“Things are working out,” he said, and couldn’t stop from smiling.
“And this side investigation? Can you tell me about it? It has to be more interesting than looking into storage units and warehouses.”
“I thought you didn’t mind the busy work.”
“Don’t get me wrong, I understand it’s part of the investigation process. I guess I didn’t realize how much paperwork would be involved, though.”
After making a quick turn, he said, “Our case might be a little on the boring side, but I do think it’s a good one for you to help familiarize yourself with CORE and what we do.” Missy Schneider’s bloodied body moved to the forefront of his mind. “Trust me, there’s going to come a time when you’ll wish you were back to boring cases.”
“Is what you’re investigating with Jessica boring?”
“I wish,” he said, then gave her the short version. By the time he pulled into the parking garage, he’d finished giving Lola the details and parked the car. When she didn’t open her door, he glanced at her. Lola sat staring out the window, the notepad she’d carried out of the police station clutched to her chest. “Are you upset about something?”
“I’m beyond upset,” she said, her tone angry.
“I understand. This case has an emotional impact.”
When she faced him, he registered the uncertainty and frustration hardening her face and eyes. “It’s not just that. I mean, these people, what they’ve done…it’s beyond horrible.”
“Then what is it?”
“I don’t know that I could spend hours looking at missing children, let alone view the body of a woman who had her baby—” She looked away. “I just don’t know if I could do that.”
She was questioning herself and her capabilities as a CORE agent. He’d been down that road plenty of times and understood. “I’m not going to lie and tell you looking at a murder victim gets easier. It doesn’t. But knowing you’re the one doing everything possible to give that victim justice, or stop a murderer or kidnapper from hurting anyone else, does have its rewards.”
She drew in a deep breath, closed her eyes, and released it. Then she shook her head. “I can’t even find my calming energy right now.”
Grinning, he opened up the car door. “Sometimes that’s okay. It’ll make you hungrier to solve an investigation.”
“I might need you to remind me of that when I’m dealing with my own twisted assignments,” she said, and slipped out of the car.
“Don’t worry about something that hasn’t happened yet,” he said as they made their way to the elevator. “And don’t let self-doubt hold you back from doing your job. Just remember why you wanted to work for CORE. Actually, I never did ask—why did you want to work for CORE?”
With a shrug, she looked up and watched the elevator lights signal the floors they were passing. “It’s a long story and we only have two more floors to go,” she said, and finally looked at him. “Some other time.”
Curious, he’d definitely hold her to an explanation. Lola was a beautiful woman, with plenty of unique assets—martial arts, acting skills, knowledge of weapons and a background in criminology. She was young and, with her parents’ Hollywood connections, she could have probably chosen a safer, more lucrative line of work.
“Plan on it,” he said, just as the elevator doors slid open. When they entered CORE’s main offices, Rachel greeted them.
“I was just about to call you,” she said, catching her breath and holding her protruding stomach. “Damn, hang on.” She winced, and used one of the chairs in the foyer to steady herself.
Concerned, he took her by the elbow and sat her down. “Are you okay? Do you want me to find Owen?”
“Are you having contractions?” Lola asked, crouching in front of Rachel and taking her hand.
She exhaled and shook her head. “No. My OB says these are Braxton Hicks contractions, not the real deal. Thank God. I still have another six weeks before I’m due.” She rubbed her belly. “It’s too early for her to come.”
“Maybe I should call Owen anyway,” he suggested.
“He’s in Philadelphia for the next couple of days.”
Now he remembered. Owen had to attend the trial of an arsonist he’d been involved with apprehending last year. “Then maybe you should go home and relax.”
“Quit mothering me,” she said, and pushed herself out of the chair. “I’m fine. Besides, if I left now, who would tell you about what Walmart had to say?”
Although still concerned about Rachel, she’d definitely enticed him. “Please tell me it’s good news.”
“If you think video of one of the kidnappers purchasing the stroller the Lamoni boy was found in is good news, then today’s your lucky day.”
*
Jessica and Alex carried their sandwiches outside of the deli and seated themselves at a tiny table along the store’s front sidewalk. When Jessica bit into her turkey sandwich, she caught Alex staring at her, a grin on his face. After she finished chewing and swallowing, she asked, “What are you smiling about?”
“Nothing.”
She raised the sandwich to her mouth. “Liar.”
He chuckled and picked up his pastrami on rye. “Maybe it makes me happy to see you actually eating again.”
“I eat.”
“No. You pick at your food.”
She looked at her sandwich and realized he was right. With a shrug she said, “I guess I have my appetite back.” Did she ever. Since living with Dante again, she’d forgotten how much she’d depended on his cooking, and how adept he was in the kitchen. The man could make a gourmet meal out of whatever he could find in the fridge, freezer and pantry. Last night, he’d turned a can of green beans—that she would have simply heated in a bowl in the microwave—into a fancy side dish worthy of a five star restaurant, cooking the green beans in white wine and olive oil, adding black pepper, minced garlic, chopped red bell peppers and crumbled feta cheese. Delicious.
