by C. Elizabeth
“Saydi, I’ve waited a long time for this.”
It astounded me. “Why would you accept training me when you knew it was your own sons that were going to take my Spirit Light?”
She dipped her eyes to the ground. “I didn’t know. None of us did. Only the elders knew until recently.”
I surveyed her.
She continued, “I’m very connected with my children, even if they don’t know it. I’m a Half Light, like you, and one of my donums is that I can sometimes see what decisions Nathanael has made.”
Gaping at her. “You’re not a Tov?”
She shook her head. “It was wonderful to see you heal him today. Did you know that ability of yours, as a Half Light, can only be received by your true love?”
Again, there were no words.
Smiling, she patted my hand in understanding. “That ability is very rare in a Half Light. Now, for a Tov with that ability, it works on anyone.” Her eyes filled with tears. “I was so happy when I saw he found true love.”
“But he was hurt because of it,” I reminded, feeling guilty.
“Yes, you’re right, but Nathanael is a man of honor, not like his brothers. He knew what would happen when he refused.”
“Why would he do it then? That’s what I don’t understand. I wanted to ask him today, but every time he thought about that day, he got so sad.”
The look on her face showed me she understood how I felt, but was also one of determination. “They had to know he wouldn’t take your Spirit Light. It was part of Nathanael’s plan, because he knew that by willingly accepting his punishment, he’d gained his father’s ultimate trust.”
She swept some of my hair away from my face.
“You see, in confessing to his father, he’s proven his loyalty.” She smiled. “My son is very smart. He knows what is needed to stay on his father’s good side and still gain what he wants.”
Nathanael was in every thought running through my head. “He could have figured out a way without going through that.”
“Saydi, dear.” She stroked her hand down my face. “Nathanael had no choice. His father knew how he felt about you, and knew Nathanael wouldn’t take your Spirit Light willingly. There was no way for Nathanael to deceive Andrew about that. So you see, he had to do what he did because if he didn’t...” A sob choked up her throat. “They would have taken him right at that moment, branded him a traitor and more than likely killed him.”
I gaped at Nathanael’s mom, realizing for the first time how awful it must have been to see her children live apart from her as Half Nights. She, like Dad, couldn’t hold her children, participate in their lives, or overtly love them. It had to be torture, especially for a mother.
The air seized in my lungs, forcing me to cough. It was real. Her words told me that what was happening wasn’t a video game or game at all...it was real, and we could all die. “How do you handle it, knowing all this stuff?”
“Being afraid to die isn’t living and living isn’t being afraid to die.”
Again, there was nothing coming from my mouth.
Shrugging, she continued, “Eventually, it becomes easier. It’s my life, my reality. Just think, I’ve known since you were born I’d be teaching you, but never did I think Nathanael would be part of the equation. It was a joyous occasion to know it was you who would have his heart.”
“Thank you.” She was a very nice woman. “If you’re half god, then that means Nathanael is a quarter god, too.”
Her laugh was almost infectious. “Yes, and it will be interesting to see how he reacts when he finds out.”
“That’s so cool.”
“He’s inherited the good in me.” She tapped her heart. “Always feel with your heart, for your heart is the path to your soul, your soul is the path to the truth.” Then she kissed my cheek. “You are beautiful.”
Somehow, coming from her made it true, and with a small smile I said, “Thanks.”
“I can see why my son fell for you.”
Looking down, I played with my fingers...and secretly smiled inside, hearing Nathanael say, “We really have to work on that!”
“Thank you,” I replied to Mora.
“I love my boys very much and it was on their birth it was revealed to me who their father was. For me, all I wanted was to have a normal life.” She touched my arm. “Nathanael has the strengths of me and Andrew. He’ll need to practice individually like you are doing.”
I stated the obvious. “He doesn’t need to practice. He’s grown up with it and knows exactly what he can do.”
“There is more yet to come, Saydi. He doesn’t know all his donums.”
“Mora, can I ask you something?”
“Mm-hm.”
“Why did you leave them? I mean, I understand not wanting to be with Mr. Braxton, but why didn’t you take them with you?”
With a sigh, she answered, “It was never Andrew’s intention to allow me in their lives. I was blessed to get their first month.” Hesitating, she chewed on her lower lip for a second. “Nathanael was very sickly and was the smallest of the three. He had lung problems, not to mention horrible allergies.” Tears welled up in her eyes. “I rocked him, nurtured him and made him strong.”
“What about Job and Joshua?”
“Oh Saydi, them too! Very often all three were in my arms or sleeping together.” Then her features changed, went dark. “When Nathanael was strong, Andrew banished me from my boys and poisoned them against me. Andrew used me to get his heirs, ones that not only had his abilities, but mine as well, making his boys the strongest of the Half Nights.”
“I’m sorry.”
She shook her head. “Don’t be. Now I get a second chance to rebuild my relationship with at least one of my sons, and I’ll go to the ends of the earth to do it.”
Twenty-six
The following day, Mom made me go to school. We all had to be as normal as possible, even if I was exhausted. The night before wasn’t so good… me trying to file away all the new information and wondering how all my donums would work. Sleep took a long time to come and the morning dawned way too fast.
