by Lynn Red
“Oh my goodness, Mr. Darcy,” Lexie said with a grin. “You certainly know how to make a girl feel things she wouldn’t admit to her grandmother. Or her mom. Unless they were really close. And since you haven’t corrected me on the name, I’m guessing you know what I mean.”
“Well, I’m not a landed aristocrat. And I’m also not vaguely trying to sleep with your sister. I’m not sure you have one, although I promise if you do, I’m not trying to sleep with her as I’m not trying to sleep with anyone at the present moment. Well, I might try to sleep with you, and now I realize I’m veering into creepy territory and have said the phrase ‘sleep with’ at least five times in the past eight seconds.”
“Three,” Lexie said, taking a step closer. “And every time it sounds better and better, so don’t stop now.”
Before she really realized what was happening, Lexie had led her bear to the couch, and picked up a Playstation controller. “So,” she said, “original series or Next Generation?”
“Picard, baby,” Blake said in that core-shaking, gravelly voice. “I’d follow him on a mission into the middle of the sun.”
“I knew I liked you for some reason,” Lexie said, still not quite sure why she was saying all these things. “But now? Now I think it might be more than just liking.”
*
“Well, no, I guess I can’t be irritated,” Dora heard Eve say from where she’d gone into the bedroom moments before. “I should’ve told you earlier it was supposed to be a double. And—” she trailed off, obviously listening to whoever was on the other end for a moment.
Dora fiddled with one of the two ponytails trailing off the back of her head. With a mountain of kinky hair like she had, one just never had enough staying power, so she got two pom-poms instead of one pom. She’d not known that the singular was ‘pom’ until one afternoon when she heard it on a Gilmore Girls episode, and had been really excited ever since about telling everyone who would listen.
She giggled to herself, and fielded a sweet nothing text from Monte about how the twins had been asking after her. They were set for dinner that night, and probably a couple of shitty monster movies, which Dora adored and the rest of her patchwork family tolerated if not outright enjoyed.
“What was that?” she asked when Eve came back through the bedroom door, leaving it swinging closed in her wake. “Sounded like you just got stood up.”
“Worse than that,” Eve said. “My double just became a single.”
“Ugh, I’m sorry honey,” Dora said, sitting up on the couch and reaching for another swig of the malbec Eve poured before they started their pre-date ritual. “If I’d known that guy would—”
“Oh no, not Morales, he’s as excited as I’ve ever heard him,” Eve said. “Lexie and Blake seem to have hit things off better than expected.” A flash of pride crossed Eve’s face. “Well, not better than expected. I mean, who are you talking to? But I didn’t expect them to hit it off quite this fast.”
“Already hopped in the sack and called you during the post-coital cigarette?” Dora asked, chuckling. “Wouldn’t be the first time.”
“No, it wouldn’t,” Eve gave her a narrow-eyed look and turned her head in a way only an owl can do, to look out the window. “But it wasn’t that either. They’ve sailed straight past sexy-times and right into Star Trek territory.”
“Oh God,” Dora said with feigned horror. “Don’t tell me... they had The Argument?”
Eve chuckled. “They did, yes. They’re both on Team Picard. I always thought that was relationship poison, since someone needs to be adventurous and exciting, but I guess they managed to see past it. Anyway, we’re still meeting them around nine for mini-golf of all things. But it looks like the sergeant and I are on our lonesome for dinner. And... to be honest with you, I’m not sure I can handle that.”
“Want me and Monte to chaperone?” Dora saw that Eve was beginning to pull her inner cheek between her teeth; a sure sign of impending nerves. “Or just mysteriously show up at the same restaurant when you guys do and invite ourselves, rudely, to sit with you?”
“Oh lord, I’m not that paranoid,” Eve said.
“It’s been a long time, though,” Dora interjected. “Anybody would be nervous. I’m not judging by the way, if you want us to come hang out, hell, we could even bring the twins, although I’m not sure they’re really compatible with any place more fancy than Chili’s.”
