The two little ones looked like they might pee their pants in excitement.
“I wanna see the elephants! And play the carnival games!” Vincent exclaimed loudly as we walked in a single line out the front door.
Bonnie went immediately to the garage door and raised it up. I hadn't bothered to look in there before, so I had no idea what I was in store for.
“Oh… my… gosh….” I said slowly.
The rest of us stood in the front yard as Bonnie got into a vehicle, started it with a loud pop, and backed it out of the driveway.
“Are you kidding me?” I asked no one in particular.
The vehicle was an ancient Volkswagen bus, painted a bright lime green, and covered with giant flowers and peace signs of every color.
“Are we going to Woodstock?” I asked jokingly.
Bonnie jumped out of the bus and laughed. “Don't be such a stick in the mud, Roz! This is The Walters’ Wacky Wagon! Just wait til you have your first ride in her! She's so fun!”
Bonnie was bursting with pride and I had to laugh. It did look like a fun ride, even if it was super hippie.
“Alright then,” I declared, “Take me for a spin in your groovy van!”
With that, we all piled in amidst a ton of laughs and enjoyment. I sat in the very back by myself, while Vincent and Amelia took the middle seat and Mitch and Bonnie sat up front. I had to admit, for as old as this thing was, the interior was nice. The seats were upholstered in a buttery yellow fabric and the floor had green shag carpeting, which sounds like it should've looked terrible but really, it just added to the ambiance of the hippie-mobile.
Bonnie drove and turned on the radio, which featured an 8-track tape deck playing The Beatles.
Of course. What other kind of stereo system would you expect in a 1960s VW bus?
I grinned as we buckled in and headed down the road. Listening to the grown-ups sing along to songs like Help!, I pulled my phone out and texted Odie.
Me: On our way to the circus!
She texted back immediately.
Odie: OMG that circus is wack. Went last year. Lame.
Me: Don't tell me that! I've never been to a circus before.
Odie: OK, then I change my opinion. It's amazing. You'll have a blast. *yawn*
I laughed at her silliness.
Me: It'd be more fun if you came with!
Odie: Word! Already told you I can't, my Bubbie is in town. Gotta sit for the next 3 hrs listening to stories of her youth and letting her pinch my cheeks.
Me: Didn't you say she always gives you money, tho?
Odie: That’s why it’s worth it!
Me: Have fun with your grandma!
Odie: Text me when you get home!
I put my phone away, leaned back in the seat, and smiled. Vincent chatted happily to himself while he watched our town passing by through the window. Amelia played silently with a stuffed animal, hugging it and bobbing her head along to the music. Mitch and Bonnie sang loudly, ridiculously, to the 60s music that played and laughed at themselves while doing it.
For the first time in my whole life, I felt like a perfectly normal teenager.
Unbeknownst to me, the feeling would be short-lived.
CHAPTER 16
We drove down a dirt road which was lined with signs proclaiming, “Uncle Underwood’s Traveling Circus, straight ahead!” I felt no trepidation, despite the fact that I'd dreamt of an insane circus clown and a terrifying hall of mirrors earlier in the week. In fact, from what I could see of it in the backseat of the VW, the whole place looked like a lot of fun.
Red and white tents (similar to what was in my dream, but without the Stephen King vibe), sat proudly in the center of an open field. Hundreds, maybe thousands, of lights were strung high above the entire space. Games, booths, and vendors lined the midway where people played and laughed and ate.
Vincent was the first to hop out.
“We're here! Roz, betcha can't beat me at the bottle ring toss!” He exclaimed as I climbed out.
“I bet you're right!” I agreed with a smirk. “I don't even know what that is.”
He stared at me, then rolled his eyes. “You have so much to learn.”
I patted the top of his head, teasing. “And are you going to be my teacher, then?”
He nodded seriously, and turned to Mitch as he and Bonnie exited the van.
“She doesn't even know the bottle ring toss game.”
“Then I'm sure you'll show her how to play it!” Mitch grinned.
He looked down at his watch and said, “Okay so the center ring has their show beginning in one hour. That gives us plenty of time to stroll around and play some games. Who's with me?”
“Yes!” Vincent shouted, “Let's do this!”
***
We walked the midway, playing- and, losing- the carnival games. It was the most fun I'd had in ages. The bright lights lit up the night sky while neighbors and strangers strolled by with cotton candy, hot dogs, and stuffed animals. In truth, it seemed more like a carnival than a circus, but since I hadn't been to either before this night, I didn't really know.
I saw several kids from my school here and there. A few said hi or nodded at me, which made me smile shyly back. I'd never been acknowledged by my peers before and it was a new experience for me. I felt awkward and unsure of how to react whenever someone threw me that proverbial bone, but deep in my soul I could feel the tightly closed bud of my Inner Roz slowly begin to unfurl.
Before I knew it, I was laughing and skipping merrily with the kids, much to Mitch and Bonnie’s surprise. It came quite naturally and I had a blast, letting loose and finding the childhood fun that I had long been denied.
The circus ring was located in the center of the field, and we took our front row seats a few minutes before showtime. It was fascinating! I loved the big, round dirt floor, the nets suspended high above, the large, colorful drapes hanging from floor to ground. I was entranced by the sights and sounds, and waited anxiously for the show to start.
