“Sounds pretty fairy tale so far,” Jackson said. “I mean, if you’re a submissive woman who’s into really rich guys.”
Nicky smiled. “Yeah, it was pretty good. We had a great time together, and he was always very nice to me. Derrick kept the dom thing going just about all the time, but he never pushed my limits. So I guess that’s why I had no issue with signing the paperwork he had his lawyers draw up before our wedding. And I was twenty-one and stupid—that was probably a big part of it, too.”
“A prenup agreement?”
“Well, there was that, but there was also a master-slave agreement. You ever heard of those?”
“I have,” Jackson said, the dark note in his voice making it clear he didn’t like the sound of them. “I don’t know too many long-term dom-sub couples, so I don’t have any personal experience, but I’ve heard of them.”
God, how she wished she didn’t have any personal experience with them. If she could go back in time and refuse to sign the thing, she’d do it in a heartbeat, even if it meant she had to relive those years with Derrick. No matter how awful they’d been, Abby had come out of that time, so Nicky could never count them as a total waste.
“From what I understand, there isn’t really a standard boiler-plate contract for the master-slave agreement. It’s either as open or restrictive as the dom and sub decide for it to be.” Nicky sighed, not in a hurry to get to the next part of the story.
“Let me guess. This guy wanted it nice and restrictive.”
“I signed over control of just about everything. My money, my right to drive a car, to leave the house without Derrick chaperoning—all kinds of things that should have rung alarm bells, but didn’t.”
“But those contracts aren’t really legal, Nick. It’s not like a dom-sub agreement would stand up in a court of law.”
“Oh, I know. But that didn’t really matter once we were married. I had no money, no car to drive. Basically no way out. Not that I wanted out, not then anyway. I started to get a little tired of the full-time control thing, but we were making it work,” Nicky said, her chest getting tight. It was time to drop the big bomb. She wondered what Jackson would think about her having a child. “Things didn’t get really bad until I accidentally got pregnant.”
She risked a peek up into his dark eyes, shocked to see he didn’t look at all surprised.
“You knew?” she asked, her brow wrinkling in confusion.
“I had a friend check up on you while you were getting ready. He told me you had a one-year-old little girl. Abigail is her name?”
“Abby, she’s going to be one in a few weeks,” Nicky said, anger spiking in her blood. “And I heard you talking to your friend, trying to see if I had a criminal record. What the hell were you thinking? I’ve never done anything illegal except get a tattoo without parental consent when I was sixteen. I never even drank until I was twenty-one.”
“Is that why you ran? Because you heard me on the phone?” He looked so hopeful Nicky couldn’t seem to stay mad.
“It made me feel like you didn’t trust me, and I felt I’d been pretty cool about trusting you even though you were the one who—”
“Abducted you and hauled you off to my mountain lair.” Jackson kissed her on the lips for the first time since they’d fought.
Electricity swept over Nicky’s skin, tightening her nipples, making her very aware that she was nearly naked in Jackson’s arms. By the time he pulled away, she could feel the hard ridge of his cock swelling against her stomach, and was tempted to forget the rest of her story and go straight for the zipper of his fly.
“I’m sorry I upset you, but I was only trying to help. You said you had secrets and I wanted to make sure that, whatever those secrets were, I could still make things okay for us.”
“You should have trusted me to tell my secrets when I was ready,” she said, “not gone behind my back.”
“I know that now. I’m sorry. And I should never have forced you to come back here with me. It was wrong . . . very wrong.”
“Well . . . don’t let it happen again,” Nicky said, trying very hard to resist the urge to wrap her leg around his hips and grind her center against his swollen length. After years of celibacy, her libido still hadn’t gotten enough of this man.
Celibacy. Unfortunately that brought her back to her story. Might as well finish it and get the damn thing over with.
“So I got pregnant with Abby and was so excited. She wasn’t planned, but I’d always wanted kids so I figured it was a happy surprise.”
“But Derrick didn’t?”
“He tried to convince me to have an abortion.” She gritted her teeth, some of the familiar anger she always felt when thinking about her ex returning. “When I wouldn’t, he just . . . shut off. He would barely speak to me and certainly wouldn’t touch me or sleep in the same bedroom. He said he found a pregnant woman’s body disgusting.”
“Son of a bitch,” Jackson growled.
Nicky laughed. “I think that was part of the problem. His mother is a real freak show and he was an only child. I think he equates women who are mothers with evil or something. At least that’s the hypothesis I came to in my freshman psych class.”
“You went to college?” He smiled, obviously proud of her. What a difference from Derrick, who had mocked her attempts to start school when she was already older than most of the graduating seniors. He’d insisted he made plenty of money and she was better off at home, serving her husband like a good submissive wife.
“I only did two semesters. One when I was pregnant with Abby and one after. They had a really good child-care room at the community college and it was close enough for me to walk there from our house.”
“Still, that’s great and you could go back. You always were so smart.”
“Thanks,” she said, her eyes tearing up at the simple compliment. Jackson was the only man she’d ever known who seemed to value her brain as much as her body. Hell, the only one who even realized she had a brain.
