by James, Ranay
“Would you have come if you had known Jesse and Lilly were gone for the weekend? Probably not?” He did not let her answer. It was his way of justifying his sin of omission knowing she would have said no.
“Hum, probably not, no.” She shook her head. She briefly hesitated in her answer, Josh noted, telling him more than her words. It pleased him. She was losing ground where he was concerned. That was a good sign.
What was more the truth was she, too, was not totally convinced she would have said no, surmising it was probably a good thing she had not known in advance. At least this way the weekend could unfold more naturally without any preconceived expectations on either of their parts.
“Are you sorry you came,” he asked not giving her time to answer before kissing her again, his hands around her waist stopping just short of her breast. He was killing her. His game of seduction was either masterfully planned or totally innocent. Either way she was losing.
He turned her loose only to keep the eggs from burning. “Think carefully, Doc, before answering.” He looked much like the cat that ate the canary.
He knew her answer as he gave her a knowing smile. Damn his hide, she thought smiling back at him. He could be so easy to live with and even easier to love.
She playfully thumped his shoulder noting he was solid under that plane white t-shirt. “It is before seven in the morning, too early to think, Josh. I’ve not even had a full cup of coffee, so you are not playing fair. And if that weren’t sufficient to keep my brain from engaging, a weapon like that kiss of yours is. It is lethal. No girl could possibly think straight once you unleash it.” If he had not looked triumphant before, he did now, she thought. “However, before you go and get too cocky, I have some weapons of my own, so just beware and consider yourself warned, Lawman.”
“Care to test them out? I’ve heard it told I’m ten foot tall and bullet proof,” he challenged wiggling his eyebrows and giving her a look hot enough to melt an ice cap.
“Eggs are the only things I’m interested in checking out. Now, flip that omelet before it burns,” she said while shoving the spatula back into his hand. Turning him back to the stove, she playfully swatted his ass admitting inwardly the statement about the eggs was not entirely true. There were several things of Josh’s she wanted to check out. His library was just one, and that was about third down on the list of priorities.
Secretly, he was relieved. He was not in a big hurry this morning, simply enjoying her on an intimate level separate from a sexual one. Since he had all weekend, he did not feel rushed to consummate his relationship with this beautiful, fair-haired pixy with supernatural powers. Before he met her, he could never have envisioned himself with someone like her.
Now, he could not envision himself without her.
He wanted to leisurely explore and get to know the many facets of this woman. So, he was prepared to take his time and do this one right because if his hunch was correct she could be The One.
However, food was his first priority for the moment, but only after a fresh cup of coffee which he hoped would be enough to keep him coherent for another couple of hours. Besides, the last thing he really wanted was to make love to Jamie for the first time fresh off a full night of patrol. Never at his best after working nights, he doubted his performance would even be noteworthy, much less stellar. He was dead on his feet and wanted to be able to give her one hundred percent, and he would, if given the right opportunity.
He thought about his plan as he finished the eggs. His goal to win her over was a simple three-tiered approach.
First, he was going to spoil her.
Second, he would satisfy her both emotionally and physically, thereby ruining her for any other man except him.
The last would be more difficult. He had to earn her trust, not as a bodyguard or self defense coach. That he had already accomplished. He had to earn her trust as a man who wanted to love her and spend his life with her, and he was afraid that would never happen unless he managed to get her to let her guard down. Getting through those walls was something he had not managed to do with much success, if any.
He was not sure he had ever met a woman as guarded as Jamie. That fact alone pulled at his interest. It was as if she was hiding something, but he could not imagine what that something could be. She seemed so open in all other aspects.
He had no doubts he could satisfy her. He was confident in his physical prowess, but knowing a solid relationship was built on more than just great sex, he was relieved to discover they had a great time together outside of the physical realm. Finding easy camaraderie and lots of common interests, their relationship was much smoother lately, much to his relief. Great sex would just come naturally between them, he felt sure.
Spoiling her was another matter. Unlike most of his other McKinnon relations, he was not wealthy. The dust bowl of the twenties and the depression of the thirties along with his grandfather’s prolonged illness had taken much of the family fortune.
Jacqueline had cleaned him out the rest of the way both emotionally and financially before she left him. However, he remained undaunted. Financially he was holding his own, managing to amass a tidy nest egg, but he was gaining it the hard way. He never gave a thought to his lesser financial standing in the clan, and before Jamie came in to his life, it had never concerned him that he was not rolling in dough. Making Forbes top ten listing of eligible, wealthy bachelors was never high on his list of priorities. He made a decent living off his investments. His salary from the county provided him and Jesse a comfortable lifestyle. Jesse’s trust would pay for her larger items such as a car and college. They did most anything they wanted to do within reason.
However, as much as he might wish to, he was not in any position to give Jamie the world. The other McKinnon men could and had for their wives.
He guessed that was what a man in love desires for his lady and he did love Jamie, growing more deeply with each passing day. He wanted to give Jamie the world and her heart’s desires, yet he knew there were ways to spoil her that were relatively inexpensive in the grand scheme of things. Those would cost him time and effort both of which he was happy to expend on her behalf.
