Find Me

by Laurelin Paige

  JC showed up to pull me away. “Gwen, the car’s waiting.”

  “Okay.” I gripped my bouquet and headed toward the limo without looking back, afraid that if I did, I wouldn’t be able to keep going forward.

  At the car, a familiar face greeted me. “Hi, Drew.”

  “Congratulations on your wedding,” he said, opening the door for me.

  “Thank you. If I had any question about what happens next, it’s been answered by the fact that you’re driving our limo.”

  He laughed. “Oh, I’m not driving. But yes. I’m navigating.”

  “I’m guessing The Sky Launch isn’t a planned stop on our way out of town?”

  “I’m afraid not.”

  I sighed. “I’m not complaining. I’m glad to be included this time.”

  “I am too. Trust me.”

  I climbed into the back seat of the car, scooting toward the opposite door to leave room for JC.

  “You ready?” Drew asked my husband before he got in.

  “Finally got everything I need.” He glanced in at me, and I realized he was talking about me. “Thanks for bringing me back for her. Hope it wasn’t too much trouble.”

  “You’re too much trouble, JC. She’s not. Get in.”

  As soon as the door closed behind him, I was ready. I gathered every ounce of strength I had and, using both hands, shoved JC against the opposite wall of the car. “You asshole!”

  “What?”

  He had some nerve pretending not to know why I was mad. I grabbed my bouquet from the seat next to me and hit him with it. Three times. “You left me! You fucking left me!” I hit him once more.

  He put his hands up to block my assault. “But I came back.”

  I was vaguely aware of the car pulling away from the curb, too focused on my attack. “That doesn’t make up for you leaving in the first place! I’ve been a wreck. You destroyed me, Justin. How could you do that to me?” I’d thought I was done beating him, but it felt so good, I began to pummel him with my fists, leaving the bouquet at my side.

  This time, JC grabbed my wrists, holding them so that I couldn’t strike again. “I know. I know. I’m a horrible person.” He slid closer to me, his eyes sparkling. “A horrible person who’s horribly in love.”

  I struggled out of his grasp and folded my arms across my chest. “Don’t even try to charm your way out of this. I’m pissed. In fact, you’re lucky that I didn’t know you were here today until everyone was lined up, or I’m not sure there would have been a wedding.”

  “Don’t say that. I can’t bear it.”

  “You can’t bear it? What about me? Did you stop to think about me at all?” My voice was shrill, and I wouldn’t have been surprised to find out that the driver and Drew could hear me, even though the window was closed between us.

  “You were all I was thinking about.” He leaned toward me to kiss my shoulder. “And I was wrong. I admit it. I was totally wrong. You can spend the rest of our lives reminding me of that. Mrs. Bruzzo.”

  “JC!” The seductive smile he wore was infuriating. “I’m not done being mad! I hope there’s a couch in the room where we’re staying tonight, because I’m seriously not sure I want you in my bed.”

  “I’ll sleep on the floor tonight and every night as long as you tell me you still love me.” He trailed his fingers up and down my arm, causing goose bumps to rise on my traitorous body.

  I turned my head away from him. “I’m not telling you what you want to hear.”

  “Come on. Tell me.” He slid toward me, closing the remaining distance between us. “Do you still love me?” He nibbled at my neck, then licked along the shell of my ear.

  I shivered, my insides turning into mush. Dammit, he was too enticing.

  Frustrated, I twisted my head toward him, forcing him to pause his seduction routine. “Of course, I still love you, you arrogant prick. It wouldn’t have hurt if I didn’t love you so goddamned much.”

  His face lit up, his expression so enchanting that I didn’t protest when he gathered me into his arms and pressed his forehead against mine. “I’m a total douche. And I don’t deserve you. But you make me happier than I’ve ever been, even when you’re hating on me.”

  I played with his bowtie, trying to ignore how intoxicatingly fabulous he smelled. “Then I have to work on how I display my anger, because I want you miserable.”

  “You’re so adorable when you’re mad.” He stroked his thumb across my lips.

