by A. M. Wilson
Just like all the previous times, the key makes a clinking sound in the lock seconds before the door swings open. Travis stands in the entryway, his body a huge silhouette in the dim light glowing softly behind him. I wish I could see his expression; I might have an idea what he is thinking, but the light makes it impossible. I stare back where I know his eyes to be, trying to look impassive, unaffected, though I am anything but.
I am afraid. It’s had to have been a few days by now, and I still don’t have a clue what he wants from me.
Travis saunters forward, coming to a rest directly in front of me. I have to crane my neck backwards to continue staring at his face. He leans over me, his nearness forcing me to lie back on the mattress to avoid colliding with his face. Looming above me, he holds his body up with his elbows, his knee resting between my legs.
I’m frozen in fear. I should scream, or punch and kick, or spit in his face. Paralyzing fear is the only thing I feel in this cold, dark room while my captor is poised above me, like a snake ready to strike. He cracks a menacing smile at my retreat.
“There’s nowhere for you to go.” His voice is like ice, cold and hard, sending chilling goose bumps down my body. I’ve never seen his eyes so vacant and uncaring, even on his worst days. I’ve never met this Travis before, and dear lord, I hope never to meet him again.
“What do you want,” I barely whisper, finally locating my voice box. I push back with my elbows and the heels of my feet, trying to scurry back the last few inches of space remaining between the wall and myself.
In one smooth glide, Travis follows.
“I think it’s obvious what I want, Lena. The question is: are you going to make it easy on me?” His breath is hot on my face and smells strongly of whiskey. He’s been drinking.
Revulsion slithers through me, down my spine; I begin to shake. If I could stop it I would, not wanting to show him my fear, but it’s an involuntary movement. He takes notice, and his smile tilts higher.
“Please, no!” Here it is that intuitive fight or flight moment. Only I’m restrained, there is no flight for me. My body prepares to do the only thing it can.
My hands clench, still bound to one another and poised above my head, ready to hammer fist down on his face the moment he decides to strike. I can feel the excitement rolling off him in waves, his breathing coming in short, eager gasps. He lunges forward, and at the last second, I bring my fist down, landing my target right between his eyes. He cries out, grabbing his nose as a torrent of blood pours onto his mouth, his shirt, the floor.
“YOU FUCKING BITCH!” he screams before lunging at me once more. This time I bring my legs up, knees bent, springing my feet square in his chest. He drops to the floor, clutching his chest as he gasps for air.
My triumph is short lived, however, as I am still bound and chained to the mattress. He starts to get up, slowly, his breathing still erratic. I wave my hands frantically in his directing, trying to dispel the wrath I know is coming. Travis doesn’t do humiliated, and I am one hundred percent certain I just humiliated the shit out of him.
Getting to his feet, he pauses. Wiping the slow trickle of blood from beneath his nose as he looks at me, his head cocks to the left.
What the fuck did I just do?
He takes another step forward.
“Wait! Please, Travis, wait! I’m sorry, please!” My hands wave frantically in front of me. I realized my mistake too late. Fighting him was stupid when I’m still stuck to these damn chains.
“Oh no, bitch. You need to fucking pay.” He knocks me backward with the back of his hand across my cheek. Before I can recover, he’s crawling on top of me, pinning me down by the sheer weight of himself. His hand holds my bound ones tight against my chest. Black spots start morphing on the outside of my vision. His other hand grips my dirty hair. Wrapping it tightly around his wrist, he pulls hard, tilting my head forcefully off to one side. He leans down, his teeth digging painfully into my neck.
I scream in pain and absolute terror. “Travis, please, stop! I’ll do anything. It hurts, please!” I beg hoarsely, thrashing wildly to escape.
Surprising me, pulls back. “How can I believe that? Look at what you just fucking did to me?”
He’s given me a moment. It’s just a moment, but it’s enough for me to try to barter my way out of here.
“Please. I’m scared. How can you not expect me to fight back when I’m terrified? Tell me what you want. I’ll do anything. Please don’t hurt me.”
