She lifted a corner of her long witch’s skirt and showed us her cast.
“I’m unsqueakably sorry!” I told her.
“I couldn’t reach my phone and Mr. Brisbane wasn’t home, so I couldn’t call the school to tell them I wouldn’t be in,” she explained.
So that’s why Principal Morales had been so confused that morning!
“My neighbor finally found me and took me to the hospital. I had to have an operation on my ankle before I could start walking again,” she continued. “But of course, it was all my fault and not Humphrey’s. What did I forget to do, Kelsey?”
“You forgot to pay attention to what you were doing,” Kelsey answered.
At least I wasn’t piewhacked about what had happened anymore! The mystery was solved at last.
I was happy to have our teacher back, but I wished she’d learned to be a ballet dancer instead of breaking her ankle. Ouch!
Mr. E. brought a chair for Mrs. Brisbane, and it was time for Mr. Morales and Mrs. Wright to judge the costumes.
I dove down into my bedding, found my yarn and put on my costume.
Mr. Morales and Mrs. Wright smiled and whispered as they watched my friends parade around the room.
No one was watching me, so to get their attention, I began squeaking loudly.
“SQUEAK-SQUEAK! Look at me!” I repeated over and over.
Finally, Mrs. Brisbane turned to see what was wrong, and she burst out laughing. “What on earth is Humphrey wearing?”
Everyone rushed over to my cage, so I stood up on my rear paws and squeaked some more.
“He’s got red yarn on his head,” Rosie said.
Thomas leaned in and held up his magnifying glass. “It’s red yarn, all right.”
Joey leaned in and held up his magnifying glass. “It looks like hair. Red hair.”
Kelsey giggled. “He looks like a redhead. From the ‘Red-Headed League’ story.”
I guess it took a redhead to recognize another redhead.
Everyone was laughing and pointing except Mr. Morales and Mrs. Wright. They were whispering and pointing.
“Who gave Humphrey that yarn?” Mrs. Brisbane asked.
No one answered.
“Whoever you are, you’re a very clever person,” she said.
For once, Mrs. Brisbane was wrong. I am a very clever hamster.
Mr. Morales announced that he and Mrs. Wright had made a decision. He reached in his pocket and pulled out a blue ribbon that had Best Costume written on it. “It’s a tie between Rosie Rodriguez and . . . Humphrey!”
“BOING-BOING-BOING-BOING!” Og cheered. He knew I’d wanted to win.
Everyone else cheered, too, and Mr. Morales put the ribbon on my cage. He had another Best Costume ribbon, which he gave to Rosie. I was proud to share the honor with her.
“Of course, you’re all winners in Room Twenty-six,” he said. “Mrs. Brisbane is coming back to teach next week. So I think we should all thank Mr. E. for doing a great job.”
He reached in his pocket and pulled out a gold ribbon that had Best Substitute written on it. Mr. E. looked very happy to accept it.
“Now, boys and girls, Mrs. Murch is going on a medical leave next week, so Room Twenty-nine needs a substitute. Do you think I should recommend Mr. E.?”
Everyone cheered wildly—even Mrs. Wright!
Then they passed out treats for everyone—including some sunflower seeds for me.
All I can say is: it was a SUPER-SUPER-SUPER-GREAT-GREAT party!
That night, when Og and I were alone in Room 26, I guess I was the happiest hamster on earth.
I’d made my friends laugh, and I had a shiny blue ribbon on my cage.
My favorite teacher, Mrs. Brisbane, was coming back.
My next-favorite teacher, Ms. Mac, was just down the hall.
My other favorite teacher, Mr. E., would still be at Longfellow School for a while.
And even though I’d just solved a lot of mysteries in Room 26, I knew that as long as I was a hamster living in a classroom full of humans, I’d always have plenty of mysteries to solve . . . just like Sherlock Holmes!
HUMPHREY’S DETECTIONARY: Sometimes even excellent clues can lead you in the wrong direction, but it doesn’t really matter if everything ends well and your teacher comes back!
Humphrey’s Top 10 Tips for Beginning Detectives
1. To be a detective, you need to find a mystery to solve. They are everywhere, especially when humans are around. (Humans need a lot of help!)
2. To find the clues you need to solve a mystery, it’s important to watch and listen to everything. (A cage is a good watching place.)
3. It’s also unsqueakably important to write your observations in your notebook. You will also need a pencil or pen. (It’s a good idea to hide your notebook behind a mirror or some other secret place.)
4. If you don’t understand something—like a mystery word—studying things around it will help you work it out.
5. If you’re going to watch and listen, you have to be VERY-VERY-VERY quiet and not make a peep—or a squeak!
6. Some detectives, like Sherlock Holmes, wear funny hats. I’m not sure why. Maybe it makes them think better. But you don’t have to wear a hat to be a detective.
7. It’s important to know when it’s safe to go searching for clues, especially when you’re going in and out of a cage.
8. One mystery often leads to another. And one solution often leads to another.
9. Never, ever give up! This is a good rule for detectives and everyone else!
10. Read a lot of good mystery stories. They’re fun . . . and they make you think!
Betty G. Birney has written episodes for numerous children’s television shows, including The New Adventures of Madeline, Doug, and Bobby’s World, as well as after-school specials and a television movie, Mary Christmas. She has won many awards for her television work, including an Emmy, three Humanitas Prizes, and a Writers Guild of America Award.
In addition to the Humphrey books, she is the author of The Seven Wonders of Sassafras Springs and The Princess and the Peabodys.
A native of St. Louis, Missouri, Betty lives in Los Angeles with her husband, an actor.
Find fun Humphrey activities and teachers’ guides at
www.bettygbirney.com
For more Humphrey adventures, look for
1
The World According to Humphrey
2
Friendship According to Humphrey
3
Trouble According to Humphrey
4
Surprises According to Humphrey
5
Adventure According to Humphrey
6
Summer According to Humphrey
7
School Days According to Humphrey
Mysteries According to Humphrey Page 11
