Skin Deep

by Evans, Anna J.

  “What happened? Is he dead?” A man in a suit whom Jackson had seen roaming the club earlier rushed out the door with Nicky close behind. “I’m Blake, the owner.”

  “I told him we were . . . having an argument and he just started shaking and collapsed,” Nicky said, staying back a few paces as Blake came to stand just behind Jackson.

  “I think he had a seizure, or maybe a stroke. Probably drug-induced. I’m a tattoo artist. By law we’re not supposed to work on anyone who’s been using, so I’ve learned to read the signs.” Jackson stood. “He’s still breathing and his pulse is strong, if a little accelerated. I don’t think there’s much we can do for him until the paramedics arrive.”

  “Drugs?” Nicky asked. “Derrick’s been using drugs?”

  “Son of a bitch. I thought he looked bad tonight, but I didn’t want to say anything.” Blake sighed and shook his head. “He usually keeps it at a respectable level, and he’s never brought anything into the club.”

  “So Derrick has been on drugs before?”

  “I’ve only known him a few months, but yeah, he seems to have a pretty decent coke habit,” Blake said.

  “A habit. While he was supposed to be taking care of an eleven-month-old.” Nicky cursed, glaring at the man at her feet like she’d like to kick his prone body. “I’m going to kill him.”

  “You may not have to,” the club owner said, as sirens sounded in the distance. “If he’s had a stroke . . . well, it will just depend on how severe it was. I had a friend of mine, old college football buddy, died of combination stroke and heart attack from an overdose a few years back.”

  “Oh, my god,” Nicky said, her voice soft as her hand flew to her mouth. “I didn’t—I don’t really want . . .”

  “Of course you don’t,” Jackson said, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her close as an ambulance pulled into the parking lot. “And he might be fine. He could still live to take his beating for hitting you.”

  “You saw that?” Nicky asked, the face she tilted up to his washed red from the flashing lights.

  “Nope, but I saw this.” He brushed his knuckles softly over her cheek, feeling his guts twist when she winced slightly. “It made me want to kill him myself.”

  “It doesn’t hurt that bad. I’ll be fine.” She lowered her voice even though Blake had already left to meet the EMTs as they jumped from the ambulance. “Is Christian on his way to get Abby?”

  “He left over ten minutes ago. I should be getting a call soon. You’d better tell them what happened.” Jackson urged her to go and then watched Nicky fill in the paramedics, his mind racing.

  Derrick’s unexpected collapse could either work for them or against them. If the nanny reported the baby missing the night after her employer overdosed at the same party his wife had been attending, there was a chance the police might come around, asking Nicky a bunch of unnecessary questions.

  But if Christian hadn’t taken Abby yet, there might still be a way for this to end even better than they’d hoped.

  His cell was out of his pocket a second later. Thankfully, Christian answered on the second ring. “Hey, do you have Abby yet?”

  “Not yet,” he whispered, “but I’m on the property, so can this little conversation wait?”

  “No, it can’t. Get out and go wait in your car. I’ll give you a call in a few minutes. We’ve had an unexpected development.”

  “All right, you’re running this show.”

  Jackson snapped the phone shut and then open again. He waited until Derrick was loaded into the ambulance and the owner vanished back into the club before he put the phone in Nicky’s hand. “Here, call the nanny. Tell her what happened and that you’re on your way to pick up Abby.”

  “Christian didn’t—”

  “I called him and told him the plan had changed. This will work out much better.”

  “Right, of course.” Nicky shook her head as if to clear it. “I didn’t even think, but . . . this will make my case, won’t it? Even without the threats, a judge isn’t going to give custody to a man with a documented drug habit.”

  “And I’d say a hospitalization for overdose is pretty good documentation.”