He was shaky on the third prong of the attack, at a total loss, truthfully. Much to his surprise it was Chase, his wild and womanizing cousin, who gave him the best advice in her regard. Chase told him just to be himself. The trust would come or it wouldn’t.
Maybe Chase was right?
However, being himself had earned him several severe tongue-lashings and a seriously cold shoulder on more than one occasion. All were well deserved, too. There was no point in his trying to rationalize, shift blame, or deny it. McKinnon men were famous for acting like royal jackasses in the early stages of a meaningful relationship where their women were concerned. He had seen it in Cullen, Gage, Mason, Robert, and now himself. However, once McKinnon men reconcile their feelings and admit their hearts are goners, they settle in for the long haul making great husbands and fathers.
He would, too.
He had never liked the playboy lifestyle, which Chase engaged wholeheartedly. He was meant to be buried bone deep in domestic bliss. He always did love the fact there was someone to come home to each night, and since his divorce he had missed that feeling.
He was quickly coming to terms with his heart’s choice. Jamie was a good fit for him. He just had to have the opportunity to make her see what it could be like. It would be a good life together.
She had feelings where he was concerned, he knew that much. He did not have a clue how deeply she felt for him. If her response to him this morning was any indication, he stood more than just a fighting chance. Getting her to admit those feelings was probably going to be another story entirely. However, he was in no hurry on this one. He wanted to do it right.
He also knew, as much as it chapped his ass, she was seeing Trey who, unlike him, could afford to give her the finer things of life. It was Barbara, ever the levelheaded one, who pointed out that Jamie was
not the type of woman who required costly toys or bling and for him let the bank account competition with Trey go.
Barbara also wisely convinced him she should always be the third wheel for those dates with Trey, never him, which was probably for the best. It made him crazy when he knew she was out with the guy even if it was casual dating. It was still competition, and his inner male animal was revolting knowing another male was encroaching into his desired territory. It did not matter Jamie was clueless to this fact.
It was fortunate Trey had kept his hands to himself. Other than a few chaste pecks on her cheek, the dates were amiable. Most conversations were centered on advice in renovations to her house to keep it in the Frank Lloyd Wright motif. Barbara said she was sick of seeing carpet swatches, paint pallets, and fabric samples. The dates were innocent at least where Jamie was concerned.
It was just as well, Josh thought.
He was sure it would not be a pretty picture for either of the men vying for her attention should Trey get any closer. Jamie would most certainly give them both a piece of her brilliant and beautiful mind.
Armed with the knowledge, he kept his thoughts and desires close to the vest. It would just push her further away if he demanded she not see anyone except him. And moreover, he really had no right to ask, not that it mattered. He still hated the thought of her with someone else, and that was something he was going to change.
He vowed, before this weekend was up, he would ask for that exclusivity. By Sunday afternoon Jamie would be his in more ways than just the physical.
He, weeks ago, admitted begrudgingly to Robert and Barbara, he was no longer able to keep his professional distance and objectivity where Jamie was concerned. Now, he was wondering if he ever had been able to keep a professional mindset from the moment he walked through her examination room doorway.
“Josh? What’s going on up there?” Jamie tapped his temple. She was fascinated as she watched his face and body language go through a series of changes in just a matter of moments. There were no walls for this man where she was concerned, making her feel guilty that she was still so closed off to him.
Josh brought himself back to the moment. Taking the eggs off the burner, he turned to her running his fingers through her hair. Settling his palm at the nap of her neck and pulling her close she felt relaxed, warm, and soft there in his arms.
“Right now I have several things on my mind, Love. I'm thinking you, me, a warm fire, soft pillows, and even softer music, chocolate covered strawberries, wine, and this for starters.” He finished by leaning in, capturing her mouth. Kissing her softly, he loathed releasing her as they stood close together in the kitchen flooded with morning light. Her soft unconscious sigh did not go unnoticed.
“Jamie, I want to be honest with you. I want you to stay the rest of the weekend and be with me,” he confessed.
He felt her stiffen. She fully understood his request.
She backed up a step so much more afraid of her own reaction to his request than fear of the request itself.
“And if I say no? What then? Will you stop training me?” It was all she could think to say to push him away. She knew better. He was not that kind of man, and had she been rational she would have fully understood he would never hold her training hostage to his physical needs.
She was just afraid, scared of the emotions she had never felt,and the desires she had never hoped to experience. It made her heart race, and her desires were pushing her in a very different direction than she had planned for her life.
She did want to stay. She wanted to stay more than anything she had desired in a very long time. Yet, if she did stay and deepen their relationship, how long would it last? Would it go past the weekend, past the holidays? With Josh her heart could well be involved already. It was a risky proposition, and casual sex was never her preference.
He smiled understanding fully where her question was originating. “Jamie, I may be a lot of things, but a cold-blooded, blackmailing bastard is not one of them. I’m not going to withhold your self-defense if you are not ready. I will gladly continue to coach you either way.”
