‘What’s with the box, Clar?’ Dave asked.
She gave a damp laugh. ‘It’s my astronaut helmet. Si made it for me.’
‘Sleeping like angels,’ Gemma said, smiling. ‘That must mean you’d been up to something.’
‘Yeah. Si dared me to nick a trifle from our fridge and we scoffed the lot. This is us sleeping off the custard hangover.’ She ran her finger over the photo and her throat spasmed. ‘God, I’m a total div, aren’t I?’
‘Well, yeah,’ Dave said. ‘But don’t get too upset about it, we’ve known that for years.’
‘Why were you always pushing him away, Clarrie?’ Gemma asked.
‘I just – didn’t want to lose – him, that’s all,’ she gasped between fresh sobs. ‘I thought – I’d mess it up and he’d be out of my life forever.’
‘Yeah? And where is he now?’
She snorted through her tears. ‘Out of my life forever.’
‘Right. So do something about the forever part and go get him back.’
Clarrie sank onto Dave’s shoulder and he gave her head a comforting pat.
‘What if it’s too late?’ she said, blowing her nose into the piece of kitchen roll Dave handed her. ‘I really fucked it up this time, guys. You should’ve seen him, when he left that morning after we’d had sex—’
‘What?’ Sonny’s eyebrows shot up. ‘When did you have sex?’
‘The other day… look, which of you twats was I talking to online? Own up.’
Dave raised his hand. ‘It was me, Clar. Sorry.’
‘What, and you didn’t tell these two?’
Dave shrugged. ‘I gave them the general gist, that you had a blazing row and now Si never wants to see you again. Just not the shagging bit. You were pretty slammed, I thought I’d better check with the sober version of Clarrie that she was happy to share first.’
‘Oh.’ She patted his hand. ‘Thanks, Davy. That’s… uncharacteristically sensitive of you.’
‘Weird, isn’t it? I think spending so much time with Lyns is girlifying me.’
‘Never mind your gender crisis,’ Gem said, waving a hand. ‘Tell us what happened, Clar.’
‘He stayed over, then… well, he thought that’d mean, you know, that we were together. And I said I needed more time.’
Sonny shook his head. ‘You bloody idiot.’
She gave a wet snort. ‘Now you sound like my mother,’ she said. ‘He was so angry, you lot. Never seen him like that before.’
‘I don’t blame him, after that,’ Gemma said. ‘Doesn’t mean he won’t forgive you. He loves you.’ She grabbed Sonny round the neck and gave him a swift nuggy, rubbing his hair with her fist. ‘I got this knobhead back after I seriously ballsed up, didn’t I? Took me over a year, mind. Let’s see if you can beat my record.’
‘Don’t mess with the do, Gem.’ Sonny smoothed his gelled hair and pushed Clarrie’s smartphone to her across the varnished wood. ‘Go on then, ring him.’
‘What, you think that hadn’t occurred to me? I’ve been ringing him pretty much constantly since he walked out. Texted, emailed – he won’t speak to me, Sonny. He’s even blocked me on Facebook.’
‘Then here, try mine,’ Sonny said, fishing out his phone. ‘He’ll think it’s me.’
‘What will I say?’
Sonny shrugged. ‘An apology might be a start. “Sorry I used you as my sex chimp, broke your heart and casually tossed you aside”?’
‘Yeah. Maybe not the sex chimp part.’
She pulled up Si’s number and hit the Call button, her nerves shooting into her throat. It already felt like so long since she’d heard his voice.
He answered after three rings with a brisk ‘All right, mate?’ He sounded tired; drained.
‘Si, it’s me—’
She put the phone down on the table. ‘He hung up.’
‘Right, new plan,’ Gemma said. ‘We’ll wait outside school and catch him.’
‘How, rugby tackle him? I’m not stalking him, Gem. Lurking outside schools is not likely to endear me to him. Might get me arrested though.’
‘Okay, then the house.’
‘Tried it already. He wouldn’t answer the door.’
‘Well, what then?’
‘I’ve got a sort-of plan. Been thinking about it since last night at my mum’s.’
‘Go on,’ Dave said.
‘Right, so you know in Top Gun? At first Mav’s flying high, right?’ Clarrie’s eyes glittered feverishly. ‘He’s got a place at the academy, he’s got his best mate at his side and he’s finally got his shot at being Top Gun. And he knows he can do it too. But then Goose dies and he’s lost his closest friend, his nerve, everything.’
