by Pamela Wells
Jim forced his mind back to the present situation.
“Josh you’re going to have to clean your stuff out of the guest room and change the sheets, Grandma and Grandpa Anderson are arriving some time this afternoon. I’m going to have a quick shower and get going to the police station.” Lacey started to clear the table and load the dishwasher.
“I’ll clean the bathroom up when you’re done dad and give the living room and quick clean up too, since Grandma and Grandpa are coming.”
“Oh honey, please don’t bother. I really would rather you and Josh get busy with the posters. Besides, you know your Grandmother, she’ll want something to do herself, and if she can clean the house for us then she’ll feel useful, so just let her do that.”
“Good idea.” Lacey gave a small, but weak smile as she put down the dishes and went to put on her shoes.
Chapter 10
Laura started reading Christine’s journal and was surprised at the amount of anger that came through the pages.
Mom insisted on taking me out of school and homeschooling me! I HATE this. I think she’s crazy! I won’t get to see my friends and Phil and I were just starting to get to know each other. Well, that’s over now! Mom doesn’t really want to home school me, she just wants to control me! She wants me to be her puppet! Sending us to our rooms for “independent study time”. What a joke that is! Mom never even looks at our work.
She suggested I take up journaling and bought me a few notebooks, I know she’ll never read them. She can’t be bothered and it might take time away from her ‘TV shows’. I hate her, I hate her, I hate her!!! Mom won’t let me leave the house at all. I can’t even go sit outside in the backyard, for crying out loud! I am a total and complete prisoner here. This is insane! Gerhard gets to go out a little bit, he doesn’t even seem to mind being home schooled. He’s such a wimp and never stands up to mom. Hopefully I can convince him to help me get out of here at some point. I need money though. Can’t get by without any cash. Mom is real tight with her money but I know where she keeps it, so maybe I’ll just sneak a little now and then. Not so much that she will notice, but for me to have enough to escape. I will leave this place, this PRISON as soon as I can!
Laura had some friends who home schooled their children, and although she had never done it herself she had a lot of respect for those who did. She saw her friends who raised their children with strong Christian values and morals. They would network together with other families that home schooled and have field trips together. The children had plenty of opportunities for socializing, even getting together for sports. For these families home schooling was an act of love and a desire of the parents to see their children develop in the best possible way.
The motives for Hilda however, were obviously quite different. There were no efforts to mix with other home schooled children, quite the opposite was true. According to Christine’s journal, Hilda seemed determined to isolate Christine and keep her away from all others. The girl WAS basically a prisoner; the only thing they didn’t do was chain her in the basement. If they had, I wonder if she would still be here, the poor girl.
Christine was allowed to watch TV and had her own set in her room. This was her only form of escape. She would spend hours watching movies.
Laura continued to read Christine’s journal:
I love the movies. I want to be an actress one day. WHEN I get out of here that is.
I’ll go all the way to Hollywood and I’m sure some smart talent scout will see my potential and I’ll be a star before you know it. I’ll change my name though, Christine Bloone doesn’t sound like a star’s name. I’ll have to come up with something catchier, a name that people won’t forget. My life will be so glamorous. Mom will be jealous of me and try to visit but there is no way she is getting into my house! Once I leave this place, I will have nothing to do with her. I will tell the public my parents both died when I was young. Gerhard will probably be so caught up in the hotel business he won’t have time to come visit or even want to. I’ll probably even get my own star on the Hollywood walk of Fame! Yes, then I will truly be happy. I’ll wear fancy clothes, eat at fancy restaurants and best of all, I will be away from my mother! My friends from school will remember me and be jealous. I might let some of them visit, we’ll see. I’ll have new friends by then.
My whole life will be different. I just have to save up some money and figure a way to escape. I WILL make this happen. I will be famous, glamorous, and beautiful! I just know it!!
Laura felt sad for the younger Christine. She just wanted to get away from her mother and make something of her life. Her head was in the clouds. I wonder what really happened to her.
She wrote how Gerhard and her would occasionally sit and play board games or cards together in the evenings. There was a snapshot of Christine and Gerhard pasted in the journal. It was a picture of the two of them sitting on the floor playing cards. Laura studied the picture, looking for some sort of clue as to who this girl really was.
Her basic build, her hair and eye color were the same as Laura’s. There was a resemblance, but there was something in the girl’s eyes that was different from Laura’s.
Christine had a lost and lonely look to her. In the picture she was smiling but the smile didn’t reach her eyes. There was such a sad look to her that it melted Laura’s heart, it made her wish she could reach right into the photograph, pull the girl out into the room and hug her. Did your father ever hug you, Christine? Did Hilda ever hug you? Did they ever tell you they loved you? DID they love you?
Gerhard looked very much like he did today, just slightly slimmer without the protruding stomach and just as Laura suspected, a face full of freckles. He looked a little happier than Christine. Laura suspected he found more happiness outside the house where he wasn’t under Hilda’s thumb the way Christine was.
Christine wrote about her friends. It didn’t sound like she had a lot of friends, only a couple of girl friends that she never brought home. She wrote how she was embarrassed of her overweight and overbearing mother and didn’t want them to meet her.
