“And you’re going to protect me?” I asked. “You’re going to make sure that doesn’t happen?”
“Not just us,” Devon said quietly. “Odessa, too.”
My best friend took that moment to say softly, “All this time, I thought it was because I was Jewish.”
Devon looked at her apologetically. “I had to let you think that,” she said sadly. “I’m so sorry.”
The rest of us looked from one to the other.
“What are you two talking about?” Erica asked.
Odie shook her head. “Not important,” she said, “Devon and I worked some things out while she was taking up space in my head.”
“So,” I said slowly, “You guys are cool?”
Odie and Devon looked at one another, both smiling.
“Yeah,” Odie said. “We’re cool.”
***
Once The Pastels left, me and Odie stayed behind, lingering at our table. She was quiet, I’m sure trying to understand whatever Devon had shared with her via their trance-like state. I, on the other hand, was nervously digesting how I fit in with all of this with Parker.
Why me? Why did he want to use my body for his sick, twisted spell? Surely there were tons of other people who he could pick on just as easily.
And then, the proverbial light bulb flickered on inside my mind, and I remembered his words to me from one of my dreams:
“Only someone who has endured years of pain like you, could be so open to torment. You’re exactly what I need.”
I gasped and realized he had been right. I’d been abused, neglected, and belittled for years. My parents injected heroin into me. My stepfather touched me. Hit me. Then tried to rape me. My older sister died and my mother pretended like it never happened, like she was never born. My entire life had been one form of torture after another, until I came here. Until I’d seen Jimmy and fallen in love with him.
Jimmy.
Jimmy was a gift to me, he was everything that was good and beautiful and special in my life. How could something so pure and lovely come from something so evil? Because as much as I hated to admit it, Parker was the reason why I had Jimmy. He was the reason I could see my ghost, my savior. He was the reason I had Jimmy in my life.
As twisted as it may be, I felt like thanking Parker. If it hadn’t been for him, I never would have seen Jimmy. And quite possibly, Jimmy might have never been able to save me from Derek that night.
I said it once before, and I’ll say it again now:
Oh, the irony.
CHAPTER 31
“What do you mean, you don’t know?” I asked Odie.
We sat cross-legged facing each other under the big tree in my backyard. The family had invited Odie for dinner now that Bonnie was doing a little better, even though we all still grieved for Amelia.
Spring had finally come to Indiana, and the weather was beautiful. Mitch was cooking kabobs on the grill, while Bonnie set the patio table on the deck. I’d never eaten a meal outside that had also been cooked outside, and a part of me was excited to have this experience.
Another part of me was incredibly frustrated with my bestie.
I’d been trying all week to find out what it was exactly that had passed between Odie and Devon in the library that day, but she couldn’t tell me.
“I honestly don’t know what she gave me,” Odie said stubbornly.
“That makes no sense,” I said.
“I already told you, it was like a vision. She handed me a scroll and said not to open it until it was needed. That if she and the others couldn’t be there, I was your backup plan and I’d know what to do when the time came.”
“So where is this scroll now?” I asked.
Odie shrugged. “It disappeared when I came out of the trance. Devon said it’ll come back to me when you need it. It’s… some kind of… magical weapon, I think.”
I sighed. I already knew all this but I was growing more and more frightened by the day, and rehashing everything seemed to be the only way I could cope.
“And that’s it? For ten minutes you were in some kind of weird coma, and that’s it?”
Odie shrugged, “Well, she apologized for ending our friendship and for making me think it was for me being a Jew.”
Yes, Odie had already shared that with me, too. Devon had just come into her witch’s powers rather unexpectedly. She had no idea what was happening to her, and was scared. Apparently, she was zapping things with an electric type of charge left and right, with no control over any of it. She hadn’t even known witches existed, so when her coven found her one night, running away from her family and friends (because she was afraid of hurting them), they’d taken her in and showed her who and what she was.
When she’d told Odie they couldn’t be friends because of “religious differences,” she never meant it as a slight to what Odie was. She’d meant it more toward what she, herself was. She’d loved Odie and didn’t want her to get inadvertently hurt, and she’d believed ending their friendship was the best way to protect her.
All was now forgiven, but I know the hurt had run deep for my friend.
“Dinner’s on!” Bonnie yelled to us from where she stood on the deck.
I waved a thumbs up at her and sighed.
“I’m scared, Odie,” I admitted quietly.
“I know,” she said, “I’m scared, too.”
She reached out and grabbed my hand, then pulled me up to my feet.
“Come on,” she said, “Let’s go be scared with a full stomach. Deal?”
I smiled. “Deal.”
***
Since the day Amelia had left to go live with her aunt, my dreams had stopped. Tonight, however, they came back with a vengeance. And the one person who mattered most to me, who I wanted to see more than anything, was there.
I was dreaming of the backyard, but it was different. It had a small pond in the center of it, with the family pets lying nearby, languidly observing.
The air was filled with a million tiny dragonflies, all shimmering and sparkling as if they were made of gold glitter. Wherever they flew, they left a trail of stardust in the air behind them.
