Chapter 30
Santy calls Clarissa early the next morning, and Clarissa’s grandmother answers the phone.
“Hello?” she says.
“Hello, is Clarissa home?” Santy asks.
“Who may I ask is calling?” her grandmother says in her best “who-is-this-voice.”
“This is Dick Santy; she’s expecting my call.”
“Let me see if she’s at home,” her grandmother says protectively.
After a long pause, Clarissa picks up the phone, “Hello, Mr. Santy. Did you find anything about her yet?” Clarissa asks secretively, knowing her grandmother might be listening.
“Yes, I’ve got some good news, sort of. Christine McAndrews is in Hoag Hospital, suffering from some form of cancer. I don’t know how bad it is or even if they’ll let you see her. I would say you should get down there anyway and at least try to see her.”
Clarissa feels a surge of adrenaline, tampered by dread, upon hearing the news of her mother.
“Thank you so much! I’m going to try and go see her right now if I can!!”
“Let me know how it goes, will you? I don’t mean to pry into personal stuff, but I am curious about how it will all play out.”
“I’ll call you, I promise. Thank you so much.”
Clarissa hangs up the phone and looks back towards the kitchen to see the edge of her grandmother’s nightgown disappearing around the corner. Clarissa smiles and hurries out to her room to get dressed.
With much trepidation, she speeds down the 55 Freeway towards Newport Beach to visit the hospital. She has butterflies as she asks the receptionist at the hospital for Ms. McAndrews’ room number. She crosses her fingers, saying to herself, I hope. I hope! Please God, make it be true.
She enters a private room and sees a frail woman whose hair has all fallen out, sitting up in bed. Clarissa thinks, “She must have been wearing a wig at that charity event in the newspaper.”
Clarissa enters the room and says, “Are you Christine McAndrews?”
Christine had been staring out the window and when she hears Clarissa’s voice, she looks surprised at seeing her. “Yes. And who are you?”
“I’m your daughter.”
“You’re my what?”
“Your daughter. Ivan Romanov told me about you. He said you were my mother.”
Christine freezes, in silent disbelief at what she’s just heard.
“Oh my God. Ivan. Ivan. I could kill him right now.”
“Why? What did he do?”
“He has a big mouth.”
“Is it true?”
“Is your father Steve Rogers?
“Yes!”
“Then, it’s true.”
“Oh my God,” Clarissa says and she sinks into a nearby chair. She can hardly speak, she’s crying so much. She’s going through so many conflicting feelings. Even though she knows her mother is sick, she still gets very angry at her.
“Why did you desert me and Dad? How come you never looked me up after Dad died? I felt like an orphan without any parents.”
Her mother starts to cry and says, “I knew all about you, Clarissa. I’m so sorry. Do you really think I could be that cold? I hired a private detective who’s been following you for years. I have an entire photo album of pictures of you through the years.”
Clarissa says, “If you went to all of that trouble, why haven’t you ever talked to me?”
“I had my reasons. I knew that leaving you with Steve and his family would be the best life for you.”
“I still don’t understand why. What were your reasons?”
“Maybe you’d better ask Ivan Romanov since he seems to know so much.”
“You mean the guy who killed Dad?”
“He didn’t kill him. He loved him. I want you to always remember that.”
“Well, if Ivan didn’t do it, who did?”
“I’m not sure; but I know it wasn’t Ivan. He wasn’t always a bad guy. He had a heart, just like the rest of us. And he loved your father.”
“Was Ivan ever mean to you?”
“No. We had good times together, us “Three Mouseketeers.”
“Three Mouseketeers?” What do you mean?”
“I’ll tell you all about it sometime.”
“Why don’t you tell me now?”
“I’m dying, Clarissa. They say I only have a month to live. I have really aggressive ovarian cancer. Why can’t we just enjoy each other for the brief time I have left?”
“I’m sorry you’re dying. I really am. I wish I would have found you sooner.”
“Me, too. But, I really do want to be part of your life. Better late than never.”
“Can I come and see you again?”
“Of course you can. I want to get to know you better. I want to hear all about what you’ve been doing these last 18 years. What are your plans? College?”
“I’m thinking of becoming a paralegal.”
“That’s wonderful news. I know you probably don’t want to hear this right now, but I will be leaving you a lot of money in my will. My husband died two years ago, so I own his entire estate. You could use it to go to law school.”
Clarissa starts crying and says, “I don’t want your money. I want my mother and father.”
“I’m so very sorry, sweetheart; but I’m sure glad you found me.”
“Mother. I have a mother.”
Christine starts crying, “Not much of a mother, am I?”
“You’re my mother.”
“Come here. Give me a hug, sweetie.”
Clarissa reaches over and embraces a very thin and fragile person who feels like a bag of bones. They stay in this position for a long time. She asks her mother if she needs anything. “Can I bring you some books? Nightgowns? Your wig, maybe?”
Christine smiles and says, “I just want you.”
“Mom,” Clarissa says. “Are there any more secrets you’re keeping from me?”
“I will try to tell you more, but I’m getting really tired right now.”
“What if you die on me and I never get to know?”
