“Yeah. Okay.”
Carefully, he withdrew his hand and struggled to his feet. Alicia stood, too, pulling her shirt back down and running her fingers through her hair. He watched her, not moving, because once he did, he would get to his father’s bedside and maybe find out that he’d lost the only person on this planet who truly loved him. The man who had taught him how to be a man.
His father.
They silently took their skates off, and he buttoned up his shirt. After he grabbed his coat, Alicia reached out and entwined her fingers with his, much like he had done to her earlier, and squeezed reassuringly. “Don’t read too much into it. I just want to make sure you don’t fall.”
He locked eyes with her. “I can’t lose him, Alicia. I’m not ready.”
“We’re never ready, but you haven’t lost him yet. Don’t give up hope.” Avoiding his eyes, she grabbed her shoes, and he did the same. “Let’s go be with your father.”
He followed her, empty inside because he felt it, deep down…
It was too late.
His father was gone.
Chapter Fourteen
By the time they got to the hospital, Alicia’s heart was pounding and breaking simultaneously. Seeing the pain, the fear, in Leo’s eyes was tearing her in half, and she wanted to make him feel better—she just didn’t know how. Holding Leo’s hand in her lap, running her thumb over the back of his knuckles, she stole a quick look at him.
He stared out the window, blankly, at the hospital where his father had been taken. His possibly dead father.
If he was gone, Leo would feel a pain that she would never wish upon anyone, not even her biggest enemy. Losing her father had literally changed her life. It had ruined her. Destroyed her. And for Leo, not only would he endure the loss of a parent, but the loss of a ruler, too. He’d become a king. He wouldn’t have time to grieve, or suffer in silence.
He’d have to comfort a whole country instead.
Her heart hurt for him.
She covered their hands with her other one, ignoring the warning bells going off in her head when he clung to her as if she kept him grounded in the midst of all of this pain. “Shit,” he muttered. “The reporters are already here.”
She glanced past his shoulder, and sure enough, there were at least fifteen newsmen out there, with cameras and microphones primed and ready for him to get out of the car. “What do you want to do?”
He frowned, not speaking.
The glass dividing the driver from them rolled down, and the guard who rode up front said, “We’ll take you around the back, but there will likely be a few of them there, too. Will Ms. Forkes be staying in the car, or going inside with you?”
Leo looked at her, his brow furrowed. “I…”
After he drifted off, she squeezed his hand. “I’ll go in with you, if you want. For support. I’d like to be there for you.”
It wasn’t until she said the words, until she admitted that she wanted to go with him, that she realized how very true those words were. She didn’t want to go back to the castle alone, she wanted to be with him, by his side, supporting him. She wanted to put herself out there and trust, for once, that he hadn’t done all those horrible things.
That he was as innocent as she was.
His fingers flexed on hers, and she started to undo her seat belt. He covered her hand with his, smiling sadly. “You don’t have to do that.”
“But—” she started.
“Would you like us to take Ms. Forkes home?”
Leo glanced at her. She stared back, silently awaiting his judgment call, since it really wasn’t up to her. His father. His country. His decision. “Yes, please. We don’t need people asking questions about her…or digging into her past. It’s going to be zoo.”
And that hurt more than a slap to the face. He didn’t want anyone to wonder why he was hanging out with the orphan who’d run away from her foster home was basically what he was saying. He didn’t want anyone to find out who or what she was to him.
Because I’m not good enough for him.
I never was.
Swallowing hard, she turned away, instinctively hiding the pain his words caused her. She’d been prepared to be by his side if he needed her. He apparently didn’t, because he didn’t need anyone digging into her past. Because he was, what, ashamed of being associated with her?
The worst part was that he didn’t even know the half of what she’d had to do to survive. Had no clue she had to sleep in her car or eat every meal in soup kitchens, or how she begged for college scholarships, until she finally got one.
You name it, she’d done it.
And she’d do it all over again to get where she was today.
Well, maybe not exactly where she was.
But in her career, with her small apartment back in Harlem, with her cat and fish, which her neighbor was taking care of for her. All of it was hers, fair and square.
She’d fought for it.
And she’d won.
There was no shame in that.
They circled around the building in silence, and she purposely avoided looking at him again, because as much as he’d hurt her feelings by his rejection, and his refusal to be seen with her publicly, he didn’t need to know that. He had enough to worry about already. But it only drove home the fact that she was right to keep him at arm’s length and not to believe his soft promises and his warmly whispered feelings. When push came to shove, he’d leave her sitting in a car, or an airport, and he’d walk away.
Again.
When they stopped, the door opened and Leo slid out of the seat, releasing his hold on her instantly. The second he stepped outside the car and shut the door behind him, hiding her from view, flashes burst, and reporters shouted questions. He didn’t look back, just went into the hospital, his head lowered and his steps hurried.
And it felt like he took a piece of her with him.
The driver stepped on the gas, and within seconds, they were gone. Her throat ached, and her eyes burned, but no tears fell. The ride to the palace was short, and by the time they pulled up to the front door, Alicia was biting her nails, nervously awaiting news of Leo’s father, despite her inner turmoil. She hadn’t seen him since her arrival, but what she remembered of the man was good.
