by Jill Shalvis
"Please don't hurt my feelings on this," she said in that quietly devastated voice all mothers have perfected.
Guilt. Dammit. "You made the plans without consulting me."
"Because you won't make plans for yourself! Your divorce has been final for five years, Colin. Five years. Move on. Please, darling. For me. Move on."
The pain that slashed through him had nothing to do with his ex-wife. Lord, he needed a major pain killer. A bottle of them. Instead, he lifted another part of his advanced scale and ran a knowing finger over the trouble spot—the laser shaft. Complex plans for repair tumbled in his head.
"I'm simply trying to better your life."
He could think of several ways to do that, starting with leaving him alone. Especially since with or without this project he was currently obsessing over, he would never again "better his life" with another female. "Save yourself the trouble, Mother."
"But I want to die in peace."
He rolled his eyes. Great. Now the death speech, when she was healthier than anyone he knew and likely to outlive him by thirty years.
"Just one night," she urged. "That's all I'm asking. Maybe she's the one…"
"No." He stretched his long, cramped legs over the top of his cluttered desk. No one was the one. No one ever would be again. "I've been trying to tell you, I have a good reason for not wanting to date."
"Oh, no," she whispered, horrified. "I knew it! I knew it wasn't safe to let you play with dolls when you were younger!"
"Mother…"
She groaned theatrically. "Oh, no. Oh, no! How am I supposed to get grandkids now?"
He wisely contained his laughter. "No, Mother, that's not it. I'm … engaged."
The silence was deafening. "Mother?"
"To whom?" she asked weakly.
"Her name is Lani Mills."
"What does she do?"
"She runs her own cleaning business."
"Oh." She thought this over. "Does she love you?"
Colin wasn't sure he knew the meaning of the word. Still, he remembered how wide- and wild-eyed his little cleaning lady had got when he'd removed his shirt. He hadn't thought he could be sensual standing in his own kitchen doused in cleaning fluid, but the way she'd looked at him had certainly put a spin on things. "She's … crazy about me," he said.
"Colin, are you sure? Really, really sure? I mean if she doesn't totally love you, then—"
"I thought you wanted me married," he teased. "Well now I have a fiancée, so no more dates! In fact, no more calls about dates. No more making other people call me about dates. Okay? Tell everyone."
"She's the one for you? You're sure? How do you know?"
Lani was quirky. Sweet and kind and exceptionally patient. After knowing her for one year, Colin knew she was a positive ray of sunshine that he usually tried to avoid at all costs, because to see someone so happy … it hurt in a way he didn't quite understand.
They were polar opposites and therefore, no, she was most definitely not the one for him. But he had to do this, had to be left alone to finish the project. His work was everything, it meant the difference between life and death to others.
It also meant a lie to someone he cared about, his mother. "I'm sure," he said quietly.
"But…"
She wasn't going to let this go and he knew this was because she blamed herself for his own last failure. He couldn't let her do that again. "I'm sure because—" he glanced out his window and saw Lani's small car parked there "—we're staying together," he improvised.
"You mean you're living together?"
"Yes," he said, sealing the lie with yet another, hating how he felt about the deception. "I have to go."
"Wait! I want to meet her. Your aunts will want to meet her, and, oh, damn, we've got a flight out in the morning. No problem," she said, quickly reversing herself. "We'll cancel. Your father can wait. We have to come stay with you, of course, for at least two weeks, that's how long we'll need to get to know Lani, and— Colin, don't you dare hang up on me."
Two weeks, good Lord. "Gotta run, Mother. I'll let you know when Lani and I set a date."
"Colin! You hang up on me and I'll come right now, I swear."
The threat wasn't an idle one, he knew she'd do it. "Mother … Lani and I need time alone, to…" To what? How was this backfiring when he had it all planned out? "We need to get to know each other," he said quickly.
"Fine. I'll give you two days, I really can't just stand your father up, he'll pout. But I'll be back after New York." Excitement made her voice shrill. "I'm so thrilled—we have a wedding to plan! Can you imagine the fun? See you in a few days!"
Colin stared at the phone when it clicked in his ear.
Irene West was coming here. In two days. For two lifelong weeks.
Suddenly it hit him. His fictional fiancée had just become—he had to swallow hard to even complete the thought—a real fiancée.
The implications were mind-boggling. Lani would have to stay here, pretend to love him.
Sleep in his room.
He couldn't imagine she'd be willing, which brought him to another thought. Why had she agreed to this in the first place?
It wasn't as though they were friends, he hardly knew her.
Oh, God, his mother was coming.
This hadn't just backfired, it had blown up in his face.
* * *
Colin clicked away at his keyboard, pretending he didn't have time to face the mess he'd created.
Which he didn't.
"Sorry to interrupt." Lani poked her head in the door. She looked at him with those huge baby-blue eyes, framed by a golden halo of hair precariously perched on her head. "I'd like to get in here to vacuum and dust, if that's okay with you."
Colin found himself staring rudely, but he couldn't seem to help it. It was as if he was seeing her for the first time, though it'd only been an hour since he'd asked for her help. She was lovely, startlingly so. How could he not have noticed before?
