Straight Laced

by Jessica Gunhammer

  “I don’t know.”

  “You don’t know? That’s the best answer you can give me? You don’t know?”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “Why did you even want to meet up? I thought you wanted to talk?”

  “I do.”

  “So talk!” He looked down at his menu and didn’t say another word. “This was a complete waste of time.” I slid out of the booth. “I don’t even know what I was thinking coming here. I’m so stupid.”

  “You’re not stupid.”

  “I’m not? Then why the hell am I standing here hoping that maybe this guy, who is still pretty much a stranger to me, is going to tell me something like, I don’t know, ‘hey Summer, I like you, maybe we should try this whole dating thing.’ If that doesn’t make me stupid, then I don’t know what does.” I grabbed my purse and walked across the restaurant and out the door to the parking lot.

  I halfway hoped he would chase after me. I wanted him to chase after me so bad. But I made it all the way to my car and got in before I looked back. He was nowhere in sight. What was wrong with me? I’d never been like this before. I’d never wanted someone to want me so bad in my life. For him to let me just walk away like that killed me.

  I waited in my car for another thirty minutes, trying to pass time before I went home. If I got home too early, my parents would be all over me. I looked up just in time to see Nate walking out of the restaurant. He was talking to someone on the phone, flailing his arms around like he was in some kind of heated argument. I’m glad he didn’t know what kind of car I drove. He probably figured I left a long time ago. I watched him hang up the phone, jump on his bike, and take off out of the parking lot.

  I pulled my phone out of my purse and dialed Tori’s number.

  “Hello?”

  “Hey. Do you know if your brother has talked to Nate recently?”

  “No…why?” I went on and told her about what had happened during our little meet up.

  “Well, that sounds…intense.”

  “Yeah, just a little.” I looked at the clock and sighed. “I better go. I gotta get home. I told my parents I was going to a movie with you.”

  “All right, I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

  “Okay. Hey, let me know if you hear anything about Nate.”

  “Will do. Bye.”

  ***

  The next morning I wasn’t up for doing much so I decided to go grab some tacos from my favorite taco place, then come back home and wait for Tori to get done shopping with her mom. I was sure she’d have all kinds of great horror stories to tell me about the outfits her mom tried to get her to buy, she always does.

  I pulled into the parking lot of the restaurant and joined the line for the drive-thru. That was the plan, go through the drive-thru then go straight home to eat. That was until I saw a familiar motorcycle in a parking stall to my right. Okay, I could either go through and pretend I never saw the bike or I could go in and try and fix everything that happened last night. This must be a sign. I’m really into the “everything happens for a reason” thing. So I backed out of line and pulled into the empty spot next to the bike.

  I walked inside and ordered my food before I even went to the tables to see if he was here. Of course he was here, I knew that was his bike. Oh man, what if he was here with someone? I never thought of that. Shit. I got my cup and went for the soda machine. I looked over my shoulder and saw him sitting at the table behind me. He looked up from his phone for a split second and made eye contact with me.

  I went over to the table and slid into the seat across from him.

  “Hey,” was all he said.

  “Hey, I saw your bike outside so I thought I’d come in and see if you were here.” I took a sip of my soda. “I didn’t like the way things went down last night; I’d like to try this again, if that’s okay.”

  He smiled. “Of course. I was going to text you but you seemed pretty pissed off when you left.” He was right, I was pissed off and I was even more pissed off that he didn’t come after me when I stormed out of the restaurant.

  “I guess you could say that.” A lady came out from the back and brought me my food. She set the tray down in front of me and continued on her way. “So, I’m just going to come out and say it. You said you like me, but why don’t you want to try and make something of this? And please just tell me—all I want is for you to be honest with me. I’ve been racking my brain trying to figure this whole thing out but I’m so confused.”

  “I know.” I could tell he was hesitant. “I’m…I’m not good enough for you, Summer. You’re supposed to be with someone like Brent, not someone like me.”

  “Who says this?”

  “No one. That’s just how it is. That’s how it would end up. You and me are complete opposites. Girls like you don’t end up with guys like me. It would never work, so why not just save us from the mess of everything and just figure it was what it was and now it’s time to move on.” I was at a loss for words. I wasn’t expecting that to come out of his mouth. I don’t know what I was expecting to hear from him but I know that wasn’t even on the list of scenarios I went through in my head.

  “Girls like me? What does that even mean?”

  “I’ll just be straight with you. We don’t know each other very well but I’ll tell you this, I hardly graduated from high school, I work a nine to five job, and I have no plans to go to college. I don’t have any kind of relationship with my parents and I’ve had to work for everything I’ve needed and wanted since I was fourteen. I have tattoos, piercings, gauged ears, and I drive a motorcycle. Your parents would take one look at me and tell you that you could never see me again. Where would I fit in to your life? I wouldn’t.”

  “Oh really? And since you know my life so well, how about you tell me everything you know.”

  “I know you have strict parents and you obey and listen to everything they tell you. You plan on going to school to become a doctor because that’s what they want for you. You’ve been given everything and you’ve probably never worked a day in your life. Not to mention, your car could pay a year’s worth of my rent. You’re too straight laced, Summer, and I’m far from that.”