He’d been tall, with distinguished-looking salt and pepper hair. His blue eyes had always been lit with laughter, and he’d been proud of his son…as any father should be. Knowing what she did now, that he was a freaking king, of all things, only made her think more highly of him, because he’d never made her feel unworthy of his son.
Even though she was.
And Leo clearly knew it as well as she did.
When he finally married, or fell in love, it would be with a princess like Princess Gen-a-whatever. Not a girl like her who, more often than not, had red in her bank account instead of black. A girl who, for her whole senior year, had lived in her dead father’s car, showered in the girl’s locker room, and literally survived off cafeteria scraps and a kindhearted lunch lady’s compassion. She wasn’t a fit match for a man like him, no matter how many romantic, idealistic things he said.
And she’d best remember that.
She wasn’t Cinderella. People liked the fantasy in fairy tales. But this was real life, and it had just slapped her across the face yet again.
When will I learn?
The guard opened the car door, watching her closely. “Miss.”
“Thank you,” she said, making sure to stare directly at him. “Can you please let me know how the king is faring, once you hear?”
The man bowed. “Indeed. I’ll be anxiously awaiting updates, myself.”
“I’m sorry that he’s ill,” she said, wrapping her arms around herself. “He’s a good man.”
The guard shut the car door and led her forward with a soft hand on her lower back. “You spoke with him?”
“Many years ago, when he came to America.” She watched him out of the corner of her eye. “We me
t back then, Leo—I mean, the prince, and I. We spent a lot of time together in New York City.”
The guard eyed her with renewed interest. “How long ago was this, if you don’t mind my asking?”
“Ten years.”
“Interesting,” the guard said slowly, opening the front door for her.
She blinked. “What?”
“Nothing.” He cleared his throat and nodded at the people they passed as he led her to the stairs. “Nothing at all.”
They reached her door, and she gripped the knob. “Again, let me know when you hear something.”
“I’ll send word when I can.” He bowed at the waist, staying low for longer than he had before. “Miss.”
She nodded once then closed herself inside her room.
Alone. Again.
Covering her face, she sank down to the floor, leaving her back against the door as she waited. Time passed slowly, so slowly she was seconds from ripping her clock off the wall and checking the batteries. At some point, a servant knocked on the door with food, dropping it off for her to eat.
It was on the table, cold and congealed, and she sat in front of it, waiting. At half past ten, there was a soft knock, and she stood, stretching her sore muscles as she straightened, crossed the room, turned the knob, and ripped the door open. Expecting to see the guard she’d spoken to earlier, she was surprised to instead find Leo standing there.
His jacket was buttoned up all the way, and his pants were impeccably pressed, and on the outside he looked like the perfect picture of a flawless prince who didn’t have a worry in the world. But when she looked in his eyes, she saw a completely different picture. She saw the real Leo, the man who she’d known all those years ago as a boy, and he was calling out for help now. He was broken.
There were a million reasons why she should refuse to let him inside her room. He’d broken her heart, and if given the chance, he’d do so again. He was a prince, quite possibly a king, and she was just…well, her. He’d abducted her, forcing her to stay with him. And yet, he looked at her, eyes bloodshot and empty, and she did the only thing she could, because she could feel his pain.
He needs me.
And, deep down, she needed him, too.
So she stepped back, letting him inside.
He flexed his jaw, came into her room, and shut the door behind him, locking it. The second it closed behind him, he sagged against the wood, closing his eyes. “He was fine earlier. I’d talked to him on the phone before he took off. He was joking with me, and telling me, like usual, that I needed to get married, and he was…he was fine.”
Slowly, she backed up, putting a chair between them, as if that would somehow guard her heart, when it was already lying on the floor between them. All he had to do was pick it up and crush it in his fist to put an end to this. “Is he…?”
“After I left the hospital, I couldn’t think of anywhere else I wanted to be than with you,” he said, his voice raw and broken. When he opened his eyes and looked at her, she saw the answer to her question before he opened his mouth. She recognized that utter, complete look of loss, in his eyes. “I didn’t even get to tell him I loved him one last time before…before…”
His voice cracked, breaking off.
“He knows.” Swallowing hard, she closed the distance between them, one step at a time, knowing what would happen if she got too close but past the point of caring, because he needed her. “Believe me, he knows.”
He let out a strangled groan, covering his face, and without thinking, without letting herself question what she was doing or why, she closed her arms around his neck, hugged him close, and didn’t let go. No matter how many times she told herself she’d grown up stronger, wiser, and that she didn’t need him by her side…she was lying.
A part of her still loved him. Probably always would.
She’d give him everything he wanted.
All he had to do was ask.
Burying his face in her neck, he wrapped his strong arms around her, hugging her so tightly she might have heard a rib crack, but it didn’t matter. He clung to her like he’d never let go. All that mattered in this moment was helping him get through a pain she understood all too well.
A pain she wished he’d never had to feel.
