by Magan Vernon
“Ey, your knight in shining armor is here!” Mark yelled, raising a rocks glass and downing it.
I shook my head. “Glad you two decided to help Dominic keep my girlfriend company.”
Phil swiveled in his seat. “Your girlfriend? Dominic told me she was up for grabs.” He slunk his arm around the back of Jackie’s seat.
I took a few steps toward him, clenching and unclenching my fists at my sides. I’d had enough shit to last a lifetime with guys trying to fuck with Jackie and even if he was my cousin, I wasn’t going to fuck with anyone else who tried to touch her. “Keep your arm there and I’ll make sure it leaves here in an ambulance.”
“Whoa!” Phil raised his arms and patted my back. “Cool it, cuz.” He stood up. “Come outside and have a smoke with me.”
“I was actually just about to have a drink with Jackie before I took her home...” Jackie raised her eyebrows like she was pleading with me to stay with her.
Phil took a pack of Camels out of his pocket and motioned his head toward the door. “Come on, five minutes for your cousin. I promise we’ll be right back and then you can have all the time you want with your new bella.”
“Okay, fine. For you.” I leaned over and kissed Jackie’s cheek then whispered in her ear. “Sorry, babe, I’ll be right back.”
“It’s okay, I understand.”
“You’re the best.” I kissed her again right at the edge of her lips.
“Let’s go, Nicky!” Phil yelled.
“I’m coming!”
I hopped up and followed Phil out of the front doors and out toward the parking lot. We stood at the end of the maroon awning, watching as the sun set beyond the trees. In the city there wasn’t much room for trees, but in the suburbs there were a ton. Sometimes I missed the greenery, watching everything natural and real.
Phil lit up his cigarette, exhaling a big puff of smoke, the gray cloud swirling in the air in front of him. “So this Jackie girl, she’s the real deal, ey?”
“Yeah.” I nodded. “She is.”
He glanced at me out of the corner of his eye. “She’s worth all the shit that we started with these gang mother fuckers?”
I licked my lips. “You heard what he said to me. Not just about Jackie but about me. About us. About our family.”
He nodded, taking a long drag of his cigarette. “Yeah. I would have shot him a hell of a lot sooner.”
“I’ve never been so angry with someone that I’ve wanted them dead.” I kicked at the sidewalk. “Usually I just feel numb. Like nothing can get to me. Then Jackie crashed into my life and now it’s like the fighting makes sense, like I’m actually fighting for something. Not just in the cage, but outside.”
He took a drag of his cigarette, puffing out a ring of smoke. “That’s deep, man.”
“Yeah, it’s the truth. She means a lot to me. I’ve never felt like this with another girl and I hope she doesn’t fucking hate me when she figures out the real Nick Ragusa.”
Phil shook his head. “You’re not a bad guy. You never have been. You’re the best of all of us.” He patted my shoulder. “Which is why you should go back in there and get your girl before Dominic tries to make her do body shots or something.”
I smiled. “Thanks, Phil. I appreciate that.”
“It’s the truth, Nick.”
I turned and walked toward the door. As I put my hand on the handle, I looked back at Phil, standing on the corner, throwing the butt of his cigarette on the ground. I thought he would follow me in. I waited a second longer. A second too long.
The world moved in slow motion.
A black SUV with tinted windows pulled right up to the curb and rolled down the window. The sun glinted off the rearview mirror and everything stood still. The birds stopped chirping. The clouds stopped moving. Everything in that instant was silent.
Until the gunshot boomed like thunder through the parking lot. I screamed, running toward Phil. The screeching of the tires echoed as the SUV pulled away before his body even hit the pavement below. Blood pooled around his head, thick like syrup. I’d never seen so much blood. It just kept flowing.
I fell to my knees in front of him and put my hands on his head, hoping that the pressure on it would do something useful.
Uncle Guido, Dominic, Mark, and Jackie ran out of the restaurant. Someone called 911. Everything else happened in a blur. At some point someone pulled me off of Phil and sat me down on the grass. Jackie sat next to me, rubbing my back and telling me it was going to be okay. But it wasn’t. Phil’s blood was still staining my hands and I knew the fucker who put it there.