Dave looked confused. ‘Sorry, who’s Maverick in this analogy, you or Si?’
‘Me. Si’s Iceman.’
‘Who’s Charlie then?’
‘Nobody’s Charlie. Charlie’s irrelevant,’ Clarrie said, waving a hand. ‘What matters is, Mav needed to lose everything to realise what was really important, didn’t he? Because he took it all for granted until it was gone. And then it’s only by proving to Ice he cares more about him than about being Top Gun that he can win back his trust.’
Sonny looked at Gemma. ‘Do you know what she’s going on about?’
Gemma shrugged. ‘Are you kidding? I’ve never even seen Top Gun. Spoiler alert might’ve been nice.’
‘So are you saying that to win Si back, you have to become a naval fighter pilot?’ Dave asked, looking more puzzled than ever.
‘No. I’m saying I have to prove to him he’s what matters to me most.’ Clarrie cast a determined look around the other Flower Arrangers. ‘I’m saying we’re going to win the League.’
‘You what?’ Gem said.
‘He bet me a date on it. If we win it’ll show I want to be with him, won’t it? You know, be symbolic and all that.’
‘And do you want to be with him?’ Dave asked. ‘You’re not going to mess him about again, are you, Clar? Get scared and go hide?’
She shook her head. ‘God, I’ve been so stupid. I always thought, if it didn’t work out between us – but I’ve got nothing left to lose now, have I? Just like Maverick. I need to do something to show Si I’m ready, that’s all.’
‘And you think winning the League’ll show him that?’
‘Yeah, it’ll be romantic. Si loves stuff like that, it’s why he made the daft bet in the first place. You know it was never really about some stupid date. It’s like, with all the studying and plotting, he was trying to prove himself to me or something. If I can turn it around, show him I’ll fight for him…’
Sonny looked doubtful. ‘But how’re we going to win? We proper buggered up after you stomped out at that last quiz, you know. It put Si right off his game.’
‘Shit, did it?’ Clarrie felt a stab of guilt when she remembered how she’d left them to do the second half alone. ‘What’re we on then?’
‘Five behind Les Quizerables. They’d have to really have an off day to slip that far back in the final.’
‘Five? Bollocks!’ She screwed her determined face up a notch. ‘But we can still do it, guys, I know we can. Here, come next door.’
Clarrie stood and went into the bookshop, the rest of the team following. She led them to the reference section and pointed up at the shelves.
‘I’ve got copies of all them books Si bought off me, and some others as well. And there’s four of us. Five if Jeff’s up for it. We’ve got five days to swot up.’
‘And that’s really the best plan we’ve got for un-fucking your life, is it?’ Dave shook his head. ‘You’re doomed, love.’
‘You could try interventioning on Si,’ she said, looking across at Gemma, who seemed to be intervention team leader. ‘See if you can get him to talk to me.’
‘Already tried it,’ Gem said. ‘We went round earlier, he wouldn’t let us in. Soon as we mentioned you he told us he didn’t want to talk about it and we could bugger off and mind our own business.’
<
br /> Clarrie smiled. ‘Yeah, he would do that.’
‘You’re seriously getting all dewy-eyed over him telling us to bugger off?’ Sonny said. ‘You’ve really got it bad, lass.’
‘Tragic, isn’t it? Look, my plan’s best, I know how his mind works. If we win… he’ll know what it means.’ She smiled to herself, picturing Si’s face all those times his expression had been soft, his eyes wide and confiding. His baby otter look. ‘He’s a soppy git at heart, you know.’
‘And what if we don’t win?’ Sonny asked.
In answer, she grabbed a book off the shelf and chucked it to him. ‘Let’s hope we won’t have to find out.’
31
14th Annual Denworth Quiz League: Leaderboard
The Hole in t’Wall, Match 8 of 8
1st place – Les Quizerables (469)
2nd place – The Mighty Morphin’ Flower Arrangers (464)
3rd place – The Murgatroyd Family (457)
There was a lot of competition over who got to host the quiz league final, but this year the Sorting Hat had awarded it to Gaz’s place, the Hole in t’Wall. It felt serendipitous that the outcome would be decided in the same pub Clarrie and Si had made their bet in the first place.