“Gimme that,” Eve reached over and took Dora’s glass, then took a nice sized slug. She gulped, winced, and then smiled. “Nope,” she said. “Nope, I’m going to do this and I’m going to do it myself. I just have to keep reminding myself that it’s just a date.
Dora sneered, and Eve smiled, then a few seconds later the two of them laughed. “I’ll be fine,” Eve said when the joy trailed off. “I’m just acting ridiculous because I’m nervous. It reminds me of one of those 70s horror movies where the movie reminded the audience THIS IS JUST A MOVIE before the picture started because it was so shocking, so horrifying, that people were going insane in the theater.”
“Oh God, I know exactly what you mean. I know it’s not anywhere near the same thing, but when I was about to go on my first outing with Monte, do you remember what a mess I was? I managed to apply and reapply my lipstick so many times, in so many shades, that I looked like a multicolored extra from a David Bowie video.” Dora laughed again, and finished her wine, mostly so Eve wouldn’t steal it.
“No,” Eve said. “I don’t remember, because I was a gigantic mess myself.”
“You... were?” Dora asked. “I’ve never seen you a mess. Or well, I’ve never seen you admit to being one.”
Eve was suddenly thoughtful looking for a different reason altogether. “You remember Lorelei Roberts? The mink we hooked up with that scorching hot fireman?”
“Of course, and also I’m glad you punned that so hard. Monte and I go out with them every so often. Why do you ask?”
“Well, on that first date with Monte, she was in the office. Well, they both were. It’s a long story. Anyway, she told me something, and I kind of stuffed it into the back of my mind and never thought about it again.”
“Oh?” Dora poured herself another glass and then went back to the sofa, crossing her legs underneath herself as she sat. “Anything important?”
“At the time, I didn’t think so. Or, no, that’s not true.”
“What’s wrong?” Dora asked. “You’re getting very... un-Eve. Just out with it, woman, you know we don’t keep things from each other. That’s why you can tease me about my ass, and I can tease you for being older than the mummy.”
Eve let out a very un-Eve-like honking laugh. “Yeah, yeah. Anyway, she was there and I was a goddamn mess. I couldn’t find anything, couldn’t keep my head straight without you. I told her that I couldn’t ever let you know how much of a mess I was without you, and she asked me why I couldn’t.”
Dora felt a wave of chill bumps slide up her arms. She didn’t say anything, instead just listened and waited. Emotional revelations weren’t something that Yvette Lorraine did very often, so she didn’t like to rush them when they did come.
“I realized that I didn’t know why it mattered that I told you. It was almost like I was just guarding myself against something no one else on earth cared about. I put up these totally pointless walls to make myself believe that I’m unflappable and all this. And,” she took a deep breath, and once again swiped Dora’s wine to take a drink. “I know it’s all bullshit. All I do is push people away and that’s not what I want. Anyway, she told me that I should tell you how much you mean to me and how you keep me sane and all that.”
She took another deep breath, and Dora felt a little mist gathering in the corner of her eye. Another thing about Eve’s emotional revelations is that they were nearly always Oscar level impact when they came.
Eve settled down on the sofa beside her friend and put an arm around her shoulder. “So what I’m getting at is that I couldn’t do any of this without y
ou. You keep me sane, but you also... well, you’re the best friend I could ever ask for. No one else would do something like hunting down Rake to try and give me a shot at being happy. And...yeah, well, you deserve to know how much you mean to me.”
Instead of reacting with words, which couldn’t possibly suffice, Dora just leaned over and wrapped her arms around Eve, holding her tight. She opened her mouth when something to say occurred, but decided better of it. For a few moments, they just sat there in one another’s arms.
When they finally parted, there was a decided wetness on both of their shirts, where the other one’s head had been. They each looked at the spot on the other one’s shirt and then laughed, then hugged again. It seemed a little ridiculous, even at the time, but it also seemed perfect, so they both decided just to go with it. It felt good to say things, but it felt even better to just give in to them.