El Lobo was going to pay.
Chapter 14
Red.
It was all I could see. From the blood that stained my hands to the visions that coursed through my brain.
The police came and so did the ambulance, but I barely heard them. The restaurant cleared out as soon as the police gave everyone the okay to leave. No one wants to stay and eat after a man is shot on the front lawn. All I could hear was the echo of the gunshot ringing through my ears. The EMTs loaded Phil on a stretcher, leaving me sitting on the lawn. They didn’t know if he was going to make it. I heard them whispering as they loaded him in the ambulance but I tried to block it out. I wanted to block out the whole fucking world, but I couldn’t.
The police came to question me, but I didn’t want to talk to them. I couldn’t talk to them. The only words that wanted to escape me were screams. Screams for my cousin who shouldn’t have been shot.
It should have been me.
“Witnesses said they saw a black SUV pull up. Did you see who was driving?”
“Did you get a license plate?”
“Did the person say anything before they shot Phil Catania?”
The officer fired question after question at me, but I just stared at my hands. My blood red hands. There was no mercy, no passion to the crime. They just drove up and shot him, then fled like cowards. There was no honor in that. All the anger boiled up in me. I wanted to destroy them.
“I think that’s enough questioning of my son for now.” I looked up to see my father standing next to the officer. His very presence made the police officer do a double-take and then close his notebook, his hands now shaking. The man has the same effect on me.
Dad didn’t smile and he didn’t frown, but his eyes held mine, even though his conversation was with the officer. “Our lawyer will be in touch with you when my son is ready to talk.”
“Yes, sir. I understand. We should be wrapping up here shortly.” The officer strode away, leaving just me standing there with my dad.
I sucked in a deep breath and exhaled as I spoke. I had to regain my composure because all I really wanted to do was yell out a slew of swear words and then tell him that we had to go find the bastards and destroy them all. “Thanks.”
“Just because you’re done talking to the officer, doesn’t mean our conversation is finished.” He put his hands into his pocket, raising his eyebrows high on his head. “From what Guido tells me, it appears we have a lot to discuss.”
I nodded, ready to see what his plans were for revenge. “Yeah. We do.”
“Nick?” Jackie’s voice came out in a choked whisper.
I turned slowly to see her standing wide eyed, her arms tightly wrapped around herself. “Um, Haley is here to pick me up. I hope that’s okay. I didn’t think you’d be leaving for awhile.” Her eyes flitted between me and my dad. Shit. I was going to have to make introductions, and this wasn’t the moment I wanted her to meet my father.
“And who is this beautiful young woman, Nicky?” Dad turned on the charm, stepping next to me, clasping one hand on my shoulder like we were old friends. I tried not to wince.
“Dad, this is my girlfriend, Jackie. Jackie, this is my father, Vince.”
“Oh.” Her eyes widened so big I swore they were going to bust out of their sockets. “Pleased to meet you Mr. Ragusa. I’ve heard so much about you.” She put her hand out and shook his.
While she was nervous with my cousins and uncle, with my dad her whole body visibly shook and it wasn’t just because night had fallen and it was cold out now.
“The pleasure is all mine, Jackie. I wish my son had told me more about you. I didn’t know he was seeing anyone.” Dad glanced at me from the corner of his eye. I knew the wheels were spinning in his head and he was going to get all the information he could about Jackie. This wasn’t the time or the place. We had more important things to discuss than my new girlfriend.
“We haven’t been together that long, Dad,” I said, trying not to grit my teeth. “It’s just unfortunate this had to happen today. Hopefully you won’t hold it against me.” I turned back toward Jackie. “I’ll call you later, okay?”
“Yeah. Take your time. You have a lot going on. I’m so sorry again about your cousin.” She nodded.
I leaned in, giving her a quick hug and placed a kiss on her cheek.
“It was nice to meet you, Mr. Ragusa.” She waved.