“I’m sorry I said that, Josh. I know you are a good and decent man and I should not have questioned your integrity. Maybe, I should just go,” she glanced toward the door.
He had Davis drive his truck back to Lubbock leaving her Explorer at the ranch. He understood her need to have a way to leave if she felt the need. If she stayed, it was her own decision, not based on the fact she had no ride.
“Baby, please stay. If we are not at the same place in this relationship right at this moment, it’s fine.” He pulled her against him again. “I’ll lick my wounded male pride, and then I’ll patiently wait, ask again in the not too distant future, and hope the answer will be different the next time.”
“I’m sorry. This is just all so fast.”
“I’m willing to wait,” he kissed the top of her head, “and it certainly is not ‘give in or leave’.” He reassured her running has hands slowly up and down her back. “Please stay.”
He felt her exhale. It was a sigh of relief. He knew her answer without her ever vocalizing it. He was disappointed. What man wouldn’t be? Nevertheless, he was not discouraged. Waiting to be with her was worth the physical discomfort his body was experiencing. Once she opened up, it would be worth the wait no matter how long it took.
“I need to sleep this morning anyway, so you are safe from me for a little while.” He stepped away giving her a little space as he set the table of breakfast. His answer and actions eased her fears.
She did not deserve him.
He closely watched her as they ate and saw her visibly relax. “Once I get up, I’d like to take you riding this afternoon if the weather holds.”
She never committed one way or the other, and as he climbed the stairs to catch a few hours of sleep he wondered what she would do to keep herself occupied.
Chapter 19
Twice Killer barked beside his bed trying to get his attention. Tossing the extra bed pillow at him and swearing to lock the mutt outside if he did not leave him alone, Josh rolled back over drifting back to sleep unfamiliar with the little dog’s habits.
“Josh!”
He heard her scream his name. It penetrated his sleep, stabbing him through the brain like a bolt of hot electricity.
Startled, he sat up automatically reaching for his gun, and tossing the covers back he listened. The house was quiet except for the whine and bark of the dog downstairs.
Perhaps he was just dreaming.
His sleep had been erratic for weeks. Fear for her safety was always lurking just below the surface of his conscious mind, and on several occasions he had awakened in just this same dramatic manner hearing her screams in his sleep. Pulling on his jeans and grabbing his gun from back off the nightstand, he wandered downstairs.
Something did not feel right, he thought. Then he knew why. He could not feel her presence.
She was no longer in the house.
Chapter 20
Josh was in a panic. Killer sat whining by the back door, scratching to get out.
“Jamie!” he yelled as he made his way quickly through the house. “Jamie, answer me!”
Now that he was awake, Killer barked frantically scratching incessantly on the door marring the paint. The dog was transferring his fear to Josh.
There was no note or sign she was still in the house, yet her clothes and toiletries were still in the guest bedroom and bath.
She simply was not there.
If she were gone it was by force, and he had slept through the whole thing. The thought curdled his blood and made it run icy with trepidation.
He looked outside for her SUV. It was still parked where Davis left it the day before. Her purse was on the kitchen table as was her cell phone and car keys. More than this was the fact Killer was still here.
She would never leave him behind, he thought.
“Oh, God, no!”
What had he been thin
king to leave her alone without a guard, except Saber, while he slept? Heart racing, he grabbed his coat and badge and headed out the back.
Then he saw her white as the snow softly falling around her.
Frightened, frozen, and as still as death, Josh saw her standing with her back against the wood shed located just off his workshop. Saber, his police dog partner, was standing guard, or more precisely, holding her in her frozen position. Josh could hear the low growl deep in the highly trained dog’s throat. He knew Saber was just doing his job by following his last command to guard the premises. Unless he gave the command to attack, Jamie was perfectly safe from assault as long as she did not run. Still, she had no way of knowing that piece of information.
He saw her begin to shift her body toward him.
“Don’t move!” he wanted her to take him seriously, gruffly issuing the order, holding up his hand in a gesture to stop her.
“Saber, lass es, hier!” Josh threw the command with authority for the dog to leave it and come.
The dog, hearing the German commands, automatically wheeled and came toward him. “So ist brav, sitz, bleib.” Josh commanded again in the dog’s native tongue.
If Jamie had not been beyond fear, she would have recognized the command and praise. The dog was just doing his job she supposed; still he had made a believer out of her.
Without question the beautiful animal sat in front of his master and stayed as Josh walked calmly toward her, pulling off his coat in the process. Not tempting Saber to make a wrong interpretation of the situation he commanded her again, this time more sympathetically.
“Just remain still, Jamie, until I get to you. Okay?”
She nodded her understanding.
Two feet from where she was planted and probably growing roots, she threw herself into his arms. Basking in the warmth of his body, he placed his coat around her. That one contact felt so good, warm, and reassuring.
As he picked her up behind the knees and carried her back inside, all she could manage to mumble through chattering teeth was something about man’s best friend and horse excrement in the same sentence.