  “Is that really what you see when you look at me?” I could feel tears starting to fill up the rims of my eyes. He just described everything I didn’t want to be, I despised people that were like that.

  “Some of it.” He shrugged. “Some of it’s what I’ve heard.” I wasn’t angry with him, I was more upset and hurt than anything. I felt that lump forming in my throat and I knew if I spoke I wouldn’t be able to hold back the tears any longer. So I said the only thing I knew I could get out.

  “Okay.” I grabbed my purse off the bench next to me and scooted out of my seat. I headed straight for the door without turning back.

  “Summer, wait!” I pushed the door open and made a run for my car. “Summer!” I heard him yell from behind me but I didn’t stop. I got in my car and pulled my sunglasses on over my eyes. I knew they weren’t going to hold the tears back any longer. I saw him walking towards my car, so I put it in drive and turned in the opposite direction. He attempted to jog after me, but when I pulled onto the main road, he stopped. I looked back in my rearview mirror and saw him standing on the curb. As I drove away, I stared into the mirror until I could no longer see him in the distance.

  Chapter 11

  As upset as I was with Nate, I should be able to just call him an asshole and move on to the next one. But for some reason I had the urge to prove to him that I’m not that girl he said I was. Even if he still didn’t want to date me that’s fine, but I needed him to know that girl wasn’t me. I needed to know that’s not me. Some of what he said was true and some of it wasn’t, but either way, I wanted all of it to change.

  Even though Nate ran after me this time, he didn’t make any effort to contact me after. Granted, it’d only been a few hours, but that conversation and those few hours had changed my whole perspective on things and who I want to be. N
eedless to say, my world was about to be rocked.

  I’d decided that when my parents got home I was going to sit them down and tell them I wasn’t going to school to become a doctor. That was their dream, not mine. I’m going to take a year off, find a job, and travel. Just like I’ve always wanted to do. I’m completely prepared for them to freak out and cut me off from everything, but I’m okay with that. I’m ready to do this.

  As much as I was hurt by what Nate had said to me, I was also a little relieved. He had opened my eyes to what was going on around me. It was the push I needed to finally stand up to my parents and get some of the weight lifted off my shoulders.

  The talk with my parents went just as I had planned. They totally flipped. They told me I needed to focus on getting a real job and that if I took time off to travel, I would be wasting valuable time and that would put me that much farther behind in life. They also told me I needed to grow up and realize what was important in life. When I told them that was exactly what I was doing, things went from bad to worse and there went my car and computer. After about two hours of bickering back and forth, they finally sent me to my room to “think about life and let what just happened sink in.”

  When I got to my room I picked up my phone. I’m glad they forgot to take that away. I’m sure they’d be in tomorrow morning to add it to the list. I noticed I had seven missed calls and a text from Tori. That’s strange. She doesn’t usually blow up my phone like this. I opened the text from her:

  Call me ASAP!

  I did as I was told and she picked up on the second ring.

  “It’s about time!” Her voice was shaky and I could tell something was wrong.

  “Sorry, I was talking to my par—”

  “Nate got in a motorcycle accident.” My stomach dropped. “It’s bad, Summer.” She started to cry on the other end of the line. I could feel that all too familiar lump forming in my throat again.

  “Where are you at?”

  “We’re at the hospital.”

  “I’m on my way.” I hung up my phone and grabbed my purse off my bed. Lucky for me, my parents hadn’t taken my keys away yet because it was way past my curfew and they knew I wouldn’t dare go out past it. Well, tonight was an exception.

  I hurried out the door and jumped in my car. I didn’t even bother to tell them I was leaving. I knew they would hear my car but I didn’t care, Tori needed me and I needed to be there for Nate. That was all that mattered right now.

  ***

  I walked into the waiting room and saw Tori, Brent, and Lynn sitting in some chairs in the corner. I ran over to Tori and threw my arms around her. Her eyes were swollen and red from crying.

  “How is he?” I asked.

  She shrugged. “We don’t know much,” she whispered. “We just know he lost a lot of blood and he’s in surgery right now.” My stomach got queasy.

  “What happened?”

  “We’re not really sure. He and Brent were out riding and Brent said he looked in his mirror at some point and realized Nate wasn’t behind him. So he stopped at a gas station and waited for him to catch up. After a few minutes when he didn’t show Brent started to get worried, so he turned around and went back the way he came. He said he had a feeling something bad had happened so he started looking in the ditches and that’s when he noticed Nate’s bike. When he got to the bike he didn’t see Nate, so he flagged some lady down and they searched the ditch together. They found him a few feet away…it wasn’t good.” Tori started to cry again. I tried to block the images that were flooding my head but I couldn’t, they were making me physically sick. I looked over at Brent.

  “Was he wearing a helmet?” He just nodded. Thank God for that, I thought. I’d never seen Brent look so pale, all the color was drained from his face. He was leaned over with his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands. I knew what he was thinking. He was finding ways to blame himself for what had happened to Nate.