“It’s funny how you sing a different tune now that you’re back under my control. Not so big and brave without that stupid prick around now are you? I should have never let you leave, Lena.”
“Is that what all this is for? You’re doing this all because you broke up with me, and now you want me back?” Even though I was ready for things to be done with him after he’d beat me up, he ultimately sealed his fate by cheating on me with his neighbor. How can he go to such lengths just to get me back?
“You have it wrong. I want you back. I will have you back, but that’s not what this is about. I told you, I’m protecting you. I need to keep you safe.”
“From what?” My voice rises along with my anxiety. Is he deranged? What could I possibly need protecting from, besides him?
“From that scumbag you call a boyfriend, that’s who!”
Elias?
“I don’t understand.”
Abruptly, he shoves me back to the mattress and stands up, thrusting both hands into his disheveled hair. Grabbing fistfuls on both sides of his head, he pulls; his green eyes almost bugging out of his head. I scurry back into the corner, trying not to frighten him but trying to get away. Something is wrong with him.
“You…” he starts, working his jaw back and forth once, twice. He seems to be struggling with the words he wants to say. “Damnit, Lena! I won’t hurt you. Not anymore,” he shouts before turning and leaving the room. He’s left the door open and without thinking, I jump up, shuffling for the obvious escape. The yanking of the metal chain around my foot brings me back to reality as I slam to my knees on the hard floorboards.
I bite my tongue to keep from crying out. I crawl back to the mattress, hoping he didn’t hear me.
Travis returns carrying a sandwich and a bottle of water. He thrusts the items into my lap seemingly unaware of my ridiculously foolish attempt at an escape. I’ll never get out of here by myself. He’s coming around. Maybe if I try to please him, he will let me go.
“Eat. You must be hungry.”
“Thank you,” I reply quietly. I take a tentative bite of the sandwich, trying not to devour it in my ravenous state. The last thing I want right now is to get sick from eating too quickly. I need to get some answers.
“Tell me more about why you have me here…please.”
“You have no idea the danger you were in being with that guy.” He’s pacing the floor in front of me, starting to look a little more like the old Travis and less of this deranged kidnapper Travis.
“The only danger I was aware of was you. You were stalking me; you tried to run me over!” A sudden thought strikes me like a blow to the gut. “What happened to Katie, Travis,” I whisper, so afraid, but I need to know the truth. Something about his softening demeanor prompts the question from my lips. I shy away, partly expecting another blow to the face.
Instead, he stops pacing the floor, and stares at me. His green eyes are hard, calculating.
“You think I have something to do with her disappearance?” he asks, incredulously. His tone takes me by surprise.
“Yes,” I reply quietly. “You were dating her.”
“That doesn’t mean I had a hand in it! I really liked her. I thought I was finally moving on from you!” He emphasizes the last word as if it’s my fault he hasn’t moved on. As if I played a role in him breaking my heart, spirit, and mind. I came out a broken shell of a human being; he came out relatively unscathed, so I don’t understand his position.
“So you didn’t…hurt her?”
Damn my curiosity. I’m going to meet the same end Katie did if I’m not careful.
“No! That piece of shit boyfriend of yours did!” Travis begins pacing again, the floorboards creaking beneath his heavy boots. His arms begin flailing about. “That’s why I had to rescue you. Before you were next!”
“What are you talking about? Elias didn’t do that!” Anger rises within me. How dare he…
“Oh yeah? Do you know where he was the night she disappeared? I bet you don’t. That was the night he came home late, wasn’t it?”
How does he know…?
“I can see it in your eyes! You know I’m right. He came home hours late. Disheveled, upset, and he had blood on his shirt!”
The hairs on my arms are standing on end. This eerie feeling washes through me at his accusations. How could he possibly know those things? They’re true, all of them. Were they in this together? No. I can’t doubt Elias, not now. He’s done too much for me over the past three months to let someone as crazy as Travis demolish the faith I’ve placed in him.