“So I guess moving back home is working out for you.”
She set the sandwich on the wrapper and picked up her Diet Coke. “I didn’t move back in—yet.”
“Just crashing at Dante’s then?”
“Since we’re married and own our home, I wouldn’t call it crashing.”
“Booty call?”
She laughed. “Oh, my God, would you stop?”
“Well, I’ve been waiting for you to say something about what’s going on between you and Dante since Tuesday. Sorry, but if you’re not going to give me the details, I’ll have to draw my own conclusions.”
“Since Tuesday? How did you even know or suspect anything?”
“I’m a cop. I pick up on things.” He nodded to her sandwich. “First, it was the way you’ve been inhaling your food. Second, you wore the same clothes twice within a couple of days. Third, every day this week you’ve driven into the precinct from the opposite direction of your apartment. Fourth—”
“Enough already,” she said, and picked up her sandwich. “Okay. I admit it. We’re back together.” When his smile grew, she held up a finger. “Hold up. I haven’t officially moved back in and still have my apartment.”
“What are you waiting for? I haven’t seen you this happy in years.”
“I am happy, but we still have a few things to work out first.”
“Like?”
“Shouldn’t we be discussing the new lead on the Henderson case?” Last month they’d been called to an apartment building to investigate a homicide. At first glance, it appeared as if the wife had murdered her husband with a .22. Thanks to an anonymous tip, they were now looking into the couple’s fifteen-year-old son as a potential suspect.
“Your love life is more interesting. So what do you need to work out?”
Wasn’t that the million dollar question? This past week had been eye opening for her. She looked forward to going home now—going to her real home—and seeing Dante there. He’d shown her how lonely her life had been, how much she’d
isolated herself and he’d given her a reason to look forward to waking up in the morning.
But there was an elephant in the house.
A ginormous, six-ton elephant.
“It’s not necessarily what me and Dante need to work out,” she said “It’s what I need to work out for myself.”
“Sophia,” he said, his eyes softening with understanding.
She set her half eaten sandwich aside. “Yeah, she’s everywhere I look. In my apartment, I didn’t have anything of hers except one picture I kept in my bedroom. At the house— So two days ago, I went into the linen closet in the guest bathroom. There was the purple, hooded unicorn towel I used to wrap her up in after her bath.” The towel had been too big for her baby girl, and she smiled when she remembered how adorable she had looked with the hood draped over her head. “Some of her bath toys were there, too, and it just…” She let out a sigh. “It’s so damned hard.”
“You’re finally facing your grief. Only now, you’re not going at it alone.”
“I know. Dante’s been very patient. So patient, it’s scaring me.”
“Waiting for the other shoe to drop?”
She half-smiled. “I don’t want to live like that—wondering when my world is going to turn to shit again, wondering if I’m going to have to go back to my apartment and—”
“Then stop wondering and cancel the lease.”
“It’s not that easy.”
“Sure it is. Call the landlord and tell him you’re moving out.”
She reached for her Diet Coke, then leaned into the chair and let the sun heat her face. “You know exactly what I meant.”
“I do. But if you want to make things work between you and Dante, you’re going to have to show him you’re ready and willing to do what it takes to save your relationship. Cancelling your lease is a huge step in the right direction. Think about it from his position. He has his wife back home, only she’s keeping a place on the side in case she needs to run again.”
“I didn’t—”
“You did run, and keeping the apartment tells me you’ve convinced yourself that you’ll have to run again. If I’m thinking that, you know Dante probably is, too.” He crumpled up his sandwich wrapper. “And that’s gotta suck for him.”
“I don’t want to hurt him again.” Guilt made her stomach queasy. “Can I tell you something? It’s personal, and I’ll need you to promise not to judge me or tell Dante.”
He leaned forward and studied her, his gaze intent. “Jess, Dante’s my friend, but I would never betray your trust. And I might not always agree with your decisions, but I’ve never judged you before. I couldn’t, and no one should, not unless they’ve been through what you have.”
Her throat tightened, and she swallowed hard. “Thank you. You’ve been a good friend.” Not needing the other diners listening to her confession, she also leaned forward. “I…God, this is going to sound stupid.”
“Let me be the judge of that.”
“I thought you weren’t going to judge me,” she said with a smile, while nervousness made her legs jumpy.
He chuckled. “Just spit it out.”
“One of the reasons I had a hard time being around Dante was because he reminds me of my daughter.”
“He’s her father. That’s natural.”
“It’s more than that. She looks just like him. Same dark hair and eyes. When I look at him, I see her, and remember everything that I lost. I’ve never said this out loud, but he’s like a human memento. I love him, but I can’t help resenting him and what he represents, too.” She drew in a shaky breath. “Pretty crappy on my part, huh?”