“The pleasure was all mine.” He smiled, but it was forced. He couldn’t be real with her. Why would I expect anything else? The man wasn’t real with anyone.
She turned and took off toward a waiting red Honda, sliding in the passenger side of the car before it took off.
“A new girlfriend, Nicky?” Dad turned to me.
“Yes, Dad. I’m not some fucking teenager. I can have a girlfriend.” I clenched and unclenched my fists. I was on edge and felt the need to destroy something—anything—even if it had to be my father. But I would rather it be the fuckers that shot Phil.
“I didn’t say you couldn’t. I just didn’t hear anything about this. You should bring her by the house sometime. Your mother would probably love to meet her. Angie too.”
I turned, fully facing him. “Don’t patronize me right now. I don’t have time. We’ve got enough going on.”
Dad let out a slight laugh but there was no humor in it. “Okay, Nick. If you’ve got this all figured out then let’s go inside so you can enlighten me and the rest of the family because we need to know what kind of fucked up situation we’re in.”
***
We sat at the same table in the back room where just a few hours before Uncle Guido and Dominic were talking. Now it was a war room complete without a few bottles of wine and antipasto on the table. Uncle Guido wasn’t about to let us starve.
Dad sat at the head of the table with me at his right, Dominic to the left, and Uncle Guido across from Dad. Mark went to the hospital to meet up with his parents.
“So, who’s going to tell me what the hell is going on?” Dad sat with his hands folded on the table, and even though the words were harsh his face was still, not showing any signs of emotion.
Dominic and Uncle Guido’s eyes both trailed to me. I took a sip of my wine, setting the glass back down on the table before I spoke. I needed to gather myself. My father was the stoic one, the one who handled these types of things. I would rather just go out and destroy something. “What is there to tell? A man threatened me, my woman, and my family so I put a hit on him.” My jaw twitched as well as my fingers just like they did before I got in the cage. I was ready for a fight. “He happened to have ties to a gang and that gang figured out that we were involved so they came after one of our own.”
Dad steepled his fingers. “All your life you’ve been trying to run from your fate. You said you didn’t want this life. Now you’ve put us right in the middle of a goddamn war with a bunch of gangbangers. They fight dirty. Sneaky. You just put yourself in charge of fighting them back.” He pointed at me, his jaw trembling with each word. This was an order straight from the master himself. No more running. This really was my fight and I was ready to go all in.
“I know. I know I fucked up and I’m going to make it right.” I looked from Uncle Guido, to Dominic and then fixed my stare right on Dad’s, not looking away. If there was one thing I learned in the cage it was that you couldn’t show your opponent that you were afraid. Even if you were about to shit your pants. You had to stand up to him like you owned his fucking balls. “I will fight for this family.”
Dad nodded, setting his hands back on the table. “You know this means no more spending every night with this underground fighting. We can’t have another mistake and watch our family members’ blood drain in the streets.” He shook his head. “I won’t allow it.”
I clenched my jaw. The cage was my way to escape my problems. To destroy things when I had pent up anger, but now I knew that it was time to take the fight out of the cage. This wasn’t about playing around anymore. This was about revenge. “I will do everything I can to see that doesn’t happen.”
Dad leaned in. “And the girl. What does she have to do with all of this?”
I tightened my jaw so hard I thought I might have broken it. “Leave her out of this. It doesn’t concern her.”
“Nicky, you know she’s a big part of this,” Dominic piped in.
“Shut the fuck up, Dom!” I spat.
He cowered back in his seat. When I looked at Dad he was smiling, shaking his head and wiggling a finger at me. “To have that kind of reaction, she is obviously a big part.” He swiveled in his chair, turning toward Dominic. “Tell me, Dominic, what am I missing?”
I stared at Dominic, shaking my head ever so slightly. I wanted to keep Jackie as far away from the family drama as possible.
Dominic bit his lip. “Sorry, Nicky, but you know as well as I do that she’s neck deep in this mess.” He looked back at Dad. “The guy Phil killed is Jackie’s ex-boyfriend.. His gang brother is an underground fighter who goes by the name El Lobo and is also one mean son of a bitch.”
