Once my bedroom door was firmly closed behind me, I fervently whispered “Jimmy! Are you here?”
I walked around the room, hoping to connect with a cold spot of air, but felt nothing.
“Jimmy!” I tried once again. “I need your help!”
Soft, faint whispers reached my ear and I strained to listen.
“... form of… there the whole time… stay away… Parker…”
“Jimmy is that you?”
“...energy… dangerous… stay away…”
“Stay away from what? From you? From Parker?”
Silence.
I sat at the desk and switched on the computer, sighing loudly. I had no idea how I'd lost two hours of my life, but I figured the internet was a place to start my search for answers. An hour later I came away with a list of what could have sparked my time loss, from dissociative amnesia, to depression, and even low blood sugar.
None of those answers seemed right to me, but I didn't know what else to search for. Then, suddenly, my phone buzzed with another text.
Odie: Woman, where are you? Did your phone get shut off already?
I sighed, and smiled. My reply was quick and totally honest.
Me: No clue where I've been. Lost two hours after school today. Can't remember anything.
Next thing I knew, she was calling, demanding to know what I was talking about.
“Odie, seriously I have no idea what happened. I was walking home, then that Parker guy was there asking if I wanted a ride. And…”
“And what?!” She demanded. “Tell me! What did he do?”
“That's just it, I don't know. I remember him asking me if I was lost, and I looked around, and realized I was, and then I guess he... brought me home.”
“Roz, listen to me. That guy is weird. Not just weird, but, not-right weird. There's something very off about him. I know he seems harmless and he's really nice to look at, but he's, well, he's dangerous. Seriously, stay away from him.”
Jimmy’s whispering, faint words floated back to me: Stay away.
“It's going to be hard to avoid him when I have classes with the guy.”
“Yeah, but try. Anyway, in school he won't do anything, but don't ever be alone with him.”
“It's a little late for that,” I said in calm exasperation. “I'm missing two hours from my day, Odie. You don't think he slipped me drugs or something, do you?”
“Drugs?” She asked worriedly. “I have no idea. How do you feel, physically?”
I shrugged. “I feel alright. I was a little dizzy and nauseous earlier-”
“Oh my gawd I bet he did give you drugs!”
I shook my head, trying to identify the way I'd felt when I came out of my stupor. “My mother was a junkie. I grew up with it. This really didn't have that kind of… feel… to it, if that makes sense.”
Suddenly a knock sounded at my door. It was Bonnie, asking if I wanted to help make dinner, so I cut my conversation short.
“Hey, I've got to go, but I'll text you again later. Yes?”
I could hear a smile in her voice when Odie replied, “Yes. And don't worry, we'll get to the bottom of this.”
***
Making dinner with Bonnie helped me to relax, and her endless chatter provided the distraction I needed. She told me about her day, and I briefly described mine (leaving out my missing two hours, of course). Chopping vegetables beside her at the countertop brought a sense of tranquility to my troubled soul.
We all sat together at the table as a family, eating dinner and making conversation. Amelia would watch the rest of us, smiling silently from time to time, and giving a nod or shaking her head when asked “yes” or “no” questions. I found myself wondering what went through her mind, since she never spoke.
There was a wisdom and sorrow behind her eyes which made her seem much more mature than her age, and I imagined she had been through something pretty terrible in her young life to have caused her dedicated silence.
Vincent, on the other hand, was the opposite. He said things without thinking, laughed when appropriate (or not appropriate), and kept the grown-ups (and me), on our toes.
“So you got a boyfriend yet?” He asked me.
I smirked and shook my head. “Where would I find a boyfriend?”
“You started school today,” he replied with a shrug, as if that explained it.
“Yeah, I started just today, I don't even know anyone yet.”
“But you said you already made a friend, right?”
I nodded.
“Well, if you can make a friend in one day, you can find a boyfriend.”
“Your logic is astounding,” I said dryly.
Mitch laughed and joined in. “Vincent is a guy, he knows what's up!”
I looked at him stupidly and said, “I have no idea what that means.”
Mitch took a bite of his asparagus and winked at the boy. “It means he's young, but not blind. It would only make sense for the boys to line up, wanting to ask you out.”
I glanced at Bonnie, who was nodding vigorously. “I'm sure once you settle in, they'll be asking for your number.”
Even little Amelia nodded with a grin.
I sighed. “Uh, thanks everyone, but not interested in boys. I need to work on me first.”
“Oh! That reminds me!” Bonnie exclaimed. “I scheduled a therapy session for you next Thursday after school.”
My heart plummeted at her words, but I knew there was no avoiding psychiatric help. I knew I needed it, but oh how I loathed the idea of opening up to a stranger.
I nodded and offered a quiet, “Thank you.”
“Hey, Roz?” Mitch asked, changing the subject. “Have you ever been to a circus?”
I swallowed my bite of roasted chicken and shook my head. “No, Jill never did stuff like that with me.”
“Who's Jill?” Vincent asked.
“My mother.”
“Wow, you get to call your mom by her first name? That's cool!”
I shook my head at him. “I don’t get to call her anything, because she’s dead. I started using her first name years ago, when she stopped being a mother.”
