At three o’clock sharp, I shook off the nerves and pumped myself up, buttoned up my tux, and stepped out of the car. I made my way to the door, picturing the many dresses at Une Grande Fête. Marie called late yesterday to let me know that there were charges to the account. I shook my head realizing that Beth had chosen one of the more…economical… dresses. Marie wouldn’t spill about the details of the dress that Beth had chosen. She only said that Beth was une belle femme.
I knocked on the door and waited. My mouth was dry, my heart was pounding through my chest, and my palms were sweaty. I heard the locks on the door and stopped breathing.
When the door opened, the world dropped away. She stood in front of me, a vision in royal blue. The gown was a simple, floor-length, strapless sheath dress, a slit up her left thigh—not as high as the salmon dress, but just as sexy. The blue complimented her coloring radiantly. She wore the chocolate brown pendant, and it sparkled like her eyes. The smile that adorned her face was enough to make my heart explode. Carefully, she lifted the skirt of the dress and extended her Crystal Caged Bootie foot, for my approval. She had it. From head to toe.
“Every time I see you, I forget all the beautiful things I want to say. All I can say right now is huminah-huminah.”
“Thank you,” she giggled. “You don’t look half bad yourself,” she said running a finger on the lapel of my jacket.
“Shall we?” I asked extending my elbow.
“We shall.” She turned and made sure the door was closed, and arm-in-arm we headed to the waiting limo.
The ride to ballet was a challenge. She spoke filling the silence, talking about the ballet and what she’d learned online. Her enthusiasm was rewarding. I was delighted to bring her such joy. But truth be told, I didn’t hear much. Watching her lips move, coupled with her bare shoulders, and the perfume she wore, I was ready to push her down on the seat and fuck her like the animal I was, especially when she would put her hand on my knee, or let her head drop to my shoulder while she laughed.
I imagined leaning over and licking the line from the back of her ear all the way down to where her neck met her shoulder. I wanted to slip my hand into the slit of the skirt and run my hand up her inner thigh until she trembled as I reached her apex. Then I would slide down on my knees in front of her, like she had done to me on our way to the theatre just a couple weeks ago. I would spread her thighs and run my tongue along the soft, creamy skin. I would inhale her musky, salty, sweet scent and press my lips on to the heat source through her panties.
Oh, her panties… What style would she be wearing? Certainly lace. What color? I imagined hot pink. Then I imagined shifting the hot pink lace aside, licking her from the bottom of her slit up through to her clit, with an extra flick of attention at her love button. I’d clamp my lips around that sensitive nub as I slid a finger into her hot center. She’d writhe with pleasure. That mew she made when she was growing more excited would come from her throat. I’d then plunge a second finger in. I’d crook my fingers, searching for that textured spot. I’d rub, press, and suck until she flooded my mouth with her essence. And I’d lap up every drop. Then I’d kiss her deeply and let her know how good she tasted.
I was pulled out of my musings when she pushed a glass of Scotch into my hand. “You look like you could use a drink. Are you okay?” she asked. She was so good to me.
“I’m always okay when you’re near,” I said, sipping the brown liquid.
Her smile made my heart beat even faster.
Inside the restaurant was even more of a challenge. Watching her eat, I recalled the first day I saw her, eating that steak salad, her tongue catching the dressing at the corner of her mouth, only this time it was béarnaise sauce on filet mignon. And then, there was the matter of the small box in my pocket. My plan was to wait for the intermission of the ballet, but my heart was pounding. Maybe I should try and find a time at dinner? Or do I wait for the intermission at the ballet as planned? Or do I take her for drinks afterward? Was this whole plan a good one?
“Are you sure you’re okay?” she asked interrupting my crazed thoughts.
“Me? Fine as frog’s hair. Why do you ask?”
“You’re just very quiet this evening, that’s all,” she said off handedly.
“I am simply enjoying your company, Beth. I like to listen to you. Please, continue with Carter’s latest find in Pompeii.”