“Thank you,” Dora said when Eve finally got up off the couch. “I mean... I know you think those things, but hearing them is nice, you know?”
Eve nodded. “I know. I like hearing them too, so I don’t know why I keep my hand so close to my chest.”
For a moment, Dora thought that something was strange about this, and then realized what it was – it was the first time in memory that Eve didn’t say get back to work as soon as things got emotional. On the one hand she missed the familiar comfort of the standard comedy line, but on the other, she appreciated even more the raw emotional vulnerability the two of them were sharing right then.
Still, there wasn’t anything else to say, and Dora knew it. The moment was a good one – hell, it was one of the best – but it was gone. No reason to drag it out. “I think you have a bear to get ready for, don’t you?” she asked Eve. “And you know that if you need me, just go to the bathroom, call me and I’ll do some serious wing-woman magic and get you out of there, right?”
“Oh hell,” Eve said. “I don’t want to ruin your night with Monte and the twins. I’m a big girl, I’ve got my grown up underwear on. I’ll survive.”
“Well, if nothing else, all you have to do is live through the dinner part, and then you get to enjoy the wonders of mini-golf at Ralph’s Fun Pit, right?” Dora had a grin on her face, but she knew it was actually true. No matter how weird, bad, or tense dinner was, doing something stupid afterward with other people, regardless of how much strangers they may or may not be, was a relief. She’d been there plenty of times herself.
“It’s true,” Eve said, managing a smile. “But no, seriously, I’m sure I’m just building this up to be something it’s not.” That time when she smiled it was deeper. “Yeah, I’m gonna be fine.”
Dora first patted, then squeezed, Eve’s shoulder. “I know you just said this, but you’re going to be fine. I’m gonna guess you’re even gonna have fun catching up, and hey, if things work out and take a romantic turn, then all the better, right? You’re Eve-Fucking-Lorraine, right? No one can get under your skin unless you let them.”
Then, Eve’s smile started to glitter a little. She lowered one eyelid in a semi-wink. “I’m not sure I’d put it quite that way, but... point well taken. And Dora?”
The two short, spunky shifter women were holding on to one another and looking into each other’s eyes. “Yeah?”
“No matter what happens, we’ve got each other, right?”
“Damn right,” Dora said. “So damn right I can’t even tell you how right you are. No matter what happens at all, you’re gonna tell me about it, good or bad. But remember...”
“Remember what?” Eve asked.
“Remember you owe me one hell of a sex story, and I expect to hear it sooner than later.” She said this with such impressive gravity that it came out like the heavy-handed monologue at the end of a Greek tragedy. “It needs to be hot, and I need details. Lots, and lots, and lots of details.”
Eve couldn’t handle it any more. She burst out with laughter that was so loud it startled Dora slightly, making her jump enough to slosh a little wine off onto her hand. She licked it, then finished her glass. “You’re gonna get so many intricacies that you’ll wish you never taunted me with all that,” Eve said.
“Promise?” Dora asked, still grinning. “Because that’s exactly what I want. After all these years and all these couples you’ve made, that’s exactly what you deserve.”
Eve nodded. “I promise. And I also promise to be as disgusting, as in-depth, and as horrifyingly, clinically, academically accurate as I possibly can. You’ll hear every turn of tongue and thrust of—”
“Okay, okay!” Dora threw her hands up defensively. “I want to hear all that, but only after it happens.”
“Deal,” Eve said. “Now you get out of here, and I gotta run. I took your advice about meeting him at the place. If nothing else, I’ve got a parachute cord to pull.”
“You’re not going to need it,” Dora said, turning back from the door. “I think you know that.”
“Yeah, I think I do,” Eve admitted. “What can you say though? Never hurts to be prepared.”
6
Blake’s burning eyes were trained square on the television. Lexie’s were trained square on Blake. Three hours had passed—they were up to episode four—and she couldn’t remember the last time she’d completely forgotten about time passing.
Well, at least since the first time she played Civilization on her computer back in the early 90s. She looked down at her hand and smiled to see Blake’s finger absently stroking where it had gone to rest about fifteen minutes before.