“No. I don’t believe you.”
“Then where was he that night? With his best friend? Or family? Someone who will give him an alibi no matter what, because they’re close enough to always have his back? You know I’m telling the truth, Lena.”
“How would you know those things?” I ask, incredulously. “It’s impossible.”
“That pig is a pimp. He sells women for profit.” The floor falls away from my feet. I’m falling, tumbling down the rabbit hole like Alice, into a world that makes no sense. I feel one inch tall, and I don’t know up from down anymore.
“Impossible.” I shoot for confident, but my voice is a small squeak.
“No, it’s not. I’ve seen it myself, Lena. He’s a fucking sick prick.”
“You’re lying.” He has to be lying. That’s the only logical thing that makes sense. My whole body is shaking in fear and in anger.
“Why would I? Seriously, think about it. Why would I lie? How would I know the things I just told you? I know because I’ve seen him do it.”
“Show me the goddamned proof! After all you’ve done to me, after everything you’ve put me through, you think I’m stupid enough to believe your word alone?” I have to find the cracks in his story. This is all a lie to get me to trust him again. It has to be.
“You want proof?” he roars, the venom in his voice frightening me even more. Before I can say more, he spins on his heel and leaves the room. Minutes pass before I hear his heavy boots striding toward me once more.
“Here’s your proof. Pictures. Handfuls of them. He’s picking up women, dropping off women. Fuck, he even takes some into an old warehouse. You wanna know what the disgusting thing is? He always leaves without them. Not once have I seen him take a woman back out after they enter that warehouse. What would you conclude he’s doing with them? Huh? He’s not such a white knight now, is he?”
I don’t want to believe it, but in my hands, I hold the proof. Picture after picture of Elias with prostitutes. Chatting through the window, climbing into a car I don’t recognize, one even looks like she’s bending over giving him a blowjob. Travis wasn’t lying. Time stamped pictures showing Elias and prostitutes entering a warehouse, and thirty minutes later, he’s seen leaving alone.
My stomach contracts as vomit crawls up my throat. My heart is breaking; my strength is wavering. Once more, Travis has managed to find the cracks in the walls I’ve built up and is trying to knock them down. I won’t let him have the satisfaction of watching it happen.
“Get out.” The need to protect my emotions overtakes my fears of Travis hurting me.
“Lena, please listen to me.”
“Travis, I need you to fucking leave right now!” I screech. My throat feels raw from the intensity of the scream leaving my throat. “You’ve hurt me so much just fucking get out and leave me alone. Please, don’t make me beg you.”
Maybe he feels sorry for me because he was telling the truth, or maybe he knows he’s won me over with a lie. Either way, he saunters towards the door. Before leaving entirely, he pokes his head in through the crack.
“I’m not locking you in tonight. If you need me, open the door and ask. I’ll be able to hear you.” He doesn’t even shut the door all the way.
There isn’t a response I can utter without breaking down.
My heart tells me he’s lying. Someone as sweet, genuine, and selfless as Elias couldn’t possibly sell women or be responsible for Katie’s death, and at the same time have built me up and made me feel such wonderful things.
My heart tells me Travis is at blame. He’s dark and manipulative, possessive and controlling. Hasn’t he shown me before just how evil he can be? His history of putting his hands on me is evidence he’s culpable.
Then my head kicks in. Elias had a good explanation for what happened the night of his birthday. I accepted his reasoning, and his demeanor fit his story. But Travis knows details of that night that he shouldn’t. How would he know about Elias coming home late? Even if he was watching the apartment, he couldn’t possibly have known what time I expected Elias home. And the blood. It’s impossible that Travis would have been able to see it. The only clue I have to indict Travis on is the fact he was dating Katie, and his past proves he’s abusive towards women. Is it possible they were in on it together?
Head over heart, heart over head. How will I know which is right? I’m exhausted both mentally and physically and thinking so much is giving me a splitting headache. Curling up on my side, I try to picture Carly, letting myself imagine she’s sitting here with me. The only person left in my life who I can trust entirely in this moment.
