by C. L. Stone
“I will not soon understand humans.”
As an image of the guys pop into my head, I touch my lips. “Yeah, me either.”
10
DEFENDING MY HONOR
I wake up unable to move, a warm body draped over mine. My heart kicks into panic mode until I glance down to see a pink puff of hair on my stomach. Myrrine and I must have fallen asleep while talking last night.
“Myrrine, wake up.” I pat her shoulder, my legs numb under her weight.
With a soft coo, her head rolls, face nuzzling against the soft material of my bathrobe. Warm breath seeps through the material, followed by the gentle flutter of her snore. I shove her a little harder. “Myrrine, get off me.”
The coo comes again, and she burrows between the robe's front folds. A nose rubs over my stomach. “Hush, Petal. It is too soon to rise.”
When a hand slips in to caress my hip, I knee her in the stomach.
With a yelp, she shoots up onto all fours, hair a pink cloud around her face as she stares around in confusion. A thump comes from the closet, and the door flies open. Rumpled, Bastian lunges out, psy-gun in hand. Two sets of pale eyes fall on me. The bodyguard's eyebrows lift, and quietly, he shuts himself back inside the closet.
Purple swirls bloom in Myrrine's cheeks. “Caitlyn, my apologies.”
Blood heats my cheeks as I stare up at her. “It's fine.”
“Oh, it is?” Her eyes drift down to the thin gap in my robe. “I did not think you would accept my advances. But I am happy. As I have said, you smell quite lovely.”
“Wow, no.” I yank the material closed. “Not fine like that.”
“Ah, a shame.” A smile curls her plump lips. “I am quite skilled at the softer side of love, if you grow tired of your men.”
“I'll keep that in mind.” Self-conscious, I scoot out from under her to lean against the headboard.
Sitting back on her heels, she nibbles her lip. “Does it make you uncomfortable? I would not take advantage of you.”
“No, I wasn't thinking that.” I hug my knees against my chest. “I'm not used to waking up next to someone.”
“My apologies, I did not mean to intrude.” She swings long, opalescent legs off the bed and stands. Tension tightens her shoulders as she crosses to her side of the room.
“We fell asleep talking.” Guilt rolls through me. She looks so dejected. “It's fine.”
Back to me, she opens the dresser at the foot of her bed. “I do not think humans use that phrase the way halions do.”
A startled laugh escapes me. “Maybe. But I mean it. It's okay. I'm just...” I rub my cheek against the soft material of my bathrobe. It really does remind me of my stuffed sky skipper.
Myrrine turns to study me. “What is it, Caitlyn?”
“I'm not used to all this touching. My family, they're not big huggers. I've had more physical contact in the last few days than I have since I was five.” My gaze drops at her sad expression. I wasn't telling her this for pity. “It's hard to get used to.”
The rustle of cloth draws my attention. I glance up as she pulls the nightgown over her head. Faint yellow and blue clouds cover her back in darker opalescent swirls, her Riellio clan mark. Embarrassed, I turn to stare at the wall. Nope, still not used to her casual nudity.
“If I may be so bold.” More drawers open and shut, and I risk a peek as she slides black slacks over her hips. “You are most deserving of hugs. As a friend, I would be more than happy to provide them. You are quite cuddly.”
Warmth pools in my chest at the offer. “Thank you. I appreciate that.”
She turns, shirt in hand. I keep my eyes focused on her face. Yellow and blue swirls highlight her cheekbones as she glances toward the closet. With light steps, she comes to perch on the edge of my bed as she slips into the rest of her uniform.
She focuses on the buttons as her voice drops. “I appreciated your warmth last night. I am not used to being alone for so long.”
Curious, I study her downturned face. “Did you leave a lot of friends behind when you came here?”
“No, not many. But I am from a prime family and a female. I was never alone in the colonies.” Her gaze sweeps our room. “This space is small, and yet it is…very empty.”