‘All right?’ Clarrie said to Sonny when she arrived, dropping into a chair. ‘You the first here?’
‘Yeah. Hiya, Clar.’
He looked odd. Overdressed, like he had been for the barbecue but minus the tie, with a strange, glassy expression in his eyes. And something even more out of character, he was smiling.
‘You okay?’ she said.
He shuffled his chair to her side and nudged her. ‘Oi. Guess what.’
‘Stop grinning, Sonny, it doesn’t suit you.’
‘Yeah, guess what though.’
‘I dunno, what?’
‘Got a secret, Clar. Here.’
He nodded to his jacket. Clarrie glanced down to see him open a small box inside his pocket, the glint of something circular and diamondy with a Gem’s finger-sized hole in the middle.
‘Bloody hell, Sonny!’
‘Yep.’
‘Bloody hell, Sonny!’
Her friend was still grinning a very un-Sonny-like grin. ‘Well? Is that all you’re going to say?’
‘Bloody hell, Sonny!’ Clarrie shook herself as she tried to absorb what was going on. ‘What, tonight?’
‘Yeah. Got something sorted with Tim. Don’t tell the others, ’K?’
‘Bloody… I mean, wow! When did you decide to do that?’
‘About eighteen months ago. But then Gem thought I’d knocked her up and shagged that bloke so I had to put it off for a bit.’
‘What about your mum?’
‘Told her. She cried.’
‘God, that bad?’
‘Nah, she was chuffed. I nearly had to gag her before she started ringing the whole family about it. She’s probably picking out names for the fourteen grandchildren she reckons we’re going to give her.’
‘Ouch. Don’t let her say stuff like that around Gem, she’ll be off over the hills.’
‘Yeah, she wouldn’t be the only one. One grown-up thing at a time, eh?’
‘So you reckon she’ll say yes? You look pretty confident.’
He shrugged. ‘Dunno. I don’t feel nervous though. Think I’m on some sort of adrenaline high.’ He reached an arm around her and kissed her on the cheek.
Clarrie twisted her neck to look at the arm across her shoulders. ‘You’re creepy like this, man. It’s freaking me out.’
‘Ha! Don’t care. Tell you what, right now I don’t even care if we win the League. Except for your and Si’s benefit, obviously.’
‘Jesus Christ. Did you take something before you came out?’
‘Just a healthy dose of love, optimism and perspective, Clarissa, my dear.’
‘I might just vom. Stop it, Sonny. Sulk or something.’
‘Ugh. Fine. When Dave gets here I’ll tell him to fuck off, just for you.’
‘That’s more like it. Ta.’
‘So what about you then?’ he asked. ‘You hear from Si?’
She sighed, looking accusingly at her own fingers twisting a beer mat to death. ‘No. He still won’t take my calls. If we win I’ll text him a photo of the trophy, see if he gets it. I know it’s a long shot, but… best I’ve got.’
Sonny was still grinning.
‘You did take something, didn’t you?’ Clarrie said. ‘Did Dave stash a bit of weed away for emergencies or something?’
‘No. Well, probably. But that’s not it.’ Sonny yanked out his smartphone. ‘Look.’
He pulled up a text message and showed it to her.
It was to Simon.
Come on over to the Hole tonight, mate. Something I really want you to be here for
Attached to the message was a photo of the engagement ring Sonny had bought for Gemma.
Underneath was Si’s reply.
Bloody hell, Sonny! See you there
‘Bloody he— I mean, shit!’ Clarrie narrowed her eyes. ‘You’re not getting engaged just to get Si here, are you?’
‘Erm, no. I love you, Clarrie, but not enough to stick my head in the noose unless I was good and ready,’ he said. ‘Just thought I might as well kill two birds, that’s all. Anyway, I don’t want to do it without Si.’
‘Thanks, Sonny.’ She leaned across to kiss his cheek. ‘Love you too.’
‘Aww, give over.’ Sonny almost blushed, although his new perma-grin showed no sign of disappearing. ‘Anything to see you two stop pissing about and finally be happy.’
‘Sonny? Can I ask you something?’ she asked, twisting to face him.
‘If you want.’
‘What did happen that day in the sixth form common room?’
‘Oh God. You really want to know?’
‘Yeah, go on.’