  Nicky smiled, a weary stretch of her lips. “I wouldn’t have wished this on Derrick, but I can’t deny it feels good to know I’m not going to lose Abby again. God, when I think of what could have happened . . .” She sucked in a shaky breath. “What if she’d found drugs in the house? She sticks everything in her mouth, and it wouldn’t take much cocaine to kill a twenty-four-pound baby. I just—”

  “Don’t think about it. Just make that call, then we’ll get on the road.” Jackson squeezed her hand. “You’ll be holding Abby in thirty minutes or less.”

  This time, Nicky’s smile was bright enough to light the entire parking lot. It made Jackson wish he was going to be around to see that grin a hell of a lot more. He was going to miss Nicky, more than he’d thought possible, but his leaving was for the best. The events of tonight had only proved how dangerous a failed dom-sub relationship could become. Nicky would be safer without a controlling man in her life.

  He was going to do his best to convince her of that on their way to pick up her daughter. If there was ever a time to bring Nicky back to the straight side of the fence, this was it.

  Jackson wished the thought didn’t make him sad, but it did. Which just went to show how bad he would be for her. A man more concerned with the loss of the most complex and challenging submissive he’d ever known than with the safety of that submissive and her baby was a man with serious issues.

  “Okay, we’re good to go. She said she’d have Abby’s things packed by the time we get there.” Nicky squealed and threw her arms around his neck. “She’s coming home with us, Jackson. Right now!”

  “Speaking of the hotel,” Jackson said, hugging Nicky for only the briefest second before pulling away, “why don’t we run by and grab some more appropriate clothes on the way. I think it would be better if we didn’t show up in club gear.”

  “Right, of course. Let’s go, then.” There was a hurt look in her eyes as she turned toward his truck, but Jackson did his best to ignore it. They both knew this had to end, no sense in pretending otherwise.

  Tomorrow, he’d help Nicky and Abby get settled in Nicky’s apartment and start the necessary legal paperwork, and by the day after tomorrow he’d be on a plane on his way to Miami. Once he was there, he’d throw himself into getting the new parlor ready to open and do his best to forget he’d ever seen Nicky, let alone lost his heart to her a second time.

  It wasn’t going to be easy, but he was used to living with a gaping hole in his chest. He’d been doing it for years, ever since sixteen-year-old Nicky had left Carson City.

  Jackson popped the locks on the Expedition and climbed behind the wheel, tempted for a brief second to ask Nicky why she’d left all those years ago, why she’d run.

  “What’s wrong?” she asked, meeting his eyes with a troubled look of her own.

  “Nothing. Nothing at all.” He forced a smile and started the car. There was no sense digging into the past. Their past didn’t matter any more than their future. It was time to grow up and move on, and finally put all those old dreams behind him.

  Chapter Twenty

  Two months later

  The doorbell rang, shocking Nicky out of a sound sleep. A quick glance at the clock revealed it was barely six in the morning. Who in their right mind would be stopping by for a visit at this hour?

  Maybe it’s not someone in their right mind. Maybe it’s him, maybe he was finally released from the hospital and he’s not in the mood to obey the restraining order.

  Nicky vaulted into a seated position. She hadn’t called to check on Derrick’s status in a few days, but surely he couldn’t be ready to go home yet. His stroke had been massive and the doctors said he’d need months of physical therapy before he was anywhere close to his old self. They’d also promised to call her before they released him, since
they knew about his history and the restraining order in place keeping him from seeing his ex-wife or child.

  The bell rang again, making her heart leap into her throat. “Just a second,” she called out, jumping out of bed and taking a quick peek in Abby’s crib. She was still asleep, thank god. Nothing could wake her until she was ready to get up, so hopefully she’d snooze straight through whatever madness might ensue if it really was Derrick at the door.

  One thing was for certain, no one was ever going to take Abby from her again. She was going to make damn sure of that.

  The gun was out of its shoe box on the top shelf of her closet and in her hand in seconds. If Derrick violated the restraining order and tried to hurt her or Abby again, she’d shoot him and deal with the fallout later. Even standing trial for murder in self-defense would be better than letting him take Abby away. The past two months alone with Abby had only made her love for her daughter fiercer than it had been before, and she knew she’d do anything it took to keep her safe.