I glance around with her but don't see the same thing. My room in the family house had a larger closet. I can understand, though, how she might feel alone here, separated from her people.
Hesitant, I pat her arm. “If you need a hug, let me know.”
A bright smile spreads across her face, making her pearlescent skin practically glow. “Thank you, Caitlyn. I enjoyed our slumber party last night immensely.”
As she bustles back to her side of the room and calls Bastian out of his closet, I have to wonder what I set myself up for.
~
At breakfast, Myrrine joins me at the guy's table. She sticks close to my side, narrowed gaze focused with suspicion on Connor. I guess she hasn't fully forgiven him for the bite mark even though I tried to tell her it wasn't him. Her bodyguard hovers at her back, an added layer of disapproval.
“Stop it,” I hiss at her when the guys begin to glance at each other with confusion.
She scoots her chair closer to mine and reaches out to fuss with my hair. “This braid is quite lovely, Caitlyn. Thank you for allowing Bastian to practice.”
“No problem.” I peer up at the looming giant. “Can't you sit down?”
His crystalline eyes flick to meet mine before he continues his watch of the room at large. “It would not be appropriate.”
On my other side, Felix scoots closer. “Caitlyn, share your jam with me. Declan wouldn't let me take any this morning.”
“Stop complaining and eat your omelet.” Across the table, Declan points his fork at the half-eaten eggs folded over protein cubes. “You need to keep up your energy.”
“Sugar gives me energy.” He shudders as he pokes a white cube on his plate. “This is just gross.”
“Perhaps you would like to try a pumpra, Felix?” Myrrine spoons out a slimy seed from the spiky fruit on her plate. Mucus trails from the jiggly ball she holds. “It has both sugar and protein. It is a perfect breakfast.”
We cringe away with equal levels of disgust. I push my seat out and stand. “I'm going to get another water. Anyone need anything?”
“Get me a juice?” Declan's request follows me back to the buffet table. Jars of liquid form an uneven triangle at the end of the table, next to the condiments. I take one plastic covered glass of water and one with purple liquid in it. Most likely grape. Wedging the water in the crook of my elbow, I nab a couple small bowls of jam. As I turn to leave, the server behind the table quickly rearranges the remaining cups.
I lean over Declan's shoulder, out of view, to place his juice on the table next to his plate.
“Thanks, Sparks.” His fingers catch mine with a light squeeze that sends tendrils of warmth up my arm.
“You're welcome.” Embarrassed, I glance down as I pull away. His brown hair curls a little around his neck, just above his shirt collar. I hadn't realized it has a slight wave. It looks soft, pet-able. My fingers itch to comb through it, to test the texture.
“Do you want to sit next to me?” He teases as his head turns in my direction. The shirt gapes open a little, and red teeth marks peek out. They form a ring on the muscle between neck and shoulder. I freeze as my neck throbs in sympathy. Declan frowns, gaze on my hand. “Those aren't for Felix, are they?”
“What?” I follow his eyes to the jam bowls. It takes a moment for my mind to get back on track. “No way. These are mine.”
His eyebrows crease. “Everything okay, Sparks?”
“Yeah, I'm good. Brightstreams all the way, Blaze.” I force a smile as I stumble back to my seat.
Confusion rolls through me. I don't need to compare to know Declan's bite marks will match my own. Is that why his roommate slept downstairs last night? I peek at Felix. His eyelids look heavy, his energy level low. If he
and Declan are lovers, why did they both kiss me last night?
~
I can't focus on class, which pisses me off. Space Research is one of the courses that actually sounds interesting. With the Vortex set to reopen in five years, halion and human scientists are hard at work to develop new technologies. Their end goal is to design a probe that can make the journey back through the energy field, the one which pulled our two races here over eight hundred years ago. The last seven attempts have failed; the robots either crash back to the planet's surface or simply disappear.
While I have no interest in being saved, the scientific advances have led to other improvements for life in the stacked cities. During one attempt to counter the Vortex's energy field, clan Rothven inadvertently created the light rings that propel disc-bikes.
