by K E Osborn
“Thanks,” I say sarcastically.
“Anytime,” she says helping me up.
As I board the new jet which is so different to the only jet I’ve been on my entire life, my nerves are through the roof and everyone is quiet. Mum is silently crying as Dad comforts her, and I walk on to see Chad sitting by himself. I decide I don’t want him to be alone on this journey home, so I go and sit down next to him.
“Is it okay for me to sit here?” I ask and he looks at me and nods. “How are your brothers?” I ask and Chad shrugs. I bite my bottom lip at the tension between us. So I sit back in my chair and say nothing further. I just want to be here for him. Even if that means it’s in utter silence.
The plane ride was long and arduous and every little bump was torture and had us all on edge. Chad didn’t talk for almost the whole fifteen hours and it broke my heart that he’s hurting so much and he won’t let me in.
We finally arrive at the airport and Mum, Dad, and I are staying at Chad’s house with him and his brothers in London for now, until we can figure out what’s going to happen with Carter and Carlton. Chad is old enough to take up guardianship of them, but he might not want to. So if he doesn’t, or isn’t capable of doing that, then we’re going to have to figure out who will look after the twins until their eighteen. I know Mum and Dad are seriously thinking about taking them on. Sia would’ve wanted that, but it would mean moving them an hour and a half away from their home, friends and family, and after the life adjustment they’ve already had it would be a big change for the boys.
We arrive at Chad’s house and we all walk inside. The twins are so quiet just like their brother, which is so surreal because the twins are never quiet. This whole situation is crazy, and as we walk into their house and see the photos of Dingo and Sia lining the hallway, I bite my bottom lip as we make our way to the kitchen.
“I’ll make us something to eat,” Mum says as Dad brings the bags in and Chad and the boys sit down at the table. I move in and sit down next to Chad. I can see he’s shaking and I want to help him so I reach out under the table to his hand on his leg and lace my fingers with his. He looks at me and his breathing hitches like he’s trying to hold himself together. It brings tears to my eyes. He takes a deep breath and holds my hand tightly and it soothes me to know he doesn’t absolutely hate me.
“I know no one wants to think about this, but we need to start thinking about what we want to do for the funerals,” Dad says. Carter begins to cry as Carlton pushes his chair back and runs out of the kitchen and upstairs, I guess to his room. “Sorry Carter, maybe I shouldn’t talk about this in front of you and your brother,” Dad says and Carter shakes his head.
“No, it’s okay, we know they’re dead. We know there’s going to be a funeral. It’s just so hard to know they’re never coming back. I only had them for twelve years. It’s not fair,” he says and Chad sniffs and inhales sharply.
“No, it’s not fair bro, none of this is fair,” Chad says.
I tighten my grip on his hand.
“Why don’t you go to your room and have a sleep, I’m sure the jet lag will kick in soon and when you wake up you might feel a little better?” Chad says trying to comfort his little brother.
Carter nods and stands up as we all watch him. “Chad,” he whispers.
“Yeah, mate?”
“Please don’t die, I don’t want to lose you too,” he says.
My chest constricts and I inhale sharply as Chad stands up and walks over to his little brother wrapping his good arm around him. “I’m not going anywhere, you understand me? You, me, and Carlton, we’re sticking together forever, okay?” he says and I wipe a tear falling down my cheek.
“Promise?” Carter asks.
“Promise, now go get some sleep. I’ll be right here if you need me, okay?”
Carter nods and hugs Chad tightly and Chad kisses him on his head.
“I love you, bro,” Chad says as Carter walks off.
“Love you too,” Carter says and walks out of the kitchen and up to his room.
I sniff and so does Mum as we both wipe tears from our cheeks.
“Fucking hell,” Chad says running his hand through his hair and walking back to the table. “How am I supposed to tell them everything is all right when I feel like I’m falling apart?” he asks and Dad looks at Chad and shakes his head.
“It’s okay to fall apart Chad, that’s why we’re all here to be your support. You don’t have to be strong all the time,” Dad says.