  “I’m going to the restroom,” Tori said.

  “I’ll go with you.” Lynn got up with Tori and they walked down the hallway.

  I moved over to the seat next to Brent. He didn’t even look up. I sat down next to him and leaned back in the chair.

  “It’s not your fault.” He looked up at me. I could see the pain in his eyes. I leaned forward and put my hand on his arm. “It’s not your fault he got in that accident.” He didn’t say anything. He just nodded his head to let me know he heard what I said before looking back down at the ground.

  We had been sitting in the waiting room for about three hours. Every time a nurse came out from the emergency room doors we would all look up in hopes to get some kind of update. When a dark curly haired woman came out, we all looked up—this time she was looking at us.

  “Are you Nate’s family?” she asked.

  Brent jumped up from his chair. “I’m his brother.” We all knew he could get in big trouble for lying, but nobody said a word. Every one of us would’ve done the same thing if we were in his position.

  “Great. Nate’s doing good. He just got out of surgery. He’ll be in recovery for awhile.”

  “Is he awake? Can I see him?”

  “He’s not awake yet and you’ll be able to see him when we take him up to his room. It could be a few more hours, though.”

  “That’s fine. I’ll wait. Is he going to be okay?”

  “I’ll start out by saying he was very lucky you got him here when you did. You saved his life, you and that helmet he was wearing. But, he did have some severe leg damage.”

  “Will he be able to walk again?”

  “I won’t say he won’t ever walk again, but he’ll have a long road of recovery ahead of him. If or when he does walk again, he might always have a limp.”

  Brent nodded his head. “Thank you.”

  “I’ll have a nurse come get you when you can see him.” We watched as she walked back through the doors.

  “We should really try and get ahold of his parents,” Lynn said.

  “Mom, I’m not going to do that until he gives me the go ahead to do so. They have a horrible relationship, and the last time he talked to them, his mom was living in a drug house and the only thing she cared about was how she was going to get her next high.” I was shocked at the words that came out of his mouth. I knew Nate said he wasn’t close with his family, but I had no idea why. “We’re his family now. I’m staying here and going to help him out any way I can.”

  “Okay,” Lynn said.

  “Why don’t all you guys head home? They probably won’t let you go back to see him tonight, anyway. I want someone to stay with him at all times, so maybe you guys can get some sleep and come up and switch out with me in the morning?”

  “I will,” Tori answered.

  “All right. I’ll see you guys in the morning.”

  Lynn gave Brent a hug. “I love you, Brent. Everything is going to be okay. He’s okay and that’s all that matters.”

  “I love you too, Mom.” I took one last look at him before walking out the sliding glass doors. If it hurt me this much to see Brent in so much pain, I could only imagine how I would feel when I saw Nate.

  Chapter 12

  Tori texted me early the next morning and let me know she was on her way to the hospital to be with Nate while Brent went home to get some sleep. After I got ready, I went through the drive-thru at one of the local coffee shops and ordered our regulars. Then I made one final stop at a gas station to pick up a few of the weekly magazines before heading to the hospital to join her.

  None of us were sure how long Nate might be out for. The doctor said he should wake up in the next day or so, but his body needed time to heal and sleeping was a major part of the healing process. Brent still refused to contact Nate’s parents. I don’t even know if he knew where to start if he wanted to.

  I walked through the sliding doors of the large building. I passed the tall desk in the front, where two ladies were answering phones and staring at their computer screens. I made my way t
o the elevators and slid between the closing doors of one. It was empty and my hands were holding the two coffees, but I managed to push the number to Nate’s floor.

  I wasn’t sure what to expect when I saw him. I knew the accident was pretty bad and his legs took most of the damage, but I wondered what his face would look like. Would it have taken any damage since he was wearing a helmet?

  The doors of the elevator opened and I followed the arrow to the even numbered rooms. I’d never liked hospitals, they’re always so bland and boring. They reminded me too much of…death. I didn’t like to think like that, but I blamed it on all the movies and TV shows I’d watched that have taken place in hospitals, someone always died.

  My stomach turned when I thought about it. Nate wouldn’t die, he couldn’t die. I couldn’t watch Tori and Brent go through that. The doctor said everything should be fine. Maybe this will change my perspective of hospitals and make it a more positive place. I heard a loud beeping coming from one of the rooms. I watched as a few nurses ran into the room and called for a doctor.

  “There you are.” I saw Tori on the other side of the circle desk that sat in the middle of the room.

  “Hey, I brought you this.” I handed her one of the coffees.

  “Thanks.” She put the cup up to her pink glossy lips and took a sip. “That tastes like Heaven.”

  “How’s he doing?”

  “Still the same. The nurses come in every hour to check on him and his IVs. No sign of him waking up yet, though.” She turned her back towards me and waved her arm, gesturing for me to follow.

  I didn’t move from where I was standing. I was a little hesitant. It didn’t feel right being here. Nate and I may have kissed and I know we have some kind of connection that I’d never had with anyone else and I can’t quite explain myself, but when it comes right down to it, I really didn’t know him all that well. This just felt so…personal.