I stopped at the store to see Miranda and get a pop for lunch.
“Hi,” I called when the bells above the door rang.
She bolted toward me and hugged the stuffing out of me. “Hi, how is everything?”
“Good,” I lulled.
When she spoke, she was bouncing on her toes. “So...what’s new?”
Then I realized what she was doing. She didn’t want me to know the news had hit the local gossip wave. She had me smiling. “Yes, my dad is alive and home.”
She clapped her hands quickly and grabbed me again. “How are you with it? Are you happy about it?”
With my face mashed against her shoulder, I protested, “Miranda, you’re suffocating me.”
“Oh, sorry.” She let me breathe and actually allowed me to move around. “Well?” she inquired.
“I’m probably a tad bit happier about it than you,” I said, grabbing a pop from the cooler.
She went around the counter to punch in my purchase, still bouncing a bit on her toes. “Everyone’s talking about it. You have to tell me everything later. I want to know the truth, not the novel the ol’ hens are wagging on about.”
She made me laugh. “I will.”
“I mean it!” she called after me as I left.
In my mind I wheeled about what I imagined the gossip train was saying. Dad probably had been captured by terrorists, had been married five or six times, and had at least twenty children. They probably threw in some kind of disease for good measure. I giggled to myself.
~ * ~
When I saw Angie at my locker, my worry for her and Becky came flooding back. How do you tell your best friends they’re dating half-demons? You can’t. I just hoped Job and Joshua were a little bit like Nathanael and if not, Angie and Becky would see what jerks they were.
“I hear Nathanael’s home,” she said sweetly.
She playfully punched me in the arm. “He looks good.”
Peering at her, I asked, “When did you see him?”
“Saturday night at the fire.”
My stomach heaved and I gulped. “The fire?”
“Yeah, Mr. Braxton invited us exclusively, and we stayed up all night drinking. It was fun. I would have invited you, but you’d already made plans with Norma. Besides, Mr. Braxton swore us to secrecy. He said he wanted to get to know us better on a more quaint basis.”
The memory of seeing Nathanael with blood red eyes jammed a shiver up my spine—my stomach tightened. No! Please no! “Who was...all there?” I had to concentrate to get the words out without screeching.
She wrapped her arm through mine as we walked to Social. “Mr. Braxton, Nathanael, Job, Joshua, me, Becky, Segra, Mattie, Jocelyn, Jason, Jimmy and Danny.”
Swallowing hard, I said, “Why were Segra and them there?” The battle to stay sane was fading along with my ability to present my normal persona.
Flapping one hand in the air, she stated, “Oh! I have no idea. They weren’t any fun at all.”
My breakfast was threatening to come up. “Why didn’t you call me...?” She just told you why, idiot, change your story, quickly! “...um...to tell me Nathanael was home?”
“I figured it would be a surprise.” It came out so casually.
All my friends were part of it. They helped to hurt Nathanael, and she was telling me like it was no big deal, that it was just a regular party. The anger flared almost to the point she was going to get hurt. “I’ve got to go!” I hurried to the bathroom, shoved open one the stall doors and fell on my knees...My breakfast looked like I felt.
~ * ~
As the day progressed, I avoided them as much as possible. It made me mad every time I saw them. Why would they do that and act so nonchalant about it, like it was no big deal?
Toward the end of the day, they called me on it.
“What’s your problem?” Becky shoved me.
Lunging forward, I steadied myself by throwing my hand on the locker. “What are you talking about?” I twisted to confront her.
“You’ve been avoiding us all day.” Angie threw daggers at me with her eyes.
There wasn’t much I could say to them. I went back to what I was doing prior. “I have to go!”
It wasn’t fair to Norma; she didn’t do anything. But, unfortunately, she was always with them. “Why are you acting like that?” she asked.
“Acting like what?” Playing dumb seemed reasonable.
“Like that. What did we do?” Norma was almost crying.
Slamming my locker door, I walked away. “Leave me alone!”
They followed me out the door and once outside, one of them shoved me hard. I stumbled and barely was able to catch myself. We’d had fights before, but they never got physical. It shocked me how quickly it had.
“What are you doing?” I yelled.
“What’s wrong, Saydi? Is it the fact we were with your boyfriend on Saturday night and you weren’t included?” Becky antagonized.
“No, that’s not it at all!” In a way it was, but only because what they were doing to him.
Angie smirked, “Yeah, you were right, Becky, it is about Saturday night and she’s pissed about it.” Her eyes grew dark and her mouth twisted into a sinister grin, giving me a chill. “You weren’t invited, Saydi, because it was a private...party, all for Nathanael.” She threw her head back, laughing, and so did Becky. Norma simply stood there and darted her eyes from me to them.
There was an insinuation in the way Angie said it that had me flinch. “Why are you doing this? Why are you being so horrible?” I turned and ran.
The questions flew through my mind at lightning speed. How could they turn on me so fast? I knew I wasn’t being nice, but to get so physical and mean... Maybe Angie wasn’t insinuating? Maybe it was just my own fear? Could something like that be part of the ritual he chose? No one had told me what was involved with it—the tears burned down my face.