“Bastardo,” I said under my breath.
“Watch it,” Dad growled. “At least he was honest with me. Someone has to be to get to the bottom of this mess you created.”
I put my arms out. “Isn’t this what you always wanted, Dad? Me to take over? Put me in the middle of a fucking war so that I had no choice?”
Dad shook his head. “I didn’t want our family’s blood to be shed. We can’t let these thugs think they own us. We have to show them who really runs this town.”
“Okay.” I sat back, crossing my arms over my chest. “Then what do we do?”
Dad smirked. “That’s for you to decide. I already told you, you’re in charge this time.”
I uncrossed my arms and leaned forward. “What?”
Dad took a sip of his wine and stood. “You heard me. You want to fight? Well then fight, Nicky. Show me how a real man would take care of this.” He stood behind his chair. “I’m going to go see my sister at the hospital while you figure out a way to clean away the blood staining your hands.”
Chapter 15
When I got home I wanted to obliterate something. Anything. I should have taken the detour and gone to the gym, working out my aggression like I usually did in the ring.
Instead I took it out on my condo. I ripped down every stupid piece of fine art on the wall and broke it over my knee. Pulled open drawers that I didn’t even know what they hold, only to rip out the contents and then bust the drawers in half. I threw the loveseat on its side, barely missing the giant TV, but that wasn’t saved from the carnage, none of my electronics were. By the time I’d wiped out any resemblance of it being the pristine place my decorator put together I was exhausted. My hands bled and my whole body shook. I didn’t even bother going to my bedroom, just collapsed on the couch with booze-spattered the broken glass surrounding me from the bottles in my mini bar.
I knew my housekeeper was going to have a shit fit when she saw it, but I didn’t care. I was completely numb. Even as I got ready for work the next morning, dodging the mess I’d thrown around the night before, I still couldn’t feel anything. I needed to do something but the only thing that would make me feel any better was seeing El Lobo’s blood on my hands.
***
The first thing I saw when I finally reached my office was Miss Rainn, my secretary.
She was dressed in a skirt suit that probably cost more than Jackie’s rent. I was pretty sure I didn’t pay her more than fifty grand a year so my dad had to be paying her for sex or some shit. Great, my mom was going fucking botso and my dad was paying my secretary for sex. Fucking wonderful.
“Mr. Ragusa?” She pursed her lips together and fluffed up her hair. I didn’t have time for her shit or whatever flirty attitude she was going to put on. I slammed my hands on her desk, leaning in, my jaw clenching as I looked at her. “What, Miss Rain? What the fuck is it now?”
She stared at me wide-eyed, her bottom lip trembling. The rage boiling in me was too thick to simmer. I’d never even raised my voice to the woman, but now I was ready to make her quake. If she wanted to go on with her little bottana act, she wasn’t going to do it on my watch.
“Dominic is in there waiting for you. He’s been in there a while,” she said, her voice wavering.
“Good,” I said as I straightened up. “At least you’re fucking good for telling me something that I would have seen as soon as I walked into my office.” I pulled my wallet out of my back pocket, pulled out a card and slammed it on the desk in front of her. “Now make yourself useful for once and call my fucking decorator. My condo looks like shit. Tell her I want it completely fixed by the time I get home tonight”
She blinked, staring at me with her eyes on the brink of tears. I didn’t have time to deal with what a shitty secretary she really was her or my dad’s infidelities that morning. “And hold my calls today. I have family business to take care of.”
“Y-Y-Y-es, Mr. Ragusa.” She nodded, her hands shaking as she picked up the phone.
I put my hand on the door and opened it, shutting it tightly behind me before she could say anything else. I didn’t care who she was fucking. I would fire her ass as soon as possible.
I needed to beat the hell out of something, and Dominic looked like he did too. He stood staring out the office window, his back to me. He looked even more like shit than I did. His white button down shirt was wrinkled that looked like he’d picked it up off the ground that morning.
