by K E Osborn
Well, that’s not on. I need some air. It’s the middle of the day, so none of the minions should be here for tonight’s show, and I need to be outside. Get some normality back into my life, so I leave via the fire exit of the Moody Theatre and walk outside. I notice Mike the security guard follow me outside the venue and over to a park bench. I storm across with Mike in tow and sit down breathing out forcefully, letting out all my pent up rage. Mike stands next to me at the end of the bench and doesn’t say anything, but is merely there guarding me like he’s supposed to.
“Why are men so stupid?” I ask him and he looks at me and grins.
“Is this a trick question, Miss Ella?”
“No, I just want to know why men are such immature dumb jackasses?”
“Because men don’t have the same brain capacity like women do to think and react rationally to some situations, especially when it comes to matters of the heart.”
I throw my hands in the air and exhale. “Exactly! See, you get it, why don’t they?”
He chuckles. “Well, if you promise not to get me sacked…it might be because they’re rock stars. In my experience, rock stars are highly emotional people.”
“I know, right! God, I don’t get why he would think that Chad is in love with me, or why he should even care. We’re not even officially a couple, he’s made that perfectly clear himself. So what the actual fuck?” I say loudly and then groan in annoyance as Mike chuckles.
“Miss Ella, is there someone you’d like me to call for you, or somewhere you’d like me to take you. I don’t think we should stay out here for too long.”
I stand up, straighten out my dress and exhale. “No, thank you. I think I’m okay now. Thanks for letting me vent, and thank you for following me out that was kind of you. I would’ve hated for some of those nasty minions to have found me. I wasn’t thinking, I let me temper rule my mind,” I say as we make our way back to the Moody Theatre. Mike smiles as we walk inside and he takes his position back at the exit. I continue down the hall and accidentally bump into Chad so I quickly grab his arm. He looks at me with dull eyes and huffs.
“What Ella?” he asks and I furrow my brows.
“Don’t take that tone with me, Chad. I’m your friend, you’ve known me your whole life. You might have been asked to stay away from me by Danger, but I’m telling you now that isn’t going to happen and I had nothing to do with it. You’re part of my life and I love having you in it. The last couple of months without you has been weird and upsetting. Yeah, you’ve been around for the band, but you’ve always been there for me and lately you haven’t. I don’t know the reason and I don’t need to know the reason. But it stops now, do you hear me? No more bullshit cock size competitions between you and Danger. You’re both in my life, so work together or both get the hell out of it. Got it?” I say and Chad raises an eyebrow and smirks.
“Bossy Ella, I like this side of you. It’s actually a turn on,” he says.
“Eww Chad, stop!” I say, but secretly the thought of turning him on makes my insides quiver with excitement.
“Ella, like I always say, I’m here for you. Just keep your hound off me and we’ll be okay,” he says and I nod.
“Don’t worry, he’ll know his place, I assure you.” Anger surges through me when I think of Danger and the trouble he’s caused.
“Well, that’s good to know.” He leans in kissing my forehead. “I just want you to be happy, you know?” I’m a little taken aback, it’s such a sweet thing to say.
“Well, I want you to be happy too, Chad.”
“Just make sure that you are happy because seeing you happy is what makes me happy.”
I smile and nod linking my arm with his. “Okay deal. Wanna go play Xbox?”
I look at him and nod as we walk toward the green room.
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you that Danger warned me off. You seemed happy with him and I didn’t want to interfere with that,” he says.
I tense up thinking of how much Danger has betrayed my trust. “It’s okay. I can see how it put you in a tough spot. But please, don’t stop being my friend because of a stupid misunderstanding. I miss you too much to go that long again without you,” I say and he smiles and pulls me to his side.
“I missed you too, chimichurri,” he says.
I laugh hard. I’ve completely missed his condiment name calling over the last two months. We go to the green room and spend the rest of the afternoon together, just being friends and having fun. I’ve missed him so much. I don’t want to see Danger or have him anywhere near me at the moment, I’m too angry with him.
