Tuck looked up and down the corridor and saw not one single person. With his jaw clenched, he moved quickly and pushed Nicole through the open door of her room. Before she could do more than gasp, he had turned her around, shut the door and shoved her up against it, pressing her into it with the weight of his own body.
His eyes glittered dangerously. His hands held hers above her head. His chest all but flattened her breasts. “Are we going to resort to name-calling now?”
“Why are you doing this? I have to go,” she said with a frantic edge to her voice. “You know I have to go.” There was a hotel car waiting to take her to Jackpot’s airstrip.
But the panic she felt wasn’t because of that waiting car. She could deny her feelings for this man till doomsday, but all Tuck had to do to make her want him was something like this, touch her, push himself against her, hold his head so that his mouth was but a fraction from hers. He hadn’t manhandled her like this before, and God knew she didn’t approve of caveman tactics, but his hard body pressing into hers was exciting and unmercifully arousing.
He moved his hips, hunching them forward. “See what you do to me?” he whispered thickly.
She couldn’t see what she did to him, not in their present positions, but she could certainly feel it. If he kissed her she’d forget about that plane, she thought weakly, and she didn’t want to spend another long day in the car with him.
She took a breath and forced herself to speak without emotion or even a hint of friendliness. “Take your hands off of me this minute. I’ve had it with you, Tuck. I want no more of you. Is that plain enough?”
He stiffened. “Do you really mean that?”
“I mean it with every fiber of my being.”
The pain that ricocheted throughout his system wasn’t a pleasant sensation, but pride kept his chin up.
Releasing her, he stepped back. Nicole ducked around him and went for her suitcase, which was all set to go. She picked it up. Her pulse was running wild with soft, female emotions, but she managed to lay a hard and fierce look on Tuck.
“Do I have to fight you to get out of here?” she asked.
“No.” He opened the door for her. “See you in Vegas,” he said grimly.
She brushed past him. “Don’t count on it.”
It didn’t surprise Nicole to see detectives John Harper and Scott Paulsen waiting for her when she deplaned in Las Vegas.
After a cursory greeting, John said, “We’re going to escort you to the prosecutor’s office. He’s anxious to talk to you.”
She sighed to herself, thinking, And so it begins.
Dr. Laura Keaton greeted Tuck with a handshake and an invitation to sit down.
They both sat, in the very same chairs they had used in every one of Tuck’s previous sessions with the psychologist.
Laura smiled. “How have you been?”
Tuck didn’t smile. “Not very damned good.”
“Tell me about it.”
Thirty minutes later she knew it all, everything that had occurred since their last meeting, down to the smallest detail. Laura had listened with very few comments, thinking all the while that this was a different man than she had counseled before.
When Tuck had wound down, she asked quietly, “What do you want me to say, Tuck? What do you want to hear?”
He laughed, sharply, bitterly. “Maybe that I’m not crazy.”
“That’s an easy one. You’re not crazy. Does hearing me say that make you feel any better?”
“No.” He’d been looking at his boots. His eyes lifted. “What am I afraid of, Doc?”
“Not of police work, obviously. From what you’ve told me, you handled things very well in Coeur d’Alene.”
“Except for not shooting that piece of slime when I had him in the sights of my gun.”
“You were thinking of Nicole. Protecting her was your primary goal, which you accomplished. You should be feeling very proud of yourself, not questioning your reactions.”
“What if it happens again? What if I’m in a situation where I should use my gun and I can’t do it?”
“My professional opinion is that you will use it if a situation calls for gunfire. Tuck, you did the right thing in Coeur d’Alene. How can you doubt it, when you saved Miss Currie’s life at great risk to your own?”
Laura’s expression softened. “Let’s talk a little more about Nicole. That’s where your fear really lies, Tuck.”
He drew in a slow, discomfited breath. “Yeah, I know.”