Next to me, Felix snores quietly, head pillowed on his arms. Awake, he flirts and jokes. Always in motion. He's fun to be around, even if he pushes the boundaries too far sometimes. With his face relaxed in sleep, the fine lines of his cheekbones and the narrow swoop of his eyebrows are beautiful. It's no wonder Declan finds him attractive.
My gaze shifts to the seat in front of me. Declan bends over his tablet, focused on the lecture. His hand goes up more often than Myrrine's today. I can't help but stare at his collar, imagination on overtime as I consider where else Felix left marks. Should I ask Connor about it? I reject the thought as soon as it crosses my mind. It's none of my business.
Unless it is?
Their kisses throw me into turmoil. Confusion reigns supreme, but under it, I can't deny the hurt. Which is stupid. If they want to sleep together, they have every right to. But then why show interest in me? Are they just playing around? I let myself be drawn into their group, and now, I can't tell the line between play and reality.
My inexperience will hurt me here. I should have stuck to my original plan to maintain my distance. Then I wouldn't have to feel these things.
Father's right, emotions make people weak.
Class, and then lunch, pass in a blur. More students get through without reprimand. Today, we make it to the fourth course. I force myself to eat because to leave food on one's plate shows contempt for one's host. The grilled mesuki sits in a greasy ball in my stomach, making me nauseated through the second half of our lesson.
At the end, I have no notes or memory of anything the instructor taught. I'll have to borrow Myrrine's notes tonight or fall behind.
“You okay, Sparks?” Connor asks as we leave the room. His gaze focuses on me with concern.
I avert my face, not sure what my expression tells him. “Yeah, just a little tired. I think I'll skip dinner and go to bed early tonight.”
“No, you can't.” Felix's arms drape over my shoulders from behind, his weight making me stumble. “We were going to go to the entertainment hall tonight.”
“I'll pass. I should get some studying done.”
“Then let's go to the library,” Declan suggests.
“Boo. Hiss.” Felix props his chin on top of my head and walking becomes more difficult. “Tell Dec he's boring, Sprinkles.”
“What?” The warmth of his body sinks into mine, rolling my stomach with confusion. He should be clinging to Declan right now. Not me. “Why are you calling me that?”
“Because you taste so sweet. Like sugar.”
I stumble as my feet tangle on themselves. Heat floods my cheeks, embarrassed he would say that in front of the other guys. “I'm never using that lotion again.”
“But why?” His cheek drops to nuzzle against mine. “It makes me want to gobble you up.”
I elbow him, and he moves away with a grunt. “More reason not to use it.”
Declan's arm slings around Felix's neck in a headlock. “What are you talking about?”
“Sprinkles has edible lotion.” Felix smacks his lips together. “Super yummy.”
Declan's gaze locks on mine over his friend's head. “You don't say.”
Surprised, I stare back. He doesn't seem angry at all. Is he not jealous Felix would know what my lotion tastes like? Instead, calculation enters his eyes, and my heart skips a beat. Nervous, I circle around to Connor's other side, out of his line of sight. No way this is turning out like yesterday did with the healing ointment.
“Where are you running to, Sparks?” Declan laughs. “I want to hear more about this lotion.”
“I'll give you the bottle then,” I say from the safety of Connor's shadow. “It's dead to me now.”
“No, don't say that.” A scuffle sounds, and I peek around to see Felix with his arms extended toward me as Declan holds him back. “Dec, let me go. I need to lick Sprinkles while she's still sweet.”
“I'm not food.”
“You're better than food.” Felix stops struggling to stare at me with wide eyes. “You're cake frosting.”
“Okay.” Connor glances down at me. “Now I'm curious, too.”
“No.” I point my finger at him. “Just, no.”
Connor smiles as he bumps his elbow against my arm. “Glad you seem happier now.”
“What are you talking about?” I push open the door and squint against the orange glow of the dual suns.