A car rolled up beside me. Not wanting them to taunt me anymore—my heart couldn’t take it—I took off faster and my feet felt light as air as they sped down the street. The wind moved all around but didn’t touch me, and my tears fell as I left the car in the dust.
“Whoa, slow down,” Nathanael said, swinging me around by the arm. “What’s going on? You scared me!” he exclaimed, pulling me into his chest.
Taking a deep breath to calm my nerves, I looked behind him. His car was parked two blocks away and we were already two doors from my house. I looked from his car to the house, then back to the car.
He chuckled. “The car couldn’t go that fast. I had to park it to catch up to you.”
“I ran that?” I asked, incredulous, again looking to the car, then the house.
“Yes, you’re almost as fast as me, but not quite. What happened? You were completely panicked a few minutes ago.”
“The girls...” I shot a look off to the side, almost, but not quite, down to the ground.
He lifted my chin to meet his gaze. “I like seeing your eyes. What happened?”
“What’s involved in that ritual thing?”
“Why? It’s not really something you need to know, nor do I want you to know.”
“Does it involve you having...?” I couldn’t say it.
“Me having...?” He looked at me sideways with big eyes.
“The girls insinuated that you may have done stuff...even with Segra.”
Not denying it, he licked his lips and sighed.
“Nathanael!” I choked out.
There was such a beautiful look on his face when he bundled me up in his arms and fixed his eyes on mine. “No...‘things’ are not part of the ritual. They’re lying to you.”
“Why? It was creepy how mean they got so fast.”
He took a deep breath. “The rituals don’t only affect the person it’s happening to, it affects the deliverers as well.”
“I thought it was supposed to be pure demons only?”
You could tell the way he darted his glance around he didn’t want to talk about, but did, reluctantly. “They were there, you just couldn’t see them. How else would the humans be able to do what they did with the fire? They can’t without help.”
It made no sense. “Why even involve my friends? Why wouldn’t the demons just do it themselves?”
He proceeded with caution. “Because...if they get caught, the humans will be blamed.”
“Then how do you know you didn’t do something with them? Weren’t you being possessed, too?”
The warmth of his lips found mine. “I was in a trance, not possessed, and I was totally aware of everything. If I weren’t, how would I know to summon a deer to get you out of there? I assure you, nothing happened.” And to lighten the mood, he did an elaborate shiver, shaking his whole body. “Eww, Segra. Brrr.”
Even with my smile, it didn’t lighten my mood enough to stop my earlier anger turning to fear when I realized how easily my friends could be influenced. It boiled over. “Nathanael, why didn’t you tell me?” I demanded, thrusting my finger down the block toward the swimming hole.
“Whoa! Where did that come from?”
My face scrunched up, mean-like. “Answer me!”
There was an amused expression on his face as he pointed right at me. “Because, I didn’t know Father had recruited them until that night, and also because you wouldn’t have been able to act normal in front of them.”
“Do they know what you are?” I asked, tromping fast to the house.
He trotted behind. “No, and they didn’t know what they were doing.”
Once inside, I turned on him. “How can they not know the stuff they did to you? Nathanael, I can’t believe you didn’t tell me!” I blasted, then marched toward the kitchen.
In silence, he closed the front door and followed, staying calm. “Saydi, the power of suggestion...
They’re being brainwashed in a way, and after it’s all said and done, a suggestion is given to minimize what they remember. To them it was a private party, with lots of drinking.”
It was obvious my friends could be played like puppets. My anger percolated, not toward them, but toward Nathanael—he knew how it worked and what his dad was capable of. It exploded out of me with a scream. “Why didn’t you stop them? Why? Why did you let them do that?”
The green/blue converted to almost pure black, his face twisted in a grimace and his voice rumbled deep from his throat. “Saydi! If you haven’t noticed...I didn’t have much to say about it, since it was me they were trying to beat down!”
I leaned back against the counter, crossing my arms. “You could have done something!”
He placed one hand on top of the fridge and the other on his hip. Baring down, he talked through his teeth. “You’re not making sense! Think about what you’re saying! How the hell could I do anything?”
There was truth and logic to what he was saying, leaving my mind tripping over itself, struggling desperately to justify my reaction. “You...you...demon!”
Pushing past him, he stumbled back and I marched toward my room.
Nathanael stood in my doorway, blocking me. “You can’t run away from an argument, especially with me.”
“Oh yeah? Watch me!” I grabbed the collar of his shirt and heaved, yanking him behind me, then shoved my door closed. It slammed shut.
He was in the middle of my room with a Cheshire cat grin on his face. “No, you can’t.”
I shook my finger at him. “Stop doing that! You should’ve stopped them!” I lashed out.
Gritting his teeth, he held the bridge of his nose as if I were giving him a headache. “I couldn’t! Be reasonable, will you?”
“Eww...you’re really pissing me off!”
Shooting a look my way, he replied, “And you me!”
“Get out!”
He stood tall and smirked. “Not until you apologize.”
“Apologize? For what?”
“For punching me, pushing me, and blaming me for your friends,” he said, smugly.
