by Beth Maria
“Maisie, leave her alone. Now is not the time,” Jake grits out.
“No, now is the time. I’m not letting her get away with this. Her mom is freaking out right now, I’m freaking out, and not to mention that you’ve been pacing for the last twenty-four hours. That is not acceptable! She needs to realize what’s she’s done by pulling this little stunt.”
Before Jake can reply, I butt in, “I’m sorry,”
“Oh, you hear that? She said she’s sorry! Chloe, you tried to freaking overdose! Why have you been taking drugs? And don’t give me the ‘I don’t know’ bullshit, because that won’t cut it with me. I want the truth for once,” Maisie demands, putting her hands on her hips, her eyes daring me to lie to her again. I’m not going to lie to her anymore. I’m done lying.
Today is going to have to be the day that I finally tell her what happened to me. She needs to understand the reasons why I did what I did.
I turn toward Jake and see pity in his eyes. Eurgh, I hate pity, though I will take that look over the look I’m sure I will receive after I tell him that I’m pregnant. I know the look I receive then will be pure disgust.
“Jake, could you give us a minute please?”
He looks torn, like he doesn’t know whether to stay or go. In the end, he just nods and walks out, leaving Maisie and me staring each other down.
“Are you going to sit down or stand over there shooting daggers at me?” I ask, getting a little irritated with the look she’s giving me. I know I deserve it, but I think I understand now. She doesn’t have to keep doing it.
“I’m fine where I am, thank you.”
“Okay. You really want to know the reason that I touch drugs?” She just nods her head. “I take it that you know that Jake and I used to sleep with each other?” Again, she just nods. “We were stupid one time, and well, I ended up getting pregnant, and you’re brother didn’t take it very well when I told him. It was the reason why he stopped talking to me, and why up until a few months ago, we didn’t get along. A year ago yesterday I had an abortion because Jake told me that I had to get rid of it. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. I didn’t want an abortion. I wanted my baby, except I would have had to bring it up alone. I wasn’t ready to be a single parent, and Jake didn’t exactly leave me much choice. He told me I was to get rid of it, so I got rid of it, and ever since then it’s been haunting me. I can’t live my life when I don’t feel like I deserve to. It’s sad, but drugs are my only escape, and then when the anniversary of my abortion came along, I spiraled out of control. I didn’t see myself ever getting better, and I just couldn’t cope anymore, Maisie. I’m miserable, and I don’t deserve to live when my baby didn’t even get a chance.” I feel wetness on my cheeks. I don’t rub it away; I let it soak my skin. It’s a painful reminder, one that I welcome.
Maisie runs to me, pulling me into her embrace and rubbing my back in comfort. “I’m so sorry that you had to do that alone, Chloe. You should have come to me. I would have helped you any way that I could have. You know that, right?”
I feel my shoulder getting wet from her tears. This just makes me cry harder. Why didn’t I go to her for help? I knew deep down that she would have been there for me. I was just so scared with the possibility that she would be disappointed in me. I should have known that wouldn’t have been the case. “I should have. I know that now. I was just so confused at the time,” I sob.
“I’m here for you now. You don’t have to go through this alone anymore. I won’t allow it.”
We both stay like this until our tears have run out. My eyes are stinging, and my headache has intensified if that’s possible. I pull back, laying down on the bed, tiredness creeping over me. I don’t know how I’m still tired after sleeping for nearly twenty-four hours, but I am.
I yawn, trying to fight sleep.
“You should get some sleep. I’ll let Jake know that you’re tired, and we will come back to see you tomorrow. I’m going to warn you that you’re mom will probably be here as well. She’s at Jesse’s mom’s right now, getting some sleep after driving all through the night. I’ll let her know that you’re okay.”
“Okay. I’ll see you tomorrow.” By this point, my eyelids are closing.
I see Maisie stand up and start walking to the door.
“Oh, and Maisie?” She turns back around to face me. “Thank you for understanding.” She gives me a smile then leaves the room, the door closing quietly behind her. The next thing I know, my eyes are closed, and I’m dreaming about a little boy running around being chased by his dad. They both turn around to look at me. It’s Jake with a little boy the spitting image of him. I sleep peacefully for the first time in ages, dreaming sweet dreams.
Chapter 15
Chloe
I’ve been in the hospital for three days now, and today is the day that I’m finally being discharged. I’ve had enough of hospitals to last me a lifetime, though I’ll be back in the next six months. The doctors have said I can go home as long as I rest for the next week, and they told me that I have to see a therapist. I didn’t argue for once. I know that this is my only option if I want to get over the depression that has ruined my life for the last year. I’m not going to be able to do it myself, so I need to seek medical help once and for all.
“Have you got everything that you need?” My mother asks for the tenth time in the last twenty minutes.
I sigh and turn to face her. “Yes, Mother. I didn’t have much here to begin with. Stop worrying.”
My mother’s face turns sad, and she walks toward me. She cups her hands on my cheeks. “I will never stop worrying, especially after everything that has happened.”
I instantly feel bad for being annoyed. I’m all she has left apart from her parents, and a few days ago, if I hadn’t been found, then she wouldn’t even have me. She has every right to worry about me.
