by C. L. Stone
“What’s the next test?” she finally asked.
“Nice deflection,” he laughed, and held up his cards. “An IQ test.”
“Oh!” she said, interested despite herself.
What she thought were cards, were actually a series of pictures he propped on the table. Taking out his phone, he set it up where he could see it. “The first portion of this test is a verbal section, sort of like the SAT. I expect you’ll do well on it. Let’s begin.”
Hours passed. She answered analogies, informative questions, comprehension questions. Eventually, she completed a timed mathematics test. Someone brought them water, and gum. She was given a bathroom break, and a stretching break, but then it was right back to work.
Finally, he closed the test and put his pen on top of the form. “You’re finished.”
Sitting back in the chair, she rubbed her eyes and stretched her neck. There was a soft knock on the door, and Jessica walked in.
“Hello, Nora.”
Sitting up straighter, she unconsciously glanced at Dr. Murray before back to Jessica.
“It’s good to see you again.”
“Hello,” she answered.
“I need to take your pulse and blood pressure, please.” She held up a small black case.
Nodding, she reached for her sleeve and pulled it up over her elbow. Jessica knelt in front of her, placing her fingers on her wrist and examining her watch.
“40,” she called to Dr. Murray.
He wrote it down on the paper, his raised eyebrows his only response.
Next, she wrapped a cuff around Nora’s arm, inflating it so it squeezed her tightly before releasing the pressure with a hiss of air. “110 over 70.”
“Thank you,” he answered, writing it down as well and leaning back in his chair. Flinging his glasses onto the table between them, he sighed. “I think we’re done, Nora.”
“Yeah? Okay.” She stood, collecting her bag from the floor and her coat from the back of a chair. “Will you tell me the results?”
“Of both?” he asked. “Are you worried about the results?”
She shook her head. The results would have no impact on her life. “I’m just curious.”
“If you’d like,” he repeated the same answer from earlier. “How do you think you did?”
“I think I did better on the verbal portion of the test than the performance portion.” She smiled. “But I’m sure it’ll show I’m solidly average.”
“Most of us are.”
“Have you signed up for classes?” Jessica asked, standing and putting the pressure cuff away.
She owed nearly ten thousand dollars to Brownington right now, or at least she did until Dr. Murray called the business office and had a few of those fees removed.
Still, she’d end up owing the school money, and she didn’t want to be more in debt to them, or to Dr. Murray, than she already was. So she decided to hold off signing up for classes.
She’d also agreed to live with the guys, a concession she made considering how much they didn’t want her to do the study at all. It made them happy for her to stay with them. Perhaps she should be embracing her independence and fighting harder to maintain it, but the truth was she wanted to stay with them. She reveled in the idea of waking up each morning with them, carpooling, eating dinner, grocery shopping. All the normal, boring relationship things people did when they lived together. She wanted them to get on her nerves, annoy her when they left the toilet seat up and she sat in cold water in the middle of the night.
Her imagination had run away with her, and she still hadn’t answered the question. “No.”
“Why not?” Jessica watched her with interest.
Cynically, she wondered if Jessica cultivated her look of innocence, like she’d wondered earlier about Dr. Murray’s kind face. There was no proof for her suspicions. Yes, they had taken her on a real-life Fast and Furious ride, but they explained to her its purpose. And yes, the study seemed to be designed to keep people in it, loading them down with debt if they quit early, but was any of it mercenary? Maybe Dr. Murray was being smart. He had a study to run. It needed long-term participants, and it wouldn’t work if they abandoned ship willy-nilly.
The stick and the carrot. He employed both.
“I couldn’t take them for college credit,” she answered. “And I would owe you too much money should I decide to quit.”
“You’re not planning on quitting, are you?” Dr. Murray ran his hands through his hair. “Again.”
Shaking her head, she answered, “But I also don’t plan on owing Brownington ten thousand dollars for nothing.”
He waved aside her concern. “I’ll call them later. I’m sure I can get them to delete most of the fees. Probably not the room and board though, you may be stuck with that one. Are you sure you don’t want to stay on campus?”
“I have a place to stay now.”
He glanced at his watch and she recognized the signs of dismissal. “When do you need me again?”
“I’m going to score your tests. It may be a week, may be less. Here. I want you to have this.” He handed her a phone.
“I can’t accept this.”
“I need to be able to reach you, Nora. It’s a prepaid tracfone. All the participants have one.”
“I can’t afford it. I have a landline. You can reach me there.”
“Nora.” he sighed, exchanging a glance with Jessica. “Remember when you agreed to this I told you this study would take precedence over everything. If I need you in here, I need you here. I have to be able to reach you at all times.”
“Will this be added to my bill?” she asked shortly.
Dr. Murray took out a notebook, and began scribbling roughly. He ripped out the sheet of paper and handed it to her. Nora Leslie will not incur any debt as a result of accepting this tracfone from Daniel Murray.
“Okay.” She folded the paper slowly and put it in her jacket pocket before reaching for the phone. “This probably won’t even hold up in court.”
“Not very trusting,” Jessica remarked.
“What was it called in your personality test? Thinking? Observant?”
