by Harry Nankin
“Well” said Blodwen “the ambulance station is only next door”.
Edward Edwards the paramedic, bent down then looked up, “I am sorry Ceinwen, he is dead”.
“I could have told you that, you silly bugger”, shouted Ceinwen.
“The reason is why?”
“What’ll I do now; the cops will more than likely have me out of the house?”
With that she burst into tears and was comforted by May Evans and Rhoda Davies bother veterans of the Mothers Union.
Constable Evans was now duly trussed up on the stretcher helmet placed on top, lifted and carried away and soon lying in the rear of the ambulance, the driver calling his control with the update.
“Control from Whisky Alpha 20 we are enroute to Wrexham hospital having picked up Police Constable Ifor Evans, found dead in the parish church. There seems no foul play but the Heddlu will need to know”.
“Whiskey Alpha 20 from control we are ringing Wrexham police as I speak, when you have finished with this please call in, we have another visit”.
“Thank you from Whiskey Alpha 20 out.”
“Hello this is Wrexham police can I help you”?
“Hello, Tom Williams, Wrexham ambulance control yer, just to let you know we have attended a call to the Wrexham parish church and picked up one of your officers Constable Ifor Evans found dead sitting in church; his wife was present and is informed”.
“What did you say mun?" said the police controller, in the local welsh slang.
“Ambulance control here”, this time speaking English and not welsh twang. “Ambulance control here we have picked up Constable Ifor Evans at the parish church. He was found dead sitting in church, his wife is aware, he or rather his body is enroute to the Wrexham hospital for certification”.
“I thought that was what you said, OK, I will deal”, replied Dora.
“Inspector Idris Davies can you come to the phone sir”
“Yes Dora, what is it?”
“Ambulance control is reporten, in her Welsh twang, finding 896 Evans found dead in church, his wife is aware” she clamoured to say.
“What the hell is going on?” What is bloody Ifor up to now?”
“Seemingly nothing sir, he is dead, it seems”, replied Dora almost in a panic.
“Jesus just my luck”, he continued, “call him on the bloody radio just in case, I don’t want bloody egg on my face now look you”.
Dora made numerous calls there was no response.
“Get Inspector Ewan Evison to deal with it before the shit hits the fan, do you hear Dora?”
“Wilco sir,” she replied.
“Wrexham control, to Inspector Ewan Evison, receiving over?”
“Yes Dora, Ewan here can I help? over”
“You may not believe this “Butt”, “Welsh Slang for mate, coming out”, ambulance control are reporting finding Ifor Evans dead in church.”
“Can you go A.S.A.P to the hospital and check it out?”
“I will do” and he could be heard saying
“Rainbow, get over yer, we have a red call to the hospital”.
Ken Johnson was known as Rainbow for he always wore flashy clothes when off duty.
“What’s the rush, Saajunt?” welsh slang.
“What’s the rush?”
"I will tell you what the bloody rush is, Ifor has been found dead in church in bloody uniform if you mind what the hell was he doing there?"
“No wonder he never did get his process or arrest figures up to the mark, skiving in church, sounds as if he was wandering off the bloody job”.
“Tidy Saage, tidy”. The Welsh local language rearing itself, tidy meaning good, I agree or satisfactory.
“What the hell do you mean Rainbow, tidy, nothing bloody tidy about it; I will have every man and his bloody dog crawling over yer now”.
They arrived at the hospital.
Seeing an ambulance outside both officers went to the vehicle, its rear doors open and were just in time to see Doctor Rollason leaving.
“What’s in it Doc?” Asked Ewan.
“He’s dead, looks like natural causes; it will be a Coroners case of course”.
The hospital porter arrived and Ifor was unloaded and taken down the steep hill into the mortuary at the side of the hospital.
Once inside Ewan found the body logging in book and entered the details.
“You, Rainbow get the police stuff out of his pockets, radio, warrant card, wallet anything of value.”
“Make an entry and we will get the wife to sign for it, later”.
“The last thing we need are calls from the Horse and Jockey on a bloody police radio, if its left yer, like the last episode, they’ll nick anything these buggers”.
The body and clothing searched and entering completed the body was finally secured in the fridge.
It was back to the station and the first port of call for Rainbow was the parade room.
Bad news has wings and he was ensuring all he met were told of the death of Ifor.
Ewan on the other hand found himself standing at the desk of Chief Superintendent Morris Jones known since his young police days as Tidy for his habit of describing anything satisfactory as “Tidy”, a common Welsh phrase however.
“Come in Ewan what the hell is happening”?
“All I know at the moment Morris is that Ifor was found dead in church, his wife attended and is aware.
“He has been taken to the hospital yer and certified as dead, the doctor says it appears natural causes”.
“The control room is informing the Coroner as I speak, we will know more after the post mortem”.
Chief Super Jones got up, went to his hat stand put on his cap and said “Come Ewan, get a police woman and we will all go and see the widow, this is always a shit job”.