“Don’t be afraid of love, Tuck. Thank your lucky stars that you met a woman you can love. And don’t look for guarantees. There are none, not in any human relationship. We all have so many flaws that it’s a wonder men and women ever get together. Or stay together. But they do, Tuck, they do. What you have to ask yourself, and only you can answer, is if you love this woman enough to try and work through the adjustments that are absolutely necessary for any couple to make it.”
Laura paused. “Does she love you?”
“I…don’t know.”
Glancing at her watch, Laura got to her feet. “Then that’s your first order of business, isn’t it? Finding out how Nicole feels about you? I’m sorry, but I have another appointment, Tuck. Will you come back and talk to me again, say in about a week?”
Tuck nodded. “I’ll make an appointment on my way out. Thanks, Doc.”
She smiled. “Good luck, Officer Hannigan.”
Nicole went back to work and was welcomed with bright smiles from her assistants, and a meeting with two of the vice presidents of the Monte Carlo. They assured her that however long the trial of Nick Lowicki might take, her job was secure.
In turn, she passed on her own assurances. “The prosecutor told me that my testimony shouldn’t take more than a couple of days. Maybe not even that long. It depends on the defense attorney’s cross-examination.”
After work, for several days, she went shopping. She’d left most of her business suits hanging in her closet while packing for her forced trip, thank goodness, but she was pitifully short of blouses and underwear. Four suitcases had been stuffed full, after all, and other than the few pairs of jeans and tops she’d returned home with, all of her casual clothing—shorts, slacks, T-shirts, jackets and shoes—had been destroyed in the fire. There’d been lots of lingerie lost, as well, lovely things, lovely expensive things. Some dresses, both informal and dressy, including accessories, were on her list for reimbursement, though she’d gone light in that department, thinking, correctly, while doing her initial packing, that there probably wouldn’t be very many occasions to dress up.
But the list she’d given Detective Harper had been very long, filling several sheets of paper. There’d been costume jewelry on it, some of it quite costly, and several purses and scarves, a lot of little things that she wondered now why on earth she’d taken with her. As distraught as she’d been at the time, however, it was a small miracle that she hadn’t taken every piece of clothing she’d owned.
She was determined to forget Tuck and during working hours managed fairly well to stick with that attitude. But the evenings played dirty tricks with her mind. Shopping herself into exhaustion didn’t help all that much, because once the stores closed for the day, she had to go home. Of course, she was completely aware of the unmarked police car parked out front every night, but whatever officers were on duty never came to the house. They were unknown entities, cops without faces to her, and as long as one of them wasn’t Tuck, she was able to ignore their presence, though she felt their diligence wasn’t necessary. Lowicki was locked up and Gil Spencer was dead. According to the prosecutor, their organization was not only in shambles, Lowicki’s cohorts wanted nothing to do with a murder charge and were singing like canaries.
Of course, that progression of thoughts never failed to remind her of Tuck’s caustic question. How would you know what is or isn’t necessary? Then she would remember his body pressing hers against the door of her room, and another scar would appear on
her already badly damaged heart.
She contacted all of her friends and called her mother. Her life was getting back to normal, even if she wasn’t. The truth was that she would never again be the same trusting, somewhat naive woman she’d once been. Too much had changed, not only because of the witness protection program but because of Tuck.
The night was a hundred degrees and moonless, dark as a well. Tuck’s palms were sweating, his mouth was dry and his heart was pounding. It didn’t matter; this was something he had to do.
Spotting the unmarked police car as he stopped his own car at the curb, he switched off his headlights, got out and walked over to the officers to identify himself.
The vehicle’s windows were all open, though there was no breeze to catch. Even if there had been, they would have been hot. “Hey, Hannigan. How’s it going?”
“Doubletree and—” Tuck peered into the vehicle “—Parsons. Having fun out here, boys?”
“Yeah, right. Stakeout’s your favorite duty, too, isn’t it?” Doubletree said sarcastically. “What’re you doing here, Hannigan?”
“Paying Miss Currie a visit.”