She poured two packets of sugar into her espresso and stirred slowly, choosing her next words. “This has been my happiest week in California.”
I looked at her confused. Her happiest?
“You listen to me. You get me. You do things for me that I am interested in,” she stated.
My heart was banging on the inner walls of my chest. I feared I might have a heart attack. After all the working out I’d done this week, a couple remarks from the love of my life would do me in. “I’ve enjoyed every minute.” I took her hand and rubbed my thumb over her delicate knuckles.
“I am a little disappointed that you’ve not tried to… you know,” she blushed.
Oh hell! “Believe me, the thought has crossed my mind…on more than one occasion,” I winked. Maybe I should have gone for broke in the limo. “But Beth, you are so much more than that to me.” Now? Was this the opportunity?
Just then the server delivered the check, and I checked my watch. “We have to get going! We don’t want to miss the first act.” The box would have to wait.
I quickly paid the check and we hurried to the limo for the thankfully short ride to the War Memorial Opera House with no time to spare. If the ride were any longer, I would have sunk my fingers, tongue and cock into her.
CHAPTER 33
I don’t know which was more magical, the dancers or the priceless expression on Beth’s face with the costumes, coupled with her laughter at the comedy woven into the story. When she carefully took my hand the moment Prince Charming met Cinderella, and knew they were falling in love, I prayed this was Beth’s signal to me that I was home free… Home with my princess. With each musical number, we got closer to the end of the first act, and I rehearsed it all in my mind.
The curtain dropped for intermission and Beth turned to me, beaming. “This is wonderful, Jack. Thank you.”
“Come,” I encouraged, standing and offering her my hand. She took my hand and stood with a suspicious gleam in her eye. “A cocktail for my princess,” I invited.
We wiggled out of the row, and arm-in-arm we headed to the cocktail bar. I ordered her a glass of Chardonnay and a glass of Merlot for myself, since all they were selling were blended Scotches. Meandering through the lobby, and the other elegant, opening-night theatre goers, I spied a hallway with some doors.
Quickly, I whisked us down the hall, searching in earnest for a private room. Spotting one, I walked in and as calmly as I could, collected our glasses and set them on a nearby table. Once our hands were free, I turned and pinned her to the wall, at first with my eyes, and then with my body and mouth.
“You are too beautiful, and smart, and caring and beautiful to keep away from all night,” I said between soft kisses to her lips, and ears, and neck, and that sweet little hollow at the base of her neck.
“You said beautiful twice,” she breathed, my lips still pressed on hers.
“So I did. But then again when I’m with you, I lose most of my sensibilities. And you are that beautiful. Once isn’t enough. Never enough.” I stepped back slightly and reached into my pocket. When I pulled out the three-inch square, hallmark Tiffany blue box, Beth eyed me warily. I opened the box with the prize inside facing her. She gasped and her hand, trembling, flew to her mouth.
“Jack, I—”
I placed a finger on her luscious lips. “Shh-sh-sh. It’s not what it looks like.”
“It looks a lot like ring.”
I glanced at the sparkling trinket. A platinum ring with a delicate infinity symbol. The symbol was fashioned with inset diamond baguettes. “Okay, it is what it looks like.”
/> “I – I – I don’t think—” she stammered.
“Hey, it’s okay. It’s just a promise ring. A friendship ring. I want you to know that you will forever be in my heart.” I slipped it from the box, and placed the box in my pocket. Gently I took her right hand and slipped it on her ring finger. It fit perfectly. Together we stared at it. The lighting in the room let the piece shine and glimmer.
I looked up to see a tear in her eye. I reached for my kerchief and blotted her eyes.
“Why do I cry every time you give me jewelry?” she asked laughing nervously.
“Beth,” I said with all seriousness. “You should be showered with gifts and jewelry at every opportunity. You should be treasured. You should be adored. Why are you here with me and not him?” That last bit was a low blow, but I couldn’t help it. I searched her face for her take on it. She looked deeply into my eyes, then down at the ring.
