“‘I can, and will,’ Lucinda spurted out, along with blood and teeth, ‘and will keep on refusing you. Now leave me alone, go away!’”
“‘I’ll go for help.’ Obidaan said, and started toward town. It was going to be a long run and she was running out of time. ‘Leave me!’ she screamed through the blood, bones and teeth.”
“Alone in the field, she felt the life slowing fade from her body. Soon death would be there, and she would welcome it. However, Death did show up, but not the way she expected. In front of her stood two beings, one male and one female; both looking like death, complete with dark robes and sickles.’”
“‘Tis a shame.’ said the male
‘Yes indeed’ said the female
‘Will you take me already,’ said Lucinda
‘We can’t do that quite yet, we have a proposition for you,’ said the male.
‘Yes, but first, let’s make this easier,’ said the female, and at that they lifted her soul out of her body. ‘There, that will make it easier for you to talk and you won’t have to deal with that physical pain clouding your judgment.’
‘You’re Lord and Lady Death?’ Lucinda asked.
‘Not exactly, though we have been mistaken,’ the man answered, ‘you see, Lord and Lady Death are neutral and they do not care who they take. They merely pull souls from bodies then send them on their way. Lord and Lady Death are over there, waiting for us to finish.
‘Then what?’ Lucinda just wanted to have the obvious stated at this point, talking to gods is a bit overwhelming and she need to know where she stood.
‘Well,’ the lady spoke, ‘depending on what happens next, they will take you.’
‘Oh, and what do you want?’
‘Like I said,’ the male spoke again, ‘they are Death. We on the other hand prefer to cause death.
‘So that would make you ...?’
‘War’ the female said, ‘we are Lord and Lady War. Strife, conflict, disagreements, that’s us. When people cannot get a long, they look to us for victory. Make no mistake though we are not the good guys. We do not care who goes to war, just as long as people die. That is our goal.’
‘What do you want from me?’
‘Balance.’ Lord War said.
‘I don’t understand.’
‘A few months ago, the powers of good anointed their paladin. Lord and Lady Seer got that privilege. As a matter of fact, you just tussled with him. So in order to maintain the balance, evil gets to choose their paladin and we got to be the lucky couple.’
‘I could say what’s that got to do with me, but I’m going to assume you’ve chosen me.’
‘Such a bright girl.’ Lady War replied with a smile, ‘See I told you she was sharp.’
‘Well, I don’t want the job. I’d rather die. So if you just let death come, I’ll be on to my final resting place.’
‘And where do you think that will be my dear?’ Lord War spoke, ‘you’ve fought your entire life. Beat up many people, had what an army of bullies, fought over disputed territory, and levied taxes, in the form of extortion. Sound like anything you know?’
‘So you’re saying if I die, I’m stuck with you two anyway, since I’ve been so warlike in life.’
‘She does catch on quick.’ Lady War said, ‘and then to add insult to injury, we would give it to Marcus. Think of all the revenge he would seek on those who betrayed him in favor of you. Think of all those weak people you wanted to protect who would be visited by death with him as a paladin. He would do wonders for us. You on the other hand, see the big picture, know where the real fights are. Know when, what, and who to fight. Marcus is a captain, who would follow our orders; you are a general who would lead in our name. See the difference?’
‘Yes, and fine, I accept.’
‘Excellent!’ They both said.
‘Now let’s get you cleaned up.’ said Lady War. Lucinda was healed and transformed. She was dressed entirely in black now and on her lapel rested the holy symbol, which she is now wearing.” Alister warmed his hands and finished his beer. Another was placed in front of him, just in case.
“So, now Lucinda was a full blown paladin, the Paladin of War, but she had to learn the rules. This is how she found out.
‘So, I can go beat up Obidaan now, smite him like he did me?’
‘Not exactly,’ said Lord War, ‘there are rules you must follow. He didn’t exactly smite you as much as you gave up. As a paladin, you answer only to your gods, not to kings, queens, emperors, or the local law. In some places, you may be the law, dispensing paladin justice. You can’t do it half—cocked and you can’t go doing things simply because you want to. But there are differences between you and Obidaan, rest assured.’
‘The first rule of paladinhood is No paladin may harm another. To help enforce this rule, as a courtesy, you will buy a round for another paladin if you both find yourselves in such establishments.’ Lady War was reading the list. ‘Second, if a paladin gives their word on something, it is binding. Now here is where you and Obidaan differ. Obidaan must keep to the letter and spirit of his word; you need only keep to the letter. So guard your promises carefully. Third, No paladin may server as ruler or other recognized authority. You are above all mortal laws.’” Alister stopped at this point, and stood up. “There’s more, but these are all the relevant points. Thank you and have a pleasant afternoon.”
Alister stood there for a few moments. The crowd was in stunned silence, no one had heard this story before and it was taking a while to sink in. Then a lone applause was heard. It was Lucinda, now standing.
“You truly are an expert on paladins.” She stopped clapping so she could talk, “No one has gotten it right before. I am the Paladin of War, not Death. Everyone gets it wrong and I don’t bother to correct them. You’re the first one to get it right. It seems I underestimated you. Thank you.” She began applauding again. This time the whole place erupted. Alister bowed, holding out his hat, people threw coins onto the stage. After collecting them he made his way back to the group.
