by C. L. Stone
Thomas exited the room and finally his younger brother spoke. “Sorry about that.”
I stood and started on the dishes. “You don’t have to apologize. He speaks his truth. Once, I was like that, too. He’s not wrong. But someday I’ll have a family like yours where we all care about each other. Maybe. If my future love or loves can deal with the fact that I’m not untouched.”
Clay took my hand. “Leave the dishes. Let’s walk.”
I nodded and followed him outside. Now that I wasn’t running for my life or running from a place I didn’t feel I belonged to, I could appreciate the natural scenery. Big hills spanned the landscape north of us with big lakes on either side.
“Do you like to fish?” I’d once known how to talk to anyone. It had been a skill my parents taught me. I had to feel Clay out to find out his interests, and then we could discuss it.
He shook his head. “No.”
Okay. Well, then that wasn’t the subject. “The mountains are gorgeous.”
“Yes, very pretty. Great view.” He smiled at me. “I’ve never been to Mars Station, but I know someone who seems to like it very much. A person I used to know. Kind of shocked it’s so status oriented. Seemed more wild west from what I’ve heard.”
“Somehow, it’s both.” He had a strong profile. Clay was handsome. I’d not let myself really notice before. I was strolling through the countryside with what I would have once told Diana was a dish of a man.
He put his arm around me. “Paloma, if I had any different kind of life, if I could afford to be who I wanted, I’d tell you I don’t give a shit who you slept with or how many there were. Any real man, he’s just grateful to have you, and it would be pleasure enough that I could keep you.”
My heart turned over. “But you’re not that man, Mr. McQueen?”
“Call me Clay.” He hugged me again. “I don’t like to be called McQueen. I just don’t. Someday I’m going to hear that you got married, and I’m going to curse this time for being too hard for me to court you.”
“I’m not a woman you have to court. I’m ruined, remember?”
He kissed my forehead. “You’re exactly the kind of woman who should be courted.”
3
You Don’t Control the Weather
The winds woke me, and the rain made it impossible for me to fall back into dreamland. I got out of bed then padded into the main part of the house. It was still dark. A humming from the fridge was the only sound I heard, although a glow of light illuminated the top of the stairs. The twins were probably gambling. I hadn’t seen them at all on the previous day. They’d rolled out of bed, Thomas told me at dinner, around three and gone to the town to see to some things. I didn’t ask what those were. I was leaving. I couldn’t push myself into their lives.
I opened the fridge and grabbed a small container of milk. Then I found the glasses and poured myself some. Milk was a real luxury. The sisters had one cow. I hadn’t really gotten to indulge in any since I’d left the station. A sip here and there. I was lucky if they fed me at all.
Keith came down the stairs. “Heard you there. All okay?”
I sipped the milk. “Okay that I took some of this?”
“Sure. Got more in the other fridge.”
They had more than one container? I wished I’d known before I sent Clay to the store. I hope he didn’t over buy.
“Thanks.” I sat at the counter. “Wind woke me.”
“Then I say, thank goodness for the wind. Actually”—he looked out the window—“you’re probably not leaving today.”
“Really?” I walked out behind him and looked out the window. It rained hard. “Does the weather keep you landlocked? I grew up on a station. Weather’s not a factor for space travel, and the Sisters worked no matter what the day brought.”
He nodded. “When it comes with wind, yes. If you were going to be out cold in a pod, they could shoot you skyward and not care about the weather. A shuttle? Bad wind can keep us home.”
Keith smelled good, like soap and, somehow, cloves at the same time. I breathed him in. Clay had made me feel warm today, believing for the first time in a long time I might be okay. Even though I couldn’t have him because of whatever the truth was about their lives, I couldn’t daydream about both him and Keith. So rarely did family groups marry the same woman. Usually, it was friends or former military groupings. My sister had married brothers. These guys made no indication they wanted me that way.
He put his arm around me, and we watched the weather through the dark window for a little bit.
“Are you winning tonight?”