  I was already pressed up against the door, but I leaned as far away from him as I could. “Don’t.”

  He captured my hand and brought it to his lips, kissing my palm. “Adorable.” He kissed it again. “And sexy.” Once more. “And did I tell you how beautiful you looked walking down that aisle?”

  “Stop it.” I yanked my hand away, but my voice had begun to lack its fight.

  “I had chills. I swear. There you were, the most incredible thing in the universe, willing to spend her life letting me love her.”

  I met his eyes, eyes that adored me so intensely. “Spend my life giving you my wrath is more like it.” My anger had dwindled.

  But I didn’t want it to be gone just yet. There was still too much I had to say. I wrapped my arms around myself again and mustered up another round. “I still can’t believe you. Did you really for a second think I’d be better off raising a child on my own than somewhere safe and secure with you?”

  His smile faded and he grew somber. “That was shitty on my part. I have no excuse except to say that I really did think you’d be better off without me around. Safer. That gunshot just came too close to you, and all I could think about was what if…? I didn’t really consider how I’d be leaving you alone to raise a baby. Not that you couldn’t have done it.”

  He lowered his gaze. “And you would have had help. Chandler would provide an entire staff to assist you if you’d asked.” He meant that last line to come across as teasing, but I heard bitterness layered in his tone.

  I exploited it. “You know, Chandler offered himself again. Met me outside our condo Friday night to declare his love.”

  His jaw tightened. “You’re trying to make me jealous. It’s working.”

  Damn right I was. “Even knowing it wasn’t his kid, he still wanted me. You’re lucky I didn’t take advantage of his blind infatuation.”

  He sat back against the seat, his forehead creased. “‘Knowing it wasn’t his kid?’ What do you mean?”

  Oh. Damn. He still didn’t know. How could he not know? “Didn’t you get any of my messages?”

  “I ditched my phone. What was your message?”

  “It was several messages. And they said a lot of things.” A lot of curse words, actually. “Including that the test results had come in. I thought that was why you came back.”

  “I came back for you. What did the results say?” His expression was anxious, his focus intense.

  “They said that Chandler’s not the father.” I was still appalled that JC didn’t know that before now. “Are you telling me Drew didn’t say anything?”

  “Not a word.”

  “Goddammit. How do I roll down the window?” I began searching for the button to lower the privacy screen but stopped when I caught sight of JC’s ear-to-ear grin.

  Then I forgot all about what Drew said or didn’t and what JC had known and hadn’t, because I’d been the one who’d gotten to tell him, and that was pretty special. And from the look on his face, he was beyond thrilled.

  “It’s really mine?” he asked, his voice tentative.

  I laced my hands around his neck. “Yes, you fool. I told you it was all along.” But I was smiling too because he was so happy, and really, I was too.

  “I didn’t want to believe it. I was afraid I’d get my hopes up.” He wrapped his arm around my neck and drew me into him. “I meant it when I said I’d love her either way. But I’m so fucking glad this baby is mine.”

  “Me too. So glad.”

  He kissed me, his to
ngue dipping in between my lips, his eyes locked on mine. “I love you, Gwen,” he murmured in between kisses. “I love you so much.”

  I got lost in his embrace, my mouth molding easily to his, my body pressing into him while he kept a protective hand splayed across my belly.

  “I hate to interrupt you two back there…” We jumped apart at the sound of Drew’s voice over the intercom speaker. “But we have a change in travel plans.”

  JC stretched across me and hit a button on the door. Immediately the window between the front and back descended. Oh, that’s where that was.

  “What change?” JC asked, his voice tinged with nervousness, and I wondered if that would be our life now—always jittery, always on edge.

  Drew shifted so he was facing us. “Just got a phone call informing me that Greg Thompson, Steve Stockbridge’s lover, pulled a gun on Ralphio Mennezzo in a restaurant earlier this afternoon. Shot him three times in the head before turning the weapon on himself. Both of them were pronounced dead at the scene.”

  We sat quiet for several seconds while Drew’s words settled around us.