“What’s going on?” she finally asked.
“Oh, Tasha Yar is practicing her karate on the holodeck and there’s something going on about a vaccine for a disease that’s pretty obviously malaria,” he said without taking his eyes off the TV. At the same time, he rubbed the inside of her wrist with a searching thumb.
Lexie giggled softly. “That’s not exactly what I meant, and I think it’s aikido,” she said. “I meant this. You walked in, we started watching the Trek, and... to be honest with you, I feel like we’ve known each other for years. This is seriously like already-comfortable-with-the-boyfriend stuff.”
He turned to face her, and immediately, Lexie felt the heat of his gaze deep in her core. A tingle snaked up her back, manifesting on her skin in a series of tiny goosebumps, and under her shirt as almost achingly-stiff nipples that brushed the inside of her bra and made her inaudibly gasp.
“I was terrified,” he said. “I thought I was going to come over here and have to put on a show or something. And then I’d have to keep it going for three hours of dinner, and two hours of miniature golf at Fonzie’s Happy Town and—”
“Ralph’s Fun Pit,” Lexie said. They both laughed for a second.
“Right, well, I knew it was something Happy Days related. I saw Scott Baio in a sex education video once, and when he asked the doctor about his erection I just about spit out the gum I was chewing. It was fourth grade and I would have certainly gotten at least a short detention for having gum.”
She smiled again, feeling a twinge of that sensation you only get when someone shares exactly your fears at exactly the same time. It’s a kind of anticipation, a sort of disbelief that you can’t deny because it’s right in front of your face.
“Anyway, I was terrified all that was going to happen. And instead here we are, and you knew she was doing aikido. How can anything have possibly turned out better?”
Lexie smiled again and gave his hand a squeeze. “Want a beer? We gotta run to the mini-golf course soon and meet Eve. I don’t know why, but it seems like she’s really taking an interest in us.”
“Sure, that’ll help. I’m not sure I’ve played putt-putt since I was legal drinking age. That said, I don’t think I’ve ever played it without a few in me.” As she got up and walked to the fridge, opening the door with a clank of glass and food, he thought of something else to ask. “How long have you been here?”
“Uh... three years. Wait, you mean this house or White Creek? My pare
nts moved to the Creek when I was in middle school. Unless... you did mean the house?”
Blake sat there for a second, and when Lexie glanced over, he was obviously deep in thought. “I’m not really sure what I meant,” he said. “I think I was just making chit-chat, but now that you mention it, the house is pretty awesome for one person to live in alone. Not that there’s anything wrong with it, I just—”
Lexie was already laughing, and then laughed again when she sat back down, handing over the amber drink. “I guess it is a little out there. I just never really think about it. Really, I don’t leave very much so I don’t need to think about it.”
Truth was, the house was huge. There wasn’t a reason on earth for her to have a nearly-three thousand square foot cottage-style house in the middle of town. She’d only bought the thing because her accountant convinced her she could end up saving a ton off her taxes in mortgage deductions and home office deduction and all that sort of tricky tax-code business. Past that, she was still somewhat bewildered that he really didn’t have a clue who she was. So, instead of trying to explain it all, she just grabbed her phone.
“Cat video?” he asked with a half-smile.
If only you knew, she thought. If only you knew. “Not quite,” she said with a grin.
“Wait,” he said as the video began, and Lexie’s entirely overdramatic introductory scroll went past, complete with pyrotechnics and wild effects. “That’s you and that’s,” Lexie watched Blake’s eyes get just about as big as hers must’ve when he walked through the door, “a lot of people. Eight million? Watched... you?”
He looked over at her, partially entranced by the numbers rushing at his head and partially enamored at her smile and the dimple in her left cheek. “So that’s why you were so confused that I didn’t know who you were. I mean, I’m not that into... potholders? Holy shit, did you just throw that whole wad of yarn in the air?”
He honked a laugh, and a second later she joined him. “That’s what I do,” she said with a shrug.
