“I don’t have to what? Forgive you? I just did.”
“No…you didn’t.”
He made a snorting noise. “Yeah. I’m pretty sure I did. You were desperate. I probably would have done the same. It took some guts. I understand. I will be kicking your brother’s ass when he comes back to town.” His fists clenched.
She gasped. “You can’t. He’ll kill you.”
Kai frowned. His eyes looked so dark and deadly. “He can’t afford a war with his own kind as well as the vampires. I’m going to at least get a punch or two in. He might beat me to death but I won’t stay dead. Fucker can forget that. He deserves to bleed, just a little. I will do my best to make sure it happens.”
“Don’t do it.”
“I carried you today didn’t I?”
“You looked half dead when we made it out.” She smiled, recalling how he struggled to catch his breath. How his brow had glistened with sweat.
“Point being. I made it.”
“Leave it alone. I won in the end even if the outcome isn’t exactly what I had in mind. I won’t let him force you into mating me. I won’t let him kill you either so you can tell your female that…”
“She’s not my female.” There was a rough edge to his voice. He shifted in his chair. “I mean, she’s my friend. It’s not like that.”
“Okay.” She couldn’t help the feeling of relief, or the smile that slowly blossomed on her face.
“I…” It looked like he was trying to find the words. “I…don’t think we can be together after…” His eyes widened. “I’m assuming it’s what you might want. I…damn…I’m messing this up.” He ran a hand over his face and huffed out a breath through his nose. “I’m here for you and the baby. I understand why you did what you did but I don’t think that we…I don’t have a female…Jordan isn’t my female but we can’t…”
“You don’t have to explain anything. I would totally understand if she was your female. I get it. It’s not like that. You don’t need to explain.” Disappointment rushed through her but she forced herself to smile. It had been lust…on his part. They didn’t know each other.
She kept playing back his words when they had said good-bye…after. When he had told her that their time was special. When he had suggested meeting her again. He hadn’t known she was in heat though. He had thought that their coming together was special but it was just the hormones and pheromones talking.
“I hope you’re okay with that?” He looked a little pained.
“More than okay. We’ll think of a way around my brother.” Blaze wasn’t about to change his mind. What was she going to do? She had a month to get him to think of something. The last thing she wanted was to force Kai to be with her. She could see herself with this male. She was just trying to recreate the fantasy she’d had for so many years though. Trying to hold onto the dream.
At least they would be friends. Her baby would grow up loved by both parents who liked and respected each other. Ruby could live with that.
Chapter 15
Ten days later…
Kai leaned up against her doorjamb. “Ready.” He could feel his smile was a mile wide. This had become his favorite part of the day.
Ruby nodded her head. “Yup. I really enjoy these walks.” Her cheeks reddened. She blushed every time she let slip that she was having a good time with him or if she gave him a complement of some sorts. It was so damn cute. As the mother of his child, he was allowed to think of her in that way.
For the last week, every day, after shift, he would pick her up and they would go for a walk around the gardens. Ruby enjoyed being outdoors. Or at least, she enjoyed being in wide open spaces. He also felt like she enjoyed his company. They were going to be okay…as parents of this baby…they were going to be just fine.
Walking side-by-side, they made their way downstairs, through the lobby and out through the big double doors. Vampires still stopped to stare but it wasn’t as bad as what it used to be. At least they waited until he and Ruby were out of earshot before discussing their situation. At least they no longer sniffed at her. It pissed him the fuck off when they did that. A part of him could understand the fascination, she was a species they had never seen before, but come the fuck on. He could see it made her feel uncomfortable. Kai had to work not to growl and snarl at the fuckers. They had no damned respect.
Her belly was a little more rounded. It’s didn’t look or feel any different than before. At least, Ruby said it didn’t feel any different. He hadn’t touched her belly again…even though he really wanted to. “How are you feeling today?”
Ruby shrugged. She frowned and looked away but not before he saw the look of concern appear on her face. “I feel good. Perfectly fine.” Her hand moved to her belly where she rubbed absently. “I can’t believe it’s taking this long. I was so sure…”
They had visited with the healers again twice and had gone through the same tests as before with no change. Becky cautioned them to remain optimistic. They had no idea what to expect. The way the pregnancy was progressing could be perfectly normal.
“The…I’m not sure…egg…little one…will come when he or she is good and ready. You’re doing great. You look great.” He allowed his eyes to move down her frame. Great didn’t even come close to describing how she looked. Fucking amazing was better. She wore another pair of leggings. Ruby seemed to enjoy wearing them. They clung to her legs like a second skin. Showcasing lush thighs and one of the sexiest asses he’d ever seen. Her top was gray. It was formfitting, but not quite. The neckline dipped ever so slightly, revealing just a hint of cleavage. It was tight around her belly with a bit of room everywhere else. It stopped short of her drool-worthy ass.
He really shouldn’t notice how good she looked. She had a spring in her step and a flush to her cheeks, so how could he not?
“Did you hear me?” She licked her cherry lips, drawing his attention to them. Big fucking mistake.