Smiling, Christine answers, “I will do my very best not to die on you.”
“Can’t we talk just a little while longer?”
“No, honey. I’m sorry. Can you come back tomorrow morning around 10:00?”
“Of course. Until tomorrow, Mom.”
“Love you, sweetheart.”
Chapter 31
After a night of restless sleep, Clarissa gets dressed to go to the hospital. Her Nana says, “Why are you wearing those clothes? Aren’t you supposed to work today?”
“I’m not feeling like going to work today. I got some important business to take care of.”
“Well, you’re certainly a girl of mystery lately. I’m starting to feel like I’m living with Nancy Drew.”
“Well, maybe I’ll be a “girl detective” someday, just like Nancy.”
“Just make sure you don’t get fired from the job you do have.”
“I’ve got big plans, Nana.”
“I’m sure you do.”
Clarissa enters the hospital room as the nurse is changing the sheets of her Mom’s bed. The nurse rolls her mother over on her side, and her Mom cries out in pain.
When the nurse repositions her, Christine catches sight of her daughter.
“Clarissa,” her Mom says. “You’re here a bit early.”
“Don’t you want to see me?”
“Of course I do. I was just hoping to make myself a little more presentable.”
“You look great to me, Mom.”
“Oh, sweetheart. I’ll bet I look just like Princess Diana right now, right?”
“Well, you do to me.”
“I feel like I’ve died and gone to heaven.”
“Not yet, Mom. I’ve just now found you.”
“So, I see you’ve brought a box with you. What’s inside?”
“This is Dad’s special box. He kept all his souvenirs in it.”
> “Oh, really. Like what?”
“Well, here are some protest buttons that say, “Nukes No/Solar Yes.”
“Ha. He saved those?”
“And here’s a picture of you and him camping.”
“Look at me wearing that bikini. My stomach’s pretty big in that picture, don’t you think? I’m pregnant with you.”
“No way!”
“Yes, I was.”
“Well, Mom; you are totally rockin’ that bikini.”
“Yeah, right.”
“Here’s a picture of you and Dad chained to a fence.”
“He saved that? Too funny.”
“Where was this picture taken?”
“We’re at San Onofre, the nuclear power plant.”
“Well, Mom. It looks like they built that plant anyway, despite all your protests.”
“I know. I was not amused, to put it mildly. Okay…Let’s see more of what’s in that box.”
“Here are some matches from the ‘20th Century Limited’. Where was that at?”
“Oh my God. He kept those? That was our favorite hang-out. We’d sit for hours smoking cigarettes and telling each other all of our dreams of traveling and going to college. I’d have ‘White Russians’ and Steve would have ‘Tequilla Sunrises’. We had just turned 21, so we wanted to act like we knew what we were doing. Steve chose his drink because he liked the Eagles song. Do you know the one I mean?”
“Oh, yeah. Tequilla Sunrise. Off the ‘Desperado’ album. I’m always listening to Dad’s record collection.”
“Don’t you like some newer music? More appropriate to your age group?”
“Sure I do.”
“Well…who do you like?”
“I’m sure you’ve never heard of him.”
“Just try me. I may be hipper than you think.”
“Okay. Do you like Elvis Costello? Did you see the Saturday Night Live episode that he was on?”
“That was a classic episode. They played ‘Radio/Radio’ and stormed off the stage.”
“I can’t believe you saw that?”
“Well…It may come as a surprise to you that I like Elvis Costello too.”
“Golly!”
“Okay. Show me more stuff from the box.”
“Here’s a group of people standing in front of ‘The Register.’ I found out that you used to work there.”
“All three of us did: your Dad, Ivan, and I. We were ‘The 3 Musketeers’.
“Did you like Ivan?”
“Yes, I did.”
“Why?”
“He always had a way with the ladies.”
“Well; it’s a good thing he didn’t have “a way” with you or you could have ended up dead, like his ex-girlfriend almost was.”
“He had a very bad temper. But he never took it out on me.”
“Oh. Mom. Look at this. This is how I found out you were my Mother. It’s a recent photo of you taken at a charity event. The article said that you are the former District Attorney’s wife. And I matched your picture with some I already had from Dad’s box.”
“You are quite the little detective, aren’t you?”
“Well. I did have some help.”
“Good. I’m glad you are here with me now.”
Clarissa digs around some more in Steve’s box and pulls out a ticket stub from a Bob Dylan concert at the Forum back in 1973. She shows it to Christine who says, “That concert was so much fun. It was the first one any of us had ever gone to and we were so excited. When we got to the Forum, we thought that the paid parking was too expensive, so we ended up parking in a residential neighborhood; only to later find that the ticket we got from parking in the neighborhood was much higher than the price if we’d parked where we should have in the first place. But it didn’t matter. We were seeing ‘Bob Dylan’. This was the concert where he played all of the ‘Blood on the Tracks’ album. Have you ever heard it?”
“Are you kidding? I listen to it all the time. I know every word by heart.”
“Aww…that’s so great.”
“Tell me about Dad.”