  “Who is it?” Nicky asked once she was at the door, buying herself a little time as she peered through the peephole and saw the last person she’d expected.

  “It’s Christian,” he said, the words barely out of his mouth before she threw open the door. He took in her rumpled hair and pj’s with an apologetic smile. “Sorry about the early hour.”

  “Um, no, it’s fine. Come in,” Nicky said, opening the door wider, scanning the stairs behind him, a foolish part of her hoping she’d see Jackson.

  But she should know better. Jackson hadn’t even called to say hi since he’d left for Miami. He didn’t want anything more to do with her. He’d made that abundantly clear.

  “I’m on my way to Hawaii and only have a six-hour layover. I’ve got to jet back to the airport in just a few—Nice gun. You bring that to the door to greet all your visitors?”

  “Only the ones who show up unexpectedly at insanely early hours who I think might be my ex-husband.”

  “That’s pretty tough of you. I’m impressed.”

  “You do what you gotta do.” Nicky shrugged and turned back to the closet to put the gun back in its hiding place. That was the good thing about a studio apartment, everything was in easy reach. “Can I get you some coffee or something?”

  “No, like I said, I’ve got to run in a few. I just needed to talk to you. In person.”

  “What about?” Nicky asked, her mind immediately imagining the worst. “Is Jackson okay? He’s not hurt or anything, is he? I mean, he’d probably have to be a lot worse than hurt for you to come all the way out here, but—”

  “He is. A lot worse.”

  “Oh, god.” Tears sprang to her eyes and she barely made it to the couch before her knees gave out. “What happened? Just tell me fast and get it over with.”

  “You happened.” Christian took the armchair across from her, settling in like he’d visited a hundred times before. He certainly had a gift for making himself at home in his surroundings. “The man’s a complete wreck.”

  Nicky didn’t know whether to be relieved or pissed that Christian had scared her half to death. “What do you mean he’s a wreck?”

  “He’s a mess. He can’t concentrate on his art, he’s a cranky asshole to everyone we work with, and he acts like Miami is the seventh level of hell, not one of the most happening cities on the planet.” Christian sighed and pulled a pack of cigarettes from his coat pocket. “I swear to god, he’s lost his mind. He’s even grown a beard, if you can imagine. He looks like some sort of psycho serial killer.”

  “I didn’t know you smoked,” Nicky said.

  “I don’t, I just started.” He flicked a cigarette from the pack and placed it between his lips. “Got some women trouble of my own.”

  “Sorry to hear that, but you can’t smoke in here.”

  “That’s cool, I’ll just hold it. Almost as good and a lot less cancer-causing.” He stared at her over the coffee table, an expectant look in his eye.

  “I don’t know what you want me to say.”

  “Say you’ll take this.” He reached into the inside pocket of his coat and pulled out a plane ticket, which he handed over. “And use it.”

  Nicky picked up the ticket and glanced at the destination. “You want me to go to Maui with you?”

  “Oh, god. No.” He snatched the ticket back and fished around in his other pocket. “This is your ticket. Sorry, I’ve been up for two days. I’m a little off my game.”

  “Miami,” Nicky said, not even touching the ticket this time. Abby took that second to start snuffling and squirming in her crib, signaling her imminent waking. Thank. God. Saved by the baby.

  “Yeah, Miami. You should go. He needs you. Believe me, I’m not the type to say that kind of thing unless it’s true,” Christian said, his voice absolutely sincere. “I’m really worried about him. It’s like he’s losing his mind or something.”

  Nicky opened her mouth, then closed it, then opened it again, knowing she looked like a fish out of water but unable to help herself. She had no idea what to say. A part of her wanted to take the ticket and go to Jackson, but the voice of reason wasn’t buying. Jackson had made it very clear he didn’t want a future with her, and he wasn’t the one who had shown up on her doorstep. If he’d really changed his mind and was that miserable without her, wouldn’t he be here himself?

  “Mama. Maaaammmmaaa.” She smiled, knowing she’d never get tired of hearing that little voice first thing in the morning.