She'd also saved his life.
What kind of a person was so willing to help?
He didn't know another soul who would have done so. Uneasy with that thought, and irritated that he'd needed her help in the first place, Colin stood and walked around his desk to meet her. "You're not interrupting. But there are some things we should go over, if you don't mind." Some things? It was laughable.
How to ask her if she was willing to put the entire charade on yet another level and attempt to fool the nosiest, most meddling, well-meaning mother that had ever lived?
Lani's eyes widened slightly as he moved toward her and Colin slowed, realizing she probably considered him a certifiable nutcase.
He would just insist he pay her extra, over and above her cleaning fees, which had always been surprisingly low anyway. He'd yet to encounter a woman not susceptible to his money.
"You … didn't put on another shirt," she announced breathlessly.
He'd forgotten. He still smelled like pine, but then again, so did she. Her gaze was plastered to his chest. Her cheeks reddened, but she didn't stop in her curious perusal of his entire body.
He felt curious, too, though it wasn't as easy for him since she was fully dressed. A strand of her long hair hung in her still-flushed face. The baggy, shapeless, drab-colored clothes she always wore completely hid her figure, but judging from the lack of meat on her arms, she was a bit scrawny.
Definitely not his type, he thought wryly. Thank God. To have been attracted to her would have made this whole situation all the more impossible to deal with. "I have a bit of a problem," he said.
She blinked, stopped staring at his chest, and went still. "You don't need me anymore?"
"Ah … not exactly."
She shot him a smile then, and it was a stunner. At the impact, he lost every thought in his head and then had to reassess the whole not-being-attracted-to-her thing.
"We need to set a date?" she asked.
"Worse." He braced himself. "We need to live to
gether."
"Before the wedding?"
"It won't get that far," he said fervently.
"No … wedding?"
Uh-oh. She sounded shocked … disappointed. "This is just for pretend," he said slowly. "Remember?"
She laughed and quickly turned away, hiding her face. "Of course. It's just that I thought … never mind. Excuse me … I've got … something to do."
"Lani?"
"I'm sorry. I've got to go." She ran out of the office.
* * *
Chapter 3
« ^ »
Colin stared at the empty doorway of his office. What had just happened? No way had Lani misunderstood. He'd made it clear that this engagement wasn't real.
Hadn't he?
Running back through the conversations in his mind, he went still. Yes, he'd made it clear it was all for show, but had he let her think there would really be a wedding?
Swearing, Colin went after her, grabbing a shirt on his way, but he was a split second too late. Both Lani and Carmen were gone, speeding down the driveway in her noisy can. Colin grabbed his keys and raced out into the searing heat after them.
Having no idea where Lani lived, he broke several traffic laws trying to keep up with her. And when they crossed the train tracks, bringing them into an undesirable neighborhood, Colin hoped Lani was just dropping off Carmen. She was, but as he again followed Lani, he realized she also lived in this area.
He waited until she'd gone into a rundown fourplex, then followed her. He knocked softly on her front door, which was ajar, but she didn't answer so he let himself in. Her place was stiflingly hot. Colin didn't know how people lived in Southern California without air-conditioning, and he hated that Lani had to.
But once he was inside the apartment, he found it much lighter and roomier than he had expected. There wasn't much in the way of furniture, but the small living room was clean and appealing.
He found her in the tiny kitchenette and when he said her name softly, she jumped, a hand over her heart.
"You need to lock your door," he admonished. "For safety…"
"I'm safe here." She turned away and tossed a sponge into the sink. For a brief second, before she flipped on the water, her small, calloused hands gripped the counter tight. "Why did you follow me?"
"You left before we were through."
"I didn't see what else we had to discuss."
So hurt. Dammit. "Lani—"
"What a fool I am, huh? I mean I knew it was going to be for pretend, but I thought we were going to actually do it, for pretend. How dumb! It was ridiculous to think—" She let out a painful laugh.
God, he hated the helplessness that swam through him. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you."
"You're so far out of my league, I should never have—" She broke off and her shoulders sagged. Strands of wild, curly hair hid her expression, but he could picture it well enough. Devastated. Humiliated.
Leaning around her, he turned off the water, his mouth forming explanations and apologies. In the confinement of the tiny kitchen their bodies brushed against each other. His arms surrounded her, whether he intended them to or not. It couldn't be helped. The insides of his biceps grazed the sides of her breasts and, completely without logic, his body hardened.
Silence reigned.
Lani faced him at last, her hands behind her, gripping the counter tight. Now their bodies no longer touched, but a mere inch was the only thing keeping them from an embrace. If she so much as breathed, Colin knew Lani would feel his illogical response to her. The pine scent coming from the bib of her wet, baggy overalls was overpowering, but beneath that, he caught the scent of Lani, sweet and sexy.
"I always prefer to be alone when I'm making a fool out of myself," she said so quietly he had to dip his head close to hear her. "Maybe you could just go away and pretend today never happened?"
"You're not the fool, I am," he assured her grimly, tipping her face up so he could torture himself with her hurt eyes. "I did ask you to marry me, I just never intended to actually have to do it. It sounded so simple in my head," he said, bewildered. "I have no idea how it got so crazy."