Dr. Murray laughed and Jessica grimaced. “She’s got you there, Jess.”
She gave a good-natured shrug. “All right. All right. So we’ll reach you on that phone for your next interview.” She reached for Nora’s hand as if to shake it, but when she gave it to her, Jessica turned it over, placing two fingers against her wrist. “We’ll be discussing relationships and your past,” she informed her.
Tensing, she tried to pull her arm back, but Jessica wouldn't let her. Rather than play tug of war, she left her hand in the other woman’s. “Wait.” Her eyes got a far-off look in them as she took her pulse.
“Did it spike?” she asked through clenched teeth when Jessica let her go.
“A bit.” She smiled. “Something to look forward to. I’d like to be in the interview for those questions. That okay, Daniel?”
The way Jessica bypassed her so completely set her on edge. “That would be fine,” she said, before Dr. Murray could answer.
“If it’s all right with Nora, it’s fine with me. Now, I hate to rush you, but I have someone coming in, and I try not to have participants overlap. Confidentiality. Though Tyler has made that moot.” He was annoyed, but not angry. Knowing Tyler, the gregarious, over-zealous teenager, she understood how he inspired both love and irritation.
“Okay.” She slid the phone into her pocket. “See you.”
As she walked along the quiet hallway and into the stairwell, exhaustion overtook her. While she hadn’t physically exerted herself, bantering with Jessica and sitting through hours of tests, sapped her energy. Pushing open the door to the main floor, she caught sight of Cai. He was reading the announcements on the cork board, back to her.
Without planning to, she ran to him, throwing her arms around him, and kissing him noisily on the lips. “What are you doing here?” Seeing him gave her a sudden burst.<
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“I asked Tyler how long these interviews take, did some mental math, and walked over. Thought maybe I could take you out to dinner.”
“Like a date?” Her lips split into a grin.
“Sort of.” He returned her smile, his eyes crinkling at the sides. “It’ll be you and me, and a bunch of strangers, having dinner.”
She swept the back of her fingers over the lines near his eyes, amazed he was hers. Threading her fingers through his hair, she drew him down to his mouth, giving him a small kiss. She wanted to go full-on lip devour, but she wasn’t sure how he would respond to such a public display.
Her unspoken question was answered when he gently sucked her lip into his mouth. His lips covered hers, pulling and pressing until her entire face tingled. When his mouth left hers, she tripped, off-balance.
“It’s sort of a working date.” He tugged her toward the doors. Still in the clouds, she tried to remember what they’d been talking about before he kissed her stupid. She walked a little faster, trying to keep pace with his long-legged strides.
“Youth center?” she asked, looking forward to returning to his work, a safe place for kids to go when school was over. The one time he’d brought her there, she’d met Tyler.
A muscle twitched in his jaw. “No,” he said, tightly.
She stopped him. “Is everything alright?”
“Kind of,” he said with clenched teeth. “Sort of.”
“Did you lose your job?”
“No,” he answered quickly. “It’s not that. Just… other work stuff. It’s not important. Come on.” Clearly, he didn’t want to talk, so she didn't push. He led her to the parking lot, opening the car door for her, and helping her in.
“You’re such a gentleman, Cai," she observed, purposefully changing the subject. “You have these old-world manners. Makes me feel like a lady.” She rarely felt ladylike.
He reached for her hand, driving out of the lot. “You are a lady.”
She snorted, and he chuckled, low and deep. There was something about his voice. God, she loved it.
“I never noticed before, Cai. You have an accent. It’s a little like Matisse’s. A southern twang, but not as smooth. It’s barely there, and I only heard it in that one word: are. You’re not from Vermont, are you?”
“Not originally, no.” He shook his head. “My family started out west, but my father moved us to Vermont when I was around ten. To Burton Pond.”
“In Northern Vermont?” She turned in the seat. “I spent some time there, too! I was right near the Canadian border. I was placed back in Brownington when I was thirteen, but we could have gone to middle school together! How old are you?”
The air around them seemed to thicken, and the muscle in his jaw jumped. His hand tightened in hers, the knuckles white against his golden skin. She covered his hand with hers, lifting it quickly to her mouth and kissing it lightly.
“It’s okay.” She trailed her lips back and forth across his knuckles. “You don’t have to answer. Not yet.”
His relief was tangible. Squeezing her once, he drew his hand away to maneuver the car into a parking spot.
They were back in the north end of town. She spied the sign at the back of the building where they’d parked and smiled. “Working date?”
He caught her smile. “You don’t mind?”
A line of people already wrapped around the building, huddled in the cold wind, and she shook her head. “No. I’m glad to do this.”
She opened her door, waiting for him to lock the car. He knew some of the people in line, greeting them by name and introducing Nora. Some replied, others stared at the ground or past her. A pit formed in her stomach, their expressions were familiar.
Once inside, he took her coat and his, hanging them on a hook and then handed her an apron. “We’re serving, and then we can eat.”
“Cai, wait.”
He stopped, turning to her questioningly.
