I was never any better at my own organization, but I at least knew where all of my shit was. I couldn’t even count the times my dad had asked, “Bryn, have you seen my plain black baseball hat?”
Nine times out of ten, the hat he was looking for was in the back of his closet, hidden by the mess.
He would explain to me that even though it was a mess to me, it was organized to him.
Curiosity getting to the best of me, I set my glass down and started up the stairs, stopping at his shut door. There had been no other reason to keep the door shut other than the fact that I didn’t want to look in it every time I left my bedroom. I had no dog or cat that could get in there to ruin something, and I certainly had no roommate I had to worry about.
My hand formed a fist, ready to knock and I laughed at myself. Old habits had me wanting to knock and wait for his approval of my entrance, but I knew it was silly as approval would never come.
I turned the doorknob; the hinges squeaked as I slowly opened it.
Looking around, I was happy to see that not much had changed in his room, thankful that my request to Lida had held true. She maintained it by sweeping and dusting once a month, but that was it. I walked in and opened the blinds to let some light in, the dust that had grown since her last cleaning apparent as the sun's rays hit it. Walking over to the bed, I ran my fingertips across his bedspread and lay down on it, my head on top of his pillows.
I turned over so that I was lying on my stomach, pressing my face into the pillow and breathing in deeply in hopes that I would catch some trace of his scent, but there was nothing.
Tears pricked my eyes as I saw a familiar photo framed on his bedside table. It was a picture of him and me after my high school’s graduation ceremony. My cap and gown was still on. Our eyes sparkled as both of our smiles were wide, and his arms wrapped around my shoulders while a look of pride shined from his face.
“I’m so proud of you, Bryn,” he had said in my ear after the photo had been taken. “I’m proud of everything you have accomplished and the person you have become. No father could be happier than I to have a daughter like you. I love you, always.”
I picked up the picture frame and held it to me as I cried into his pillow.
Every day I missed him, wishing that somehow I could re-live that last morning with him over again. I would have made sure I had told him how much I loved him and hugged him tighter than I had.
At first, a part of me blamed myself for his death. Maybe, just maybe, if he hadn’t reached over to protect me he wouldn’t have been hit with the piece of metal. As hard as it was I had learned over time to accept the fact that it wasn’t my fault my dad had died that day. It was just a tragedy; one that I couldn’t control either way. No matter how hard I wished, or prayed, I would never be able to change that day or get to go back to do it all over again differently.
Because that was the thing about tragedies; they don’t give you a second chance.
Rolling over, I felt something bulky under my back and I sat up, pulling the covers back to reveal a small stack of letters held together by a rubber band. All were addressed to Carter from the hospital that my dad had been at.
Why would Carter essentially hide a stack of envelopes addressed to him in my father’s room? Part of me wanted to open them; after all, they were in my house. Guilt ran through me as my fingers grazed the already-opened envelope and I stopped, unable to invade Carter’s privacy. Not wanting to open something that wasn’t mine, I decided I would wait and talk to Carter about them the next time I saw him. Placing the envelope back exactly how I had found it in the stack, I stood up to leave, knowing I had to get going.
I wasn’t necessarily looking forward to today. I had to work in a half an hour, meet Charlotte for coffee, and then go to Ashton’s house. He had texted me in the morning, asking if I would come with him and Grace when they go to talk to his dad Monday night.
I took another glance around the room which was growing darker as the sun was setting and shut the door behind me.
---
Don't forget the coffee shop after work today! Charlotte's text read.
I was running late that morning and the traffic downtown was awful. With it being the beginning of June, Tybee Island held its annual “Tybee Island Tour of Homes,” something that tourists and local residents looked forward to all year long. People who didn’t participate in it weren’t very fond of it though as the traffic was awful with people trying to get in and out of Savannah. The only incentive was the fact I would see Tyler. He had texted me this morning saying he would come visit during my shift, and I knew that I would be checking my watch throughout my five hours there, counting down the minutes until I saw him.
The last time I had seen him was the day after my attack, and we had only texted back and forth a few times; something between us slightly off. I knew I had offended him and as soon as I had re-evaluated what had been said and I wish I could have taken it back.
He said that he understood that I was under a lot of understandable stress that day from what had happened and that he would give me any space I needed.
My phone buzzed again as I walked into the restaurant, my eyes averting the bustling people around me, not wanting to begin work until I had to.
Did you get my text? Charlotte texted me again.
I shook my head and replied, Yeah, sorry, was running late for work, I'll see you guys later!
Walking into the main area of the restaurant, I looked around for any glimpse of him. When all I saw were people I didn’t know, I felt myself go into work mode, needing to concentrate on my job. If he showed up, he showed up. If he didn’t, well, I didn’t know what that would mean. I found myself constantly looking at the door and out the bay windows, hoping to see him walk around the corner and into the restaurant.
I checked my phone once more before slipping it into my back pocket when I saw there were no new texts.