The light flickered in the hallway catching our attention. “The intermission is over. Shall we head back in?” she whispered. Shit! Did I play it wrong? Too much?
“Um… sure.” I extended my arm. She took a cleansing breath and took my arm. She was gripping it tightly. Nice and tight. Tight because I’m hurting her? Tight because she wants me? I picked up our glasses, handed Beth hers, tossed back the rest of my wine, and quietly we walked back to the theatre. Beth sipped her wine quietly. I wish I could read her mind. What was she thinking?
A ring. He got me a ring. A Tiffany ring. I thought when he pulled us down that hallway it was going to be a repeat of Lincoln Center. No. He gave me forever.
As the house lights went down and the curtain went up, I didn’t notice anything on stage. There was another show playing in my head. My last few moments with Jack in New York came flooding back to me.
* * *
“Because I’m a selfish man who has never felt for another person what I feel for you. Because I want nothing more than to treasure you, and worship you for the next twenty or thirty years. I want to take you to Europe and South America. I want to make you feel as good about yourself as I feel about you. Because I like who I am when I’m with you.” He placed his hands on my shoulders and leaned in to kiss my forehead.
His kisses trailed down my nose and across my cheek then followed my jaw. Tears filled my eyes. I bit the insides of my cheeks to keep from crying. When he pulled back and looked me in the eye, his eyes were not just filled with tears, they were flowing down his face.
My heart shattered into a million pieces. What kind of heartless bitch am I? I broke my husband’s heart. I broke Kevin’s heart. I was breaking Jack’s heart. I had broken my own heart. The tears I’d worked at holding back, broke free. I let them stream down my face shamelessly.
His lips, trembling, came to rest on mine. His kiss was sweet. His hands gentle.
“Please?” he murmured against my lips. “Don’t go.”
“Jack. I have to choose, and I chose. I have to know if—”
He cut me off by kissing me, his tongue easily gaining entrance to my willing mouth.
I pushed against his strong chest. He let me.
“I won’t give up on you, Beth. I can’t. You are a part of me as much as I am a part of you. You can go back to Napa, but you’ll always be here.” He placed his hands over his heart. “I’ll wait for you. I’ll wait because you’re worth it.”
I leaned in and sweetly kissed the side of his mouth. I would have kissed his cheek, but that was too cold. And if I placed my lips on his, I wouldn’t have left. Pulling back, I could see the sadness in his eyes, and a glimmer of hope. I swallowed, turned, and walked away.
* * *
I remembered standing there in his foyer, the tears…flowing, the ache in my chest…unbearable. How could I have walked away? And returned to… this. A life with a husband who was apparently incapable of change.
My right thumb ran over the new band on its hand, while my thumb on my left hand fidgeted with the wedding bands.
I’d come home convinced that my little planned abduction of Greg and the surprise few days would be fun, and that when we got home, I’d maybe have at least a week of a new Greg. After the lackluster stay in the hotel, his refusal of my advances, his refusal to take a dominant position, and returning to the house, it was as if I had never left. Sunday night over dinner, I’d made Chicken Parmesan, I suggested marriage counseling. He practically laughed. You’re kidding right? We’re fine. We’re going to be just fine, he said. Then, on Monday, Jack showed up with an invitation to dinner. An invitation I was going to decline. But then Greg called in with a late night cancellation of dinner. Tonight, a baseball game was more important than an evening with me….
Jack had followed me to California within a week. He has been attentive and respectful. He has been doing things for me. And I had no reason to believe things would change. But then again, I’ve only known him for a month. This was still the honeymoon phase. He was surrounded by amazingly beautiful, young, and powerful women. His whole past was littered with women. Women who clearly wanted him. He had been a proud confirmed bachelor. Could I handle that? Could he? Would he tire of me?
What would be worse? A safe, comfortable, yet neglected life? Or a life that could end in an instant?
I was an emotional basket case. My ‘lady days’ had ended. Maybe hormones were still messing with my mind. I just needed a full day to clear my head.