I smile and nod as Mum continues to fuss about the kitchen.
“I’ve never even been to a funeral let alone plan one, I mean two. I don’t even know where to start,” Chad says rubbing his face in a frustrated motion. I put my hand on his knee for support.
“Don’t worry, I’ll help you with everything. I’ll even arrange it all if you don’t want to do any of it. It’s up to you Chad, whatever you need,” Dad says and I smile at him.
“Thank you guys, I don’t know what I would do without you,” Chad says. Then he looks at me and places his hand on top of mine on his knee and entwines our fingers again.
After lengthy discussions about funerals and ideas about what might happen with the twins, we all decided that we needed to head to bed. Mum and Dad are staying in the guest room and I’m going to take up position on the lounge suite. But right now, I’m walking Chad to his room. I just want to make sure he’s okay.
“Well, this is you,” I say as we reach his door.
“Yeah, thanks for today. Sorry, I’ve been all over the place,” he says and pulls me to him for a hug.
I exhale in relief to be finally touching him, and I embrace him back tightly and nuzzle into him. “You’re allowed to be all over the place, I just wish there was something I could do to help ease your pain.”
“There is,” he suggests and I look up at him and he swallows hard.
“There is?” I question and he nods.
“Stay with me tonight?” he asks and my heart starts to flutter.
“Are you sure that’s what you really want?” I ask and he exhales and nods.
“I’m sorry for what I said in Hawaii. You’ve been such a great support since we’ve been back. I just don’t want to be alone and I need to hold you if you let me?” he asks.
“Of course…I ended it with Danger. We broke up in Hawaii,” I say and he opens his eyes wide and his mouth drops open like he’s shocked and then his lips turn into a slight smile.
I smile in return and lean up and kiss his cheek noticing his breathing is rushed. As I pull back, he grabs my head with his good hand and pulls me to him kissing me forcefully. I’m shocked by his sudden action and the spark in the kiss doesn’t go unnoticed, but I don’t want to rush things with him. So I pull back panting and look into his lust filled eyes.
“You’re grieving and I don’t want to take advantage of you right now,” I say and he shakes his head as he breathes heavily.
“I need to not feel pain. I want to feel good, and you’re the only thing in my life that’s good at the moment,” he says.
My stomach twists and my heart starts to pound ferociously. I look into his eyes and I want to take his pain away, and if this is a way to it then I’m going to do it for him. I move into him pressing my body against his completely and run my hands through his hair pulling his mouth to mine. I part my lips letting his tongue in and in his usual gentle yet passionate way, Chad kisses me and I feel like I’m finally home. He starts to move us toward his door and we move through it and kicks it closed. Pulling his shirt up over his head, it gets caught on his cast and I giggle against his mouth as I pull back from kissing him and help pull the shirt off his arm. He moves in and tries to pull my shirt off but he’s struggling with one hand, so I help him along and then move in to take off my bra so he doesn’t have to. His eyes move down to my breasts and he smiles.
“You’re so astonishingly beautiful, you literally take my breath away, hot sauce,” he says making me giggle.
I move in and unzip his jeans and they fall to the floor. He steps out of them and his shoes, leaving him in his usual grey brief shorts. I make quick work of removing my jeans and shoes and then move back in because I need to be kissing him. I run my hands through his hair as our lips connect and he moans slightly as I feel his erection forming against my thigh. The chemistry sizzling through the air is burning me up. I’m aching between my legs and it’s all for Chad. I move in and pull at his briefs sliding them over his arse and down his legs. They fall to the floor as our tongues collide. I move my hands back to my panties and shuffle out of them leaving us both completely naked. I move back in so our bodies join together. Feeling his hot skin against mine is what I’ve been craving. And it’s every bit as perfect as I remember. My heart is racing and three words keep running over and over in my head so I feel like I need to say it.
“Chad, I need to say something,” I blurt out breaking our kiss.