Flowers of every color bloomed all over, and the sky was painted in purple, orange, and pink from the setting sun.
I stopped at the edge of the pond and looked down at the smooth water. My image was reflected in its mirror-like surface, and I was dressed in a pale pink, chiffon blouse that ruffled along the sleeves. I wore a matching, flowy skirt that billowed around my calves, and matching pumps adorned my feet.
That was my first clue I was dreaming. I’d never, ever, worn heels in real life.
I was staring at my reflection, admiring the way the clothes looked on me, when Jimmy’s reflection quietly stepped up beside mine. He was dressed as he always was, white t-shirt and leather jacket, and my heart raced at the sight of him.
I instantly turned away from the pond, to my right, where he would be standing. Except, he wasn’t there. I turned to the left. Nothing but dragonflies in the air.
Looking back at the pond, he hadn’t moved, he was still standing beside me, but he looked sad.
“Where are you?” I asked. “Why can’t I see you anymore?”
“I’m still here,” he replied quietly, “But Parker did a spell, he raised the veil between my realm and yours.”
“I’ll make him lower it,” I said angrily, “Parker is a jerk and needs to understand that we can’t be separated like this!”
“It’s his plan,” Jimmy said. I watched as he raised his hands behind me and placed them gently on my shoulders. I could feel his touch, just barely, and it felt like I’d been missing this all my life. “He wants you to miss me so badly, that you give in to what he wants. He’s going to tell you that we can be together if you give in to him.” His hands squeezed my shoulders harder, gripping them tightly, “Don’t give in to him, Roz! Don’t let him have you, baby! Promise me!”
I stared at Jimmy’s reflection, filled with a sudden lo
nging and ache that was almost unbearable.
“But if I do,” I said slowly, “We can be together, Jimmy. Forever.”
He gripped me harder and brought his head beside my own, staring deeply into my reflection’s eyes.
“But you will be dead.”
“So what!” I cried. “You’re dead! How would that be any different from me being dead? We could be together, Jimmy!”
He shook his head roughly.
“You have a life to live, you silly, beautiful girl! Don’t throw it away for me!”
“You are my life!” I argued.
“Then it’s a good thing Parker has hidden me!” He shouted. “I’m a ghost, Rosalind! What kind of future do you think we’d have together, anyway?”
He was hurting me on purpose, I knew. I could see it all over his face. He didn’t mean to fight with me, but he was doing the same thing Devon had done to Odie a few years ago.
Hurt the ones they loved, to protect them.
“We will have whatever kind of future we decide to have,” I said softly. “We love each other, Jimmy, and that’s all we need.”
He lowered his head, removed his hands, and said so quietly I had to strain to hear him, “I don’t love you anymore.”
I gasped. I knew he was lying, but it still hurt far more than anything else ever had in my entire life.
“Liar,” I whispered.
He raised his head once more to look at my reflection again.
“I’m not lying,” he said quietly.
“Yes you are,” I said strongly, “And I know why. But I’m not going to let you do this, Jimmy, do you hear me?”
“Goodbye, Roz,” he said softly, and turned to walk away.
“No, Jimmy!” I yelled, turning around to follow him, to beg him to take it back, to plead with him to tell me he loved me. But there was nothing there, only the golden trails of sparkling dust in the air from the dragonflies, and the family pets who stared at me so curiously.
***
The next morning, I sat up in my bed and announced to my empty bedroom, “I know you’re here, because you are always here, Jimmy. And I’m telling you now, I don’t believe you. You’ve always loved me. Always! But, I know why you did it, why you tried to hurt me.”
I paused and looked around the room, hoping for a sight of him. Of course, there was nothing, but I continued on.
“I know you feel like, if I think you don’t love me, it will be that much easier for me not to let Parker have his way. Parker wants my body for his necromancy spell, and believe me, it would be so easy to let him do it. Then,” I heard my voice catch as my eyes filled with tears, “Then, I could be with you always. Our spirits would be together forever, and we’d never have to separate.” I closed my eyes, allowing the tears to drip down my cheeks. “But that also means I lose out on something else- my family.” I swallowed, feeling my heart rip and shatter with my words, “I love this family, Jimmy. I can’t leave them, not when I’ve just found them.” I paused once more as the pain of my decision became real. “I’m not going to give in to Parker, even though I want to spend an eternity with you. I’m not going to let him have my spirit, at least, not without a fight. But know this, Jimmy,” and I opened my eyes, which landed on the empty chair situated at my desk, because I believed he was most likely sitting there, “If you ever lie to me and tell me you don’t love me, ever again, even if it's to protect me, then I’m going to make The Pastels do a spell that forces you to wear a tutu for all of eternity. Do we understand each other?”
The air around the chair shifted for a small, almost-undetectable moment. It lasted just a split-second, but I had seen it, nonetheless.
“I believe that’s settled, then.”
I stood from my bed and headed for the bathroom, smiling through through my tears.
CHAPTER 32
I hated Mr. Harken.