As we sat, chatting happily with one another, I heard someone call out my name.
“Roz!”
I turned my head and there was Parker, two rows behind me.
Oh no. Not now, please.
I gave a hurried wave and turned back to the front. There was no way I was going to engage with him, not when my dream of him as that crazy, scary clown was still so vivid. And it didn't take rocket science to figure out my current situation- sitting here within a den of clowns- wasn't going to help with Parker right behind me.
Just as I had the thought, a stupid clown popped up right in front of me, his beady eyes gleaming and sparkling. No doubt he looked so happy because he was thinking of all the ways to torment his audience. He had a big, curly blue wig on and his face was painted white with big pink circles on his cheeks, red nose, and outlined mouth. He wore the typical clown shoes and get-up, but I wasn't impressed.
I was apprehensive.
“The show is about to begin! Are you ready!” He shouted at the crowd and everyone cheered.
“You can do better than that! Are you ready?!” He screamed, making giant animated motions, waving his arms about wildly.
The crowd roared even louder and the clown giggled his wicked glee. His little evil eyes landed on mine as he waved and jumped and acted ridiculous.
With Parker now sitting closely behind me, and this stupid clown directly in front of me, a wave of anxiety passed through my body. I took several deep breaths in order to calm my racing heart and stamp down my growing unease.
I think it was safe to say, the nightmare I’d experienced made me hate clowns now.
***
“That was so cool!” Vincent shouted as we left the ring once the show was over.
“What was your favorite part, Roz?” Bonnie asked me happily as she linked her arm in mine and walked with me.
I smiled. Once I'd gotten over my trepidation (translation: irrational fear of clowns), I had a great time.
“The acrobats,” I replied easily. I'd love seeing their glitter-covered bodies fly through the air with no worry or hesitation on their parts. It was an amazing sight to behold, one in which I'd been happy to lose myself in.
One of the acrobats, a beautiful, lithe woman, had been dressed like a magnificent butterfly. Her leotard was black and every square inch was covered with sparkles.
She was one of the girls who got to get thrown back and forth in the air, from one big muscular guy suspended upside down from a trapeze, to another who was there to catch her. And each time she was in the air, soaring between the catchers, she spread her arms, which had wings attached.
The wings were sewn into the sleeves of her leotard and connected along her spine, so it gave the effect of butterfly wings whenever she was in the air. It was magnificent, like watching an actual person transform into something amazing right before my eyes. A few times, she tucked her position into a ball to spin, and when she did that, she'd look like the most delicate of creatures using her wings to protect her. But then, she'd open her arms wide, much to the delight of the crowd who would offer up a collective gasp. Her wings were of every color and when she displayed them for us, it made quite a stunning sight.
The entire acrobat show was the single most amazing thing I'd ever seen.
We exited the opposite side of the circus tent from where we'd entered, and it brought us to the back end of the carnival games. We hadn't made it to these before the show started, so we were pretty excited to see what we'd missed.
Until, however, Mitch pointed out a certain attraction which made my pulse spasm and race within my veins.
“Hall of Mirrors!” He exclaimed, pointing. “Let's go!”
I felt the world fall away and the blood drain from my face as my sight followed the direction of his finger. There, before me, was the Hall of Mirrors from my dream. Well, no, not exactly the same, but close enough. It had a brightly lit neon sign in a half circle over a set of black doors. Red, yellow, and green striped drapes outlined the doorway.
Yet another freaking clown stood at the doors, opening them when it was the next person’s turn to go through the maze. I looked at him hard, making sure he didn't wear the telltale green polka dot bowtie.
He didn't. But his entire clown suit was green with white polka dots.
I shivered.
A short line of people waited to go inside, all of them laughing and talking. One of them was Parker who stood with two girls.
Of course.
From this distance, he looked so normal and handsome. He was dressed in a dark brown suede coat and blue jeans. His smile was brilliant and he looked completely harmless. The bright lights made his blue-green eyes shine even more than they usually did, and then they fell on me.
He offered me a small smile, and a wave.
I nodded to him in acknowledgement and then turned my attention to Mitch.
“I'm not going in there,” I said firmly.
He raised his eyebrows in surprise.
“What? Come on, it's the best! You'll love it!”
I firmly shook my head, no.
Bonnie gave my shoulders a squeeze.
“It's alright, Roz,” she said gently, her eyes seeing something in my expression, “You don't have to go through it. Just wait for us here.”
I nodded gratefully.
“See ya on the flipside, dork!” Vincent exclaimed as he ran to get in line. The others quickly followed.
I looked around and found an empty bench near the exit of the Hall of Mirrors, and took a seat. I sighed, chiding myself for not being brave enough to go in with the others, but I simply couldn't bring myself to do it. There were too many things in my life which were starting to scare the crap out of me- the missing two hours, Parker, my nightmares. Not to mention I still hadn't quite come to terms with my mother’s death, or the way Derek had assaulted me.
I just didn't have it in me to try and face yet one more terrifying thing.
