, immediately.’
The night manager nodded and ordered one of the waiters to find one. Rachael began to loosen the man’s clothes while the night manager ushered everyone out.
‘I want to stay,’ his wife begged.
‘Of course. Come and sit here and hold his hand.’ Rachael sat the woman where her husband could see her but where she was out of the way. ‘What’s his name?’
‘Alwyn.’
‘And you are?’ While Rachael spoke, she continued to loosen Alwyn’s clothing. Joe was checking his mouth, making sure there was no food or anything blocking the windpipe before taking a closer look at the pupils.
‘Ethel.’
‘I’m Rachael and this is Joe.’
‘Pulse is weak,’ Joe muttered. ‘Skin is clammy. Ethel, does your husband have any allergies or heart problems we should know about?’
‘He takes Lopresor.’
‘What does he take that for?’
‘An irregular heartbeat.’
‘Has he had a check-up recently?’ Rachael asked.
‘No. I’ve been telling him to go to the doctor but—’
‘What was he doing before the pain struck?’ Joe asked as Rachael took the man’s pulse.
‘He was eating and then he just…he just clutched his chest and started shaking.’ Ethel began to cry again.
‘Pulse is gone!’ Rachael’s words were sharp. Joe immediately began mouth-to-mouth resuscitation and Rachael began cardiac heart massage. They were both aware of Ethel’s sobs and when the night manager brought the medical kit to them, but their concentration was on getting Alwyn to breathe once more.
Rachael was counting out loud as they worked together. When Alwyn gave a spluttering gasp, she quickly reached for the medical kit, hauled it open and pulled out a stethoscope, handing it to Joe. With a medical torch, she checked his pupils.
‘Equal and reacting to light. Stay with us, Alwyn,’ she said encouragingly, watching him closely.
‘Check out what’s in that kit, Rach. Any adrenaline?’
She had a quick check. ‘No.’
He shook his head. ‘Guess it was a long shot.’
Alwyn was still spluttering and turning a lovely shade of green. Rachael dug around in the medical kit and found a lined bag. Moments later, he vomited. Rachael soothed him as Joe pumped up the portable sphygmomanometer he’d found in th
e kit.
‘Ethel,’ Joe said as he worked, ‘Alywn’s still not out of the woods. It appears he’s had a heart attack and will need to be hospitalised. While we’re waiting for the ambulance, did you want to call someone to come and be with you?’
‘I’ll get you a phone,’ the night manager said from the doorway, and quickly hurried away.
‘My daughter. I’ll call her. She’ll know what to do.’
‘Good.’
‘Is he going to be all right?’ Ethel’s grip on her husband’s hand was almost vice-like, and Rachael didn’t blame her.
‘We can’t answer that,’ she said softly. ‘Once we have him at the hospital and he’s had further tests, we’ll know more. I can tell you that the next twenty-four hours are critical.’
‘BP is still low.’
‘Skin’s still clammy.’ Rachael checked Alywn’s pupils again as Joe deflated the sphygmo cuff and reached for the stethoscope. ‘Stay with us, Alwyn. We can’t do this by ourselves, we need your help. Pupils still equal and reacting.’ She pressed her fingers to his pulse. ‘Pulse is stronger than before. That’s it, Alwyn. Just stay focused on what you need to do.’
‘Heart rate is improving. No, Alwyn, don’t close your eyes. Just keep looking at Rachael…which isn’t hard to do. You’ve got a beautiful woman on either side of you—lucky man.’ At Joe’s words, a faint smile touched Alwyn’s lips and Rachael saw him squeeze Ethel’s hand.
‘That’s it, love,’ his wife encouraged him, brushing the tears from her eyes with her free hand. ‘The ambulance is coming and they’ll get you to hospital.’
‘How’s the pain, Alwyn? Is it going away?’ Rachael asked. ‘Squeeze Ethel’s hand again if it’s getting better.’ Rachael watched the muscles in his hands clench around his wife’s small, frail fingers.