Keith shook his head. “No. But Quinn is. As long as one of us wins big every night, it’s a satisfying evening. But come to think of it, I am winning now. Thanks.”
“You’re a flirt.” I pinched his side lightly. “You know I’m safe. I’m leaving.”
“If you were staying, I’d be flirting harder than this.”
I groaned and leaned on his arm. “Thank you for taking care of me when I arrived.”
Keith kissed my hair. “I told you not to thank me for that.”
I looked at the ground. Some woman would someday be lucky. These guys were wealthy enough they could win themselves wives. She’d stand with him and watch the weather, knowing she was lucky because the sun would always come up for her.
“Come on.” He took my hand and led me to the couch. He tapped a remote, and all the shades opened. “Let’s watch the rain and be comfortable at the same time.”
“You live this opposite life. Sleep all day, work all night.”
Keith yawned. “It doesn’t come as naturally to me as it does to Quinn. Thanks for reminding me. Now, I’m tired.” He squeezed me tighter.
“Do you like it? The gambling?”
“For now.”
He wasn’t offering more information, so I stopped prying. We sat next to each other on the couch, eventually both of us lounging back together, his arm around my shoulder. The rain hit the cabin harder, and lightning flashed in the distance. I’d hated the weather at the Sisterhood. I had to weed, rain or shine. When it was wet, I spent my days soaked.
Keith had been quiet for a while, so I looked at him. His eyes were closed, a slight smile on his face. His breathing was even. He’d gone to sleep. My stomach clenched. What should I do? I’d never spent the night with a man. Not even Rocky. My father had ripped us apart three seconds after completion.
He was asleep, and he held me. It was such a bizarre thought. Shouldn’t he have been working? I tried to relax. His even breathing lulled me into relaxation. Eventually between Keith and the rain, I slept.
I woke up to sounds in the kitchen. Thomas rummaged through the fridge, pulling out juice. Neither Keith nor I had moved all night. I slipped out of his arms, which had loosened, and walked to the kitchen.
Thomas took out a second glass and poured me some juice as he did so for himself. “Morning.”
“Hello. Morning.” I sat down at the counter. “I hear the weather may be changing our plans.”
He nodded. “Can control everything but the weather. Tomorrow. We’ll go tomorrow. This will blow through. I could turn on the satellite to get a better idea, but I don’t want to. If I turn on the satellite to look out, then someone can look in.” He yawned and nodded toward the living room. “How’d he sleep? Toss and turn?” Thomas nodded toward where Keith still slept.
“Um, he’s still out cold. So I guess he’s doing okay. Why? Does he not usually?”
“He tells me he has trouble sleeping. It’s hard for him. He’d like to be awake during the day. But Quinn needs him at night. The twin thing. He can’t tell him no. You two were out. I was glad to see him resting. He makes better choices when he’s had a full night.” He shook his head. “When did I start saying shit like ‘better choices’? I sound like a dad. I used to be fun. You have no idea how fun I used to be. I used to be the one on the couch, too dead to the world to notice her sneaking away.”
I forced my
self to breathe. “I just slept with him. I didn’t have sex with him. I know I’m a humiliation to my family, but I won’t be one to myself.”
His eyebrows furrowed. “I wasn’t implying you’d done anything at all. I—”
I waved my hand. “What’s the difference? It doesn’t matter what you think of me. It’s already low enough.”
He didn’t argue, and I made yogurt parfaits. Clay came into the kitchen, groggy and adorable, looking for it. He leaned over and kissed my cheek, taking his breakfast. I brought some to Thomas, and I sat down next to Clay. In the other room, Keith yawned loudly, apparently waking up. He stumbled into us, swinging by to kiss my forehead before he grabbed his yogurt from the fridge where I’d stuck the ones I wasn’t sure would get eaten.
He flopped down at the table. “Morning.”
“You’re up?” Clay raised his eyebrows. “You okay?”