He breathes heavy and looks down at me and nods. “Okay,” he says and I look into his eyes running my hands through his hair.
“I love you,” I tell him and he smiles brightly catching his breath. “I mean, really love you, like walk over hot coals, lay down my life, you’re every-fucking-thing to me type of love you,” I say repeating the way he told me he loved me.
He sniffs and swallows hard. “It’s about fucking time,” he says and pushes his lips to mine making me giggle against his lips. He pulls back and looks me in the eyes. “I love you too. I always have, with all of me Ella. Every part of me is in love with you,” he says making me smile.
I run my hands up his shoulders and move in kissing him strongly, as I move him back toward the bed. He steps backward and takes my hint wrapping his good arm around my waist. I figure he won’t be able to support his weight with his broken arm, so I’m going to have to be on top, but I don’t mind. I push him onto the bed and he falls back with a salacious grin and shuffles up along the bed.
“I like Ella in charge, this is a good side of you,” he says and I grin.
“Well, lay back and enjoy. I want to make you feel good,” I say and he smiles as I kneel on the bed and move over straddling him.
“I know you’ll make me feel good,” he says as I move over the top of him and lean down kissing him. He runs his uninjured hand up along my naked back as I grind my pussy into his groin. He groans into my mouth and my clit is aching so badly I don’t even want to get worked up for this, I want to get straight into making love with him. I’ve waited long enough to be joined with Chad again. I’m still on the pill, and I don’t want to wait to get a condom. So I sit back up and move my hand down to his cock. He looks at me and runs his hand up my thigh. I move up and position his cock under me and look into his eyes as I slowly ease onto him. We both moan out in pleasure as my body joins with his. My hands move to his chest and I start to move my hips up and down on top of him. The sweet friction is making me feel emotional, being joined with Chad again I realise is all my heart ever wanted and now it’s actually happening, it’s just so perfect. His hand runs up my side and to my breast and he massages softly, but enough for it to be pleasurable. I let my head fall back as I ride him and work us both up.
His hand moves down my centre and straight between my legs to my clit, and I moan as he presses harder and it sends a shock wave straight through me. My body awakens at his touch and every molecule inside me bursts to life. I ride him feeling the warmth encapsulate me as the tingle starts to build at the base of my spine and then works its way through me. My body begins to tense up and I feel my climax building.
“Come for me, baby,” Chad says and I start to shake as he rotates on my clit harder and I moan out his name. Pushing down on him harder, my breathing hitches as my body coats in a fine mist of sweat. My eyes clench tightly as I see flashes of blinding light. I’m shaking as the heat engulfs me and I moan loudly. My nails dig into his chest as he rotates again and I push down on him, the sensation hits me strong and so fast it’s like a freight train pummelling through me at a high speed. It knocks the wind from me and I explode in an immense orgasm as I ride Chad. He groans as he works me down from my high. I’m panting and I feel a little dizzy, but I keep moving because I want him to feel as good as I just have.
My nails ease away from his chest and I begin to ride him at a faster pace bringing him closer to the edge. I want him to feel good, so I gather myself and put all my effort into making it happen for him.
“I love you, Chad,” I murmur and he groans and tenses his body.
“Say it again,” he says clenching his eyes shut like he’s right on the edge.
“I love you,” I repeat and he breathes heavy and starts to move with me, really getting into it. He groans louder tensing his body. His fingers dig into my hip as he helps me with my movements.
“Again,” he demands.
“I’m in love with you,” I say pushing down harder on him.
He tenses and moans as his body convulses and he pauses unloading himself inside of me with a drawn out moan.
“Oh, fuck Ella, you're incredible. I fucking love you too,” he says and I lean down and kiss him languidly as we both breathe harshly through our noses needing oxygen.
I pull back and look into his eyes and he looks at me through hooded love-filled eyes and he smiles. “Thank you,” he says and I caress his cheek and smile.
“For what?”
“For finally loving me back,” he says and I smile leaning in kissing him passionately.
