by Smith, Wendy
“Was it that bad?”
Mia shakes her head. “She slept with me. It made it so much easier. I think we’re going to use that Pepi-Pod after all so she can sleep with us.” She twists her lips. “Just as well we have a big bed.”
“Whatever you want, babe. I’m happy.”
She turns back to her bag.
“But you might not be so happy when I tell you what I did last night.”
She turns, her eyes blazing a hole in my forehead. “What did you do?”
“I called your parents.”
Her mouth falls open. “You did what?”
“They disowned you because of Garrett, right? Well, you haven’t been with him for nearly three years, and you just gave birth to their only grandchild.”
Tears well in her eyes. “What did they say?”
“Your dad didn’t know how to deal with it at first. But he took my number, and I have his email. I sent him some photos last night.” I open my arms, enveloping her in them when she walks to me. “I don’t know if anything will come of it, but it felt like the right thing to do.”
“Thank you,” she whispers. “I’m glad you did it. I wasn’t sure if I could find the strength.”
“You know my family is yours, but I had to try it.”
She raises her face, a faint smile on her lips. “I love that you did. You made an effort, James, and that’s more than he ever did.”
“I’d do anything for you, Mia. Never forget that.”
She nods. “So, when do we get married?”
Epilogue
James
Five years later
I hand the mallet to Lily, grinning when she struggles with the weight. “Want a hand?”
“Hell, no.” She laughs.
This could only be her moment. We’ve spent weeks cleaning up, removing the overgrowth that covered this section. Now it’s time to demolish the house, and Lily gets first hit.
“Thank you.” Tears well in her eyes. Despite all the years that have passed, this must be so emotional for her.
“Go for it, babe. Knock that wall down.” Adam places his palm on her back, and she takes a loud, long breath.
“Smack it hard.” Corey winks at her, and she nods.
We back off as she holds up the mallet and swings it.
Crack!
The wooden cladding splinters when she hits it, and the sound echoes over the empty space. She’s far from finished as she lifts the hammer and hits it again. The weight of the mallet seems to disappear as she lifts it, slamming it into the cracking wall over and over until there’s a large hole.
“Babe,” Adam says.
She drops the tool on the ground. Her face is red from the effort, and tears stream down her face.
He wraps his arms around her, and she clings to him. Everyone else falls silent as Lily sobs. Max joins them, his arms around Lily’s waist, and Rose follows suit. Ben, their youngest, tries to wrap his arms around everyone, but ends up in the centre with his mother.
It’s hard to watch, but equally hard to look away.
“Lily, do you want to have a go with the demolition equipment when it gets here?” I ask.
She nods. “You bet.” Sniffing, she laughs, and Adam presses a kiss to her temple. They’ve come so far since he returned, and this has to be cathartic for Lily.
“I’ll give you a call during the week. I’m getting professionals in, but I already asked them if you could have a go with the wrecking ball.”
Her eyes widen. “Seriously?”
I shrug. “They thought a bulldozer would be enough, but I wanted to make it special for you.”
Lily grins. “I’ll pay for the upgrade.”
“It’s not costing a lot extra. And it’ll be more fun this way, so don’t worry about it.”
“Thanks for thinking of my girl.” Adam leans his head on hers.
“To be honest, it sounded like more fun to me too.” I laugh. I can’t wait.
* * *
Ava’s holding court in the middle of the lawn. At eleven, she’s very much the leader of all the Campbell children.
Violet follows her sister everywhere. Drew’s children, Logan, Amelia, and Alexandra, don’t get to see their cousins that often, so they hang onto Ava’s every word. Corey’s kids, Eli, Oscar, and Isla, are right there with them.
The only one missing is my Mackenzie. But she’s at home with Mia while they talk on Skype to Mia’s parents.
Watching the other kids makes me miss her.
We have such a good life here. We’d never planned to stay in Owen’s apartment for five years, but Mackenzie’s arrival threw us for a loop. I’m still at the garage, doing a mechanic apprenticeship with Adam, while Mia’s onto her second text book.
We bought this place a year ago for next to nothing. After looking at all our options, this turned out to be the best one. We’ll level the section and build what we want.
It’s still central. We can walk to Owen’s place, or Lily’s from here. I’m only sorry my mother never got to see this.
She would have loved it. I’m sure all her grandchildren would have distracted her from trying to interfere in her children’s lives.
But at the same time, if she was still alive, I know she would have struggled, in particular with my relationship with Mia. We just celebrated her forty-sixth birthday, and I’m more in love with my wife than ever.
Best of all, she’s happy. I know I contribute to that, but Mia’s thrived from having the freedom to be herself, to not have to look over her shoulder all the time. She’ll never have to do that with me.
“Daddy.”
I turn, and hold my arms open as Mackenzie leaps. Catching her, I twirl around while peppering her face with kisses. “Hey. It’s nice to see you. I thought you were coming later.”
She beams. “We finished our Skype with Nana and Poppa.”