“Have you…” She thought about the night she’d spent at the homeless shelter, and the summer days when she’d forced herself to come to community centers or churches for free lunches. Luckily, in Brownington, it’d turned into the thing to do, and lunch was offered to everyone, not only kids in need. It was the best thing that happened to her, and to a lot of kids, taking away the stigma of “free lunch.” “Have you ever come here… not to work?”
It was hard to return to the places she needed when she was younger. She knew what it was to be embarrassed, or to hope people ignored her.
His jaw muscle jumped and she had her answer. Golden eyes intense, he nodded.
“Me, too.”
Wrapping an arm around her waist, he pulled her into his body and bent down to kiss her quickly. “I should have told you. Not sprung it on you like this. I forget what it’s like to come back to places when you don’t need them anymore. It’s been a long time for me.”
His lips moved against her forehead as he spoke. “We don’t have to stay.”
“No.” She shook her head. “I want to stay. I just wondered. But also, in case I get weird, or zone out. I wanted you to know why.”
“I think you’re amazing, Nora. Strong and resilient, and I didn’t expect you, but I’m so grateful. I think—“ His voice caught and he took a breath. “I hated God for a long time. But I think you might come from him, to remind me of the good in this world.”
Tears formed in her eyes, but she wiped them away quickly. “I’m not good, Cai. He should have picked better. I’m pretty flawed.”
“I don’t know, Nora.” His breath tickled her forehead, sweeping her hair across her face. “I think he was right on.”
“Are you love birds going to neck in the hall all evening, or are you going to help?”
Embarrassed, she jumped away from Cai. When she spied an older woman in the hall, she smiled. “Pastor Marge.”
The woman grabbed her glasses from around her neck and put them on. “Nora?” Walking forward with open arms, she embraced her tightly. “Nora. I have thought about you and prayed about you. How are you, doll?”
“And Cai! I couldn’t have made the match better myself.” She smacked his cheek lightly. “Mysterious ways, eh?”
Looping her arm through Nora’s, she walked her toward the noisy dining hall. “How many years has it been, Nora? Two? Three?”
The parish hall was different; the walls painted a lighter color, and decorated with artwork from the children’s Sunday school. “It looks good.”
“The artwork lightens everything, I think,” she agreed.
Sighing, Nora finally answered, “Three years, Pastor Marge.”
“I'm sure three years isn't too long to forget.” Marge handed her a slotted spoon and gave Cai a spatula. “You know what to do,” she said with a wink before hugging her. “It’s so good to see you again.”
Her past threatened to overwhelm her. She had to get it together before she looked at Cai. When she turned to him, he watched her with concern. Reaching up, she smoothed her hand over his cheek before turning her attention back to the line of people now waiting to be served.
Together, they loaded plates with food until a new batch of volunteers took their place. Then they stood in line with the rest of the people, accepting their food and finding a place to sit.
Nora dipped her roll in the gravy and took a bite.
“Did you come here a lot?” Cai asked.
Swallowing hard, she forced the roll down her throat. “Not for dinner, no. I didn’t come in until they started having free lunch in the summers. It was free for everyone, not just kids like me. Still I… uh… I tried not to. I didn’t want people to know I needed it. At school, I had this card I had to slide. It was different from all the other kids’ cards.” She shook her head, remembering the times she hadn’t eaten because she didn’t want a classmate to see her lunch card, or the times in the summer when she went to bed hungry because she recognized someone waiting in line for lunch. “And I was stupid. Stupid and proud. When things got
bad, maybe my mom hadn’t been home in a week, and I was out of spaghetti-o’s or ramen, or whatever, I’d have to force myself to come to this place. Even though it’s welcoming and Marge was— is—wonderful. She would let me help out, unboxing the lunches or stacking chairs, so I didn’t feel so…” She waved her fork in the air as she tried to think of the word. “… obvious.”
Cai set his fork down and reached for her hand. “I wonder if I saw you here.”
She lifted her glass to her lips, needing something to do, and shrugged. “I don’t know. I feel like I would have remembered you.” Her cheeks flushed and she dipped her head, hoping he wouldn’t notice.
Throwing his head back, he laughed. “I think I would have remembered you.”
“I would have made sure you didn’t.” While she meant it to come out playful, instead she sounded pathetic. He scooted his chair closer to hers, leaning against her shoulder. They ate silently, absorbed in their own thoughts.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered, turning in his seat. He propped his arm on the back of her chair and the other across the table, a muscled cage of protection. “I should have thought about this more.”
“No. It was nice. Good to see Pastor Marge, and I’ve walked by this church a hundred times. I should have come in before this.” She could tell he didn’t believe her. “Maybe this could be our date night,” she went on. “Our weekly thing we do?”
“Yeah?” he asked, examining her face.
“Yes.”
He kissed her. Then kissed her again, this time deeper. The sounds of the dining hall were lost; her pulse pounded in her ears. When she pulled away from him, she could see his pulse throbbing in his neck, and leaning forward, kissed the skin.
“Same time next week?”
A kiss was her answer. Cai pushed his chair back, reaching for her tray before standing up.
“Are we finished?” The dining hall was nearly empty. “What about clean-up?”
“Yeah? You don’t want to go?”
She shook her head. “Nah. It looks like there’s still stuff to do.”