‘He squeezed.’ Ethel was exuberant.
‘Good. Just stay nice and calm.’
The night manager came back with a phone, which he handed to Ethel, and the news that the ambulance had just pulled up. He disappeared as quickly as he’d come but returned a minute later with the paramedics.
‘Hey, Joe.’
‘Smitty. Come and meet Alwyn and Ethel. Alwyn.’ Joe turned his attention to their patient. ‘This is my friend Smitty and he’s going to take great care of you.’
Smitty placed a non-rebreather mask over Alwyn’s mouth and nose to administer oxygen.
‘We’ll have you feeling better in next to no time, mate,’ Smitty said with a smile. He glanced from the patient to Rachael. ‘Mick Schmidt.’ He held his hand out to her.
‘Rachael Cusack.’
‘It is a pleasure to meet you, Rachael.’
‘Focus, people,’ Joe growled, which only made Rachael smile. She’d heard him use that tone in the past and it had been when another man had attempted to chat her up. ‘Smitty, get him ready to transfer to the stretcher.’
While they worked, Ethel finished her call to her daughter and went back to holding her husband’s hand. The love they shared for each other was clearly evident in their gazes. Rachael sighed, hoping, longing and wishing that she, too, could have had that long-lasting love. She sneaked a glance at Joe and looked quickly away when she realised he was watching her, a scowl on his face.
When Alwyn was ready, Smitty and his colleague wheeled the stretcher out to the ambulance parked at the front of the hotel. A small crowd had gathered around, curious to see what was going on.
‘I’ll go with him to the hospital,’ Joe said.
‘What about your car?’
‘I’ll come and get it later.’ He stood beside the open ambulance doors and looked down at her. ‘We’ll finish our discussion tomorrow.’
She nodded. ‘I don’t think you got the answers you were looking for, Joe, but the ones I gave you were honest. I hope you know that.’
‘You’ve never lied to me, Rachael. I respect that.’ His voice was as smooth as silk, his gaze a gentle caress. She found it hard not to sigh with longing and held herself aloof.
‘Mum!’ A car had pulled up behind them and Rachael quickly turned to face her son. ‘Mum?’ Declan’s eyes were wide with panic.
‘I’m all right, darling. I’m all right.’ She held out her arms and he quickly hugged her. ‘A guest had a heart attack and they called me down to help. That’s all.’
Declan nodded. ‘Dad!’ His blue eyes were now wide with surprise.
‘Dad?’ Smitty said as he stepped from the back of the ambulance, glancing at Joe in surprise. ‘Now the growl makes sense.’
Joe ignored the paramedic and turned to face his son.
‘Dad, what are you doing here?’
Dad! Joe couldn’t believe the swell of pride that washed over him at having that one word directed at him. ‘Uh…I just dropped by.’
‘Joe,’ Smitty said. ‘We’re ready to go.’
‘OK.’ He went to climb into the back of the ambulance.
‘Let me know how Alwyn gets on,’ Rachael said.
Joe nodded. He glanced at Declan and opened his mouth to speak, but Smitty started the engine and the other paramedic was waiting to close the rear doors. Joe looked at Rachael. ‘I’ll see you tomorrow.’
The doors were shut and the ambulance drove off with flashing lights and blaring sirens.
‘Excitement just seems to follow you around,’ Rachael’s mother said as she came to stand by her daughter and grandson. ‘Your father’s just going to park the car and will meet us up in your room,’ Elizabeth Cusack said, rubbing her hands up and down her arms. ‘It’s getting chilly out here.’
Until her mother had mentioned it, Rachael hadn’t noticed. With Declan’s arm still protectively around her shoulders, they headed inside, the night manager thanking her profusely for her help and saying that her night’s account would be taken care of.
When they got back to their room, Declan headed off to have a shower and Rachael went to the mini-bar.