“Did you? Are they good?”
She nods.
“Mum and Dad are fine. They’re excited to come up in a few weeks, check the block of land out.” I can see the nerves in Mia’s eyes. It’s been a long road, rebuilding her relationship with her parents, but now we see each other every few months. Each time feels like we’re getting closer and closer to bridging the gap between us.
“Mackenzie and I wanted to see how you were doing with the demolition.” Mia plants a lingering kiss on my lips, and I swing Mackenzie to my hip to slip my other arm around my wife’s waist. She leans her head on my shoulder.
“Well, Lily made a start. That big hole in the wall belongs to her.”
“Where is she now?”
“She went inside with Adam. I think she wants the chance to say goodbye before it gets knocked down.” I sigh. “This house was such a big part of her life.”
“It’s probably good for her to confront it before it’s destroyed.”
I nod. “I’m so glad we’re the ones doing the destroying.”
“I can’t wait until we have our new house built.”
“Daddy, put me down.” Mackenzie wiggles, and I drop her gently to the ground. She runs toward Ava.
“Being here is so good for her,” Mia says.
“Good for us too.”
Mia moves in front of me, and wraps her arms around my waist. “You’ve given me so much, James. You gave me the family I never thought I’d have.”
I press my forehead to hers. “You two are my everything.”
“I’m only sorry we can’t have any more children.”
I shrug. “Mackenzie’s fine. She’s surrounded by her cousins, and she has two parents who love her and each other. What else does she need?”
Her lips curl into a smile. “I guess you’re right.”
“And soon enough we’ll have a home with plenty of room for her to grow up in.”
Mia shifts her gaze back to the house. “I can’t wait.”
* * *
It’s been a long day.
We haven’t done much in the way of demolition. Givin
g Lily the mallet was symbolic, but such a powerful thing to help her get her past with this place out of her system. She said goodbye to her childhood home, and the place where her mother traumatised her.
Once the house is gone, then Corey and his crew will move in and start construction on our new place. He completed a building apprenticeship, and now he’s running his own little business while his mate, Tim, focuses on Carlstown.
Today was good. We have these family gatherings fairly often, but with us living in Owen’s old flat still, it’s not often that Mia and I host them. Once we have our new house built, it’ll make things easier.
Mackenzie’s fast asleep after an afternoon of running around in the sun with her cousins. She was so tired, she barely made it through dinner. Mia had to put a very tired girl into her pyjamas. She’ll no doubt be up at some ridiculous hour of the morning tomorrow.
When Mia appears in the doorway, I move over on the couch and pat the seat.
“Turn around and face that end of the couch,” she says. She sits sideways, and I follow suit, placing myself between her thighs with my back to her.
Mia massages my shoulders, her gentle hands relaxing me as I lean back.
“Today was good,” I say. “I’m glad we’re building on that property.”
“I can’t wait to get the house built and us moved in. As much as I’ve appreciated having this place for free, the thought of finally being in our own home fills me with joy.”
“Do you know what else can fill you with joy?” Turning, I meet her gaze. One of her eyebrows is raised higher than the other, and she’s got this look on her face that tells me she’s not sure she wants to hear the answer.
“Do I want to know?”
“Me.” I pounce, pushing her back on the couch as she shrieks with laughter.
“Shhh, you’ll wake Mackenzie.” I laugh.
“Nothing is going to wake that child. Trust me.” Her eyes shine with happiness as I lean over to kiss her.
Lifting her legs so she’s lying on the couch, I position myself on top of her.
“What are you doing?” Her tone is full of amusement.
“Loving you.”
She purses her lips. “You’re so good at doing it.”
“You’re so easy to love.”
“Teacher’s pet,” she murmurs right before I plant a kiss on her lips.
“Always.”
Bonus Chapter
Lily
I squeeze Adam’s hand as I take a deep breath and we walk down the stairs together. The house is a mess, but the concrete steps that lead to what used to be my mother’s sewing room are still intact.
My head feels lighter the farther down we go.
“Anytime you want out, tell me and we’ll leave.” Adam’s presence is reassuring. He’s been by my side since I’ve been back, and has done everything to support me and our family. I don’t know if I could do this without him.
I take the final step and look around.
The door’s been closed for I don’t know how long, and the room is musty and damp. People have been using the house above to sleep rough, and I hope to God none of them have stayed down here.
There’s still such a bad feel about this place.
The sight of the built-in cupboards floods my memory with thoughts of my mother’s fabric collection. All her sewing gear was in here before her breakdown. I spent hours in this room looking at the different colours, feeling the variety of textures, and admiring the clothes she made so many years ago.
“I never thought I’d come back here.”
Adam envelops me in his arms, and I breathe him in. He’s so familiar, and I love him more than I ever have.
He loves me.
He gets me.
He knows what it’s like to be afraid of the dark.
“Are you okay?” The words rumble in his chest. He makes me feel so safe.