He reached over and gripped her hand. “When you go home today, look at Sophia’s picture. Really look at it, and when you do, don’t focus on the color of her eyes or hair. Check out her smile, her nose—those are yours. Same with the shape of her eyes. Your daughter is the perfect combination of you and Dante. And when you’re looking at Sophia’s picture, ask yourself, what does Dante see? Have you ever thought that when he looks at you, he sees her, too? That maybe you’re his human memento?”
She hadn’t. Even if Alex was right, knowing Dante, he wouldn’t resent her for reminding him of their daughter. He would welcome and celebrate it.
“I think beating yourself up over these natural feelings is a waste of time and energy. One other thing, you keep talking about what you lost. What about Dante? He lost his daughter, too.” He glanced to the traffic on the street. “You always hear about a mother’s love, and I know there’s something special to that. But I have three sons and would be just as devastated as Shannon if anything happened to them. They’re our boys.”
God, she’d been so selfish. How many times had she thrown the fact that she’d been the one worrying over becoming pregnant, that she’d been the one to carry their baby for forty weeks, that’s she’d been the one dealing with the doctors’ appointments, giving birth and nursing their daughter. The only reason she’d been the one dealing with the birthing process and breast feeding was because she had the right body parts.
Last week, when they’d been arguing, Dante had referred to himself as just the sperm donor. She’d never meant to treat him as if he had no part in their daughter’s birth, and wished she could take back the selfish things she’d said to him. “Has Dante ever said anything to you about me treating him like—”
He shook his head. “Dante’s never said a word to me about you.”
Liar. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have asked. What you two talk about in private isn’t my business.”
“You don’t believe me? Well, think about this. You hardly ever open up about anything to me, and Dante’s the same way. So, who do you talk to when you have something going on in your head? Who does Dante? You don’t have to answer, because I already know. You had each other. When you moved out, shut him out, you didn’t just get rid of your human memento, you walked away from the one person you could turn to when it mattered the most. And you took that away from Dante, too.”
Wow. Alex was in rare form today. She’d never heard him talk like this before, and had no idea how insightful he could be. Her respect for him doubled. He was a good man, and she appreciated his honesty and friendship. “Thank you,” she said, glad they’d had this talk. The weight of the guilt she’d been carrying lightened a bit, but to rid herself of it completely, she knew who she really needed to have this conversation with—her husband. “Dante and I…we’ve talked about a lot of things this past week, but I think I need to bring up everything you and I just talked about.”
“Maybe. Or maybe you should officially move back in. Actions sometime speak louder than words and all that shit.” He grinned. “Unless there’s something else in your personal life you want to talk about, can we go back to the Henderson case? I’m better with homicide than marriage counseling.”
She chuckled. “Don’t sell yourself short. You’ve given me a lot to think about.” While most of what they’d talked about had been on her mind, Alex had helped clarify it and made her realize that in order to make her marriage work, she would need to unload some of her emotional baggage on to Dante and confess all of the worries and guilt she’d been carrying with her. “And you’re right, we need to finish looking into that lead in the Henderson case. If the son was the one who shot the father, and the mom is covering for him, my question is why?”
“Maybe the mom put him up to it, or maybe the kid was tired of watching his dad hurt her. Remember, the neighbors claimed the husband was always yelling at her. Verbal abuse doesn’t get the same kind of notice as physical abuse does.”
“Or maybe—” Her cell phone vibrated on her belt, and she quickly retrieved it. When she glanced at the screen, her heart tripped. “Sorry, it’s Dante. How are you?” she answered.
“Excited,” Dante said, which she would have guessed by his tone.
“About?”
“Walmart finally came through.”
“Please tell me we have video surveillan
ce.”
“That and more. Can you come to CORE?”
She looked to Alex, and asked, “Mind if we make a detour? Dante has a lead on our case.” She’d told Alex all about their investigation Monday morning, right after she apologized for blowing him off on Friday and not showing up for work.
He grabbed their trash off the table. “I’m in.”
Shoving the chair back, she stood. “Alex is with me. We’re on our way. Did you look at the video yet?”
“No. I’m waiting on you.”
Like he had been for over three years. Yeah, she really needed to have a heart to heart with him later. She also needed to cancel the lease on her apartment. She was committed to Dante in every sense, now she needed to prove it. But first, it was time to catch a glimpse of a kidnapper.
Chapter 12
“MEET YOUR KIDNAPPER,” Rachel said, zooming in on a still shot of a Walmart cash register.
Jessica moved closer to the large TV screen in CORE’s evidence and evaluation room. “Having the video in color is helpful, but between his head being down and his baseball hat, there’s no clear shot of his face. Is there any other footage?”
“Yes, there is. I’ve got it cued up on these screens,” Rachel said, pointing to the two TVs next to the one they were viewing.
Dante stood and moved next to Jessica. “Hold up. Can you run this video first? I’d like to see how this guy moves.”
Ultimate Fear (Book 2 Ultimate CORE) (CORE Series) Page 23