Christine would much rather hang out at the mall with her friends where she learned the skill of shop lifting. Even though there was enough money in the family for anything she wanted, Christine felt a rush of adrenaline every time she stole something. She also rationalized it by thinking her mother wouldn’t buy it for her anyway.
The next few pages were more complaints about her mother and again stressing how much she hated her. Laura skimmed through until she found another section that tugged at her heart.
Mom just isn’t happy with anything I do. Gerhard seems able to make her happy, at least some of the time. Maybe she will loosen up a bit on me if I do something that makes her happy. Hmmmm, what can I do? I know the perfect thing! Mom is so fussy on how she wants the house clean. She’s doing it less often now than she used to. Because of her ‘shows’ I’m sure. Well what if I just clean the house for her. Go through each room, polish every mirror, shine every window, vacuum and dust everywhere. I’ll scrub out the bathrooms and make sure the kitchen is polished and neat. Yes, that’s a good idea. Mom will be so pleased that I did all that work without asking that surely she will be pleased with me. Who knows, she might even let me go outside a bit.
The next section of the journal was written after Christine had cleaned the house.
She wrote about how hard she worked in each room. How with each room her expectations of her mother’s response would build. However, she clearly did not get the response she was expecting.
I told mom I cleaned the house today. She was so busy watching TV she didn’t even notice. But I told her how I cleaned and scrubbed and worked to make the whole house clean for her. Did she thank me? Did she smile and say what a good daughter I was? NO, of course not. She took me through every room and instead of praising me for the work I DID, all she did was show me what I missed. She complained the entire time!
Not once did she thank me for doing such a
huge job on my own without being told. Not once did she smile at me and act proud of her daughter. She was horrible! I will NEVER
do anything for her again unless she makes me. I won’t volunteer to do anything. There’s no point, she won’t appreciate it anyway.
Overall the journals were a collection of a girl’s complaints about her mother.
From what Laura could understand many of those complaints were justified. She couldn’t imagine treating Lacey that way. Children needed discipline, most definitely, but they also needed respect, and most importantly, love. To raise a child without love and affection is the cruelest thing of all. It made Laura wonder how Hilda herself had been raised. How much love and affection was she shown?
Christine did write about her escape attempt. She wrote how she snuck into her mother and brother’s room as often as she could and looked for money. Anything she could find that might not be missed. Whether it was spare change laying on the dresser, or a five dollar bill from a wallet or purse. She would also regularly check the sofa cushions for change that would fall out of Gerhard’s pockets. Stuff was always falling out of his pockets when he sat on the couch. She would add the coins to her savings. She knew it might take awhile but she also knew that she shouldn’t rush it. Christine understood that it would be better to wait until she had enough money to buy a bus ticket that would take her far away from here. So the girl saved and planned her escape. She kept a running total of her savings. It looked like she had about five hundred dollars saved up at the time she stopped writing in her journals. Thirty years ago, to a fifteen year old girl, that was an awful lot of money. She must have felt like she had the world at her feet. How her heart must have pounded as she hid in the back of Gerhard’s car and waited for him to drive to work the next morning. Laura wondered what happened to Christine and where she was now.
Laura’s stomach growled and she was reminded that Hilda had threatened her, there was to be no supper for her tonight, as punishment for her escape attempt. Laura wondered if she dared go to the mini fridge in the living room to get herself a drink. She opened her door a crack and peeked out to see if Hilda was still watching TV. Laura could see the back of Hilda’s head as she sat in the reclining chair watching one of her favorite game shows. Her head was tilted to one side and it sounded like she was snoring.
Laura opened the door a little wider and listened cautiously. The woman was definitely snoring; the chair was practically vibrating with the noise the woman was making. Laura tip toed into the room, being careful that her chain didn’t bump into anything, and went over to the fridge. She gently eased the door open and was pleased to see an assortment of soft drinks, juices and bottled water. She helped herself to a bottle of orange juice, apple juice and tomato juice. If she wasn’t allowed to eat, at least this would take the edge off her hunger.
“Just what do you think you’re doing?” Hilda muttered in a gravelly, sleepy voice.
Laura jumped at the sound of Hilda’s voice. She had been concentrating so hard on what she was doing that she hadn’t even noticed when the snoring stopped! Laura fell back and bumped her head on the edge of the fridge. The jolt to her already sore head caused Laura to drop the bottle of apple juice and it broke, spilling out on the floor.
“Oh for goodness sake, now look what you did. Well don’t just sit there feeling sorry for yourself, go get some paper towels and clean up that mess. My goodness, juice is leaking all over the rug. Lucky for you only one of the bottles broke.” Laura rushed to her room to get some paper towels to clean up the mess.
Thankfully it was the apple juice bottle that broke and therefore the easiest to clean up.
Bending over to wipe up the mess caused the blood to go to Laura’s head and brought on a throbbing pain. She touched her sore and swollen face and moaned at the pain she felt there as well.
“Jesus” Laura whispered quietly, help me through this Lord!
“You’re looking kind of pale there girl, sit down and drink some of that orange juice.” Hilda ordered.