"I see."
No, she didn't. She couldn't. "I told you how I wanted you to pretend to be my fiancée to placate my family and well-meaning acquaintances so they'd leave me alone to work."
"Yes."
It seemed so ridiculous now, and feeling a little embarrassed himself, he offered her a small, tight smile. "I told you also that they have a habit of matchmaking. If they thought I was taken, they'd have to stop. And then I could finish my project."
"Yes, I understand."
"You do?"
She smiled tentatively, which gave him pause. It was one thing to recruit a woman to lie for him, quite another to tease one. He dated only occasionally, and he consistently chose women who were looking for no more, no less than what he was willing to give.
Somehow, he couldn't picture this little waif of a housecleaner being interested in a quickie affair with him. She seemed more like the kind of woman who played for keeps.
And while he wanted everyone off his back, he absolutely did not want to be playing games with someone he could inadvertently hurt. Had inadvertently hurt. There could be no attraction between them, none at all.
"So you do still need a fictional fiancée?"
"Yes," he said.
She nodded slowly. "But no wedding date."
"God, no."
"I see." A light eyebrow raised. "You wouldn't want to get stuck with the hassles of a real relationship."
Not ever again, he thought with a shudder. "It's not necessary in this case. But…" he sighed, "I just found out my mother is coming in two days to meet my fiancée. She'll want to stay at my house and get to know the woman."
"Oh. So now you need a live-in fictional fiancée."
"Yeah."
"Well." Lani flashed him a hundred-watt smile, which quite frankly dazzled him blind and left him decidedly unsettled.
This was a business arrangement, he reminded himself. No reason for her smile to alter his pulse. Hormones had no place here.
"I understand now," she said.
"Will you do it?"
She looked at him, surprised, then reached out and squeezed his hands. "You can wipe that frown off your face, Colin. I don't go back on my word."
The easy forgiveness startled him. So did the physical contact. Not only because she was surprisingly warm, but because he wasn't used to being touched for absolutely no reason at all. He came from a family of firm non-touchers.
His father had never touched him, unless of course he had been tearing the hide off Colin for taking apart an appliance or blowing up the garage with his biology experiments. His mother wasn't a toucher, either, she had been too busy running everyone's life or traveling.
As a result, Colin himself rarely touched anyone, certainly not for no reason at all. Which didn't explain why he'd done exactly that earlier when Lani had first arrived at his house.
Suddenly Lani danced away, frowning and shifting uncomfortably, plucking at her clothes. The air hissed out between her teeth and she looked pained.
"I've really got to get out of this shirt."
Before he could blink, she unhooked the two shoulder straps of her overalls and shoved the bib to her waist. She was still amply covered in that shapeless, huge T-shirt. Colin didn't blink. After all, he knew exactly how that cleaner felt against skin. It hurt like hell.
No problem that she appeared to be stripping down in front of him, in a kitchen so small he couldn't breathe without nearly touching her. He wasn't attracted to her, not in the least.
Besides they were going to be living together. He could handle this.
"Darn it," she murmured, still wiggling and rubbing her chest, bumping into him with every little shimmy. "Darn it all." And with that, she ripped the T-shirt over her head, revealing a tight, cropped tank top. She closed her eyes with a dreamy sigh. "Yeah, that's better. Whew! That st
uff burns after a while."
Colin opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out. Her elbows brushed his chest as she lowered her arms, her thighs bumped into his. Now his jeans were beginning to cut off circulation, belying his self-assurances that he didn't find her attractive.
How could he have known that beneath her awful, huge clothes, his cleaning lady/fictional fiancée had been hiding a body to die for?
"I think I burned my skin in a couple of spots." With her head bent, her silky hair slid over his arm as she stared down at herself.
Colin stared, too. She was slender yet wildly curved, and he wished she would pull her overalls back up.
She drew a deep breath and opened her eyes, smiling at him in relief. "You didn't tell me how much better that felt!"
Speech was impossible. Her overalls had dropped to just below her waist, so he had a front-row view of her smooth, very flat stomach, her slim but curved hips, the outline of her firm, high, unencumbered breasts.
Good Lord. No doubt in his mind, he was attracted to his cleaning lady.
To his fiancée.
She flashed that brain-cell-destroying smile again. "You okay?"
He wasn't sure. He couldn't think. He remembered a bawdy joke he'd been told, about how men had both a brain and a penis, but only enough blood to operate one at a time. He believed it now. "Uh-huh. I'm fine."
"So we're going to live together to prove we're a loving couple."
A loving couple. Damn, but that was terrifying. Unable to help himself, he looked at her again, and felt his body's surging response. She was one of the sexiest women he'd ever seen. And he was going to live with her. "We have to fool my mother, never an easy thing," he said a bit hoarsely. He cleared his throat. "She has eyes in the back of her head, and…" at her questioning look, he sighed again, loudly, "she thinks we've been living together already."
Her gaze widened briefly, then ran over his body once before she swallowed hard. "Well," she said.
"Yeah. Well."
They stared at each other, awkwardly. Colin couldn't get past her easy forgiveness, her willingness to want to help him. Or her huge, expressive eyes.