The hours fly by quickly, and it’s just about time for Recoil to head out onto the stage to perform. I figure I should probably rip this off like a Band-Aid. I’ve let it go on for long enough, so I begin the walk down and wait by the side of the stage to see Danger. He spots me, opening his eyes wide and grabs hold of my shoulders upon reaching me.
“Where have you been, I’ve been looking for you?” he asks sounding panicked.
“I was hanging out with Chad,” I say and he raises an eyebrow. “What! That’s okay, right? Seeing as he’s just my friend. We spoke about this Danger. I’m not telling you again—”
“Okay, I get it, I get it. He’s a friend. It’s just I know he has a hard on for you. Why can’t you see that?” Danger says and I roll my eyes.
“Danger, Chad does not like me like that. Do you have to be so crude? We’ve grown up together, it would be weird. Plus, you’re my…whatever the hell we are. So he knows, even if he did have feelings that I’m out of bounds. You have nothing to worry about.”
He exhales and slumps his body. “I don’t like it,” he says and I shrug.
“Honestly, I don’t care. Chad is my friend, and if you can’t handle us being friends then I can’t handle being your…whatever I am.”
“Okay, I get it. I’ll back off, but if he touches you—”
“He won’t—”
“He better not.”
Leaning in toward Danger and grabbing his shirt collar, I pull him to me so our lips are barely touching. “He won’t, I’m yours,” I reiterate. He leans forward crashing his lips to mine and wrapping his body around me holding me tightly to him. After a day of fighting, I just want to go back to being with each other. I pull back and look into his blue eyes, they’re sparkling with intense lust.
“I’m still angry with you,” I say and he frowns.
“I know, I’m sorry. I know now I did the wrong thing. Telling Chad to back off was a dick move. But Ella, I want you to myself,” he says and I shake my head.
“Still doesn’t give you the right to tell my best friend to stop being my friend.”
“I know. I’m an ass and I’m really sorry. I know you’re good friends, I just hate that he’s known you that long. He has so many years on me.”
“Danger, I’m yours. Just yours.”
He smirks and rests his forehead against mine. “After your set, I want to take you somewhere in this building, I don’t care where, but I need to be inside of you, sugar,” he whispers in my ear. Then bites on my earlobe tugging firmly while groping my arse cheek. He leans in taking my lips forcefully and then finishes with a bite to my bottom lip. I giggle at his playful act of dominance. He lets me go and looks at me waiting for my approval. I nod, and he runs up onto the stage to his awaiting fans.
I wrap my arms around my body trying to stop myself from bursting out all over the place in excitement. I feel so alive around Danger. He has me combusting on the spot, and I’m not sure if the hairs standing up on my arms are from him being near or from the thought of what’s going to happen after I get off the stage tonight, but either way I’m excited. I turn and make my way back to the Staked green room to get ready noticing Chad standing back and watching me. He halfheartedly smiles, so I walk over to him.
“How much did you see?” I ask and he lets out a contained laugh.
“All of it,” he says sounding more deflated than I th
ink he wanted to let on.
“Look, I know you’re worried about me, but I’m okay…really. As long as you two get along that’s all that matters to me,” I say and he exhales and swallows hard.
“Why do you have to have sex with him? He looks filthy,” he teases.
I laugh and slap his chest. “Why do you have to have sex with groupies? They look worse,” I say and he furrows his brows.
“I do not have sex with groupies!”
I raise my eyebrow and smirk. “Really?”
He looks away from me and shakes his head. “No, I call them admirers,” he explains and I laugh, but behind my laugh is a sudden wave of jealousy and it takes me by surprise. He looks at me and raises an eyebrow at my sudden change in demeanor.
“You okay?” he asks taking my hand in his. A shock wave flows through his hand and into mine, and suddenly I think what if the feelings I felt before were because Chad was here. Danger had gone, he’s on stage, so why did I have that feeling flow over me like I wanted to combust.
Could it be because Chad was near?
Holy Shit!