Mum and Dad had noticed I haven’t been staying on the lounge suite at night, instead opting to remain in Chad’s room. They didn’t say anything, but I realised I should tell them what was happening with Danger. I filled them in about the break-up, and that Danger was keeping the house and then I asked them if I could move back in. They welcomed me back, of course, but they just needed to make sure through all this chaos that I was okay. Which I am. Dad was unusually upset about my break-up with Danger. Dad and Danger had become quite good mates, and he was actually devastated that he wouldn’t be around anymore. Considering how their relationship started out it was a big leap. But he understood, and told me not to rush into anything. I knew what he was referring to but my heart was always Chad’s, so to me, I don’t feel like I’m rushing at all. It just feels right and what I should have done a long time ago.
The funerals were beautiful and Chad was strong, so were Carter and Carlton. It was amazing to watch just how tough they were. I stood by Chad the whole time holding his hand while he said goodbye to both his parents. The other members of Slayed, however, were not so resolute. Uncle Hux and Dad were a real mess, and Johnny was trying hard to keep it together but failed. Slayed never played their final concert. But Dad has talked to Chad about doing a farewell concert at some stage, way into the future, and having Chad play in Dingo’s place. Chad cried and said he would be honoured. I was so happy Dad thought about it, and as far as I was concerned it was a great idea. It would be a way for the fans to say goodbye, and a way for Slayed and for Chad to honor Dingo.
We get back to Chad’s house and the boys walk inside and straight up to their rooms. They spend most of their time there now. Dad walks up to Chad and slaps him on the shoulder. “Okay, so we’ve got some talking to do. I know today has been horrific, but we need to start thinking about what the future holds and what you want to do. Lia and I need to get back to the Manor soon, but we can stay for another week or so until you’ve figured out what you’d like to do with the house and the boys. If you want to stay here and look after them yourself, we will support you in every way possible, you know that. Or if you want to move closer to us so we can help you out with the boys, we will assist you with that too. But the choice is totally yours, and it’s a decision only you can make,” he says and Chad nods taking a deep breath.
I grab his hand and squeeze letting him know I’m here for him. “Thanks, Colt. Thank you for organising the funerals, and thanks for helping with my brothers. Thank you for everything,” he
says and Dad smiles.
“You’re like a son to me, Chad. I’ll be here no matter what,” Dad replies as he turns and walks into the kitchen leaving me with Chad.
Chad looks at me and I smile up at him.
“How are you doing?” I ask and he shrugs.
“I don’t know, I’m so confused. Can we go to my room and talk?” he asks.
“Of course,” I say and he tightens his grip in my hand and make our way to his room sitting down on the edge of his bed.
“Talk to me, tell me what’s confusing you?” I ask and he exhales and turns his head looking me in the eyes.
“I need to know where we go from here?” he asks and I smile and caress his cheek.
“I’m in, I’m all in. Nearly losing you on the jet made me realise that you’re a must in my life. I’m willing to go the whole hog with you when you’re feeling ready,” I say and he smiles and exhales.
“Are you sure, because I don’t want you to choose Danger again if he comes around in a year wanting you back—”
“That won’t happen, and even if he did come back, I belong to you now. I always did, I was just too stupid to realise it,” I say honestly.
“Well, that’s certainly nice to hear,” he says and leans in kissing me softly. Pulling back he looks me in the eyes. “If you really are in this with me, then I have an idea of what I’d like to do and I want to run it by you.”
“Yeah, sure,” I say.
“So, I think being in this house and being so far away from you is going to be too hard,” he says and I nod in understanding.
“Okay, so do you want me to come and stay here?” I ask and he shakes his head.
My chest tightens at the thought that maybe he doesn’t want this as much as I do.
“I think I should sell this house, and me and the boys should move to Oxfordshire. I know I’d be taking them away from their school and their friends, but they can make new friends, and anyway I think I’ll contact your old teacher Susan about home schooling them. I don’t want them out there for the paparazzi field day that will follow them everywhere now.”