“Oh, god, don’t cry.” He laughed, but she could tell he meant every word, so she did her best to pull it together. “So what happened after Abby was born?”
“Derrick didn’t like my after-pregnancy body any more than he liked my pregnant one, but that was fine by me. At that point I was looking for a way out.” Nicky traced the pattern on Jackson’s sweater, concentrating on the swirls instead of her own words. “But Abby was so tiny and helpless and I was scared. I didn’t know how I’d survive with a newborn, no job, and not a dime to my name. And to be fair, Derrick did seem to love her in his way, once she outgrew the colic and started smiling and playing a little more.”
“But that doesn’t sound like a very good life. For either of you.”
“It wasn’t. Derrick had grown even more distant with me after Abby was born. At first he just ignored me, but then he started to . . . say things.”
“What kind of things?”
“Anything that would hurt. I think he blamed me for ruining what we had by getting pregnant and wanted to punish me for it. He’d talk about how my looks had gone downhill, how I was a lazy housewife—even though he had a maid come in twice a week so there wasn’t much cleaning for me to do. He’d say I was a high school dropout not fit to teach Abby anything and—”
“He’s a piece of shit. Where does he live? I’ve suddenly got a strong desire to punch his face in.”
“No!” Nicky immediately realized her response was too strong, but it was too late.
“You’re still afraid of him,” Jackson observed, rage in his eyes. “You don’t have to be. Not anymore.”
God, could she tell him? Would Jackson help her, or would he think she was a piece of shit herself for letting Derrick get his hands on her child?
“I promise you, Nick. I’ll make sure he never hurts you again.”
“It’s not me I’m worried about,” she said, rushing on before she could second-guess herself. “When I finally left him, I took Abby. I changed our nam
es and tried my best to hide, but I didn’t run far enough, I guess. He found us and he . . . took her.”
“Took her? How could he just take her? You’re both her parents, no court in California is going to—”
“We haven’t gone to court and we probably won’t. Derrick had his lawyer draw up a divorce decree that he expects me to sign as is. It gives him full custody of Abby.”
“That’s bullshit. You and your lawyer will fight him. I’m sure a bastard like that will—”
“I don’t have a lawyer.”
“Why not?” Jackson captured her face in his hands, urging her to look up and meet his eyes. The doubt she read there made her sick to her stomach. He wasn’t sure she wanted her own child. Just another case of Jackson not knowing her nearly as well as she’d hoped, no matter how much he loved her.
“Derrick is a dangerous man,” Nicky said, trying not to let his doubt cut her too deeply. He didn’t understand the situation. And he wouldn’t understand until she got up the nerve to tell him. But for some reason, it was nearly impossible to bring herself to say the words. As if saying them out loud for the first time might make the danger to Abby more real.
“I can understand that, but you can’t let this creep bully you out of your child’s life. I can understand that you’re scared, but you have to fight for her.”
“Believe me, there’s nothing I’d like more, Jackson. I love Abby more than anything in the world and I want her with me. I promise you that.” The back of her throat grew tight, as if it would physically prevent her from telling Jackson anything more. “I know living with Derrick isn’t a good situation for anyone, especially a baby.”
“Then let’s go get her. I’ll drive you there tonight. We’ll walk in and take Abby and I’ll beat the living hell out of the man if he tries to get in our way.”
“Great, Jackson. And then he’ll call the police and you’ll be arrested and I’ll look like an unfit mother for bringing my boyfriend to beat up my husband. This is not something that can be solved with fists. We’re not in high school anymore.”
Jackson sighed. “You’re right. I just can’t stand to think of that man having your little girl. I’ve got a bad feeling about it. I know you used to think I was crazy with the bad vibe shit, but I swear I—”
“No, I didn’t. Your vibes were usually dead-on. And they’re definitely right on the money in this situation.” Nicky swallowed past the lump in her throat and licked her dry lips. “Derrick said he would kill Abby before he’d let me be a part of her life.”
“What?” Jackson’s voice was thick with equal parts rage and disbelief.
“If I fight for custody in court or try to take her again, he promised me he’d kill her. That he’d do it in a way no one would ever suspect was murder and not an accident.”
“He wouldn’t. He’s just bluffing to—”
“No, he’s not, Jackson.” Her voice shook and her skin suddenly felt the chill lingering in the cabin. “If there’s one thing I learned about Derrick Sakapatatis in the years we were married, it’s that he always keeps his promises. Especially the scary ones.”
Chapter Fourteen
Jackson was quiet for a few minutes, his mind racing as he pulled a trembling Nicky so close it felt like the fronts of their bodies would fuse together. Not only was he a head case, he was a fool. He should have known Nicky would never lie and say she loved him just to gain her freedom. She wouldn’t have reached for him after he set her free, or be spilling her guts right now if she didn’t love him. She wasn’t the type to talk emotional stuff with anyone but her nearest and dearest. Her feelings were as real as the passion between them.
And as real as the hellish position she was in with her husband.
No wonder she’d let the bastard take their daughter. Even if the man was lying, what mother would be willing to risk the chance—even the slight chance—that he wasn’t? He was threatening her child’s life, for god’s sake.
Derrick was a fucking monster, whether he was bluffing with the death threat or not.