He never showed and after a long day of work, I got into my car quickly, wanting to get to the coffee shop. Maybe Charlotte and Eva would know why he hadn’t shown up. Maybe he got tied up at work and wasn’t able to text me. I hated how paranoid I was becoming; I didn’t want to be that kind of person. I pushed the thoughts of Tyler to the back of my mind and concentrated on having a nice coffee date with Charlotte and Eva.
Pulling into the parking lot, I saw Charlotte's car and noticed they were sitting in the same place as last time.
“Hey, guys!” I said after I had placed my order at the counter.
“Hey, Bryn,” Charlotte said with a smile across her lips as I sat down. “I meant to text you earlier to tell you about Tyler, but I figured you had enough texts from me this morning!” she joked as my drink was set down in front of me.
“What do you mean tell me about Tyler? Everything okay?”
“Oh! He just had an appointment this morning, no big deal,” she said, sipping her drink from her mug. “He has sketchy cell service, and I had already been texting him so he wanted me to relay the message.”
“So, Bryn,” Eva started as she picked at her French manicure.
I eyed her suspiciously. “So, Eva?”
She smiled and took a deep breath. “Okay, I have a problem.” She straightened up in her seat and flipped her hair off her shoulder. “One of my bridesmaids turned out to be a complete bitch.”
Straight to the point as ever. “Oh?” I asked.
“Yeah, well, long story short, she confessed that during the last two years of our friendship, she has had a thing for Jason. She told me that when I had asked her to be one of my bridesmaids, the thing that made her say yes was the thought that she could possibly get closer to Jason. So essentially, I fired her. And now I’m short a bridesmaid.”
“That's awful, Eva! That really sucks.”
She nodded. “So that's where I’m hoping you will come in.”
“What do you mean?” I asked, not sure I knew where this was going.
“You totally don't have to s
ay yes because I know we don’t really know each other that well, but would you want to be in my wedding? You don't have to do much, the dresses are already paid for, and you just have to get sized. Charlotte’s doing hair and makeup and really, all you have to do is show up for the rehearsal dinner and the ceremony and get wasted at the reception.”
I was honestly flattered by her invitation.
“Oh, and of course, the bachelorette party! That's a must!” she said. “Which, by the way, we need to get planning.” She pointed out to Charlotte.
Turning back to me, she asked, “So what do you say?”
“I say of course!”
Charlotte clapped and stood up, hugging me. “See, Eva, I told you it would work out!”
“If it’s okay with you, we can come over on Saturday with the dresses. Charlotte is going to pin them and fix them herself.”
I shrugged. “Yeah, that’s fine.” I pulled my phone out of my back pocket to open up my calendar. “When did you say the date of your wedding was?”
“Well, it was going to be in three months, but now after every little complication imaginable that could happen, I had to change it, and it’s now a month from Saturday.”
My eyes widened. “This Saturday?!” I knew nothing about weddings, but I knew enough to guess that a month was barely enough time to put together the type of wedding Eva was going to be having.
She nodded. “They had a problem with the church and I didn’t want to wait another six months just so I could have it there, so we’re going to have the ceremony at a small church on Tybee Island. It’s the only time that everyone could all be here together. Pretty fucking insane, huh?”
“Everything will work out, I promise,” Charlotte interjected.
Eva smiled. “I called Charlotte in a panic when I found out I had to switch things around. Not even a day later, she showed up outside mine and Jason’s room with a binder full of information, taking over as my wedding planner.”
Charlotte smiled. “My wedding gift to you.”
We talked more about dates for the bachelorette party and wedding shower. I started to get excited as I had never really been involved in anything like this before.
“Oh, and you’ll be walking down the aisle with Miles. Charlotte and Tyler are the maid of honor and best man, so they’ll walk down together; hope you don’t mind.”
“I don’t mind at all. Thank you for thinking of me,” I said as we walked up to the counter to pay the bill.
“So we’ll be at your house Saturday at ten then?” Eva asked as we walked to our cars.
“Sounds good!” I replied, piling into my car and making a mental note for the dress fitting date.
I waved good-bye as I pulled out and started my short drive home.
Turning onto the highway, I heard my phone ring, and I shuffled around trying to dig it out of my purse.
“Hello?” I answered when I finally found it.
“Bryn? It's Tyler.”
The butterflies were back.
“Hey! What's up?”
“Sorry I didn’t visit you today, I had something that I needed to do. Did I miss anything?”
I laughed. “No, just a couple spilled drinks and I got hit on by a couple of old men, but that’s about it.”
“Ahh, I’m sorry I missed that,” he said. “Listen, I was wondering what you were doing tonight?”
My mind raced as I tried to remember if I had anything I had to do.
I was about to say my night was open when I remembered…Ashton.
“Shit, I told Ashton I would go with him to talk to his dad about something. I kind of have to go,” I said, disappointed.
“Well, that sucks. Is everything okay?”
“Yes and no. Maybe I’ll be able to tell you what it was all about later.”
“All right, well, let me know if anything changes. I have an extra concert ticket for tonight's The Black Kings concert, and I think you would find them pretty awesome.”
Now I was jealous and frustrated that Ashton had made tonight the night that he and Grace would talk to Carter.
“Yeah, for sure. I'm sorry I can't make it.”