The two men in the car snickered. “Official business, of course.”
“What else?” Tuck said smoothly. Although he still hadn’t returned to work and thus had had little contact with his co-workers, it was obvious from Doubtletree’s and Parson’s snicker that word had gotten around about him being the cop who’d taken Nicole to Idaho for witness protection.
Tuck straightened and slapped the top of the car. “Try to stay cool, boys. See you later.” He started to walk away.
“Hey, Tuck. Ask the lady if she’s got a couple of cold sodas for two thirsty cops.”
“I’ll ask.” Tuck started up Nicole’s front walk, noting the lighted windows in her house and the exterior lamp lighting the small court only steps from the door. His heart started hammering again. She might slam the door in his face. She might tell him to get the hell out of her sight. An urge to forget the whole thing, to just turn around and return to his car, was tough to combat.
He forced himself to continue to her door and to ring the doorbell.
Nicole was in her bedroom. She’d gone shopping again after work and there were parcels of clothing still to be hung in her closet. But she’d been hot and tired when she’d gotten home, and had decided to take a shower before putting away her new things.
She was wearing a cool, cotton robe, knee-length, and just starting on the packages when the doorbell rang. Frowning, she glanced at the clock on the bedstand. It wasn’t that late, not quite ten, but her friends didn’t drop in unannounced at this hour. The cops in the unmarked car had never come near the house before, but it could be one of them, she thought, laying down the package and leaving her bedroom.
At the front door she peered through the tiny peephole. Her heart nearly stopped when she saw Tuck’s face. Breathless and slightly panicky, she backed away from the door. Why was he here? What did he want from her now?
The doorbell pealed again. Gathering her wits about her and tightening the sash of her robe, she composed her features and opened the door.
“Hello,” he said quietly, belying the nervousness running rampant in his system.
She nodded. “Hello.”
“May I come in?”
“Uh…” She honestly didn’t know what to do. If she let him in, what then? But if she said no, wouldn’t she forever wonder why he had come?
Stepping back, she held the door open in invitation. “Come in.”
“Thanks.” Relief of enormous magnitude diminished some of Tuck’s tension.
She brought him to the living room. “Sit down, if you’d like.”
They both sat. Nicole couldn’t believe how fit he looked. He was wearing jeans and a white T-shirt, and he was so handsome he took her breath. His skin was deeply tanned and he actually looked relaxed.
In fact, his insides were so tight, he wondered if they would ever unwind.
“What’ve you been doing, lying in the sun?” she asked, a little coolly, a little disdainfully.
“I’ve been in the sun,” he admitted. “What I did was rent a houseboat out at the lake. I needed to do some thinking.” When she made no response, he added, “About us.”
“Us?” Her left eyebrow shot up. But deep inside of her a thrill had come to life. She’d told herself a hundred times that falling for Tuck Hannigan and then letting him know about it was the most stupid thing she had ever done. Except for making love with him, that is. All of her self-help recriminations meant beans, apparently, when all he had to do was show up looking like a dream and mention that he’d been thinking of “us” for her insides to turn to jelly.
“I didn’t know there was an ‘us,’” she said with some haughtiness, an effort to protect herself from further involvement with a man who didn’t know the meaning of the word.
“I think there is. What do you think?” Her pink-andwhite robe was interesting. She looked fresh from a shower, with no makeup on her face and her hair damp. He’d be willing to bet that robe was all there was. No underwear, no nightie. Very interesting. And exciting. He took a calming breath.
Her eyes narrowed slightly. She didn’t trust him, but worse, she didn’t trust herself. “What brought this on?”
“I just told you. I’ve been thinking about us.” He leaned forward, laying his forearms on his thighs. “Nicole, I love you.”
She nearly fainted. “You what?”
He got up to pace back and forth in front of her, which she didn’t need. Already her nerves were in shambles, and watching his long, lean body in movement was giving her hot flashes.