I take my hand from Chad and look into his eyes and then I see it, the flash of something more than friendship, the flash of allure and lust. I know that look because that’s what I see in Danger’s eyes.
“Shit!” I say out loud.
“What’s going on in that head of yours?” he asks bringing his hand up to touch my forehead, but I flinch out of the way and take a step back.
“I have to go,” I say and start to walk away.
“Ella?” Chad calls out and begins to follow me.
“Chad, I need some space, okay?” I call back and turn around to face him and show him that I’m completely serious. He looks at me, stops in his tracks and watches as I turn around and walk toward our green room with a confused head and a sinking feeling in my gut.
I make it back to our green room with my heart rate spiking, my breathing rapid and my mind racing with thoughts.
Chad likes me!
At least I think that’s what I just saw.
This is bad!
No wonder Danger reacted the way he did. I have no idea how to act around Chad now. I guess the only real thing I can do is avoid him?
But I don’t want to.
He’s my friend!
But at the same time I don’t want to lead him on either, not at all. I have no idea how to handle this. I’m with Danger. Well, we’re not officially a couple, but I’m not going to be with anyone other than him and, to be honest, I have no idea how this makes me feel. I thought it would gross me out.
Chad’s like a brother, isn’t he?
So shouldn’t I feel weirded out by this new enlightenment? But instead I feel odd like I’m completely confused. My head is spinning and my nerves are completely wreaking havoc inside my body. I walk across to the bench in the green room and over to the fruit platters to start my nervous eating demolition. I pick up a strawberry and chew on it quickly trying to wrap my head around this situation. I can’t even really taste the fruit as I swallow each piece. I know I have to go on stage shortly, and that will mean being near Chad and performing with him, so I need to sort myself out – and now. Plus, he could walk in here at any given moment so I need to keep calm.
I hear talking so I look to the door as I shove another piece of cantaloupe into my mouth. I watch Amber and Aston walk in and take a seat on the lounge talking about something. They don’t even look at me and it doesn’t register what they’re saying, so I go back to my nervous eating. My mind starts to conjure images of Chad leaning in to kiss me and my heart rate spikes a notch. I close my eyes and clench them tightly shut trying to rid the images as I chew vigorously on the fruit. His lips meet mine and my stomach starts to flutter with butterflies but churn at the same time. I feel sick and giddy, it’s making my head spin. Chad’s lips finally touch mine and I go to swallow, but it’s so hard to actually swallow the fruit down my throat that I start to choke. I open my eyes wide and cough loudly. Aston turns to face me and I cough again while panicking and try to breathe at the same time, but nothing is happening.
“Fuck, Ella.” Aston races over and jumps in behind me as my eyes start to water and I cough some more. He wraps his arms around my stomach and pulls his hands back into my tummy forcefully in an attempt at the Heimlich maneuver and thankfully the piece of cantaloupe dislodges and flies out of my mouth and falls to the floor. My eyes water and I cough frantically, then hunch over trying to inhale as much air as I can get into my lungs.
“Shit, Ella, are you okay?” Aston asks as Amber rushes over and pats my back.
“Should I call a medic?” Amber asks.
I shake my head as the tears flow down my face and Aston pulls me in for a hug.
“Ella, can you talk?” he asks.
I embrace him tightly, not only needing comfort from him with regards to my stupid choking to death incident but also from my confused state.
“Hey, shh, it’s okay. You’re okay,” he says while picking me up and carrying me over to the lounge to sit down.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper. My throat is a little sore and dry.
“As long as you’re okay, that’s all that matters. Do you need a medic to look at you?” he asks still holding onto me and I shake my head.
“No, I’m okay. I can breathe fine now. It was just scary that’s all,” I reply as I wipe the tears away from my cheeks. It feels good to cry, I think I needed to let some of the frustration out, and I’m sure they’re more from my confusion than from choking, that just helped bring them along.
“Can you play, or do we need to cancel tonight? And don’t feel pressured Ella, we can cancel if we need to,” Aston says.