‘All right. But you’re not allowed to bollock me about it now.’ He fortified himself with a mouthful of Guinness. ‘Right, well, there was a gang of us having a free period. Don’t remember who exactly – Si, Daz, Davy, that lass Laura Tindall, few others. You’d been round mine the night before, I was quite rightly feeling pretty pleased with myself—’
‘Yeah, I bet you were.’
‘Look, when you’re dynamite in the sack it’s only natural to want to share, okay?’
‘Right, dynamite as in short fuse, goes off too quickly. You lasted like two minutes.’
‘Get lost, it was at least five. Not bad for my first crack at it. Anyway, may have exaggerated the thing slightly—’
‘Go on, what did you say?’ she said with a grin. ‘Bet this’ll be good.’
‘Well, I think we did it at least four times in my version. You might’ve come six or seven times too, possibly a few more.’
‘You’re a cheeky bugger. Anything else?’
‘Er…’ Sonny cast a guilty look into the depths of his Guinness. ‘Look, don’t hit me, Clar. This was ten years ago.’
‘Go on, what was it?’
‘All right, well I might’ve implied, I mean in a really classy way, that you were pretty dirty in bed.’
‘Bastard!’
‘Hey, I meant it as a compliment. I was sixteen, I basically thought that was one of the nicest things you could say about a girl,’ he said, shrugging. ‘Anyway, that’s when Si flipped. Next minute he’d thrown himself at me and we were fighting on the floor. Kept shouting I had no right or something.’
‘No right to what?’
‘Dunno, you probably. He was crying as well, it was proper weird.’
‘Shit. Poor Si.’ Clarrie blinked hard, fighting a sudden urge to cry herself.
‘Oh right, what about poor Sonny? I was the one who got a knuckle sandwich between the eyes.’
‘You had it coming. Telling everyone I was dirty. Well, then what?’
‘Told him I was sorry, that calmed him down,’ Sonny said. ‘Possibly that and the sight of my beautiful face bleeding all over the place. The
n we got up, shook hands and that was it, we were friends again.’
‘Sorry for what?’
‘Not sure really. I just felt guilty all of a sudden.’
‘Really?’
‘Yeah, like I’d shagged his bird or something. Funny, I didn’t even know he fancied you then.’ He nudged her. ‘S’pose we always knew you were for him in the end, eh?’
She smiled sadly. ‘Seems like everyone knew that but me.’
‘Well. You always were a massive div.’
Sonny made an effort to fix his face into its usual petulant resting frown as Dave arrived and sank wearily into a seat next to Clarrie.
‘Hiya Clar. Hiya mate.’
Sonny regarded him with concern. His best friend’s face was deathly white and there were heavy blue bags under his eyes.
‘Not back on the weed, are you, Davy? You’re all pale.’
Clarrie looked at Dave’s drawn, anxious face with a sudden jolt of premonition.
‘Where’s your dad, Dave?’
He managed a smile. ‘You win and can claim your ten pounds, Clar. He’s not coming.’
‘Why? Did your mum lock him in for not doing the washing-up again?’ Sonny asked, stretching an arm behind Clarrie to give Dave’s shoulder a sympathetic press.
Dave reached up to pat Sonny’s hand on his shoulder. ‘No… thanks, mate. No, not this time. He’s staying at the Travelodge in town.’ He gave a grim laugh. ‘Apparently Mum caught him up to his balls in Mandy Atkinson when she got back early from Bingo last night. Never knew the old giffer still had it in him. I was at Lyndsey’s, thank Christ, so I missed most of the fireworks.’
Clarrie and Sonny stared at him.
‘Well?’ Dave said with a tired smile. ‘Nothing to say, you guys?’
Sonny shook his head. ‘Not sure what we can say to that.’
‘Shit!’ Clarrie managed. ‘So do you think that’s it then? She’s taken him back before.’
‘It better be this time. Should’ve happened years ago. Anyway, I’m not sticking around to find out.’
‘You’re not finally moving out?’ Sonny asked.
‘Yeah. Lyns has asked me to move in with her.’
‘It’s a bit soon for that, isn’t it?’
Dave shrugged. ‘Better than hanging around at home, and I can’t afford to do it on my own. I mean, I know it’s early days still, but I do love her.’
A Question of Us Page 27