“I’m sorry, Mom. I truly am.”
“I know you are, honey. Come on. Let’s get out of here.” She leans forward and kisses my forehead. That little bit of affection makes me feel happier.
I pick up my bags, and we head out to my mom’s car.
The ride back to the dorms is quiet. It gives me time to think about the same thing that I’ve thought over and over for the past three days- how to tell Jake… I still haven’t come to a conclusion. I’m just going to have to be brave and tell him. The worst that can happen is the same as what happened before, or the best that can happen is that he’s happy about it. After last time, though, I’m not hopeful about the latter.
I’m so lost in my thoughts that I don’t realize when we pull up outside of the dorms. My mom is just staring at me with a thoughtful look on her face. I haven’t told her about my news yet. After having to explain why I did what I did, I thought that was enough news for one day. When she got over the shock, she was quite upset, upset that I didn’t go to her for help or advice. I explained that I thought she would have been angry with me. She agreed, but then proceeded to tell me that she would have helped me any way that she could have. That’s two people closest to me that have said that now, making me realize that I was completely wrong. I’m not going to dwell on it. It won’t help me move on, and I have my unborn child to think about now. I can’t be stressed, and I don’t want to go back to the pits of hell that I was in.
“I’m going to go rest for a bit. I’ll see you later?” I ask before getting out the car.
“Yes, honey. Anna is cooking dinner for all of us. I’ll be around to collect you and Maisie at five.”
I give my mom a quick hug, get out of the car, and head up to my dorm. It feels like people are staring at me when I know that’s not possible. It’s just my insecurities playing up.
I open my dorm room door and halt in my steps. Jake is sitting on my bed, looking through his cell phone…
Jake
As soon as I hear the door open, I look up. There she is, staring right at me, only she doesn’t look happy to see me. She looks scared, like a deer ca
ught in the headlights. Why does she look scared? I haven’t seen her since she woke up three days ago. Maisie told me that she wasn’t ready to see me yet and to give her space. So I have. When I found out that she would be discharged today, I knew I had to see her. I had to find out why she was avoiding me when we were supposed to be trying to make things work, and I missed her. I’ve missed her so much.
I know that it has something to do with her being pregnant. She hasn’t mentioned it to me yet, and I haven’t to her either, but I’m not stupid. I know that she will tell me when the time is right. She’s just scared of my reaction, though things are going to be different this time. Nevertheless, she doesn’t know this. I know I should put her out of her misery, but I want to do the right thing this time. I want her to tell me the news, so that I can kiss her and let her know that I will be there for her whatever she decides to do.
“Hi,” I say quietly, not knowing what else to say.
“Hi,” she replies timidly, slowly moving into the room and closing the door behind her.
She stands there awkwardly, not knowing what to do with herself. I hate that I’m making her feel this way. We were fine until a few days ago when everything seemed to go to shit. This is her room; she shouldn’t be feeling awkward.
“How’re you feeling?” What a stupid question to ask, Jake. Of course she’s not okay. She’s got a lot going on, and she just got out of the hospital. I’m such a dickhead!
“I’m fine. I’m going to get straight to it. What are you doing here, Jake?”
My eyes widen at the impatient tone that she just used with me.
“Erm… I-I wanted to see how you were. Maisie told me to give you space, and I did. I can’t do that anymore though, Chloe. I miss you,” I tell her, stumbling over my words.
Her eyes soften the tiniest bit before they harden again, but I noticed it. This is just a way to protect herself, though she has no need to. I’m not going to hurt her. She nods then moves to sit on the chair at her desk.
“I think we need to talk, Jake. It’s important.” I watch as she wrings her hands together, a sign that she’s nervous. I want to take her hands in mine and tell her that everything will be fine, but I need to give her time to tell me herself.
I don’t say anything; I just wait for her to start talking.
She swallows, taking her time before she finally speaks. “I received some news at the hospital.”
“What kind of news?” I ask quietly, moving to the edge of the bed so I’m directly facing her. I can’t wait to hear her say it. I’m so excited. I know that she’s going to be confused by my reaction.
“Before I tell you, I just want to say one thing. I don’t want you to be angry, okay?” Chloe bites her lip, her hand wringing getting faster. This is it. This is when she finally tells me what I’ve been dying to hear her say for days. I don’t blame her for thinking that I would be angry. I haven’t exactly left her thinking otherwise after last time, have I?
“Okay,” I tell her honestly. There’s not a chance in hell I’m getting angry over this.
She swallows again before telling me. “I’m twelve weeks pregnant, Jake, and you’re the father.”
I feel the enormous grin take over my face, and my heart explodes with love- love for Chloe and our unborn child. Chloe’s eyes widen, obviously in shock from my reaction.
“You’re okay with it?” she whispers, not believing my reaction.
“Of course I’m okay with it. Baby, I told you that I regreted the decision I made last time. I’m not going to make the same mistake again. I’m going to be there for you whatever you decide to do. If you decide to keep it, then I will be over the moon and look after you both until the day I die. And if you decide that you don’t want it, well, I’ll be upset, but again, I will be there with you this time. You won’t have to do anything on your own ever again,” I tell her honestly, taking a hold of her hand and rubbing small circles on her skin.
