by B. Love
“Kannon?” Austin called softly as he headed to the door with Makayla.
“Wassup?”
“Can I call you daddy?”
Kannon looked at Makayla and she shrugged before looking back at Austin.
“Uh… I’m your godfather, so I’m like your daddy. Like a second daddy. Um…” He looked at Makayla again for assistance.
“Why would you like to call Kannon daddy, Austin?” Makayla asked.
“Because he does all the things for me that Cameron and Michael’s daddies do for them. But my daddy can’t do them because he’s not here, but Kannon is. So I’d like to call him my daddy.”
Kannon brushed a tear away quickly.
“Well, that’s up to Kannon, but I want you to remember that you do have a daddy who loves you and wishes he could be here to do those things with you. You’re pretty blessed to have both of them, and I think it’s sweet that you want to give Kannon that title and honor.” She looked at Kannon as she added, “What about GodDaddy? Is that okay?”
Kannon nodded, avoiding both their eyes. “Yeah, that’s cool.”
“What about you, Austin? Is GodDaddy cool with you?”
“Yes, ma’am. That works.”
“Good. Goodnight, baby.”
“Goodnight, Ma. Goodnight, GodDaddy.”
They both told him goodnight before leaving. As they walked down the hall, Makayla took Kannon’s hand into hers and nudged his shoulder slightly.
“How do you feel?” she checked.
Kannon released a shaky breath. “I don’t know. I wanted to tell him yeah, but I couldn’t do that to Jason.”
“I understand. We both know you’ve been like a father to Austin since he was born, so I’m not surprised that he made that connection between how you treat him and how his friend’s fathers treat them. I think with him finally meeting Jason he realized how big of a role you play in his life, and this was his way of acknowledging that.”
Kannon nodded, needing the hug Makayla pulled him into. That was the proudest moment of his life, and he hadn’t been able to bask in it fully because of his loyalty to Jason. He kept telling himself that it was best this way. But at this point, Kannon was getting tired of settling for less than he was sure they all deserved.
44
Carmen
Carmen knew she was drunk, but she had no one to call. Her life was spiraling out of control, and she had no one to blame but herself. She’d been bouncing around from one friend’s house to another, trying to stay low, because she knew when Kannon found her he would question her about the fire.
When she first set the plan up, she was supposed to be out of the city. But she wasn’t expecting Jaden to pull up with the police on moving day.
Times like this were when she hated and craved Kannon most. None of her friends were answering her calls, and she really needed someone to talk to. Deciding to go to Kendall’s grave, Carmen headed out to the cash car she’d purchased and put under a fake name. After dropping her keys three times, she finally got the car unlocked.
Once inside, she had a laughing spell when she couldn’t figure out how to get the key in the ignition. She was too fucking drunk. Instead of leaving right away, Carmen allowed herself to doze off briefly, hoping a quick nap would sober her up.
Carmen wasn’t sure how long she’d been sleep when the sound of banging on her window startled her awake.
“You can’t sleep here,” the older gentleman yelled. “Are you drunk?”
Her head shook as she tried to fully process his words. “What?”
“Do you have someone you can call? You can’t sleep here.”
“I’m fine,” she slurred, starting the car.
The man tried to open the door, but it was locked.
“Miss., let me call someone for you.”
Ignoring him, Carmen put the car in reverse as fear settled within her spirit. She wasn’t sure if it was the alcohol or being woken up out of her sleep that had increased her anxiety, but all she could think about was getting the hell up out of there. Not seeing the bed of the pickup truck behind her, Carmen ran directly into it.
“Fuck,” she yelled, putting the car in drive.
“Hoo! Hold up! Hold up!” the man yelled as she sped forward, ramming the side of another car.
“Shit! I can’t go back to jail,” Carmen determined, turning her wheel to the left and swerving out of the parking lot… only to have her side of the car rammed and pinned to a utility pole by oncoming traffic…
45
Makayla
Makayla kept smiling to herself. She couldn’t stop thinking about Kannon’s words. When he asked if he could take her out this evening, she asked why, and his response was that he wanted to give her what she deserved. He couldn’t have known what that meant to her after the situation with Nixon, but his thoughtfulness was much appreciated.
When they pulled up to Firebirds Grill, she smiled harder. She loved their Caesar salad. And when she did bite the bullet to have beef, she’d come here or to Redland’s for a tender steak. She waited until Kannon came to open the door for her, inhaling a deep pull of his fresh, crisp scent. Kannon hardly ever dressed up, but tonight, the black slacks and brand-new form fitting black tee he had on looked just fucking right. He’d even gone as far as to put on a pair of black loafers, and Makayla had a hard time not stripping him down before they left home.
There was something about a fine ass black man in all black or all white that did something to her, and with Kannon’s swag, it was taken to a whole other level. His hair was freshly shaved on the sides and back, and the top was freshly plaited. As always, his signature gold jewelry pieces adorned his neck, pinky, and wrist. He’d even put in his diamond nose stud for the evening.