“Well...Steve was very handsome and all the girls really liked him. He loved you from the moment he first felt you in my belly. He was there with me when you were born. I didn’t go to the hospital to have you; I hired a midwife come to the house. When you were born, there were complications, and you came out blue. Luckily, the midwife was able to revive you, but Steve was so upset about it and angry at me. There was a time I didn’t think he’d ever forgive me for having a home birth. He told me, “Don’t ever do that again!”
“I guess I’m lucky I’m not retarded or anything.”
“No. You became a beautiful healthy girl. Just perfect.”
“Why did you leave us?”
“It’s hard for me to explain when I see you here and now, but it really was a different time. It was the beginning of the women’s liberation movement and there were so many more opportunities for women than there ever were before. We didn’t want to sit home, cleaning house, having babies, and making dinner for our husbands. All of you young girls take it for granted that you have so many choices. But it was very different in my day. I didn’t want to be held down. I had big ideas about what I wanted to see and do in my life. I felt that having children would hold me back. I was wrong. I know that, especially right now looking at you. I hope you don’t hold it against me.”
“Well, I did hold it against you for most of my life, until just lately.”
“It’s never too late, is it?”
“It feels like that now.”
“Let’s just enjoy every minute together.”
“I do. Are you getting sleepy, Mom?”
“Yeah. I’m sorry. I’m really enjoying being with you, though.”
“Maybe I’ll just sit here for a while with you then and we don’t have to talk.”
“Please. Can you come back tomorrow at around this same time?”
“Yes, I can. I just want to spend as much time with you that I can.”
Christine can sense Clarissa’s disappointment at having to leave.
“I’m sorry dear. I’m so tired. I need to sleep. I’ll see you tomorrow then?”
“Yes mother. I will be here.”
Clarissa kisses her on the forehead and strokes her cheek as her mother closes her eyes and smiles.
Chapter 32
When Clarissa walks into Christine’s hospital room the next morning, she finds a bunch of doctors and nurses hovering over her mother. When they see Clarissa, one of the nurses quickly closes the curtains around the bed and tells Clarissa to wait outside.
After about thirty minutes, one of the nurses comes out and tells Clarissa she can come in. “What was happening in there?” she asks the nurse.
“She was having trouble breathing, so we had to get a lot of fluid out of her lungs.”
“Poor Mom.” Clarissa comes inside the room and is surprised to find her mother is hooked up to even more tubes. She asks her, “Why do you have those tubes coming out of your side?”
“I have edema and it’s making me bloat, so I’m being drained.”
“Sounds like being a victim of a vampire to me.”
Christine laughs, “Well, that’s one way to look at it.”
“How are you doing, Mom?”
“I’m very tired. But I’m so glad to see you today. I want you to tell me more about your life. I’ve talked enough about mine.”
“What do you want to know?”
“Well…you’ve just graduated high school. Did you go to grad night at Disneyland? That’s what the kids did in my time, back in the dark ages.”
“No, I didn’t go to Disneyland. I spent the night with my cousin. She’s a paralegal and has a really cool apartment in downtown San Diego. We started talking about what I wanted to do with my life, and we played with the idea of me becoming a paralegal, too. So, as a project and learning experience to see if I’d like a career in law, I went to the courthouse and got t
he transcript of Dad’s trial and read it.”
“No kidding.”
“Yeah. I really did. Then, my cousin and I thought it would be fun to sit in on a murder trial, so I could get a feel for the terminology and the whole psychology behind how to convince a jury to see your side.”
“Did you like sitting in a courtroom?”
“Mom, I loved it. It was so exciting to be part of all the hustle and bustle of being in the heart of the county government.”
“Oh, honey. I’m so very proud of you.”
“Thanks, Mom.” They are quiet for a long time and Clarissa asks, “Are you in pain?”
“I’m just fine, honey. Don’t worry. I’m just a little sleepy.”
“Can I do anything for you?”
“No. I’m just fine.”
“Nothing at all?”
“Well, there is one thing.”
“What’s that? I’ll do anything.”
“I want you to go see Ivan and tell him it’s time.”
“It’s time for what?”
“Just go see him. He’ll understand.”
“Okay, Mom. Whatever you say. We’ll just sit here together and I’ll let you rest.”
Christine nods her head and falls asleep.
The following night, Christine is put on a ventilator and is unable to speak. Clarissa didn’t stop her visits. She visited her mother, every day, for a week until she slipped into a coma and died peacefully. Clarissa was at her mother’s side up until the very end.
Chapter 33
On the day she loses her mother, Clarissa comes home in tears. She sees her Nana and runs into her arms, crying her eyes out, and never wanting to let go.
Her Nana says, “Okay, honey. It’s time to tell me what the heck has been going on with you lately. Do you have a boyfriend? Did you get your heart broken? I saw an older man drop you off at the house the other day. Honey; he’s way too old for you.”
“Oh, Nana. Is that what you’ve been thinking?”
“Something’s got to explain why you’ve been so moody lately and staying out till all hours.”
“I’m not interested in him that way. Gross. How could you even think I’d be in a romantic relationship with an old guy like him?”
The Tustin Chronicles: A Detective Santy Mystery Page 16
