by H. Q. Frost
"He shared a hot and heavy night with Rayne Bronson."
"Man!" I punch Kurt's shoulder. "Keep it down. Shit like that can't get out. She's my client right now." I look back at Eleanor. She's a woman, maybe she can help. "I hadn't heard from El for three days. I got a fucked up text that made it seem like she was breaking up with me. I had to meet with a client last night. We met at a bar, went over her case, had some drinks, then more drinks. She invited me up and I went." That should be enough info for input. I can't tell them about the email I received because they don't know El's an escort.
"And what? What did you do?"
Apparently it wasn't.
"Kissing, heavy petting, she gave me head," I quietly admit to the first blow job I've ever been ashamed to receive. "I fingered her. Fuck!" I put my head in my hand.
"Well, you haven't actually talked to the girl all week so—"
"Her phone's been broke and she's been swamped at work. She works fifteen hour days sometimes."
"The fuck does she do?" Kurt questions and I shoot him an annoyed look.
"She came to my house last night and left me a note explaining how busy she's been and that her phone's broke."
The same sentence from her note keeps playing over and over in my head and it's enough to break my damn heart. 'I love you. I'm sorry if it's too soon, but these few days not having contact with you have been hell.'
Goddammit, I'm such a fucking idiot! I felt the same fucking way and yet I took out my frustration and anger with an orgasm I didn't even enjoy.
"I really didn't think I had a girlfriend anymore," I pathetically mutter.
"I think you should explain that," Eleanor says.
Both Kurt and myself reel back. Tell her?
"Don't fucking tell her! That is if you ever see her again. How do you live without a phone?" he mumbles.
"Seriously," I mutter about the phone thing.
"Justin, you have to tell her. If you don't tell her it'll eat at you. You know it will. You'll be a botched up idiot until it comes out. I know you, Justin. You'll hint at it until she figures it out and that'll be worse. You need to tell her."
Fuck, she does know me. Too well.
"That is if you see her again," Kurt repeats.
"I think chances are good," Eleanor says while looking toward the door.
Holy hell, she's here. She's fucking hot in ripped up jeans and a tight army jacket. She's too attractive. She's better looking than Rayne Bronson any fucking day.
Oh fuck, what'd I do?
I'm sick about this.
Her grin, it's killing me. I can't even smile because I feel like a piece of shit.
LILITH's weakness kills everyone
The second my eyes land on him sitting at the bar in a black t-shirt, dark blue jeans, and boots, it's enough to dampen my thong.
The smile on my face won't be tamed and I can't wait to be in his arms.
Even though I have an audience of Kurt and Eleanor it doesn't stop me from throwing my arms around his neck and pushing my lips to his.
With a hum and my lips still to his, I tell him, "I've missed you," and I feel almost one hundred percent better right now.
His arms almost wrap around me twice and he's holding me like if he lets go I'll slip away, but I don't mind. I don't want to stop kissing him but I think it's making Kurt uncomfortable because I hear him make a strange sound.
Leaning back, I grab Justin's face and smile at him, immediately noticing he's not smiling. He looks more…surprised, but not in a good way.
"You get my note?" Not wanting to break our connection, I drape my arms around his neck and his hands are loosely on my sides.
"Yeah." He nods looking away.
Okay, something seems amiss and I think it's the fact I told him I love him.
"So my phone broke and I've had client after client. This week has seriously been the week everyone has a problem." I pull the stool out and Eleanor is across from me wiping my spot off at the bar. "Hi."
She smiles at me. "What'll you have, El?"
I look over at what Justin's drinking and point.
"Thank you." My giddiness is blatantly obvious but I'm excited to be with him, and I really hope he isn't mad I told him I love him. When I spin to face him, he's staring forward. "So." I put my hand on his leg. "I've been swamped. I got a new phone today but had to meet with a client and came here right after."
"A client you fucked?" he quietly growls which makes my heart flutter and my brows furrow because he sounds so mean.
"No," I drawl. "I told you I'm not doing that."