An awkward silence fell over the table. I lowered my head, slightly embarrassed, and gave great attention to the plate in front of me.
Mitch cleared his throat. “Well, it just so happens the circus will be in town this weekend, and I have tickets!”
Bonnie and Vincent both made loud exclamations of excitement, while Amelia and I stared at them quietly. I turned my head and looked at her. Although she gave nothing away, her eyes were shining.
“Will this be your first time at a circus, too?” I asked her.
She shook her head, no. And then gave me the sweetest grin and reached for my hand.
I smiled back at her, and gave a soft squeeze. I did not understand this bond which was forming between us, but I was thankful for every moment it bloomed.
***
That night, after completing my homework, texting Odie, and changing into my pajama bottoms and tank, I lay in bed staring up at the ceiling. My mind couldn't stop worrying over the time I'd lost that day. More importantly, I couldn't let go of the idea that Parker was somehow behind it. And yet, even though my body was soon encased in a cooling sensation (which I assumed was Jimmy taking his place beside me in the bed), and as my eyes grew heavy and my mind drifted to other things, I kept coming back to Parker and the one question I remembered from the afternoon:
Are you lost, Rosalind?
CHAPTER 13
I was sweating, burning up with a fever that seemed to scorch me from the inside out. Heavy, swirling clouds of fog and mist slithered around me as I walked down a deserted street. Lit street lamps began turning off one by one, causing a domino effect of darkness to surround me.
I tried to wipe the moisture from my brow and upper lip, but more was there to replace it. I looked down at my clothes and saw I was wearing a tiny pair of shorts and a bra, nothing else, and panic consumed me
.
Why was I basically naked in the street? In the middle of the night? And sweating like a sinner in church?
As soon as the questions crossed my mind, I knew the answer.
It was a dream.
My heart rate calmed and I took deep breaths. Another stupid dream.
Okay, my conscious self thought. It’s just a dream. I can handle this.
Not knowing what else to do, I kept walking forward in complete blackness, until suddenly, through the fog, I came upon a brightly lit ferris wheel surrounded by red and white striped circus tents.
Oh my goodness, I'm dreaming of going to the circus in only a bra. How embarrassing!
The sounds of circus music reached me, but it was distorted and sounded like a warped vinyl album being played on an old record player. The circus tents and surrounding area were deserted, except for a man dressed as a clown in front of a tent with a neon sign that read, “Hall of Mirrors.” I approached him cautiously, eyeballing him the same way he eyeballed me, and there was something familiar about him.
“Are you lost, Rosalind?” He asked.
That voice, I knew it. It was Parker. Except, it wasn't Parker. It was Mister Creepy Clown Parker. He was dressed in a colorful clown suit with a green polka-dotted bowtie. His skin was painted white, and his hair was a bright green mohawk which showed purple veins bulging out from the sides of his shaved skull. His eye color had changed from blue to white, and the lids were covered in dark purple smudges. A bloody grin was painted around his lips, and when he spoke, sharpened teeth poked out. They looked like needles.
He grinned at me.
“Parker?” I asked. “Why can't I remember what I did with you today?”
He threw his head back and laughed wickedly, the sounds causing terror to rush at me until I couldn't catch my breath. Suddenly, he stopped and stared deep into my core, raising a single eyebrow.
“Are you lost, Rosalind?” He asked again, and swept his arm out to the side. “The Hall of Mirrors will show you the way.”
The corners of his mouth tilted up ever so slowly, forming a cartoonish grin, as a substance that looked a whole lot like blood oozed out from behind his needle-teeth.
My body began to shake and I said, “No,” but unknown hands came from behind and started pushing me forward, into the entrance of the tent.
“No!” I cried out, trying to stop their momentum, but they couldn't, wouldn't, be stopped, until I was placed firmly inside the blackened hall. A door shut behind me and I heard the click of a lock, and then suddenly hundreds of candles lit up, hanging from chandeliers above my head.
I was inside a maze built of mirrors. Mirrored walls, mirrored floors, the only thing not mirrored was the open ceiling, which looked like packed dirt with roots and vines throughout with chandeliers suspended from it. A hundred reflections of terrified me stared back, as I contemplated my next move.
And as I stood there, reassuring myself this was only a dream and I could wake up anytime I wanted to, it happened. He appeared.
Derek.
He stood behind me suddenly, his giant hands coming around my throat like pythons as his tongue licked the side of my face.
“You killed me, you skank,” he muttered in my ear as his eyes watched our reflections.
I tried to shake my head and say no, I didn't, it wasn't me, but his hands were too strong to allow me even the slightest movement.
“You know you're going to pay for that, right?” He asked.
I squeezed my eyes tight and whispered, “It's just a dream, it's just a dream,” while he laughed.
“I like this bra. I want you to wear it again, the next time we play,” he laughed as he left one hand on my throat and the other played with my strap.
Suddenly a burst of cold air hit me with the force of a hurricane and knocked us both down.
“Run, Roz!”
Jimmy.
I scrambled to my feet and ran, not knowing where the exit was but wishing with everything in me that I would just wake up from this terror already.