“I don’t know a whole lot about how the legal system works,” Jackson said in a low, soothing voice. “But couldn’t you testify to what he said? Wouldn’t that be enough to throw suspicion on whether he’d be a good—”
“I wouldn’t get to testify. He said he’d kill Abby first, so the only way I’m getting on a stand is if she’s already dead.” Nicky’s breath rushed out on a shaky breath. “Besides, who would take my word over Derrick’s? I’m a high school dropout who’s worked as a waitress, a lingerie model, and now a bartender at a semi-sleazy bar. He’s a rich real estate investor who graduated top of his class at Stanford.”
Jackson wanted to tell her things like that wouldn’t matter, but he wasn’t a fool. How many times had he been looked down on for owning a tattoo parlor or sporting two full sleeves of ink down his arms? Things had started to change after the reality show, but he still got the hairy eyeball from store clerks from time to time.
“Your silence is very reassuring,” she said, shifting in his arms, the way her breasts pressed against his chest reawakening things that had been deflated by the news of her ex’s death threats. Even now, more anxious than he could remember being in years, he still wanted to be inside Nicky.
When they were making love, when he was buried to the hilt in her gripping heat, he didn’t have to think about anything. Not the danger her little girl was in, not the uncertain future, and certainly not the fact that he wasn’t at all the man he’d thought he was only a few short weeks ago.
He’d not only followed through on his plan to kidnap Nicky, he’d chased her down like an animal when she’d run and used brute force to haul her back to his cabin. He obviously wasn’t right in the head, and was displaying far more similar traits to her bully of an ex-husband than he wanted to admit.
Even if he figured out a way to help her and cleared the path for them to start dating seriously, how could he be sure he was any better for her than the man he’d helped her get free of? He knew he’d never dream of threatening a child, but then . . . not so long ago he’d been certain he’d never kidnap a woman and tattoo her against her will, either.
Did he even know what he was capable of anymore?
“Jackson? Is something wrong?” Nicky’s eyes were wide and worried, but she still clung to him the same way she had since he’d untied her.
When she’d reached for him in spite of what he’d done, Jackson had thought his heart would explode. She really did care—it hadn’t all been a lie.
But maybe she would have been better off if it had been.
He loved her more than anything in the world, but who knew if that love would be enough? This Derrick creep had obviously loved her in his way, and look how that had turned out. Could Jackson be certain he’d do any better by Nick? Sure, he’d never ignore her or tear her down with words, but who knew what else he’d do once he’d settled into being the dominant man around the house.
No matter how strong Nicky was, she was a submissive through and through. She would place her trust in him and have faith he would make the best decisions for them both. But what if he couldn’t handle the responsibility for two lives—three including her daughter’s? What if he wasn’t the man he thought he was, and ended up bringing even more hurt into the life of the woman in his arms?
“I really wish you’d talk to me. You’re starting to freak me out a little.”
Jackson winced inwardly. Freak her out. He should freak her out. He’d been acting like a maniac since the night he headed out of Vegas, bound for California. “Sorry, I was just thinking.”
“About what?”
“About how we can make sure Derrick is the one considered an unfit parent,” he said, the lie sliding easily from his lips. He couldn’t tell Nicky about his doubts about himself. Not now, not when she obviously had no one but him to turn to. “My partner and I opted out of another season of Sin City Ink, but I’m still in touch with a lot of the cameramen who used
to work on the show. Most of them live in L.A., so it shouldn’t be hard to find someone willing to loan us the proper equipment.”
“What kind of equipment?” she asked, a hint of hope in her voice.
“A hidden camera or two, a couple of microphones so tiny you can barely see them. Just a few things we’ll need for a little sting operation.” Jackson smiled when her eyes lit up. “If we can get Derrick on film threatening Abby, I think just about any judge out there will give you full custody until you go to trial and a nice restraining order, at the very least. If we’re lucky, the bastard might even get jail time.”
“You really think so?” Nicky asked, the excitement clear in her voice. “But we’d have to make sure Abby was safe before we showed anyone the film.”
“I think we can make that happen pretty easily. I’ll talk to my partner, Christian. He used to be a cop and will probably have some good advice on how to handle your ex.”
“He has experience with domestic disputes as well as digging up private information on people in a matter of minutes?” Nicky narrowed her eyes, making it clear she didn’t think much of Christian already. “I’m not sure I want this guy’s help if it’s all the same to you.”
“Christian’s a good guy. I’m the jerk who was nosing around behind your back. Give him a chance,” he said, feeling every inch a jerk. What had happened to the levelheaded man he’d always prided himself on being? It was like every ounce of restraint or common sense went out the window as soon as Nicky was in the picture. “If you don’t like him once you meet him, we’ll go it alone. We probably won’t need that much help anyway. Derrick has to go to work and leave Abby alone sometime, like at a day care or—”
“He has a nanny. Two of them, actually, a day nanny and a night nanny. But I still have the key to the house, so we should be able to figure something out.” She chewed her lip, obviously working through the scenario in her mind. “I’m sure he hasn’t changed the locks or the code on the security system. He doesn’t expect me to go against him in this.”
Skin Deep Page 15