"I got the email, El," he says dubiously.
I forgot about that! But it was a complete mistake.
"There was a system error. We crashed and it was a huge mess. Sending old emails, deleting new ones. It was a mistake. You should have gotten an email explaining that." I glance at his phone that's sitting on the bar.
The look on Justin's face is like…I don't know, like someone died. God, I hope I didn't royally screw this up by writing I love him.
"I didn't get that," he says quietly.
I lean in to kiss him again because until he tells me I'm crazy for writing what I did, I'm going to enjoy being with him.
"I would never do that to you, Justin." My lips travel his stubbled jaw. Public displays of affection aren't my thing but, god, I've missed him. When I see Kurt staring at us from over Justin's shoulder I pull back with a quiet laugh and give him a wave. "Hi, Kurt."
"Sup, El?" He's grinning like something's funny and I want to know what it is.
"Long week," I say and look at Eleanor as she sets the beer in front of me. "Thank you."
She smiles sweetly at me and I see her look at Justin. There's definitely something I'm missing here. What if he told them what I wrote and they all think I'm pathetic?
Directing my attention back to Justin, I push a smile on my face again. "I tried calling the office but you were in a meeting. I wrote that in the note." The nervous chuckle I released wasn't supposed to sound like that, but I'm hoping mentioning the note will initiate if he wants to tell me I've stepped over a line.
"Mother fuckers!" a loud voice fills the bar and I look over.
Justin's friends are piling in one after the other but he hasn't turned his gaze from the beer in his hands. Kurt's off his stool greeting each of them with a palm grab or punch and a few of them pat Justin on the back but he doesn't acknowledge them.
"You alright?" I quietly ask him, putting my hand on his shoulder.
Eleanor diverts my attention by setting four shots in front of me. I grin and laugh.
"On the house." She smiles and starts getting the other guys beer.
I slide them toward Justin and he shakes his head and hand at me. I'll be more than happy to drink this week's woes away. The sweet shot goes down smooth.
"I haven't eaten." I reach for peanuts on the bar and Justin pulls them away.
"Eleanor, get her some popcorn. Don't eat those. Kurt's been biting them and putting them back."
I giggle and look at Kurt who's busy talking to someone else and I think they're talking about Justin, or me. Maybe he's spreading what I wrote Justin and they're all going to laugh at my expense.
Eleanor puts popcorn in front of me and puts her hand on Justin's. "What can I get you?" she carefully asks. "A confessional?"
Something is definitely wrong, and this thought makes the second and third shot go down just as smooth.
Justin grabs the popcorn and my beer and stands without a word, heading for a booth. My eyebrows raise in surprise and I look at Eleanor who nods to the last shot. Oh boy, okay.
Quickly shooting it I cringe at the burn and she hands me the bottle of Goldschläger and a clean shot glass.
"I need this?" I ask in a small voice.
"Just in case. Don't hit him with it."
I look at Justin and his elbows are on the table with his head in both his hands.
Setting the bottle down, I sit. "What's
going on? Is this about my note?" I pathetically ask and those shots have already kicked in. I need to feed my empty stomach before I get sick.
Justin opened the bottle and poured a shot, quickly downing it before looking at her.
"I haven't heard from you in days except the text you sent about it not working out."
"Not working out? And technically I did contact you by note yesterday." She grinned like she forgot about the prior awkwardness.
Justin poured another shot, gulping it down.
"And I got that fucking email. Fuck, El," he grunted, slamming his hand to the table making her jump.
"I'm sorry for what I said in my note," she blurted.
"What you said in your note?" He squinted at her in confusion.
"That I—" She glanced over, making sure no one was around. "Are you angry that I said I love you?" she whispered.
"No," he breathed like her words stabbed him in the heart. "God, no, El." He grabbed her hands. "I haven't heard from you in days, gorgeous."
"Why didn't you call me at the office?"
"I did and I went to see you today but Ian said you'd just left."
"Must have been my five o'clock client."
"I came at three."