Her eyes fill with tears, her body shaking with sobs.
“Please don’t cry, Princess. I hate it when you cry,” I tell her, kneeling in front of her.
“I’m not crying because I’m sad,” she replies through her tears.
“Why are you crying then?”
“I’m crying because I’m happy. I expected you to be angry with me for being so stupid. I was so scared that you would react the exact same way as last time, but here you are, so happy about it. It just threw me for a loop, I guess. This also proves to me that when you said you would change, you were actually telling the truth. You really want to be here with us? Because I don’t think I can get rid of this baby, Jake,” she says, pleading with me with her eyes. It breaks my heart that she still thinks that I would leave her. That tough exterior that I saw her put up is completely down now, letting me see the vulnerable side of her.
“Yes, I really want to be here with you both. I want nothing more than to watch your stomach grow with my child, hold your hair when you have morning sickness, be in the crossfire of your mood swings, and last but not least, watch you give birth to our child. I know that is going to be the best day of my life, looking down at our child, who I hope looks exactly like you.” My hands are cupped around her cheeks right now, rubbing my thumbs back and forth while her tears soak my fingers.
“Oh, Jake, you’re definitely sure? I don’t want you to feel like you have to because I will bring this baby up by myself if I have to. I don’t want you to feel trapped.” Her eyes are sad, looking into mine and still not trusting a word I’m saying. How can I make this clear for her that I’m not leaving?
“Chloe, there is no way you’re bringing this baby up by yourself. I will be next to you every step of the way, and not because I feel trapped but because I don’t. I’m over the moon that you’re carrying my child. I just wish you would believe that.”
“Jake…” she whispers.
I halt her saying any more. I know exactly what she’s going to say. “Baby, last time I wasn’t ready to grow up. As soon as I heard the word baby, I panicked and did the unforgiveable. You know I’ll never forgive myself for that, however I can’t turn back the time. All we can do is move forward together… that is, if you will have me? I love you more than anything in the whole world, Princess. You are it for me, the person who I want to spend the rest of my life with. I know this isn’t exactly the order that it should go, but it doesn’t matter. All that matters is the love we share, the love we have for our unborn child. With that being said, I need to know, can we give us another shot? Will you be my girlfriend now?” I hold my breath, waiting for her to reply. Chloe’s answer will either break us or make us. It may be too soon after everything that’s happened this last week, but I need to know. No matter what her answer is, though, I will still be a part of my child’s life. Nothing will change that.
“Yes, I would like that,” Chloe says after what feels like minutes.
I breathe a sigh of relief. Without replying, I lean forward and plant my lips on hers. God, I’ve missed these lips. I’ve been deprived of them for over a week. I pull back to stare at her beautiful face. Her eyes are still closed, savoring the kiss we just shared. A small smile pulls at my lips, knowing that I’m affecting her just like she’s affecting me. I lean forward again, going for a deeper kiss. She responds straight away, both of us hungry for each other. I let go of her face and run my hands through her soft hair, gently pulling. At the same time, Chloe locks her arms around my neck, bringing me in closer to her. It’s not close enough though.
I pick her up, and she instinctively wraps her legs around my waist, our lips not once losing contact. I turn around and gently lie her down on her bed before hovering over her. My hand snakes down her body, resting on her peachy ass. I give it a gentle squeeze, causing her to moan in my mouth, the sound vibrating straight through to my core. My cock springs to life, straining against my jeans. To show her what she does to me, I grind into her, letting my cock rub her in the right place. That causes another moan to leave her mou
th, making my already hard cock even harder.
It’s been so long since I’ve had Chloe like this, not since the night that our unborn child was conceived. I’ve missed being this close to her.
“Jake, I need you,” Chloe pants into my mouth, her lips ghosting over mine.
“I need you too, baby. I don’t want to rush it though. I want to savor every single part of your body, over and over again,” I tell her, my voice sounding husky with desire even to my own ears.
I hear her whimper. Pulling her up, I slowly take off her t-shirt, tossing it onto the floor. I take in her lacy sky blue bra. As good as it looks on her, what’s underneath will look even better. I’m sure of it. Unclasping her bra, I take it off, leaving her pert breasts right in front of my face. I take one of her pebbled nipples into my mouth, my hand going to her other one and giving it attention as well. Chloe hisses through her teeth. I let go, moving back to stare into her eyes, which are clouded with desire.
“Did I hurt you?”
Chloe shakes her head no. “No, you didn’t. They’re just sensitive, but it felt good.”
“Just tell me if it hurts, okay, baby?” I need to remember that her body is going to be sensitive from now on.
“Okay. Now carry on. I need you, Jake,” she pleads.
I stand up, pulling her trousers and panties down her legs before tossing them on the pile with the rest of her clothes. Lying before me is the epitome of perfection. I know I’ll never think of her as anything less than perfection.
I rip my clothes off in record time, needing to feel her body against mine again. Hovering on top of her, I take the time to stare into her eyes, seeing the love that I feel for her portrayed in her own eyes.