“Yes ma’am.” Laura sat down on the couch and opened the bottle of juice, thankful Hilda didn’t make her put it back. She drank the juice down quickly and although it helped, she was still hungry.
“Gerhard should be home soon, why don’t you sit here and watch TV with me while we wait for him?”
Hilda asked it like a question but it was clear by her voice that she didn’t expect an answer so Laura just nodded and stayed on the couch where she proceeded to drink the tomato juice, thankful that Hilda didn’t take that away from her either. Hilda’s words slowly sank in to Laura’s throbbing head, “Gerhard should be home soon.” Laura’s heart started to pound. Hilda will no doubt tell Gerhard about her escape attempt. She remembered his threat to harm her daughter if she didn’t cooperate and she was filled with an overwhelming sense of fear. Laura broke out in a cold sweat and she started to tremble. Silently she prayed, Lord I need Your help, protect my Lacey! Father forgive me for my foolishness and watch over my daughter. I ask that You would place a hedge of protection around my entire family and not let Gerhard anywhere near them. Lord I confess that I am afraid of what this man could do, please help me. At that moment a bible verse came into Laura’s mind that she knew came from God and she was filled with a sense of peace. “Fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is kept safe.”i Laura thanked God for the verse and she knew that He was with her and her family.
As Laura sat there she began to wonder where exactly she was. She gathered from reading Christine’s journals that the school she went to was in Niagara Falls and that the family hotel was in the Falls. She assumed the house was in the same area as well, but where in Niagara Falls? Was it near the downtown area, or was it possible the house was somewhere just outside the city? If Laura were to ever find a way of escape, it could be helpful to know exactly where she was. She tried to think of a way to find out where the house was located. She couldn’t ask Hilda where they lived. She was supposed to have grown up there, after all. Her mind raced to think of a way. An address would be helpful. Her eyes scanned the room for something that might have been mailed to the house when her eyes fell on the TV guide. Of course! Someone like Hilda would definitely have a subscription to the TV guide, probably several other magazines as well.
Laura leaned forward slightly and was pleased to see a bulging magazine rack beside Hilda’s chair. It no doubt contained several soap opera magazines and an assortment of crossword puzzle books.
“Excuse me, Hild…um... I mean, mom, can you pass me the TV guide please?” The word ‘mom’ seemed to catch in Laura’s throat and she had a hard time using it to address Hilda.
“Sure thing, you can look at it all you like, but on this TV we watch what I want” Hilda tossed Laura the TV guide.
Laura quickly caught the magazine and looked at the cover for the address label but was disappointed to find there wasn’t one. Frustrated she sat there and flipped through the pages trying to look interested in what was playing that evening. She waited a few minutes then got up to bring the magazine back over to Hilda.
“Do you mind if I look through some of your magazines?” Laura asked.
“Knock yourself out, but leave the crossword puzzles for me.” Hilda muttered as she stared intently at the TV, totally engrossed in the current game show. It baffled Laura how one could get so caught up in game shows but she was relieved that Hilda wasn’t interested in what she was doing.
Laura eagerly looked through the magazines certain that Hilda must subscribe to a number of them but she was unable to find a single address label. She went through the entire batch of magazines three times hoping she had been mistaken or that the label might have been on the back instead of the front but still couldn’t find anything. Laura felt so disappointed that she couldn’t even feign interest in one of the magazines and simply went back to the couch, sat down and stared at the TV.
“Jesus” Help me through this! She prayed again. It was su
ch a simple little thing.
All she wanted to find was one simple address label. That label wouldn’t have meant her freedom but it would have meant something. It would have given her a glimmer of hope, given her a small thread to hang on to.
“What’s the matter, are none of my magazines up to your standards now? You used to like magazines about the stars.” Hilda held up one of her soap opera magazines.
“You used to love it when Gerhard brought home movie magazines for you. I suppose now you will want him to buy you something else, probably some fancy high society magazine. Well you just be sure to write down the name of the magazine you want on the pad of paper in your room princess and I’m sure he’ll run right out and buy it for you.
Right after he finishes kissing your hand.”
Hilda started laughing as she finished this last sentence but her laughter soon turned to coughing. The coughing got worse and soon it seemed like Hilda was having trouble catching her breath and Laura got to her feet concerned.
“Are you all right Hild…mom?” Laura rushed over to Hilda and gently patted her on the back. Hilda leaned forward gasping and coughing, her face turned bright red.
Laura wasn’t sure what to do.
“Jesus” I need your help here!
She rushed to the mini fridge and got out a bottle of water, opened it and held it out for Hilda to drink. Hilda grabbed hold of the water but much of it spilled out as she shook with the coughing. Hilda managed to get a few sips down and gradually she settled down. Laura went into her bathroom and moistened a face cloth with cold water.
She brought the cloth back to Hilda and gently wiped the woman’s red face with it.
“Are you ok now?” Laura asked, rather concerned. Hilda did not look ok. As redness started to fade Laura thought she seemed rather gray and pasty looking.
“I’m fine, that just happens sometimes. It’s nothing to worry about. Thank you for the cloth though. That was nice of you.” Hilda actually smiled at Laura. It was a small smile, but a smile none the less, and the first one she had shown Laura since the two had met.