"I was—" She stopped, knowing Ian lied to him. "Probably just missed me. I'm here now and I couldn't be happier to see you." Sliding out of her booth, she sat next to him, pushing her fingers into the back of his hair. "I've missed you," she said in a soft inviting tone as she nibbled his jaw. Her hands slid through his untamed curls and he closed his eyes.
"Borg!" someone called out and he looked around Lilith.
The annoying distraction made her huff, going back to the other side of the booth.
"No, man, I'm good." He held his hand up declining a beer.
"Popcorn for dinner, huh?"
She smirked popping a piece in her mouth with a shrug. "Better than no dinner, right?"
"I didn't think you wanted to talk to me anymore," he confessed.
Still wearing a grin, she stared at him like he was a fool. "Why would you think that, Justin?" She chuckled.
He rubbed his forehead. "I thought that's what the text meant."
"What text?"
"You sent me a text saying it wasn't working out!" He grabbed his phone, opening the text and shoving it at her.
She hadn't even had a phone as of Wednesday when he received that text. She hadn't had a phone until Ian brought her one. Staring at the screen for a minute, she realized he must have done it. Again, she didn't want Justin to know all the troubles Ian had been giving her about him.
"I—" She handed him his phone. "That wasn't what it seems like. It wasn't even intended for you."
His brows scrunched and he scowled at her.
"Justin." She grabbed his hands again. "I want this for a long time and even longer." The words flowed freely with the help of her four shots. "I really didn't mean to fall in love with you, but..." With a coy shrug she glanced away.
"Fuck, ZP, I'm so fucking in love with you." His grip got tighter and when she looked up at him she saw his eyes were heavy and full of regret. "I fucked up," he muttered, staring at their clutched hands. "I met with a client yesterday." Heavy blue eyes flashed to her face.
At that moment she thought something happened at work and she was beginning to worry he may have lost his job, or worse.
Kurt and Eleanor stared at them, which went unnoticed.
"What's goin' on over there?" one of the guys asked Kurt.
"Nothing." Kurt pushed him, not wanting anyone else to try and get involved. "You think he told her yet?" Kurt looked at Eleanor.
"No, she hasn't punched him in the face yet," Eleanor responded.
LILITH's a permanent solution to a temporary problem
"That's where I was when you stopped in—" he tries to say.
"At eleven at night?" I ask, worried this is a bad case.
"Yeah." Nodding, he's staring at our hands still. "We had a few drinks and I stayed late."
"What happened? Is everything okay? Is it a big case?"
"Not a big case, it's not about the case." He looks me in the eyes with a very strange gaze I haven't seen on him yet. "You're my girlfriend and I know I agreed to just you, me, and Ian, but I thought you were done with me."
I pull my hands away realizing he's telling me what I've been telling myself he's not. The thought that his client is female never crossed my mind.
"Why would I be done with you and not tell you to your face!" I say loudly, probably too loudly, but I can't believe this right now.
"I don't know. I don't know!" he groans, slamming his hands to the table. "I was fucking confused and hurt."
"Hurt?" I yell.
"The text! The email, El! I got that fucking email and didn't know what to think other than it was for sure over!" His hand slides through his hair in aggravation.
"You fucked her?" I'm disgusted by this.
Don't ask me how in the right fuck I have the nerve to be disgusted, but I am. He cheated on me!
I cannot deal with this week.
"We didn't fuck." The pathetically small tone projected from him almost makes me want to punch him. It's like he's hoping his sad voice will soothe the burn of being cheated on.
"What did you do?" My eyes narrow. I seriously can't believe this.
"Does that matter?" He's looking around like he's planning an escape.
"Yes! Yes it does. You said it was just me and you. You wouldn't see anyone else. You fucking cheated on me, Justin!" I slam my hand on the table.
"I'm cheating?" he shouts. "What the fuck are you doing? What you're doing isn't cheating?" He looks appalled. I look appalled. This is fucking stupid! I stand and he grabs my hand. "Sit down." With his yank, I fumble down into the booth.
Fucking asshole.