His cock twitched. “Yes.” Just because he didn’t want to mate her, didn’t mean he wasn’t attracted to her. It would complicate things if he…went there. “I mean, no I didn’t…I was thinking about something else.” Something I shouldn’t be thinking about.
She laughed. He enjoyed the sound of her voice. He enjoyed her company period.
“I said thank you. You don’t look so bad yourself.” She gave him the once over in much the same way he had done. “How was your shower?”
His hair was still wet. “Awesome.” Would’ve been better with you in it. Stop! It!
He caught her sweet scent and almost groaned. Thankfully they were outside, so it didn’t affect him as badly as when they were indoors. Ruby was attracted to him. That, or the pregnancy made her feel aroused. Maybe it was a bit of both.
He had done plenty of reading about pregnancy and had even discussed it with Eleanor in length. One of the things that had come up was that many females became aroused when pregnant. This was at least true for humans and even more so for vampires. Judging by the edge of arousal often attached to her scent, he would say that it was true for dragon shifters as well.
“Did you have a good day at work?” She seemed to genuinely care.
“It was fine.” He didn’t really want to talk about work so he gave the standard answer.
“Fine.” She laughed. “That means you hated every minute of it. Fine is a universal term used across languages, species, races, sexes…you name it…for not so great.” She pulled a face. “Are you having problems at work?”
“No. Not exactly.”
“Oh my word. You know everything about me…well…lots about me and I know nothing about you.” Then she looked like she was having a mini panic attack. “I don’t mean to pry or anything. You don’t have to tell me anything if you…”
He smiled at her. “You’re right. I’ve been assigned to help guard the human females who are a part of The Program.”
Ruby frowned. Her nose wrinkled just a little. It was adorable.
“That’
s The Program in which human females are paired with vampire males?”
He nodded. They had visited the clinic for Ruby’s last two check-ups. The facility had been set up especially for the humans to frequent. This included the humans taking part in The Program, as well as the humans mated to vampire males. Becky was in charge.
“Don’t you like humans?” She asked. “Are they difficult?”
“They’re fine. I don’t mind them.” His eyes travelled over the expanse of the lake. To an eagle that soared in the distance. Somewhere over the mountains…dragon territory.
She frowned. “Why do you hate your job then?”
“I don’t hate my job.” It was true, he didn’t hate it.
She licked her lips. “Let me phrase it differently. Why don’t you like it?”
What was he supposed to say? He didn’t want to upset her. By telling the truth he risked doing just that, but if he gave her some bullshit answer or refused to answer then, that would hurt her just as much. He took in a deep breath. “I used to be an Elite Guard. The elites are the best of the best. The mightiest of all the vampire warriors.”
“We also have such elite males. Only ours are called the Pinnacles. I understand why that would bother you. Why are you no longer one of these elite? Surely a strong male such as yourself would qualify?” Her eyes were filled with concern.
Despite the awkwardness of the situation, he felt proud she thought him big and strong. It was stupid to feel this way because he knew he was a fierce warrior. He liked that she had noticed though, especially since dragon shifters were so much stronger. They could breathe fire for fuck sakes. “I do qualify, at least, I did.” He mumbled. “Thing is, we are not permitted to rut with humans…I ended up being kicked off of the team. What happened was—”
Her face turned red. “You…oh…you don’t have to tell me anything…I…” She immediately assumed that he had rutted a human and gotten himself kicked out.
“No, you misunderstand. I was a part of the elite team, as well as The Program but we were only permitted to interact with human females within The Program. I took part in the previous heat but didn’t end up with any of the humans. I was then assigned to transport several of the humans back to Sweetwater. Let’s just say that when I got back to the castle…” His hand went to the back of his neck. His muscles always tightened up when he was feeling a little anxious. “It was clear that…”
“You really don’t have to explain.” She waved one of her arms and stopped walking. “It’s none of my business. We’re not a couple, we’re…”
He couldn’t do it. Kai couldn’t bring himself to tell Ruby that the so called human, had been her. That she was ultimately the reason he had been thrown from the Elite Team. “It was one of those things that just happened and if I’m honest with myself, I’m angry about it. I have made peace with it though.” He looked her in the eye and she nodded. “I don’t dislike being a human guard but I’m an elite.” He sucked in a deep breath. “I am working on getting back in. I’ve started going to practices again. There are practices held for vampires that wish to become an elite. They are grueling. Many males drop out within the first few days and many more within the first few weeks. Does it irritate me that I have to start over when I’ve already proven myself? Yeah, it does but I’ll get back in.”
“You’ll make it.” Ruby began walking again. “You seem determined.”
“Yeah…I don’t know about right now though. I’m struggling a little.” Why the fuck had he said anything?
Her brows pulled together. “Why? It won’t be easy but if you did it before, surely you could do it again. Are the males trying out with you suddenly bigger or better? Are they stronger?”
“No way.” He blurted before he could stop himself. Kai cared about what she thought of him. Whether he liked it or not, he cared.