He seemed agitated. “I know this is a shock for you, but it’s a shock for me, too. I’ve been going in circles since…” He stopped to frown. “Damn, those circles started the night we met.” He began pacing again. “But a person can’t be afraid of love. I finally got that through my thick skull.”
“You…were…afraid of…love?” she whispered, too weak and shaken to even speak normally. He loved her? Was it possible?
He suddenly knelt in front of her. There was a piercing, almost feverish glitter in his eyes. “We don’t choose who we fall in love with. We don’t choose to fall in love. It’s something that happens without consent or intent.”
She was nearly speechless, mesmerized by his eyes and what he was saying. “Tuck…” It had a helpless sound.
“You said you were crazy about me. Do you remember?” Her head bobbed once. “Nicole, I have to ask. Do you love me?”
She swallowed. “If I said yes, what…what would you do?”
“Propose.”
“But you said marriages in the department don’t usually work out.”
“I said a lot of fool things. Nicole, I’ve gone around and around on this. Whoever said everyone falls in love with the perfect person? Maybelove hurts anyone dumb enough to… to do it. It does hurt, I know. It’s made me suffer and question my own sanity.
“Maybe we’d argue. Hell, I know we wouldn’t agree on every little thing. Maybe you’d worry about me, and maybe I’d worry about you. But, honey, I have this great big hole right here…” He placed his hand on his chest. “And you’re the only thing in the whole damned world that can fill it.”
She was sitting so still, as though frozen in place, and staring at him.
“You’re really shook, aren’t you?” he asked softly.
“Yes,” she whispered.
“Maybe there’s something we can do about that.” His hands crept up her robe to clasp her waist, and he leaned forward to press his lips to hers. It was a gentle, tender kiss that melted the last remnants of ice in her system. “Tell me you love me,” he whispered.
She sucked in a long breath. “I…love you.”
“Oh, baby,” he groaned, and began undoing the sash of her robe. Pushing aside its panels, he buried his face in her bare breasts.
She held his head and felt tears stinging her eyes and
nose. They dripped down her cheeks and onto his hair. She laughed, shakily. “I’m getting your hair wet.”
He raised his head to see her teary eyes. “Why are you crying?”
“Because I’m so happy.”
A smile broke out on his face. “Me, too.” Getting to his feet, he pulled her from the chair and lifted her off the floor and up into his arms. Then he remembered something. “Have you got a couple of cold sodas in your refrigerator?”
“What?”
He laughed. “I promised the cops outside I’d bring them some sodas, if you had any.”
“There’s a variety in the refrigerator. Help yourself.”
He set her on her feet. “Don’t go away.”
While he raced to the kitchen and then outside, Nicole went to her bedroom. She tossed the robe and got into bed. She was in love with a cop and things wouldn’t always be as rosy as they felt right now.
But she had never been happier and would take the bad with the good. She smiled and listened for Tuck’s return.
Epilogue
“And so I told her everything I’d been feeling and going through,” Tuck said. “Including my sessions with you.”
Laura Keaton nodded. “Wise decision, Tuck.”
Tuck grinned. “Can I put your name on our guest list? The wedding’s set for September 8.”
“By all means.” He was in uniform. “I see you’ve gone back to work.”
“Started on Monday.”
“And how is it out there?”
“Same old, same old, Doc. Nothing changes on the street. Lock up one drug pusher and two more spring up.”
“Tell me this, Tuck. How is Nicole dealing with having to testify at Lowicki’s trial? Incidentally, when does it start?”
“It starts in another week, and she’s dealing with it like a little trooper. She’s some special woman, Laura.”
Laura smiled. “Maybe the love between you makes her special. And vice versa.”
“I’m not special, Doc.”
“No?” Laura laughed softly. “I’ll bet if you said that to Nicole you’d get an argument.”
He thought about the passion and love between him and Nicole, then nodded. “Yeah, you’re right. I’d get a hell of an argument.”
Assignment: Marriage Page 17