The next week during art class, my awesome, laid-back teacher, the one who was so terribly cool and kind to all of us students, informed the class he was holding a “Spring Art Fling,” the beginning of May. He explained to the class that it would be just like an art exhibit, with our pieces on display and little appetizers and sparkling cider (instead of champagne), being served to the attendees. He said that it was not a requirement to participate, but those of us who wished to offer some pieces to sell at the Fling could sign up for it on the roster, and he held up a clipboard.
As some of the students were adding their names to his sign-up sheet, he approached the spot where I stood at an easel, working on a portrait of Amelia in shades of pink and blue.
“I've already added you to the list, Roz,” he said happily. “You won't be required to sell your pieces unless you choose to, but I'm making a display for them regardless. I have something very specific in mind for your little gallery, I hope you don't mind. Of course, you'll be required to attend, but work like yours must be seen and appreciated.”
Oh. My. Gosh.
Odie let a giant gasp and covered her mouth immediately when I flashed her the stink eye.
“Umm, Mr. Harken,” I began, “Thanks, but that's-”
“I'm not taking no for an answer,” he said with a smile. “Decide on the pieces you'll be showing, and let me know. This also gives you about three weeks to work on something new.”
And with that, he turned and walked back to his desk, smiling and chipper, like he hadn't just embarrassed the ever-loving crap right out of me.
“I can't show my work at an exhibit!” I exclaimed to Odie who stood at her own easel beside me.
“Of course you can!” She said. “Look at this,” she pointed to her canvas with her paintbrush. “What do you see?”
I looked at what she'd been painting. It was a mess of browns, greens, and yellows.
“I see earthy colors,” I said honestly.
“Do you see anything else?” She asked.
“Give me a hint,” I told her.
She rolled her eyes. “See? My work is crap! I'm painting a mountain landscape, Roz!”
I looked again, but couldn't see it, not even knowing what it is.
“Sorry,” I said sheepishly.
“Now look at yours,” she ordered.
I did. It was quite obviously Amelia, in a meadow of pink and blue flowers, with a pink and blue sky above her. She was running and laughing, her joy in the moment coming off the canvas.
I glanced back toward Odie.
“Your work is superb,” she said simply with a shrug. “I agree with Mr. Harken. It needs to be seen, and appreciated.”
I hated them both.
Odie took it upon herself to tell our teacher which pieces I'd be showing at the exhibit. He agreed with each one, while I fumed at my easel.
Did I mention that I hated them?
They stood together at the display wall, where some of the students’ work was hanging. She pointed to one of mine, then another, then he'd point to one, and she'd say something. It was unnerving, watching them dissect the things I'd done since starting this class.
Finally, I couldn't take it anymore and I approached them both.
“Having fun?” I asked sarcastically.
“Odie was telling me that you're nervous about having your work shown,” Mr. Harken replied, ignoring my sarcasm. “I think you'll find this to be an excellent opportunity to showcase how far you've come, Roz. I know your parents will be proud.”
And that's what did me in.
My parents will be proud.
I never had real parents to make proud before. Never had a family who cared about my achievements. This was going to be a first for me, in more ways than one.
Odie eyed me sympathetically and saw the moment I internally gave in.
“They will be quite proud of you, Roz,” she said sweetly.
“Okay,” I managed to say above the rising tide of emotion welling in my throat, “I'll do it.”
***
For the next few weeks, things seemed to look up.
I di
dn't forget about meeting my impending doom with Parker, but the Spring Art Fling gave me something else to focus on, something positive, besides researching voodoo and black magic and all that mumbo jumbo. For that, I was grateful.
I threw myself into creating new pieces for the exhibit, partly because it was great to have a distraction from the weird stuff, but mostly because I ached to hear those words from Mitch and Bonnie- “We are proud of you.”
Parker was good at keeping to himself, but just when I'd start forgetting about what he had planned for me, I'd catch him staring at me with something akin to desire, and it'd bring everything back. It made me so incredibly uncomfortable.
On the one hand, the guy was freaking gorgeous, and the way he looked at me and watched me, made me feel stupidly girly inside. Then, came horrendous guilt. I loved Jimmy, I belonged to him, so why should this jerkface get that kind of reaction from me?
On the other hand, what Parker wanted me for was to see if he could transfer another spirit into my body, which would result in my inevitable death. Sure, my body would continue to live, but with someone else driving it.
So yeah. There wasn't really any way I could justify that one.
I wrote a letter to Amelia, saying I missed her and I hoped she was happy. I didn't tell her anything about the portrait I'd painted of her. That was going to be a gift for Bonnie, and I wanted to keep it to myself for a bit longer.
I made it a point to spend more time with Vincent. Without Amelia around anymore, I'm sure he felt the loss more than I did. They were like peas in a pod, one never without the other. And now, she was gone, and although I was a sorry replacement for her, I tried my best to ease it for him.
Friday-Night-Gaming-And-Pizza soon became a thing for us. We would hook up Mitch’s Xbox to the living room TV, order our two favorite pizzas (compliments of Bonnie), and have a blast. I soon learned his favorite game to play was Minecraft, and although I was terrible at all video games (I'd grown up not having any sort of console), he taught me all the tricks and trades.
Rest in Peace Roz: The R.I.P. Series Book 1 Page 20