I look at him and smile as he takes my hand and holds it tightly. I shake my head. “No, really, I’m fine.”
“Okay, well, maybe lay off the fruit for now?”
I look back at the practically empty tray of fruit and nod. “Yeah, if it doesn’t give me an upset belly it will choke me to death. Man, this nervous eating habit is the worst,” I say and Aston chuckles.
“Are you sure you don’t want a medic to check you over? Or do you want me to get your Mum or someone?”
“No, I’m fine, really. You saved me, thank you. I don’t know what I would’ve done if you weren’t here,” I say leaning in hugging him. He hugs me back and wipes a stray tear from my cheek.
“I’m just glad you’re okay.”
“And thanks, Amber. Sorry if I scared you.”
“No, it’s okay. I’m just glad Aston was here to save you. He’s a hero,” she says while smiling like she’s madly in love with him. I cringe slightly and internally roll my eyes at the sight, thinking about my sister and how she’d hate the fact that another woman is lusting all over Aston. But I can’t hate Amber right now, she helped in her own small way. I choked on fruit thinking about kissing Chad, this is ridiculous. I need to avoid him at all costs!
Aston stayed and distracted me from my thoughts of Chad until it was time for us to go on stage. Luckily Chad didn’t come into the green room obviously giving me the space I needed, which I was grateful for.
Aston and I are making our way down to the stage area to get ready to perform, and I know Chad will be there and I will see him. My heart rate is back up and my palms are sweating. I’m nervous and I feel like crying all over again, but I can’t. I must put on my game face for the fans and be switched on ready to rock, and not put my personal drama on stage or on show for everyone to see. I need to be professional about this.
As I walk up to the staging area, I hear Recoil finishing their set and getting ready to come off stage. I’m excited that I’ll see Danger before I go on stage. Hopefully, he can cheer me up a bit. I walk into the backstage area and see Chad straight away. He’s talking to Annie and Caleb, and it feels like all the air in the room is filled with electricity and is electrifying me to the spot. Every ounce of me is vibrating and shaking with nervous tension, and I have no id
ea how to stop it. I take a deep breath and try to calm myself, and as I attempt to take another step forward Chad turns and looks at me.
It’s like time stops still and I can’t move at all.
I’m stuck to the spot and I’m motionless.
Nothing is working, my brain, my lungs, my heart, nothing is functioning. It has all stopped. Chad slowly turns his lips up into a smile as he looks at me, and then when he smiles the brightest smile I’ve seen from him in a long time, everything kicks back into gear. My lungs fill with air as my heart thumps ferociously. My body begins to function again and it’s like the only thing that was missing was him. I can’t stop the smile that forms on my face as I look back at him. The feelings flowing through my body right now are making me feel more alive than I ever thought possible.
I had no idea I could feel like this.
Maybe a near-death experience will do that to you, make you see things in a new light? Suddenly a pair of arms wrap around me lifting me up off the ground, and I’m being swirled around in a circle forcing my vision of Chad to blur and I lose focus on him. I grip onto the biceps holding me and squeal with the force of the twirl. I’m placed back on the ground and I don’t have time to register before a set of lips are thrust onto mine. I open my eyes wide to see Danger kissing me and I relax slightly and ease into the kiss. The warmth of his kiss and the familiarity of his lips on mine brings me back to earth and I relish the contact. Everything inside me calms down to its normal pace, and I feel more like my usual self. He pulls back and looks at me smiling.
“Hey sugar, you look so beautiful. But your eyes are a little puffy, have you been crying?” he asks and I think it’s best not to lie.
“I might have had a small choking incident with a piece of fruit.”
His eyes open wide and he frowns. “What? Seriously? You choked? Are you, okay?” he asks rubbing his hands up and down my arms in comfort and then pulling me to his chest. I can feel his racing heart. “Seriously, are you okay?” he asks sounding terrified as he pulls back and caresses my face.
“I’m okay, Aston helped me. It was nothing really. I’m fine, I promise. Just made my eyes water a bit,” I say and he shakes his head and exhales forcefully.