As I’m drifting off to sleep, I conclude that it’s not fair to decide if he’s lying right now. The fact is Travis kidnapped me. Regardless if Elias is guilty or not, I need to find a way out of here. I can deal with the truth later. If pretending to believe the lie will set me free, I hope I’m one convincing actress.
CHAPTER TWENTY TWO
“Travis?”
The room is dark, the door still unlocked and open. Time to find my way out of this hellhole even if I have to die trying.
“Travis? I need you.” Keeping the revulsion out of my voice is next to impossible. I never thought I’d utter a sentence like that again in my life, but I’m desperate.
I listen with rapt attention. Hardly a few minutes pass before I hear the unmistakable thud of heavy boots along the wooden floor. The door creaks gently the remainder of the way open until the silhouette of Travis appears, filling the doorway. He slowly saunters over to the side of the mattress, looking down upon my still form. He drops to his knees on the edge, leaning in to brush his hand over my soiled hair draped against my swollen cheek.
“What’s the matter honey?” he asks.
It takes every ounce of willpower to repress the shudder inside of me. Willing myself to remain strong and confident, I force myself to relax.
“I’m so scared and upset. Everything you told me…I’m so confused. I just don’t want to be alone anymore.”
He visibly relaxes before me, letting out a low, deep sigh at my words. Collapsing forward, Travis wraps his arms around me, pulling my face into the crook of his neck. The gesture is familiar, one my body and mind recognize from three years ago, but much to my relief, it no longer brings comfort. I feel nothing lying here with his arms around me. Nothing except a loneliness and an ache deep in my chest for Elias, as if my heart is trying to call out to him.
“Sleep baby. I’ve got you again, and I’ll never let you go.”
This time I can’t hold back the shudder, unintentionally following it with an unchecked sob. His hand strokes my hair, and I squeeze my eyes tight, biting the inside of my cheek until I taste the familiar metallic tang of blood. It doesn’t take long until his breathing evens out as he falls asleep.
Lying here with his arms tightly wrapped around me, I know I won’t be getting any sleep tonight. I stay awake until the first rays of su
nlight shine through my tiny crack in the window. The rays of sun, which remind me today is a new day, and I’m going to find my way out of here.
“Can you untie my wrists? They’re so sore,” I plead with Travis after he wakes up around midmorning. I’m not exactly sure on the time, but the small amount of light I can see has shifted, so it’s been a few hours since sunrise.
“If you keep behaving like the good little girl you have been, I will. Hold still,” he says, as he begins pulling on the knot, too quickly for me to comprehend how he’s untying it. To my surprise, he leans down and unlocks the chain around my feet as well.
“This one is no longer necessary. But if you pull any stunts, I will bind your entire body to this mattress and gag you as well.” He looks up into my face with fiery green eyes, and the small smirk on his face is unnerving.
“I won’t. I promise.”
“Good. And if you really behave, I just might let you out to stretch your legs a little bit too.”
“Thanks,” I mutter. This is all a game now. Like chess, I’m trying to guess his next move and stay three moves ahead of him in my head.
After untying my wrists, Travis leaves to fetch an ice cream pail full of water and a tattered old washrag, which he gives me to clean my wounds and the dirt off my body. Thank God, he doesn’t offer to wash me himself.
He leaves me alone as I clean myself up, locking me in, and heading into town for supplies once more. What supplies could he possibly be buying now? It’s slightly comforting knowing there is a town somewhere near my prison.
A few hours pass before Travis returns. The door to the shack slams loudly, echoing in the quiet of the early evening. Without preamble, he bursts through the door to my room, his chest heaving, and his hands clenched tightly into fists at his sides. Travis’s eyes appear slightly unfocused, his face contorted in a sneer. Once again, he’s at odds with the man who was standing before me this morning, and I’m frightened. Like Jekyll and Hyde, I never know whom I’m going to be dealing with when it comes to Travis Dawson. That is never, ever a good thing.