“I’m sorry, Leo.” She kissed his neck gently, closing her eyes, tears sliding down her cheeks at his pain. “So, so sorry.”
He nodded, not speaking, just holding her for a while, and then he took in a deep breath and let it out. They didn’t move from their position at the door, and neither one of them spoke after that. By the time he loosened his grip on her, the sky had darkened even more, and there was quiet in the castle as the people inside it mourned.
He didn’t cry. Kings probably didn’t, but she had a feeling he was weeping uncontrollably on the inside. Holding him brought back the memories of her father’s death, and that gut-clenching sorrow tearing her apart. Leaving her lifeless and hollow.
Slowly she stepped back, lifting her eyes to his. He had bags the size of cotton balls under his eyes. And he looked so…so…lost. So she did the only thing she could think of to make this night a little easier on him, the only thing she could do, here and now. She finally stopped fighting the inevitable. Reaching up, she cradled his face gently, and rising up on tiptoe…
She gave him something to hold on to.
Her.
Chapter Fifteen
The second her lips touched his, all rational thought fled. He’d literally just been to hell and back, and that wasn’t even close to the end of this horrible ride. It was only going to get worse. He’d have to stand in front of a crowded room tomorrow with hundreds of cameras pointed on him, and he’d have to announce to the world that his father, the man who had raised him and loved him was gone. Just…gone.
How the hell was he supposed to do that?
How that hell was that fair?
Growling, he picked her up in his arms and walked toward the bed, refusing to stop to think this through. She’d kissed him this time, not the other way around.
And damn it all to hell, he needed this now more than ever.
Needed…her.
Laying her on the bed, he lowered his body over hers, never breaking off the kiss. Trailing his fingers up the outside of her thigh, he thrust against her warm heat, and buried his other hand in her hair. She wrapped her legs around his waist, holding him tightly against her, and slid her hand behind the nape of his neck as her tongue curled around his.
Her teeth pressed against his lip, and she undid his jacket with shaking hands. As she worked on undressing him, he broke off contact with her lips long enough to yank her shirt over her head, and her tank top, too. Within seconds, her bra and leggings joined them on the floor, and he had her naked before she even had his jacket off.
He shrugged out of it, and then took care of the rest of his clothing before finally taking in her naked body. Never in his life had he seen a more glorious woman, as if she were made especially for him. When he was with her, she filled an emptiness inside of him that he hadn’t even known was there until he held her in his arms again.
Mine.
So many years apart, so many missed opportunities to be together, so much fucking waste. Meeting her eyes for the first time since she kissed him, he opened his mouth, and closed it again. She looked at him as if she felt it, too.
The completion.
They locked gazes, and she bit down on her lip, nodded once, and opened her arms, answering his unasked question. He lowered himself over her perfection, hissing as her bare skin touched his in all the right places. Her eyelids drifted shut, and she buried her hands in his hair as his lips melded to hers. The way she fit against him, softness where he was hard, hollows where he was full, had never been so obvious to him before as it was now. She was made for him, always had been, and if there was a God in heaven, he would never have to lose her again.
“Alicia…” Closing his hands over her breasts, he deepened the kiss as he sque
ezed her nipples between his fingers, rubbing his hard cock against her. She arched her hips up, silently asking him to do what they both wanted—drive inside of her.
But she wasn’t ready.
Not yet.
Breaking off the kiss, he kissed a path down her body, pausing at her breasts. Covering one with his hand, he played with her nipple as he sucked the other in his mouth, scraping his teeth against it ever so slightly. She hissed and pressed his head closer, burying her fingers in the hair at the back of his neck.
He slipped a hand between her legs to slide inside her wet folds. Digging her feet into the mattress, she cried out and gripped the comforter underneath her, bunching it up.
Licking her inner thigh, he teased her, watching as she squirmed and her breaths increased. He cupped her ass and lifted her hips up. “Look at me.”
Her eyes drifted open, and she bit her lower lip.
“This isn’t just sex.” He tightened his grip on her, digging his fingers into her soft skin. She was less than an inch from his mouth, so he blew on her heated flesh. “Right here, right now, you’re mine, and I’m yours, and this connection between us is real. This is us, and you can’t say you don’t feel it, too. Don’t deny me again. Not right now.”
She took a deep breath, her breasts rising high, and nodded. “I feel it, too.”
In all the madness of the day, and all the pain, one thing hadn’t changed.
His feelings for her.
Lowering his head, he flicked his tongue over her, and she strained to get even closer to his mouth. Her responses nearly made him come on the spot. He thrust his tongue inside her, groaning at how damn good she tasted. A small, breathy cry escaping her as he fucked her with his tongue. The second her walls clamped around him and her body went lax, he let her hit the mattress. “Condom?” he asked, his voice strained.
She grabbed her purse off the nightstand, opened it, and pulled one out. He tore it out of her fingers and made quick work of rolling it on. As he did, she trailed her fingers over his abs, going lower and lower with soft, teasing caresses. By the time she closed her hand around him, his breaths were coming faster and harder, and he was seconds from losing control.
The Prince's Bride (Modern Fairytales) Page 12