“That was an amazing story, Alister.” Mordechi said, “I had no idea. So truly no one chooses their paladinhood, even the evil ones.”
“Especially the evil ones.” Alister quipped, “Unlike those on the side of good, they are usually asked and feel an obligation many on the side of evil are blackmailed into it. Neither wants to do it but feel better them than someone else. Right, Obidaan?”
“Exactly. Still I can’t help feeling somewhat responsible,” Obidaan was on his third ale now.
“OK, let me put this to bed for you,” Alister said and looked him dead in the eye, “she was going to be chosen. All the gods were doing were waiting for the right moment. The only thing you provided was that moment. Had it not been then it was coming; they were just waiting for the appropriate time to make a dramatic entrance.”
Obidaan’s new power indicated Alister was not lying or embellishing like he was on stage. A wave of relief came over Obidaan and he smiled for the first time since he saw Lucinda in the pub. “Thank you, Alister. I appreciate that.”
“About time,” Terry said, “Well looks like they’re going to lighten the mood around here, here comes a band.” The band struck up. “Let’s dance. Mordechi, would you care to dance?”
Mordechi had been enjoying his day, no sense in it ending now. “I’d love to.” They went to the middle of the bar and began dancing. Soon Obidaan and Relina and others couples joined in.
“Hit the dance floor, buddy,” Alister said to Don, “Lots of lovely ladies around.”
“Maybe later.”
“Suit yourself,” Alister hopped out of his chair. There were several ladies he could have chosen but he had one obvious choice in mind. Heading over, he bowed and asked, “Would you care to dance, my lovely?”
“I thought you’d never ask,” Lucinda replied. Taking him by
the hand, she led him to the dance floor. He was the envy and ire of everyone there. Obidaan and Relina just smiled and shook their heads.
They danced the afternoon away. Lucinda and Alister were getting to know each other better. Don finally got on the dance floor. Terry had a waiting list and Obidaan and Relina danced till they got tired.
“Wow, this has been some afternoon. It’s almost dinner time,” Relina said, “Should we stay here or leave?”
“Not sure, let see what the others want. I’m flexible.”
As they waited, a messenger came into the bar, looking around, he spotted Obidaan. He walked over to him and tapped him on the shoulder.
“Yes, may I help you?”
“Obidaan Grailann?”
“Yes.”
“This message is for you, from the king, please read it at your convenience. I am to wait for a reply, however long that is.”
“Well, don’t want to keep you from your family and free time. I’ll read it now.” He took the letter and read over it quickly. “Tell the king this evening and it will be a party of five for dinner.”
“Very good, sir.” The messenger shuffled off back to the palace.
“What was that about?” Relina asked.
“Looks like we’ll be dining with the King. He has a mission for us.”
Mordechi thoroughly enjoyed himself at the bar. For a few hours he forgot about everything. Forgot about the prophecy, the dreams, and all the negative feelings he had been having. He wished the feelings would last and he was going to hold on to them as long as he could.
Obidaan called the group back over to the table, Mordechi was there also, “Looks like we may have a mission people.” Obidaan said matter—of—factly. “No rest for the vigilant, but we will get a good meal out of it,” he said with a laugh.
“What’s up?” Don asked.
“We have a dinner date with the King.”
“Wonderful,” Alister chimed in, “I’ve always wanted to check out the castle, do a command performance. This should really enhance my reputation,” Alister was all starry—eyed as he imagined himself on stage in the castle giving a command performance, people throwing flowers and money, and the queen throwing him her room key. He was quickly brought back to reality as Don thumped him on the back of the head.
“Always about you, eh? Well, if it was for you, how come Obidaan got the invitation?”
Alister was undeterred by reality, “Well he is a paladin, while I am merely a bard,” he made the accompanying hand gestures with much flamboyance. “They had to invite him to get to me. I’m sure I shall be asked to perform.” Everyone laughed.
“Such a swollen head,” Relina interjected, “it’s a wonder it doesn’t burst.”
“So,” a voice came from beyond the table, “you got an invite too, though I have to admit, that’s pretty short notice, considering I got mine weeks ago,” it was Lucinda. “Well, I look forward to seeing you tonight. And I hope that command performance of yours is as good as your history lesson earlier, dear,” she walked up to Alister and planted one on him squarely on the lips. “Tonight,” was all she said, and then departed.
“Why would they invite her too?” Relina asked.
“There are obvious political motives behind our summons. It must deal with some political hot potato.” Obidaan said. “Whenever you summon two paladins, one from each side, it means there are very tricky politics to deal with. One or both of us may get the mission. If it’s just one of us, the other is there as an observer, to see that things were done fairly and to check for hidden agendas. It also means that we will be dealing with some not so nice countries and she is there to give their perspective. How they would react to whatever situation we may face. I doubt our king is going to employ her. Politically, it would be way too risky, especially considering he has a paladin who already resides in his capital city.”
“Who’s got the big ego now?” Alister piped in.