  “Just a second.” Nicky vaulted off the couch and across the room to the tiny kitchenette area to start fixing Abby’s bottle.

  The pediatrician had suggested Nicky start buying the soy formula for toddlers, but she still couldn’t bring herself to put Abby’s milk in a sippy cup instead of the bottle. She wasn’t ready to let those baby bottle days go just yet, especially considering Abby was probably the only child she’d ever have. She didn’t want to have another baby on her own and she couldn’t imagine ever getting married again . . . unless it was to Jackson.

  She shoved the thought away as she picked Abby up from her crib and checked her diaper. Still dry. They’d had a diaper change at around four a.m., so she wasn’t surprised.

  Of course, that was just another reason not to go to Miami. Jackson hadn’t expressed any interest in being a father to another man’s child, especially a high-maintenance infant type of child. He’d held Abby only a few minutes before pushing her back into her mother’s arms and fleeing the hotel room like he’d seen a ghost, not held a baby.

  “She’s beautiful. Looks just like you,” Christian said, smiling as Nicky settled back in on the couch with Abby on her lap.

  “Thanks.” She frowned as she handed the bottle over to Abby. She liked to hold it herself now that she was an entire year old. “I have to tell you, Christian, I’m a little surprised to see you here. I didn’t get the feeling you liked me that much.”

  “I didn’t. I thought you were using Jackson to get your kid back.”

  “But now you’ve changed your mind?”

  He sighed, crushing the cigarette in his hand. “I’ve changed my mind about a few things. Especially where matters of the heart are concerned.” He paused, meeting her eyes. “You love him, don’t you?”

  “More than anything, except Abby,” Nicky said, not seeing the sense in hiding her feelings. “But that doesn’t mean—”

  “It does mean. It’s all you need to know, because you can be damn certain Jackson loves you more than anything in the world. He’s got it in his head he’s no good for you or something stupid, but I swear he’s the best man I know. He’s all heart under that big scary act.”

  Nicky felt her throat grow tight and a bubble of hope expand in her chest, making her dizzy. “I know he is. But if he doesn’t want to—”

  “Listen, I know you guys have got this kinky dominant and submissive thing going on, and I can respect that,” Christian said, the tone in his voice making clear he did nothing of the sort. He thought
they were both freaky perverts, which made Nicky smile. “But even the ‘boss’ needs to be told what’s what sometimes. Jackson is all mixed up. So just take that ticket and go down there and tell him to quit being an ass. You three belong together, I feel it in my gut.”

  He pulled an envelope out of his pocket and set it on the table next to the plane ticket. “These are directions to the shop and Jackson’s condo. I also took the liberty of having an extra key made to his place in case you decide to make yourself right at home. He’s been working the early shift at the shop, twelve to eight.”

  Nicky bit her lip, trying to fight the excitement making her heart beat faster, but found it impossible. Christian wasn’t a hopeless romantic, he was a practical man, even a cynical one, she would have said if judging from their first meeting. If he was here, insisting Jackson was lost without her, she had damned well better believe it.

  “Let me ask you one question,” she said.

  “Yeah.”

  “Is that ticket one-way?”

  He smiled. “It sure is.”

  She returned his grin. “Good. If I’m going to do this, I’m going to do it right.”

  “Fabulous.” The warmth in his dark eyes finally made her see why this was a man who made women swoon. Christian really was a gorgeous human being when he let his own softer side be seen. “A woman after my own heart. Though I did get a roundtrip ticket to Maui. Two, actually. I’m planning on bringing someone home with me.”

  “Is this the woman who inspired the change of heart?” Nicky asked, happy for the man.

  “Yeah. She’s got the stupidest pink-streaked hair and all these crazy feminist ideas and I was pretty sure I hated her.” He frowned as he crossed the room to throw away the remnants of his cigarette. “Amazing what you learn about yourself when you hear someone’s eloped with another man.”

  “Oh, no, I’m so sorry.”