  “Gwen!” JC exclaimed.

  I blinked. “Steve Stockbridge’s lover killed him out of revenge?”

  Drew nodded.

  “And we don’t have to go into hiding? We’re safe?”

  “Unless you have some other enemies I’m not aware of, yeah.” Drew grinned. “You’re good.”

  I squealed then hugged JC so tightly, forgetting about his wound, that he winced. “I’m sorry. I’m just so happy.”

  “I barely even noticed. Is it incredibly wrong to celebrate when two people are dead?”

  I shrugged. “I don’t know, but I’m fully willing to be wrong if you are.”

  “If we’re doing it together, it has to be all right.” His gaze lingered on me for a moment before turning his attention back to Drew. “Is it possible to get this car headed back toward Columbus Circle? We have a reception to attend.”

  “Already on our way.”

  ***

  Our friends harassed us when we finally arrived at The Sky Launch, suggesting we’d been late because we couldn’t wait for the honeymoon. We didn’t tell anyone the real reason we’d been delayed or that Mennezzo had been killed. Though JC and I were ecstatic to finally be free of him, the world would find out soon enough, and we had enough to celebrate without focusing on him.

  The rest of the night was spent being happier than I could ever remember being. Ben and Laynie gave toasts, and Norma snuck me a glass of non-alcoholic champagne so I could participate. After a delicious dinner catered by our new chef, we cut the cake. JC was kind with the bite he fed me. Me, not so much. I smeared his face in buttercream and regretted nothing.

  We separated for a while so we could mingle with our guests accordingly. “Chandler told me to send you both his regards,” Laynie told me when she had me alone. “I hope that’s not strange to bring him up, but he really wanted me to tell you he thought it was best that he didn’t attend.”

  “I understand completely. It was probably a wise decision.”

  “Congratulations,” Hudson said, joining us. He slipped an arm around his wife. “I hear there’s more than one reason to celebrate.”

  There were several, but I knew he was referring to my pregnancy.

  “H,” Laynie chided, “that’s supposed to be a secret.”

  “Marriages don’t have secrets,” he explained. “At least not the good ones.”

  “And ours is pretty damn good,” Laynie said, lifting her chin up to kiss him.

  I feigned disgust, covering my eyes. “Ah, get a room.” I leaned in and lowered my voice. “I hear the bubble rooms are a spectacular place to get it on.”

  “Oh, they are,” Hudson confirmed. “As is the coat room. And the dance floor.”

  Laynie was still giggling when I left them to spend some time with my siblings.

  “So guess what,” Ben said, as I draped an arm over his shoulder. “Eric and I have news.”

  “Do tell.” I slid next to him in his booth.

  “We decided that if you can do the whole marriage thing, we can too. We are officially engaged.”

  “Ah!” I squealed. “I’m so happy! We should announce it!”

  “No, no,” Eric said dismissively. “This night is about you. We don’t want to intrude on it.”

  “We’ll have a party after you get back from your honeymoon and announce it then,” Ben added. “You’ll come?”

  “I wouldn’t miss it for the world.” Silently, I thanked the stars that I’d actually get to be there. I’d almost missed that. How much else would I have missed because JC and I were hiding from Mennezzo? So much that I hadn’t even considered.

  Maybe there was something to my husband’s attempt at being noble. Not that I’d ever admit that to his face. Besides, it should have been my choice. And, as much as I might have missed here, I still would have chosen to leave with JC. What a relief that we didn’t have to go anywhere in the end.

  I kicked at Norma’s shoe under the table. “So that just leaves you, Sissy.” I darted my eyes from her to Boyd, who was sitting at her side. “When are you two going to get hitched?”

  Norma laughed nervously and went bright red, but her lover took it in stride. “Not until we can figure out the office situation,” Boyd said.

  “I know you love working together,” I said, “but you could surely get a job in another department. Isn’t that worth the sacrifice so you can be completely open about your feelings?”

  Boyd and Norma exchanged a glance. “No,” they said in unison.