“Oh just a moment, you go on I will ring Headquarters and speak with the Chief and join you in the car”.
”Ok sir” and he was gone.
Jones hesitated then picked up the phone and rang Headquarters where the controller took his call and told him he would be called back.
It was only moments before his phone began to buzz and the voice said “Chief-Constable Winston Myers. Sounds bad this Tidy Jones”.
“I don’t know much at the moment Chief just that Constable Ifor Evans was found dead sitting in church, he was of course on duty how and why he was there I have no idea at the moment.”
“It seems his wife and other ladies arrived and found him dead”.
“He has been certified dead by a hospital doctor who believes it to be natural causes.”
“We have notified HM Coroner so we will not know any more really until after the Post Mortem”.
He stopped speaking and then said
“Yes sir, I am just out there now with a police woman and an Inspector I will update you later.”
The call ended and in the next moment, he was gone.
At Chester, hospital Doctor Hallam had finished both examinations of the dead police officers. She arrived back in the post mortem room where the Coroners officer was just finishing wiping and putting away the post mortem equipment.
She announced, “sudden death of apparently fit people at the age of 25 to late thirties, the cause of death was always the same, heart arrhythmia, it often happens to fit sportsmen.”
“I could find nothing else at Post Mortem.”
“These instances are sometimes called sudden adult death syndrome. The heart has suffered a disturbed rhythm and no blood circulates so death ensues. No cause for this is known.”
She then handed Jock two slips of paper giving the causes of death they were both the same
1a.Heart failure
1b Due to heart arrhythmia
As she left, she turned and commented, “It is very sad and highly unusual for two cases to occur at the same time on the same date to such persons as these”.
“It goes without saying there were no signs of violence of any kind, I will report
to the Coroner. The cases should be recorded as natural and there will be no need for any inquests”.
She was gone moments later, leaving Jock to ponder, “It was probably nothing but definitely unusual and strange, there was certainly nothing more he could do the brains and qualified had spoken.”
He arrived back at Chester Police Station and immediately went to the office of Chief Superintendent Craig Denton-Smyth.
He knocked on the door and received an immediate “Come in”.
“Right Jock, what have you to report, Post Mortems done I take it, any hitches?”
Jock replied, “No hitches sir, natural causes, unusual mind but natural causes”.
“No need for Inquests, here Sir, see the Pathologist ticket. She will make her full report to the Coroner who I have no doubt will issue death certificates for both officers. I will just wait to get confirmation and that will be the end of it.”
“Bad show Jock a very bad show; I have been in touch with the force welfare officer who is visiting both next of kin and will assist to arrange the funerals and of course the costs”.
The following Monday morning at 8am Clemance Roberts known as “Clem”, Coroners officer for Wrexham arrived as usual in the control room seeking to know if he had any business.
When he picked up his briefing pad and opened it, he exclaimed “Christ almighty Ifor Evans is dead, well now look you there is a shock now isn’t it”.
“Hello Roberts you have seen it then” it was Chief Super Morris Jones. “A bad business, such a young bloke it should be interesting to find out, what the hell happened to him.”
“Preliminary reports suggest it was natural causes, certainly no outward signs of foul play, I will leave it with you Roberts, keep me updated”.
“I certainly will sir”.
“Oh Clemance”, came the melodious voice of April the communications room assistant.
“Yes April?” said Roberts.
“Just to let you know we have contacted the Coroner last night and he authorised the PM and for Dr Rees to do it. He has telephoned early today and confirmed he will do it first in the circumstance so expect him just after 9am.”
“Well done April, I will get up there forthwith”.
He left and arrived at the hospital. As he parked, he saw the head porter Ralph Edwards standing waiting at the Mortuary door and waving to him.
Clem locked his car went over and called “Has he woken up Ralph”?
“Now, Clem none of that, no, he is dead alright, even smiling to look at him”.
“I was just waving to tell you we have him out and ready, there are two more, only hospital not coroners cases.”
“Doc Rees has telephoned to say he will do the copper first so that you can update the powers to be it may save a lot of fuss for nothing”.
“You are right on the ball Ralph, I am very much obliged.”
In the Manchester police control room, Hilda Milburn was desperately trying to raise Constable Rick Masterton; she had been calling him for over ten minutes.
He was needed back at the stables the vet was due in half an hour to check out his police horse, Spike.
Miss Paris France was oblivious to this she was more concerned that Patch her German Shepherd had his morning run before it was time for her to get back to meet the decorator. It had taken months to get one; they were all booked up in spite of the supposed recession.
“Come back Patch, don’t you dare jump at that police horse; you will have both of us locked up”.
“She hastily ran down, took hold of Patch and secured him on his lead.
“That is strange” she thought a police horse and no officer perhaps he or she had gone off to look at something or she hesitated and now began to laugh perhaps the copper had taken short and was somewhere in the bushes.