I sat in silence, letting my gaze drift over the happy couples who walked about me. Boyfriends were kissing girlfriends, husbands were holding hands with wives, families were laughing in the carefree environment.
I thought of Jimmy, and wondered where he was at this moment. If he was here, if he could see me, or if he was lost somewhere behind the mysterious veil which kept our worlds apart.
I glanced around quickly to make sure no one was near.
“Jimmy? Are you here?”
A cold blast of air hit my side and I grinned, looking at the empty space beside me.
“Who's got you smiling like that?” A voice asked behind me.
I startled, and turned. Parker.
Again.
“No one,” I replied defensively, “I was just smiling.”
He stood with the same two girls, who looked disinterested. Both had strawberry blonde hair and were dressed alike in skinny jeans, jackets, and scarves. They looked like twins, but not identical. There was something was oddly familiar about the duo.
“Roz, these are my sisters, Pippa and Paige,” he introduced them.
I stood and nodded, saying hi to both girls. The one named Pippa was chewing a giant wad of gum, and Paige looked bored. They appeared to be in middle school, and although they were pretty, they didn't resemble their older brother at all.
“They're in eighth grade,” he said, “and before you ask, yes, they're twins,” he laughed.
I smiled. He was being pretty polite to me, considering I'd yelled at him in school in front of everyone earlier in the week, so I decided to play nice.
“Pleasure to meet you both,” I said.
“Yeah, we saw you before,” Pippa said as she popped a bubble.
“We gave you a ride home, remember?” Paige said, stifling a yawn.
I looked at Parker, who glared at the girls.
“No, actually I don't remember.”
That made the two girls giggle as they turned to each other, but before I could say another word, I suddenly found myself accosted.
“Hey little lady! Step right up! Come play in my maze!”
To my horror, that freaking clown in the green polka dot suit was right in front of me, only inches away from my face. I backed up quickly, startled, only to connect with something solid.
“Come on Roz,” Parker whispered into my ear. His hands came up from behind me and gripped my elbows. “Let's go try the maze. You'll love it. I won’t let you get lost.”
I was sandwiched between the clown and Parker, struggling to release his grip on my elbows and completely, maybe irrationally, afraid for myself.
What was going on? Why would they both tag-team me like this? I didn't even know the clown! What was his problem?
But the questions left me as soon as they came, because all I could think was that I wanted to get away- no, needed to.
Soon the clown had a hold of my hands and he was pulling me forward, laughing hysterically, announcing to the onlookers how much fun I was going to have. As he pulled, Parker pushed on my back, urging me forward. I dug my feet into the hard packed dirt below, but it did nothing to deter them. The both of them were too strong for me.
“Jimmy,” I whispered frantically, my voice expressing my fear. “Jimmy help!”
“What was that?” Parker asked, obviously amused. “Who’s Jimmy? Oh, yes, now I remember. Isn’t he the one who protects you?”
I stared up unto Parker’s face, astonished. “How did you know that?”
He smiled wickedly.
“You revealed a lot of your secrets to me in the library, don't you remember?”
I shook my head no, pulling as hard as I could to get away from the clown, and suddenly, they were there.
“Hey fellas! What's the problem here?”
Mitch!
And right behind him were Bonnie and the kids.
The clown laughed jovial and slapped Mitch on the back. “Just getting the young lady to try out The Hall of Mirrors!” He grinned.
�
��Well it appears to me she isn't interested,” he said sternly.
The clown’s jubilant attitude quickly withered.
“No harm meant, mister,” he said sheepishly, “It's sort of what we do here, to get the scared ones to have fun.”
Mitch said nothing, he simply allowed his stare to burn holes into the clown before us.
The clown looked at me apologetically and said, “Sorry, miss,” then turned and walked back to the entrance of his attraction.
I opened my mouth to thank Mitch, but he wasn't done doling out his anger.
“And you, Parker Evans! I've known you since you were ten! How could you treat a young woman like Rosalind with such disregard?”
Parker backed off slowly, his face seemingly startled at Mitch’s outburst.
“Mr. Walters, I assure you, I was just having a bit of fun with Roz. That's all.”
Mitch stood to his full height and stepped right up, invading Parker’s personal space. My foster dad had never looked scary to me before, but like this, he was downright intimidating.
“If I hear of you treating Roz like this ever again, you'll be answering to me. Are we understood?”
Parker swallowed nervously and gave a swift nod before turning to his sisters, who watched the scene in some kind of immature delight.
“See you Monday, Roz,” he said apologetically as they left.
I turned to my foster family, each one eyeing me with worry.
“Thanks, Mitch,” I said shakily.
CHAPTER 17
The ride home was quiet, filled with soft snores coming from Amelia and Vincent. No one spoke, it was almost as if we all silently agreed the Parker-Clown-Incident could wait until later.
And for that, I was thankful.
My rational, practical side instantly chided myself for getting so freaked out tonight. I mean, after all, Parker and some clown wanted me to try the attraction, and had obviously thought it was funny that I was so afraid to go in. I mean, that was a guy thing, right? Guys were always messing around with girls, trying to get laughs and stuff.
Rest in Peace Roz: The R.I.P. Series Book 1 Page 10