“It’s not about ego, it’s about politics,” Obidaan asserted. “If she resided here, he would use her; otherwise you use the closest one you can find, depending on your ethics and nature of the mission. I’ve never met our king, but by the way he runs things, I believe him to be a righteous man. I believe she is here as an observer. Something very big has happened.”
“Definitely explains Gunther, then. That’s my guess.” Terry said.
“Probably,” Obidaan said, “but I’m not jumping to any conclusions.”
“He must trust you’ll do well,” Mordechi was now putting in his opinion. “Several years ago, when you had just become a paladin, he had need of a paladin for negotiating a treaty he sent out for Takishmore Landseer to handle the negotiations. The primary reason was because you had just come into being a paladin, where Takishmore had over ten years on you. Takishmore is still around but I guess he isn’t needed here. I think congratulations are in order,” he extended his hand to Obidaan. Obidaan quickly grasped it and they exchanged a hardy handshake and hug. Mordechi had had many flashes of prophesy when dealing with people, so he did not flinch when a vision of a barren wasteland, with Obidaan standing before it, smiling almost laughing, flashed through his mind. He continued his smile. Obidaan did not notice it but Relina did.
She walked over to him as the other were breaking up, paying up, and getting ready to leave, “Is everything ok?”
“Fine my dear, just fine.” Mordechi was fumbling with his change purse.
“You’re a bad liar,” she said curtly.
“Indeed,” he pulled her off to the side, “I worry about Obidaan. Let’s just say I’ve had some visions and I am concerned.”
Relina was set aback. “Is…is he going to be ok? Does it have to do with the coming darkness?”
Mordechi smiled a reassuring smile. “He’ll be fine. I’m worried about some actions, well into the future.” He could almost feel the carnation loose its warmth but he ignored it.
“Your lying hasn’t improved in the past minute.” Relina injected.
Moredechi shook his head, “Come to me after your mission. We’ll discuss things.” At that, he kissed Relina on the forehead, dropped some coins on the table and faced the others. “Thank you very much for inviting me. I can’t remember the last time I had so much fun. Good luck with the king, I shall pray for you all.” Collective goodbyes were exchanged and Mordechi left, heading back to the church, his home.
Obidaan walked over to Relina, he noticed the exchange between Mordechi and her, “Is everything ok?”
“Church business,” she replied nonchalantly.
“Ah, ok.” Though her answer was vague, it was still the truth so Obidaan did not sense any deception, though it was clearly there.
As they left the inn, Obidaan looked over at Don and asked, “So what is the proper etiquette for visiting a king?”
“Donder? You’re asking him? Why not me?” Alister piped in.
“Because, unlike you, Don has actually met kings. Besides, his order teaches etiquette to its members. If anyone knows the proper way to greet a king, it’s him. Have you greeted one?”
“No, but I know several stories of people who have.”
“Sorry, you’re not getting to answer this one,” Terry said, “You’ll just have to deal with being part of the background.”
Alister didn’t say anything after that.
“Technically, you don’t have to do anything,” Don began to explain, “it’s the other way around. The king will have to greet you. Being a paladin, you are above all politics. As a result, kings, queens, and emperors have to show you respect. Either way, I would still dress in my finest clothes, be polite, and courteous. One thing though, during dinner, don’t eat until the king starts. For you it won’t be a faux pas, but it is a sign of respect. I would suspect that Lucinda will ignore most of the rules. She knows she is there at her convenience not his.”
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“Thank you. Well, I guess we should all go home and get ready. Meet at our place at 7:30.”
“Just think,” Alister started, “this could be your crowning achievement”
“Yeah,” Terry entered the fray, “unless of course your get ‘throne’ out for bad etiquette.”
“Don’t worry,” Don said, “I have my book of etiquette at home, and I’ll bring it. It’s a fine couth tome.”
“As long as Obidaan doesn’t eye the queen. He can look at any one ‘cept her.” Relina interjected.
“Ow, just stop it.” Obidaan said, “All this is giving me a royal headache.”
Massive groans were now filling the air, along with giggles.
As everyone waited, a coach with the royal crest showed up.
“Well met! I am here to drive you to the castle, please hop aboard and make yourselves comfortable.”
“Thank you, good sir..” Obidaan replied as he opened the door. Everyone filed in and they were off.
“This must be important,” Alister said, “oh, and don’t worry about them hearing us, royal coaches are sound proofed, that way important business can be discussed without fear of eaves dropping.”
Taking his bait, Terry answered in a sing—songy sarcastic manner. “What makes you say that, O wise one?”
“Because,” Alister was unphased, “we are being escorted by the Captain—of—the—Guard. It would seem to me one in such a position would have better things to do than escort duty. Usually it’s the Lieutenant, or even more common the Sergeant for dignitaries, depending on importance. Even other kings don’t get the Captain, unless a high affair is concerned.”
Obidaan was curious, “How could you tell?”
“Two things,” Alister loved imparting knowledge or more appropriately, showing off, “first, the hand crossbow indicates he is an officer. Second, the design of his sword hilt shows he is the Captain—of—the—Guard.”
“Nice observation,” Obidaan said.
They passed in silence for a few minutes, when Relina broke the silence.
No Good Deed Page 6