She walked on around the great Chorlton Lake in south Manchester, a popular place for dog walkers and photographers of birds and the like.
She walked around the other side of the lake the expanse was great. “Patch, will you please come out of that water, I won’t have time to dry you off”.
Patch arrived soaking wet; he stopped and shook causing the remnants of the lake to be deposited on her. She looked up; strange she thought the horse is still on its own?
When arriving back at the gate again the horse was still standing impassively but alone.
At that moment a group of women walkers arrived, she had seen them often they were in rehab after strokes and often walked with their carers as part of their recovery. The whole group stopped peering at the silent and almost motionless horse.
“It’s been there ages on its own,” said Paris.
The crowd of women mumbled and one in the group said
“Poor thing, this can’t be right, perhaps it escaped someone ought to tell the police”.
Paris took the bull by the horns as she walked on, she reached for her mobile phone and suddenly realised she could not recall the 08450 number for the police. “After all” she thought, “it is their horse I don’t suppose they will mind me calling 999”.
“Operator, emergency, which service please, police, fire or ambulance.
“Oh this is Paris France, police please”.
“Hold the line if you would please madam, I will connect you”. Replied the telephone operator.
“Police emergency” was the next the telephone operator heard.
“Ah police. I don’t know if this is going to be a hoax call a lady calling herself Paris France is on the line I will connect her”.
“Ok” replied Hilda now frustrated at not getting Rick or his bloody horse, if it came to that, she often thought the horses were more intelligent than the cops who rode them.
“Police Emergency, how can I help?”
“I don’t know if this is a waste of a call”
“I hope not madam we take these malicious 999 calls very seriously”.
“Oh dear” replied Paris, “in that case I hope I don’t get into any trouble”
“Tell me what you want and I will soon let you know what trouble you are in”, came back Hilda.
Paris now in trembling mode could see the police arriving at her door as she was speaking, worse they were hammering down the very door as they had done with the next door neighbour during a recent drug raid on that house.
“I simply want to say that I am at Chorlton Park and there is a police horse standing here on its own, it’s been here for ages”.
“There is no sign of anyone with it. I thought I had better call in and I just can’t recall the ordinary number.”
“Don’t worry madam you won’t get into trouble, thank you for your call we will check it out. Your address please?”
“Six the Terrace, Chorlton Green”. Replied Paris relieved it seemed there would be no raid on her house after all.
“Thank you madam” said Hilda and put down the phone.
“Inspector Horrocks, you need to hear this”
“Yes Hilda what is it, I was just going to see the Super can’t you handle it”
“Well I can but I think you ought to know, a lady has just made a three nines reporting a police horse standing on its own at Chorlton Park and I haven’t been able to raise Rick Masterton the jockey for some time.”
Inspector Horrocks stopped in her tracks and returned, thought and then said, “Is the chopper up?”
“Not at the moment” replied Hilda.
“Get it up forthwith and tell them to get over to Chorlton Park”.
“This smells. I will go and see the Super and will update him, if there is anything in it?” Let me know”.
“Jesus who is that you can’t stop for a brew or a pee unless some Looney wants you, Hello, Max Grimshaw Manchester police helicopter pad, who is this?”
“Hello Hilda, what now?"
“Max can you get over to Chorlton Park Lake, we have a three nines a report that a police horse standing on its own with no sign of Rick Masterton the jockey and I haven’t been abl
e to raise him for nearly an hour now”.
“Leave it with me Hilda I will get over there now, come on George we have a shout”.
It was less than ten minutes when the helicopter marked police was hovering over the lake.
“Jesus”, cried George “the vicar” Thomas, so nick named for he replied Jesus Christ to almost everything. “Down there” he continued, “a yellow coat in the water, get the Chopper down it’s near the side I think I can reach it”.
The helicopter descended and simultaneously Hilda got the call, no frills and bullshit procedure
“Hilda are you there?”
“This is Max we have sighted a yellow coat in the lake, I am just landing it does look like a body, George thinks he can reach it on foot”.
“Christ” thought Hilda “I had better update the boss straight away.
“Chief Superintendent Mary Harris speaking, what is it Hilda?" She went silent then said, “Yes, yes you were quite correct”.
Replacing the phone she looked up and said
“Delia get your hat and coat, that was Hilda, they have found a body in Chorlton Lake, its wearing a yellow jacket looks terribly as if it could be Rick Masterton”,
“I wonder whatever brought this on?” she thought as she was hastily making her way to the scene, dreading the outcome.
Arriving in the control room they both went inside “We are going to the scene, Hilda, get in touch with traffic get an officer to get the four by four and trailer to recover the horse we will update you on arrival”.
Hilda smiled and said, “OK, thank you Miss Harris, I have also called an ambulance, just in case”.
“Thank you Hilda” replied the Chief Super and they were gone.
George off the helicopter waded in and the water came to his waist, he reached down and pulled, the body spun over clearly the face was that of Rick Masterton, he was dead for sure.