“Next time.”
---
Everything was going well at Ashton’s dads. We had ordered in a pizza, and I made sure Ashton had picked up some beer— anything to help Carter relax. I knew this wasn’t going to be something easy to hear, but his reaction was one I hadn’t seen coming. Ashton asked us to all sit down in the living room. I squeezed his hand as he passed me, sitting next to a very nervous looking Grace. Hell, I was nervous.
Ashton and Carter were talking about his plans for the future and Ashton emphasized how important it was for him to go to school. I knew Ashton was passionate about staying in college, and by him telling his dad ahead of time, I only hoped he would know his son was still on track. The feeling in the room was light; the conversation good. And then Ashton told him.
“She's what?” Carter asked.
Grace was sitting next to Ashton while I sat next to Carter. Something Ashton thought would help keep his dad calm.
“Grace is pregnant,” Ashton repeated.
Carter's lips pulled into a tight line and his eyes turned angry, something I had never recalled seeing with him before.
“I want you out, Ashton.”
Ashton's head fell at his father's words. After a few moments, he looked up. “I understand you're upset, Dad, but please don't…”
“You don't live here anymore, Ashton Denning. I want you out of here, now!”
“Dad!”
“I said get out!” Carter yelled.
Ashton and Grace stood up as he looked at his dad with pained eyes. Grace had started to cry silently as her hands rested on her stomach. I got up and pulled her into a hug.
Ashton looked back to me, and my heart ached for him. This had to be killing all three of them.
“Carter, don't kick him out,” I said, speaking up.
“Bryn, do not tell me what to do,” he said as he got up and walked out of the room.
I rubbed my face with my hands, hurt by Carter’s reaction, and I knew what I now had to do. I looked back at Ashton and saw him start to walk out of the house with Grace. I heard them talking and gave them a moment before running out the door.
“Ashton!” I yelled as I stepped outside.
Ashton was leaning up against my car, his arms crossed and his face sunken.
“I'm so sorry, Ashton,” I said as he wrapped his arms around me.
“It's not your fault, Bryn,” he said into my hair.
I nodded as I wrapped my arms tighter around his small yet muscular waist and watched as Grace pulled out of the driveway.
“Where's Grace going?”
He pulled away. “Home. She isn’t feeling very well.”
“Why didn't you go with her?” I asked, confused.
“She didn't want me to,” he said as he combed his hands through his hair and walked over to his bike. Kicking it with great force, it flew a few feet. “FUCK!” he yelled. “Everything is going to shit. My dad doesn't want me, my girlfriend doesn't even know if she wants me. Hell, even my baby probably won't want me.”
I walked over to him and cupped his face in my hands, “Listen to me. This is a shitty time, yes. But I promise it will get better.” We made eye contact, and I knew I had his full attention. “When my dad died, do you remember what you said to me?”
“Some gay, inspirational quote?”
I smirked. “This will pass.” His face relaxed, and I released his face. “Cliché, but it got me through everything.”
“You sap.”
“I'm a girl. What'd you expect?” I shoved my hands into my back pockets. “Go get whatever you need. You can stay at my house until all of this blows over.”
He ran back inside. I opened my driver's side door and saw the pile of envelopes sitting on the passenger's seat. “Shit!” I had wanted to talk to Carter about them, to figure out why they had been placed
in my dad's bed.
Ashton came out a few minutes later with two bags, one in each hand. “Are you sure about this? I don't know how long it will be.”
I shrugged. “Of course.”
When we got home I grabbed one of his bags and carried it downstairs to the unused basement, which hadn’t been used since Olivia was here.
“I hope you don't mind staying down here?” I asked, sitting his bag down.
“No. Hell, if it weren't for you, I’d be wandering the streets.”
I was putting new sheets on the mattress when Ashton stood up and answered his phone. He returned seconds later. “Hey, some friends are going out for some drinks, and I think I'm going to go too. Want to come?” he asked, slipping his leather jacket on.
“Nah, I have some stuff to get done here, and by the way, you can come and go as you please,” I said.
“Thanks, Bryn. I guess I will see you later then!”
“See ya!” I said, turning around and finishing up in the den.
When I was done, I walked into the living room, noticing the time. It was only four-thirty and my hands were automatically curling around my phone, ready to dial his number. Sitting on the couch with the phone to my ear, I played with the zipper of my jacket.
“Hello?”
“Hey, it’s Bryn…so do you still have that extra ticket?”
---
Tyler was right on time and as I climbed into his car, buckling the seat belt around me, I watched as he put a CD in the player.
“Is this the band we’re seeing tonight?” I asked as he scanned through the songs.
He nodded. “I just got this CD about two weeks ago. It hasn't been released yet,” he said, putting his finger to his lips.
“What, did you steal it or something?” I joked.
“No.” He laughed. “The band gave me the CD after I helped with their gig.”
Is he being serious? “Really?”
He turned onto the highway. “Yeah, I’ve been their main guy during their tours here in Savannah. They know how much I enjoy their music. Everything they have written is something I can completely relate to.”
More Than You Know Page 14