“I went to bed at one in the morning. Slept all night. Was losing anyway. Someone couldn’t sleep because of the wind. I came down to see her and ended up passing out. I’ll have to caffeinate tonight, but I loved sleeping when it was dark.”
“And with your arms all around Paloma, all night.” Thomas shot Keith a look.
Keith lifted his eyebrows. “Jealousy isn’t attractive on you.”
Clay finished his breakfast. “Now, now boys. Paloma doesn’t need to hear us bicker. Men share nicely where she’s from. She’s got another day with us here, thanks to the weather. We can show her a good time.”
Thomas pointed at me. “I was not implying before that you had done anything wrong with Keith. I am sitting here stewing over whether I said something wrong. I didn’t. You’re sensitive, and I get that, but don’t put it on me.”
Keith blinked rapidly. “What the hell did you say to her?”
“Boys.” Clay slammed down his hand. “It’s too early for this. Retreat to morning voices immediately. I’m not ready to make the peace yet. I haven’t had enough coffee yet.”
Thomas had hollered at me, and now they were all fighting. I couldn’t figure out which way was up or down. These were nice people, and being with me for one whole day had ruined their lives.
I held up my hand. “Please stop fighting.”
They all turned to look at me. I cleared my throat, and my eyes found the floor. “I apologize. This is all my fault. I destroy things. I’ll go back to my room, and I won’t bother any of you until tomorrow when we leave.”
“Oh this?” Clay ducked down until he found my gaze. “This is nothing. You should see us most of the time. It’s a constant bicker-fest. It’s how we love each other. Don’t go hide in your room.”
Thomas stood. “I’m not taking it back. I didn’t in any way insinuate you’re any kind of … I’m not even going to use the word.”
He stormed off muttering something.
“Hey, what is all the screaming about? Why can’t a guy pass out on his system and be left alone to sleep?” Quinn leaned on the second floor balcony and stared down at us. “Morning, P. Got plans for today?”
“Ah … no.” I shook my head.
“You look like you’ve been through a whirlwind this morning. Welcome to breakfast with my family. We cool off by lunch. It’s why I get up then.” He shrugged. “I’ve got some things to do today. Hey, could you make six sandwiches? Please?”
Quinn spoke so fast I wasn’t even certain what I had agreed to. But, okay. I nodded. The sandwiches I could do. That was on my list of things I might be useful at doing. I’d not eaten any breakfast, and I didn’t think I wanted any ever again if this was how mornings were going to go.
Clay patted my back. “Have fun with Quinn. I have no idea where he’s going to take you.” He leaned over and kissed my cheek. “I’ve got to get on the network and get papers to my client.”
Having spent the day before with Clay, I knew he did transactional exchanges—basically, paperwork to set up companies on Earth. He could do it over the networks from wherever he was located. Any planet, any spaceship, as long as he could get an open line.
Keith rushed over and kissed me on the temple. All of the little kisses were leaving me breathless. They were so free with their attentions.
“I loved holding you last night. Slept better than I ever have. You have the most adorable snore.”
My cheeks heated. “I don’t snore.”
He grinned. “If you say so. Have fun with Quinn. I’ll be here. I’ve got a project I need to get done. See you later.”
I got going on the sandwiches. They had meats and cheeses. He hadn’t specified what he needed, so I made a whole bunch of different ones.
Quinn bounded down the stairs and looked over my shoulder. “Oh, and get dressed. It’s raining and cold out there.”
I put on some of the clothes Clay had bought me the day before—a pair of jeans, which felt really weird since I hadn’t worn any in five years, paired with a blue sweater. I didn’t know much about fashion anymore, but the sweater tugged at curves. I took a deep breath. Was it too much cleavage? I didn’t have a choice. These were the clothes Clay had given me. It was this or the Initiate outfit again.
I shoved on my boots and a hooded jacket I’d found in the closet. When I came out, Quinn had the sandwiches in a brown bag.
Never before had I been so happy to have on a coat. He couldn’t see how tight my shirt was, and for that I was grateful. He took my hand and led me to the vehicle outside. I climbed up front. “Where are we going?”