CHAPTER 34
After the intermission, Beth was different. She kept to herself. Her constant fidgeting didn’t go unnoticed. The show ended, we applauded.
“The show was… lovely,” she said, a small smile on her face. But it wasn’t a smile that reached her eyes.
I racked my brain with what to say. I overstepped. I had one more card to play. Silently we walked to the limo, an artificial smile on Beth’s face.
We settled into the car, and the driver started off toward Napa. “Can I get you a drink?” I asked, grabbing a glass from the bar in the back of the limo.
She nodded.
“Wine or Scotch?” I offered.
“Scotch, please,” she whispered. Fuck! If she’s asking for hard stuff, she’s not in a relaxed way.
I poured two Macallan’s and handed her a glass. She immediately took a generous sip and let her head drop back onto the headrest.
“I’m sorry, Be—” I started, but stopped immediately when her head popped up and her eyes went wide on me.
“Don’t be. I’m the one who should be sorry. You’ve given me this perfect night, and then I…” she let the sentence drift. You what?? I wanted to scream. “It’s just that none of this is easy.”
Go for broke, Stevens. “It was easy in Manhattan. Come home with me tomorrow.” I pulled a folded piece of paper from my breast pocket. “This is the info for the flight home. Private jet. Napa airport.”
She carefully unfolded the paper as if it were rare and precious, her hands trembling. I popped on the light so she could read the details. “God give me strength,” she sighed. “You’re out of your mind.”
“Do you love me? Do you feel for Greg what you feel for me?”
“Jack, that’s not—”
“Just answer the question. Don’t rationalize or listen to the voices in your head. Listen to your heart. Do you love me?”
She stared deeply into my eyes. “Yes, Jack.” My breathing quickened. I wanted to hear her say it. I wanted to hear those words. I willed her to say them. “I love you.” I crashed my lips to hers and consumed her, while she kissed me back, pound-for-pound what I gave her. I pulled her into me and hugged her tightly.
“But—”
“No buts, Beth,” I said pushing her back and leveling her with my eyes. “Love is all you need.”
“Did you just quote the Beatles?”
“I guess I did. But it’s true.”
“Can I think about it?” she asked.
I looked at my watch. “The plane leaves in about twelve hours.”
We fell into a silence. It wasn
’t a comfortable one, but it wasn’t exactly strained. She was processing.
“I have a confession to make. A couple of confessions, actually,” I said
“Uh-oh. Should I be nervous?” she asked.
“When you left, you broke my heart.”
Her face fell, and she was quiet. She looked up at me, her eyes brimming with tears. “I’m sorry.”
“I got rip roaring drunk and spent three days in a stupor.”
“Jack—”
“I’m not telling you this for pity, just, Becca found me and sobered me up.”
“She’s a good friend, you’re very lucky.”
“She told me to come here to you. She told me to come and get my heart back. Beth,” I searched her eyes to see if she was hearing me. She was. “You are my heart. You’re what makes it tick. You’re the missing piece. When I’m with you, I feel at peace. When I’m with you, I feel like things make sense. Before I met you, I was meandering through life. I never understood why people got married. I had meaningless flings and did what I could to make it through the next day. But the day you came into my life, I looked forward to getting up and making it through the day to see you. I had fun planning things to do with you. I finally got it. I understood why people got married. I understood what they were talking about when they would drone on about how their guy or girl made them feel. Am I making sense?”
She nodded and closed her eyes. A tear streamed down her face.
“Hey, I didn’t mean to make you cry. I’m sorry. I just wanted to say my piece while you consider your next move.” I cupped her adorable face, and brushed the tear away with my thumb.
“You continually surprise me,” she said covering my hand with hers. “You say the most beautiful things, and—”
“And?” And you already said you love me. You’ve decided? You’ve chosen me?
“I have so much to think about,” she sighed, sliding down in her seat and tucking herself under my arm. I pulled her in close and relished the contact. I tried recording in my brain every detail about her. Her scents, her sounds, her taste…
Not In My Wildest Dreams (Dream Series) Page 16