I raise my hand and slap him, hard, as hard as I can drunkenly manage. Ohhhs fill the bar as I storm out of the door.
Humiliated and heartbroken, Lilith kept what Justin had done to her to herself. Especially because she didn't want to give Ian the satisfaction that he'd ruined their relationship.
Justin text and left repeat messages of apologies, but with the burn in her heart too fresh, she couldn't even think about him without crying.
When she met up with Ashley a few nights later, she was going to tell her until Ashley started talking about him.
"I meant to ask you." Ashley smirked at her. "Did you know Justin only deals with high-end cases?"
"What's that mean?" Lilith asked confused.
"Celebrity suits and shit. He's Rayne Bronson's lawyer for some car dealer lawsuit or something. He knows tons of celebrities. We need to become best friends so I can sell those fuckers my work."
"He's Rayne's lawyer right now?" She cocked her eyebrow, having no idea the woman he messed around with was a celebrity.
"Yeah, and Rayne's fuckin' hot. Did you see her in that vampire movie? In that coat he got you, you look like her."
"Are you serious?" Lilith snapped.
"Sorry," Ashley snickered. "I think she's hot." She shrugged.
"Yeah, she is." Lilith muttered and headed for the bathroom before Ashley saw the tears.
Talk of Justin was ceased, but it didn't take long for Ashley to find out what happened through Tomo a few days later.
"Hello?" Lilith huffed answering her call.
"Why didn't you tell me about Justin?" Ashley snapped and tears welled in Lilith's eyes; she quickly walked away from Ian.
"What's the point?"
"He's a fucking wreck about what happened," Ashley said softly. "Did you even let him explain?"
"He fucking cheated, Ashley," she quietly growled.
"Yeah, I know, I know, but…" Ashley sighed. "Do you know the story?"
"He told me. Look, I don't have time for this, okay? Ian needs me in Paris for the next week and I'm packing."
"Babe," Ashley huffed. "Justin's a good guy. And you're in love with him."
&nb
sp; Silence filled the line until Ashley heard Lilith's quiet sob.
"Fuck, Lilith," she groaned. "Talk to him."
"I have to go. I'll see you next week maybe." Lilith hung up before she started bawling.
Ian knew something happened, but he didn't know the details or know it was partially his fault. He confessed to the text and apologized, telling her he'd call Justin and explain his stupidity. It wasn't needed though, the damage was already done.
Ian picked up on Lilith's depressed mood and it both elated him and broke his heart that Justin somehow upset her enough that they weren't seeing each other. Lilith wanted to tell Ian, she wanted his comfort, but he'd made it clear he didn't want to know about her relationship with Justin.
At the airport waiting to board their flight to Paris, Ian held Lilith's hand with his laptop in his lap. Lilith glanced at what he was watching, seeing it was some sort of Hollywood entertainment show. Rayne Bronson appeared on the screen and Lilith shifted in her seat to get a good look at her. Suddenly a picture of Justin appeared on the screen next to Rayne. Ian unplugged his headphones so she could hear it.
"Rayne Bronson's new love interest is none other than Justin Borg, lawyer to the stars and to, uh-oh, his client Rayne." The host laughed. "They were spotted sharing this steamy kiss last night after day one in court for Rayne's no more eco cars tirade." A photo of Justin kissing the actress flashed on the screen then the host went on about Rayne's court case.
Showing no emotion, but dying on the inside, Lilith looked forward and Ian kissed the side of her head before plugging in his headphones once again. He now understood what may have happened and couldn't have been happier for it, but there was an ounce of him that felt sadness because he wondered if his jealous blunder was the cause of it.
Lilith's date with Robert Tanaka was at noon and would extend into the night. The sudden ache of sadness she'd been fighting for days began plunging her into lethargy. She grabbed what appeared to be an unopened bottle of aspirin and unscrewed the bottom to get to the pills Caesar gave her. Pills to get her through without feeling depressed, the only downfall was she didn't feel much at all. No happiness, excitement, or depression.