“I have this passion project. We’re going to check on things.”
That was seriously cryptic. “Do I need to be scared? Because to be honest, I’m not entirely sure I can take any more scary situations.”
He shook his head; his smile was sweet. “This is about as non-scary as it gets, P. I promise. So tell me things. What did you used to do on Mars Station? How is it to grow up not on a planet?”
“I prefer space living, actually. I hate the change in weather; everywhere is so cold all the time. I hate being wet. I hate being freezing. I’m tired of living and dying based on the whims of the turning of a planet around a sun.”
He furrowed his brow. “Not all planets are like that. I mean, granted this one is. I wouldn’t want to have to live outside. You didn’t, though. At the Sisterhood you had a room inside. They were horrible. They beat you. I’m not downplaying that element. Just the weather …” His voice trailed off.
“They kept me outside a lot. And I slept on the floor on a thin mat with a thin blanket. I was very aware of the weather in my tiny little cell.”
Quinn clenched the wheel so tightly his knuckles turned white. “I’m sorry to hear that. I-I’m having a hard time with what happened for a lot of reasons. I’m glad you’re out of there, even if I would have preferred things to turn out differently.”
I stared at him. Quinn was very handsome; they all were. He had the McQueen blue eyes, the same that his brothers’ looked at the world through. His hair spiked up, seemingly naturally since I couldn’t see him coifing much. He had high cheekbones, and I wanted to reach out to touch them. Quinn wore black-and-white plaid flannel pants and a yellow collared shirt under a gray hoodie. If I’d been in a position to have a crush on him when I was young, before Rocky, I’d have crushed on Quinn. But then again, I’d have crushed on all of them and their piercing blue eyes.
He had sadness in his blue eyes, deeply set and long-standing. I’d seen it before, but I was used to it in older men. Men who got off ships on Mars Station, years of sadness evident in their gate and the set of their shoulders. But, it was always the eyes that brought sadness to my soul. What things had they seen? It wasn’t that they couldn’t be happy in the future. They could. But it was always there, shadowing everything.
Diana’s uncles and father sometimes showed it, too.
I shook my head. I couldn’t psychoanalyze Quinn. I’d never see him again after tomorrow.
We rounded the road and came to a stop at the end of a long block. He passed me the b
rown bag with the sandwiches, and I followed him down the road on foot. We came to a small white house, and Quinn took the steps two at a time.
I followed him slowly, unsure of where we were and what we were doing here. With everything happening lately, I actually considered turning around and running back to the car. Instead, I stopped where I was and didn’t move. “Quinn.”
“Huh?” He turned around in front of the main entrance to the house. “What’s wrong?”
I pointed at the house. “Please tell me what we’re doing here or at least what this place is. I’m … unsure, and I’m not going a step further.”
Quinn frowned and came back to where I waited on the bottom step. “You can trust me. I-I thought you’d like what was inside as kind of a fun activity. I’d never take you somewhere unsafe. You don’t really know me yet, and out of all my brothers, I’m the oddest. I get it.”
“No,” I shook my head. “I don’t think that. But seriously, Quinn, I’m not going to be guilted into not knowing where I’m going because you say something meant to garner my sympathy.” I put my hands on my hips.
He raised an eyebrow. “Well done, P. Inside the house are five elderly widows who were out on the street because the Sisters bought the house they’d all lived in together after their husbands had died. I bought them a house, pay all the bills, and keep them fed and healthy. Once or twice a week I bring them something special. Today I was bringing them you. They like company. You’re smart, gorgeous, and nice to have around. They’d like it.”
The wind and rain batted at my hair. “If I go in there and it’s a bunch of old men gambling and having sex with hookers, I’m going to be really pissed. That five elderly women bit was really good.”
The rain beat down on him, too. The water raced down his face, and he did nothing to stop the drip. “It is. It also happens to be the truth.”
He offered me his hand, and I took it. “Kind of dumb for me to question your motives after I spent nights in your home.”