‘Need a drink?’ Elizabeth asked. ‘I’m not surprised. I gather that was Joe?’
‘Yes.’
‘Hmm. I can see why you fell for him.’
‘Mum!’ Rachael whirled around and looked at her mother in astonishment.
‘What? All I’m saying is he’s a good-looking man. He has that…rebel-without-a-cause look to him.’
‘Yes. He had it in abundance fifteen years ago, too.’ Rachael shut the fridge door and slumped down into a chair. ‘Oh, Mum. I don’t know what to do.’
‘Meaning?’
‘Meaning I’m still attracted to the man.’
‘Of course you are. It’s a natural reaction, especially as you weren’t the one to end things. The question is, how does Joe feel?’
‘I guess he’s attracted to me.’ She glanced up at her mother. ‘We almost kissed.’ The instant the words were out of her mouth, she buried her face in her hands. ‘Oh-h,’ she wailed. ‘What am I going to do? I’m so confused.’
‘Look.’ Elizabeth came over and placed a hand on her daughter’s shoulder. ‘When you came home from America, we knew something was wrong the instant you stepped off the plane. By the time we’d driven home, we both knew the trouble was a man. We didn’t push you because we just thought it was some holiday romance.’
‘And then I was pregnant.’
‘Yes. Well, we were stunned, but that was nothing compared to you telling us you’d married the man, only to have your marriage annulled two days later.’ Elizabeth shook her head. ‘It just wasn’t like you at all. You’d always been firm in your goals, dependable and trustworthy. Not that marrying Joe didn’t make you less those things, it was just so…out of character for you.’
‘I know.’
‘The thing is, darling, if Joe hadn’t insisted on the annulment, do you honestly believe the marriage would have lasted?’
‘I would have worked at it.’
‘I’m not saying you wouldn’t have. You would have worked hard, made bigger sacrifices and probably compromised your goals and amb
itions to fit in with a life you hadn’t planned, but surely you can see that it wouldn’t have stood the test of time. Both of you, and I say this only from the things you’ve told me about Joe over the years, needed to grow up. It’s sad he didn’t know about Declan but you’ve both been able to achieve a lot in the past fifteen years. Now he’s back in your life and the emotions have swamped you all over again.’
‘They’re just so…so…big. And there’s so many of them.’
Elizabeth laughed. ‘You’ll work it out, darling. You always do. We’re here to help you as we’ve always been. We trust you, Rachael, and we trust your instincts. You’ll do what’s right. And if that’s letting Joe into Declan’s life?’
‘Then that’s what will happen.’
‘But what about letting Joe back into your life?’
‘I don’t know,’ Rachael wailed.
‘How does Declan feel about Joe?’
‘How many times did he mention Joe this evening?’
‘Quite a few,’ Elizabeth confessed.
‘Then you hardly need to ask. Now that Joe’s appeared out of the blue, Declan’s eager to get to know him, and I can’t say I blame him. I mean, he’s almost fifteen. He’s coming to that time in his life when I can’t do much except just be there for him. I know he has Dad and it’s wonderful that he’s had a male influence throughout his life but…’
‘This is his father, not his grandfather. I understand.’ Elizabeth pulled her chair closer. ‘And Joe? Does he want to get to know Declan?’
‘I’m not sure. I’m pressuring him.’
‘Is that wise?’
‘Probably not. I just don’t want Declan hurt. Joe either chooses to be part of his son’s life or he doesn’t. I won’t have Declan stressed out about Joe. Not now. He’s just got into this school and the last thing he needs is more stress.’
‘He’s much better at managing his anxiety now, and he’s a bright boy.’
‘And that concerns me more. It’s because he’s so smart that he might pick up on things an ordinary teenage boy would overlook. He’s so sensitive.’
‘There comes a time when you need to trust Declan to make his own decisions. He may decide that two weeks getting to know his father is all he wants, or all he needs for that matter.’