“I don’t understand. Why are you struggling then? If you’re strong and fierce for a vampire, and if you have done it before then surely you can do it again? It should be easier for you and not more difficult.” She said this matter-of-factly and she wasn’t entirely wrong.
“You see…” How did he explain this to her? “Vampires have basic needs. As warriors, we need to have these needs met in order to stay at optimum fitness and strength. I’m not getting everything I need right now. I’m managing to hold my own but I doubt it’s enough to secure a place.”
“That’s crazy.” Once again they stopped walking and she turned to face him. “Take what it is that you need then. Our males need balanced diets and plenty of red meat. They also make sure that they get a full nights rest before practice days. I just wish my brother would listen to me because they would be so much stronger if…” Her eyes widened.
He could see by her facial expression she knew exactly what he was talking about when he said needs. “Yeah well, it seems our species do have similarities after all.”
“It would seem that way. You shouldn’t deny yourself on my account.” Ruby looked him straight in the eye, she seemed completely relaxed. Like the thought of him with another female didn’t bother her in the least. It was moments like this that he was reminded that he had been nothing more than a seed donor. Yes, she had thought of him as a prime specimen but she may as well have been choosing a prize stallion or a dress to wear.
“Yeah. You’re right. I’ve been taking blood from Jordan. She’s still not speaking to me, even though she lets me drink from her. It’s a bit of an awkward situation. It would help things if I just took a female. Are you sure it wouldn’t be a problem for you? I don’t want you be upset or stressed or…”
“Nah…” She huffed out a breath. “I’m sorry to hear about your friend still being upset with you. You need to do what you need to do. It wouldn’t bug me at all.”
****
It would be terrible.
She would hate it.
Ruby had no right to block him. They weren’t together. She could see that being a part of this Elite Team meant a lot to him. The pride that shone in his eyes when he spoke about it was easy to see. His whole face lit up when he talked about going to practice again. It would be wrong if she made him deny himself. Ruby knew that if she asked him not to, he would listen to her. He would agree. Kai cared about their baby. He didn’t want her upset.
It took everything in her to remain calm. He smiled at her and she smiled right back. Despite their conversation and the feeling of unease it had brought, the smile came easily. An automatic response. It was quick to falter when she remembered what they had been talking about, so she looked away.
“It’s just such a strange situation. We’re not together.” He made a snorting sound. “We hardly even know each other and yet you are carrying my child. I always thought that I would be mated to the female who carried my young. It does not seem right for me to spend time with another female.”
Ruby licked her lips, again she was tempted to tell him not to do it then but she couldn’t be selfish about this. Kai had made it clear he didn’t want to be with her. She was surprised he was being so…good about the whole thing. “You need to do what you need to do. I’m not going to stop you.”
She must have completely misread his facial expression because he actually looked disappointed. Then he kicked some dirt up from under his boot. “Okay then. It’s settled.”
A yell in the distance drew their attention and they began to walk that way.
Some males were throwing a ball to one another. Sounds of their grunts, yelling and laughter filled the air. As they neared the action, Kai changed places with her, ensuring that he put himself between her and the cavorting males.
“You throw like a pussy.” One of the males yelled to the other. He bent down to pick up the ball.
“You couldn’t catch if your right nut depended on it.” One of the others shouted. He cupped his hands around his mouth as he yelled. The same male turned his stare to Kai. “Hey, bro. Join in. I’m sure your female wouldn’t mind sitting down for a few minutes and ta
king a break. She can watch you in action.”
Your female.
Hearing the male call her that caused her heart to beat just a little faster.
“Maybe next time.” Kai growled back, but she could see by the way that he was watching the game that he really wanted to join in.
“Come on, Kai. You’re no damned fun anymore.” Another male yelled.
“Shut up, Jenson or I’ll be forced to kick your ass.” Kai growled.
“Aren’t you going to introduce your female to us?” The same male asked.
“No,” Kai growled.
“Get over here.” The first male yelled as he threw the ball at Jenson who caught it easily.
“Go on.” She urged, giving him a nudge with her elbow. “I’ll be fine. I wouldn’t mind a little break.”
“Are you sure?” His brows were raised. “I don’t have to.”
“Go, have some fun. I’ll sit over there. Far out of the way.” She smiled, gesturing to a fallen log on the edge of the forest.
He nodded, looking excited. “I won’t be long. Here…” He pulled his shirt up over his head. “Take this.”
Her mouth became so dry she could only nod in response. She’d seen plenty of well muscled males but for some or other reason, seeing Kai with his shirt off did things to her insides. Sometimes, when in the dragon form, she would close her wings and dip her nose down towards the earth in a freefall. It would feel like her insides were being left behind for a few seconds. There would be a lurching feeling as they returned to her body.
She was experiencing that same lurching feeling right now. Deep down in her belly. Kai gave her a half smile before turning and jogging to where the males were throwing the ball. Even his back was well muscled. His…backside was a thing of beauty. Meaty and full. She thanked the heavens for superhuman eyesight as she watched each cheek tighten with each heavy footfall. She huffed out a breath she hadn’t even known she’d been holding.
A Mate for Kai (The Program #6) Page 15