It seemed like second nature for Kannon to take her hand as they crossed the street. And even though she wanted to tell herself it was the protector in him, Makayla knew that tonight… it meant more. Because he’d made a reservation, they only lingered in the waiting area for a minute or two before being seated. Ever the gentleman, Kannon helped her into her seat before taking his own.
“You look beautiful,” he complimented as soon as he sat across from her, making her smile and shake her head. “What? I’ve told you that already?”
Makayla giggled. “Yeah. Like six times.” Her smile settled. “But thank you, handsome. You look great tonight as well.”
“I knew you was gon’ be on your fly girl shit so I had to come correct.”
They smiled at one another for a few seconds before their waitress came to take their orders. While Kannon requested his usual Old Fashioned, Makayla chose Moscato. Even though she knew her fun level would be taken to another level if she got tipsy, she wanted to be completely sober to enjoy every second of their night together.
“Sooo…” Kannon’s grin made Makayla chuckle. “Tell me about yourself,” he requested.
“Kannon, you’ve known me for a good fifteen years. You know all there is to know about me.”
He shrugged. “I know the facts and what you allow me to see. But I wanna know you. What do you crave, fear, desire?”
She thought about it for a few seconds before saying, “I crave you. The ability to be with you freely more than anything. I fear not being able to reach my full potential and really live before I die. I desire a life of peace. What about you?”
It didn’t take Kannon long to think about it before he rattled off, “I crave a future with you. I fear allowing my loyalty to the streets to keep me from having the life I truly desire.” He paused. “I desire love, normalcy, family. The longer I have this faux family with you and Austin the more I question if I made the right choice to not settle down.” His head shook. “I know it was the right choice because it kept me from hurting or even losing a woman I’d fallen in love with… but…”
“Maybe you just needed a woman who understood and accepted the risk,” Makayla offered softly.
Kannon shrugged and sat back in his seat. “M
aybe.”
Their drinks were brought out, and they declined an appetizer, ordering what they always did when they came. Conversation between the two flowed freely. Kannon didn’t believe in lying, but he had some of the best improv she’d ever seen and heard. When he wanted to appear an expert on something, he’d have a whole spiel on why he was or who he knew. Somehow, their conversation had shifted to boats, and he swore he had one on a river in Mississippi but he couldn’t use it because his boating license was expired.
Makayla couldn’t remember the last time she’d laughed so much or felt so carefree, and she really enjoyed her time with Kannon.
When they left the restaurant, they headed downtown to listen to some live music. It didn’t surprise Makayla that the band that was playing at Silky’s knew Kannon, but it did surprise her when he went up and played the keyboard with them. For a second, she could only look at him with wide eyes and grin, but when they started playing one of her favorite songs, “Love and Happiness” by Al Green, she had to get up and dance.
When the song was over, Kannon headed over to her in the grassy area in front of the stage that had been designated as the dancefloor.
“I didn’t know you played,” Makayla confessed as he took her hands into his.
They began to Chicago twostep as he told her, “Yeah. I play quite a few instruments. My bonus room is filled with them.”
“Is that why you don’t let anyone in there?”
“Yeah. I let nothing taint that space. It doesn’t have a TV and I don’t even have my phone in there with me. When I’m in there, I just… wanna be able to lose myself in the music and nothing else.”
“So what all do you play?”
“Piano, bass, and drums.”
Makayla’s head shook in disbelief. “And I don’t be hearing a thing.”
“It’s soundproof.”
She chuckled. “Well this is nice. I learned something new about you.”
“Now you owe me one.”
Makayla thought it over for a few seconds, not even realizing the song had turned into a love ballad until Kannon pulled her closer. With her heels on, they were the same height, and it was something magical about her eyes being lined up with his, her nose being able to touch his, her mouth being so close to his…
“Should we be this close in public?”
His head shook. “Probably not.” Kannon pulled her closer, making her smile.
“So we risking it all tonight?” she asked through her chuckle.
“I’d risk it all every night for more moments like this with you.”
Makayla’s left hand slid down the back of his head before resting on his neck.
“We should really go, Kannon. Now.”
She didn’t know if it was the desire in her voice and eyes or what… but Kannon nodded and downed the rest of his drink before casually leading her through the crowd of people by her hand.
The ride back to their homes always seemed long, but it was agonizingly long tonight. She was tempted to have him pull over to the side of the road, but with how open Kannon had her, they would need all the space they could get.
Kannon didn’t even close the door of his home all the way before he was lifting her and putting her on his wall table. As he lifted her dress, she unbuckled and unzipped his pants. She pulled his shaft to her opening, biting back a moan as he lifted her legs and rested her ankles on his shoulders.
“I’ve been wanting you all fuckin’ day, Makayla,” he moaned, sliding into her just to pull his shaft back out. When he tapped it against her clit, she jumped each time before releasing a quiet growl. After sliding his head between her folds, Kannon swiftly entered her again… making her cry out as she gripped the table.