  I didn’t press. Their relationship was kinky, and I was sure that even if I could understand the balance of power between them, I didn’t want to.

  Besides, it was time for the first dance.

  “My Heart is Open” began playing over the sound system as JC led me onto the floor. Even with all eyes on us, it was good to finally be alone with my husband.

  “I finally have you in my arms,” he said.

  Again, it wasn’t something I was ready to admit. “Cherish the moment. It’s not going to last.”

  He pressed his cheek against mine. “I know I said I’d sleep on the floor tonight—and I totally will—but maybe in between reminding me what a dick I am, you could let me make love to you?”

  The low rasp of his voice had my belly tightening as much as his words. “I’ll think about it.”

  “That’s a yes. You know you can’t resist me. Admit it.”

  “Obviously it’s a fault of mine.”

  “No way. You’re flawless. Absolutely perfect.”

  I leaned back so I could meet his eyes. “You’re being adorable and sexy and, yes, irresistible, but you do understand that I’m serious, don’t you? It’s going to take me a while to get over what you did.”

  “I know.” His face grew solemn. “Do you regret marrying me?”

  “No. But it’s only been four hours. So.”

  “Touché.”

  I cocked my head. “I would have found you, you know. I would have hunted your sorry ass down. What would you have done then?”

  He considered. “I guess I would have done the same thing that I’m doing now. The same thing I always do.”

  “What’s that?”

  “Love you.”

  Despite myself, my breath caught. “Maybe you don’t have to sleep on the floor tonight.”

  “I knew I was irresistible.”

  We stayed on the dance floor long after the DJ had moved on to the next song, our arms wrapped around each other, our lips speaking endearments in both kisses and words, putting aside the negative and cherishing the love we’d found.

  Later, when he caught me gazing at the band that had joined my engagement ring on my left hand, he said, “We’re bound now. Can’t get away. That ring means you’re chained to me for good.”

  “You know what’s funny?” I asked, slipping my hand in his.

  “What?”

 
; “I was just thinking I’d never felt so free.”

  Epilogue

  I have her bent in half, her feet over her head. Her wearable vibrator is buzzing at her clit. She’s into this position lately, and I’m glad. I get to watch her when she comes, watch her fall to pieces.

  She’s there now, about to come. Her panting has halted, and her body has gone rigid. Soon, her orgasm will shudder through her. She’s so beautiful like this—in the moment before, when she knows it’s about to take her over and there’s nothing she can do but brace herself.

  I want to kiss her, but I want to hear her cry out more.

  She doesn’t. Her face contorts and her neck goes taut as she throws her head back in tortured ecstasy, but she remains almost completely silent.

  I’m both impressed and annoyed.

  I look down to watch my cock glide in and out of her, slick now with her cum.

  “You like that,” she whispers, and I dart my eyes back to her face, astonished that she’s speaking. That orgasm ripped her apart. She shouldn’t be able to think, let alone talk.

  But somehow she is.

  “You think it’s hot when I come all over your cock?”

  I really do. And, “God, it’s even hotter when you say it.” So hot, and that’s all I need to hit my own climax. I grunt, uncontrollably grinding against her pelvis as I release into her.

  When I’m completely empty, I fall on the bed beside her and take a moment to catch my breath. “Don’t look so smug.”

  “I won. I have every right to look smug.” We’re still whispering, afraid to break the silence around us.

  “Yeah, well, you cheated.”

  “How?” As easily as she submits to me during sex, she still loves to challenge me otherwise. Even when I have a good argument.

  Which is not now.

  “I don’t know, but I’m sure you did.” I roll to my side and prop my head up with my hand. “I destroyed you. How did you even do that?”

  She can’t help herself, she laughs. “Lots of practice.” She realizes too late, clapping her hand over her mouth.

  “Oh, shit,” I exclaim almost silently.

  We wait, neither of us moving or speaking or breathing. After several seconds, I’m about to call us officially safe when we hear it—a soft, familiar whimper that we both know will quickly escalate to a full-blown wail.