“I’m fine. I’ll be glad when it’s all demolished.”
“Me too.” He kisses the top of my head. “I’m glad you got to say a final farewell to the place.”
“So am I.” Tears well, and when I close my eyes, one escapes down my cheek. “I wish she was still here. Despite everything, I wish she could meet the kids. I wish she could know the happiness we have together.”
“I know, babe.”
When the other tears follow, we say nothing. He just holds me, and I say a silent goodbye to the home where I worked so hard to keep my mother on track, where I never really felt loved. It’s the place I last saw when I left for the hospital, pregnant with Max and not even knowing.
I was a frightened eighteen-year-old who survived something other people might not.
And then I never stopped fighting.
Until I got Adam back.
* * *
The warmth of the sunlight greets me as we walk out together, hand in hand.
“Mum, can we go inside and take a look?” Max asks.
“I’d rather you didn’t. It’s not safe.” I reach up to stroke his chin. Max is the same height as his father, but where Adam has muscle, Max is lean. I love my son and our other children more than words can say.
“Sophie wanted to see.”
I shift my gaze to Max’s girlfriend. He met her on a trip to Carlstown, and they’ve been inseparable ever since. She’s a sweet, quiet girl who reminds me a lot of me when I was younger. And she looks at Max like he hung the moon.
“I appreciate your interest, Sophie, but this house has a lot of bad memories for me. Once it’s gone, I’ll be glad.”
She smiles, the dimples in her cheeks popping up. “I understand, Mrs Campbell.”
“Why don’t we get this barbecue going? I bet everyone’s dying for lunch. Want to help me, Sophie?” Adam asks.
“Sure.” She flashes Max a smile. Adam leans over and kisses me on the cheek.
I let out a breath as he walks away with her.
“Mum?”
I turn back to Max. “Yes?”
“I’m glad this place is being demolished too. I’m sorry for what your mother did.”
Tears well in my eyes. I tried so hard to protect Max from the truth, but over the years he’s learned what happened. I always made sure he knew just how special it made him, and how desperately I loved him. Max always came first. “I know you are, sweetheart. But you know what? It’s all good now.”
He wraps his arms around me. “I’m glad Dad came back. You’re so happy with him.”
“You all make me so happy. This house feels like a distant memory.”
Max grins. “Remember the zombies, Mum?”
“How can I forget?” I laugh.
He lets go of me, forming claws with his hands, and swipes the air. It takes me back to when he was still a kid and we were both scared of the dark. All those lonely nights when I couldn’t see how things would get better.
Then Adam came back and made all the bad go away.
We’ll never get back the twelve years we were apart, but we’ve built so much since we’ve been together.
I claw my hands and wave them in the air.
Max and I both laugh, and I know I’ll always treasure these moments. Moments no one else can ever understand but Max and me.
When I look over toward the barbecue, Adam’s eyes meet mine. He’s watching Max and me with so much pride on his face. It makes my heart swell.
I love my husband more than I can say.
And he loves me.
* * *
Our house is quiet. It’s not that late, and the kids are all in bed asleep.
From the doorway, I take in the peace that is our bedroom. There are so many memories here. Memories we’ve made as a family.
This is the house that Adam bought us when he came home, and our first real family home. Rose and Ben were born in this house. It’s the house we’ll grow old in. Together.
Nothing traumatic will ever happen in our home. Not if I can help it. My children are safe, and always will be when I’m around.
The soft lights mounted on our bedroom wall flicker on when I press the switch. My heart swells. That was Adam’s doing, so I’d never have to be afraid of the dark again. Since then, I’ve never been afraid.
We were two broken people who put each other back together.
I close my eyes as he surrounds me from behind, his strong arms wrapping around my waist. He buries his face in my neck and takes a deep breath. I love this man with all of my heart, and nothing is sweeter than simply being with him.
“What are you doing?” he asks.
“Just thinking about how lucky I am. Seeing the old house brought back a lot of memories, but I have so many better ones now.”
He lets me go, and I turn to face him.
“Thank you for being with me today.” I palm his cheek, and he turns his face to kiss my hand.
“I’ll always be with you when you need me. You make me whole, Lily Campbell.”
I smile. I’ll always love being called that when for so long I never thought it would be possible. “That’s how I feel about you, too.”
“Nothing’s ever going to separate us now. You know that, right?”
I wrap my arms around his waist and rest my head on his chest. “I know.” I sigh. “This. Us. It’s for life. What happened back then is a distant memory. I’m still not entirely sure how I survived it.”
He strokes my hair. “I’ll always regret my leaving. I hurt you so much. You must have hated me, and yet you let me back in again. I’ll be grateful for the rest of my life for that.”
“I’m not sure I ever hated you. But I am glad that when you came back you didn’t give up on me.” I lean back and smile. “And I know now that no matter what, you’re here for me and our children.”
He bends his head and kisses me. His kiss is gentle and slow.
He’s everything I ever wanted.
And he’s all mine.