He repeated this process, stroking and tapping and sliding and stroking and tapping and sliding until her body was convulsing as she came. His orgasm snuck up on him, causing him to remove himself quickly and nut all over her pussy. With the first one out of the way, Kannon carried her to his bedroom for what Makayla was sure would be a long, pleasurable night.
46
Kannon
This… this was the kind of shit Kannon could get used to. Not only had Makayla woken him up with head, but she had also served him breakfast in bed. He didn’t think anything could top their night together, but their morning together was close to it. Pulling her onto his lap, he smacked and rubbed her ass as she rotated against his hardened shaft.
Makayla relieved him from his boxers before sliding down onto him. They both released quiet moans as she gripped the headboard behind him.
The sound of his phone ringing would have normally been ignored, but something told him to see who it was. He didn’t typically get calls this early in the morning unless it was about business.
“Shit,” he grunted, pulling down on Makayla’s hair as she tightened her walls around him. “You tryna make a nigga nut all in this pussy huh?”
She giggled, but her reply went in one ear and out of the other when Kannon realized it was Jason calling. Wrapping his arm around her waist to stop her movements, Kannon answered the call with, “You good, brotha?”
“A nigga more than good. I’m coming home…”
47
Makayla
November 2020
Today was the day. A day Makayla never thought would come. Jason was coming home. As happy as Makayla wanted to be over Austin finally being able to have a real relationship with his father, something wasn’t sitting right with her about the whole thing. She didn’t know exactly why not, but the feeling would make sure she was mindful of what was happening from this point forward.
Kannon had spent the night, but things weren’t sexual. Really, they just spent the night holding each other. Neither of them really got much sleep. There was too much on their minds and their hearts.
“I gotta head out to get him in a few,” Kannon informed, to which Makayla nodded and headed to the kitchen. Austin was seated on the bar stool eating his oatmeal and fruit. They both took seats on the stools next to him, and Makayla inhaled a deep breath as she considered what she was about to say.
“Hey, baby,” she called, gaining Austin’s attention.
When he looked over at her, Makayla smiled instantly. He looked so damn much like his father it was scary. From his skin tone and shape of his head to his eyes.
“You know how your daddy hasn’t been able to be around?” Austin nodded. “Well, that’s going to change really soon. He will be able to see you as often as you’d like, spend time with you, and really be in your life from this point forward.”
Austin looked over at Kannon before nodding and saying, “Okay, that’s great,” but there wasn’t much excitement behind his tone or his expression. He’d been really excited about meeting Jason a while back, but he’d settled into their routine of talking on the phone for a few minutes every other day.
“Are you excited?” Kannon asked.
Austin shrugged, then nodded his head. “I guess.”
Makayla chuckled. “I’m sure you’ll be excited when you see him and start spending time with him, but even if you’re not, that’s okay. Okay?”
He nodded again before shoving a spoonful of oatmeal into his mouth. Tickled by his unbothered attitude, Makayla rubbed his head before leaving him to his breakfast.
“I guess it’s good that he’s content with how his life is,” she started as they walked away. “But I’m a little worried about how this change is going to affect him. You’ve been the main male figure in his life. I hope this isn’t going to be too much for him.”
“We’ll make it a smooth transition no matter what. I know I’ll have to fall back so Jason can take his rightful place in both of your lives, but I’m going to make sure Austin knows I’m still his godfather and he will always have me.”
Gripping his wrist, Makayla stopped walking and turned Kannon in her direction.
“Jason doesn’t really have a place in my life beyond being the father of my child. You know th
at, right?”
He looked away. “Yeah.”
She chuckled before gritting and releasing her teeth. “That didn’t sound too convincing.”
Kannon rubbed his hands together as he looked at her silently for a few seconds. “I hear what you saying now, but all that shit will change when he gets out. No matter what we had building, Jason is the one you thought you’d spend the rest of your life with. If he wants his family back, ain’t shit I can do but let you have whatever your heart desires.”
“I told you that was you.”
“When we thought he was going to Cali, but he’s coming home now. Can you honestly say you’d be okay having a relationship with me now that he’s free?”
Her head hung briefly as she considered his question. She must have taken too long to reply because Kannon muttered, “Exactly,” before trying to walk away, but Makayla grabbed his hand and stopped him.
“I don’t want things to end between us, Kannon.”
“Neither do I, but I have to be a realist. We at least need to put things on hold to see how the both of you are going to feel.” He paused. “I’ve never wanted a woman to be hurt because of me and my lifestyle, but I ain’t tryna be hurt either. I don’t want to be invested in this and six months down the line you realize you want that old thang back with him. Take some time to really come to grips with who and what you want.”
“I know what I want,” she stressed, using his hand to pull him closer. “But I will honor your wish.”
“Thank you,” he muttered before placing a kiss to her forehead. “I’ll see you later, okay?”
Wrapping her arms around his neck, Makayla held him for as long as she could… afraid this hug would be the last hug before everything between them changed.