I ran to my left, using my hands to feel the glass walls to make sure I wouldn't hit one. This was insanity at its all-time high, as everywhere I looked I was constantly facing my reflection. Some images of me were distorted and slightly off, while others looked exactly like me.
I followed through the maze which seemed to have no beginning and no end, and yet still could not find a way out.
“Jimmy!” I shouted as I began to fear I wouldn't awaken from this hell.
“He's not here,” a voice said wickedly and immediately I turned to face Parker, the clown.
His teeth seemed even more sharp as he leered at me, his eyes roaming up and down my length. I froze.
“Why are you doing this, Parker?” I asked, and to my utter dismay and humiliation, felt hot tears burn the backs of my eyes.
He took a step forward and suddenly his reflection was multiplied twenty times around me. I had no idea which was the real one, but with every step forward I took a step back.
“I've laid claim to you, Rosalind,” he said, “Your mind is amazing. Only someone who has endured years of pain like you, could be so open to torment. You're exactly what I need.”
With each word, he stepped closer and closer, and I inched farther away.
“You don't know it yet, Rosalind,” he said, his words dripping with a sinister sound, “But you are mine.”
I took one more step back and bumped into someone. Strong arms covered in clown attire wrapped themselves around me and, in absolute horror, I watched as his reflection swallowed my own.
“Roz! Baby, please wake up now!”
I sat straight up in bed, shivering and burning at the same time. I was in my new room, in my new home, and Jimmy was anxiously kneeling beside me. His face was covered in fright and panic.
“Oh thank Christ!” He exclaimed and hugged me. “You wouldn't wake up! I've tried for ten minutes and you wouldn't wake up!”
I stared at him, feeling wetness on my cheeks and something soft within my hand. I looked down.
It was a green polka-dot bowtie.
My eyes full of fear, I raised my shaking hand, showing it to Jimmy silently. He eyes widened in recognition as he looked at the bowtie.
“I was there with you in your dream,” he whispered. “I couldn't find you in the mirrors. I tried, Roz. Lord knows I tried.”
He took the bowtie from my hand and chucked it into the wastebasket.
“That settles it,” he said firmly. “From now on, every night, you're going to take those meds.”
***
“What happened to you last night?” Odie asked the next morning at school, sipping from a donut shop coffee cup and looking amazing in a funky green sweater dress with knee highs and her Doc Martens. “You look like major crap.”
I shook my head slightly and retrieved a notebook from my locker before closing it.
“Bad dream.” I replied as simply as possible, hoping to dismiss any further questions.
She asked for no explanation. “You need coffee, pronto,” she said, and offered me her cup.
Gratefully, I sipped from it, sighing from the depths of my soul.
“Keep it, you need it more than I do,” she offered, and began to step away. “See you in art, yeah?”
I nodded and smiled tiredly. “Yeah.”
I walked down the hall toward first period, keeping my head down. I had no desire to make eye contact with anyone or face any questioning stares from curious students wanting to know all about “the new girl.” I felt off, wrong in some way, but it was nothing I could put my finger on. The dream from the night before left me feeling dazed, confused, and completely out of my element. All I wanted to do was go back to bed and sleep in Jimmy’s cold embrace.
I could already tell this was going to be a long day, and was trying to worm through the busy hallway when a hand reached out and gripped my shoulder.
Startled, I jumped and ended up dumping Odie’s coffee down th
e front of my flannel.
Holy crap.
I looked down and grimaced, trying to swipe the hot, creamy coffee from my chest.
“Roz I'm so sorry!”
I looked up into Parker’s concerned face.
I immediately reacted. Badly.
“Oh no you don't, you crazy clown!” I shouted, backing away from him as students stood around us, watching, whispering, giggling.
A look of confusion passed over his face.
“Well, I've been called worse than a clown,” he said and chuckled. “I guess I deserved that for making you spill your coffee.”
“Just stay away from me, okay?” I demanded as the memory of that awful dream came back and slapped me in the face.
“Hey, what's wrong?” He asked, inching closer to me as I tried to weave myself from the throng of teenagers. His concern seemed genuine and I second-guessed my initial reaction to him. “I thought we became friends yesterday, Roz. Have I done something to upset you?”
I looked up into his gorgeous turquoise eyes, hating the way that I noticed how the heavy black lashes lined them. I felt my hardened resolve slowly disintegrate.
“No, sorry,” I said softly, chagrined at my outburst. I was trapped beneath his stare and wanted to escape. “I just need to go class.”
“Okay, sure. Well, find me after school so I can give you another ride home.” He said with a smile. “You agreed to let me be your chauffeur, remember?”
I did?
A sense of foreboding filled my being and I shook my head. There was no way I'd accept another ride home from him until I figured out where my missing two hours went.
Stubbornly, I raised my chin an inch and said, “Actually no, I don't remember. I don't remember two hours of my day yesterday. All I remember is you picking me up and dropping me off. So no, Parker, I'm not going to take you up on that.”
I turned and walked away, hearing him shout, “Roz!”
“Thanks but no thanks,” I muttered angrily, leaving him behind to watch my retreating form in confusion.
CHAPTER 14
Rest in Peace Roz: The R.I.P. Series Book 1 Page 8