“You've been quiet since breakfast.” Connor follows me out; Felix and Declan close behind.
The other two have their heads together in whispered conversation, their eyes darting to me every so often. I don't even want to guess at their topic of interest. Hand on my satchel, I stride down the steps onto the circular pathway.
I glance up at Connor, who stays by my side. “I've had a lot on my mind.”
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“Yes.” I glance back at the other two. Declan now carries Felix on his back as the two continue to talk in hushed tones. “No.”
Connor's arm bumps against mine again. “Is it about last night?”
Startled, I glance up at him. His green eyes smolder from behind his glasses, and I remember what he said right before I went into my dorm. Standing by his side suddenly feels less safe.
He wants to kiss me. Even knowing that Declan and Felix already have. Is it a game for them? Their need to compete finding a new outlet outside of the disc-bike races? My fingers flex, wanting to form fists. But that gives too much away.
Father always said people only build relationships to use the other person. Are they nice to me now because they think they can get something from me later? My chest hurts. I feel dirty inside, my father's influence a black sludge on my soul. Do I really think they're toying with me?
A frown tugs at his lips. “Hey, what are you thinking about?”
“Nothing.” I grip the strap of my bag, not liking the path my mind wants to follow.
When we reach the dorms, Declan rubs his hands together. “Okay, let's change and meet back in twenty minutes.”
“Have fun.” Shoulders slumped, I wave as I head toward the stairs.
“Wait.” Declan's fingers circle my wrist. “Aren't you coming? We're going to the library so we can all study together.”
My pulse leaps under his touch, and I pull free before he notices. I focus on his shoulder where his shirt hides secret bite marks. “Don't worry about me. Go to the entertainment hall.”
A warm hand cups my cheek, tilting my face up to meet his light-brown eyes. His voice drops to a low rumble of concern. “What's going on? Are you pulling away from us again?”
This close, I notice a starburst of yellow around his pupil. It pulls me in like the light rings on a disc-bike. Beneath his hand, my skin buzzes with energy. I blink, forcing myself to break the trance.
A step back pulls me further from his influence. “Am I not allowed to have alone time?”
He stiffens as his gaze narrows. “That depends on why you want it.”
Felix and Connor stand on either side of Declan, mirrored statues of concern. Around us, curious students glance in our direction. We've kept our voices quiet, but the four of us, clumped in front of the stairs, draw attention.
>
“Don't read into it.” I turn to head upstairs. “Everything's fine.”
“No, it's not.” His determined voice comes from behind as he follows me up toward the dorms. “You've been off all day.”
“I'm just tired.” My hand lifts to touch the converter coil under my shirt, but it doesn't bring me comfort. Disheartened, I reach the top of the stairs. “Leave it alone, Declan.”
“No.”
“Why not?” Exasperated, I glance over my shoulder. He pauses, one step down. The twins, right behind him, come to a stop.
The hand on the banister turns white-knuckled as he grips it. “Because it feels like I'm chasing your light stream right now, and you're getting farther away.”
A knot forms in my gut. “Then maybe you should stop trying.”
“No.” His shoulders tense as he advances to join me in the hall. “I won't be trapped in this glass bubble, pretending I don't want to be with you.”
My gaze shoots to Felix. A frown twists his mouth as he stares at us. Why would Declan say something like that in front of him? Doesn't he care at all about other people's feelings?
Angry, I focus on the asshole in front of me. “Well, maybe I don't want to be with you.”
“You're lying.” The hallway seems to shrink around him as he stalks forward, a powerful force that blocks out everything around him. “You don't think I can feel your pulse spike every time I touch you? The way you started to melt last night?”
My heart lurches as I turn away. “Wow. That's some ego you have.”
“It's the truth.”
“Back off.” Ahead, my dorm door comes into view. He won't follow me in, not with Myrrine there.
“Are you scared?” His voice chills. “I didn't think you were weak enough to run away from a challenge.”
“Hey, now, Dec,” one of the twins whispers. “You're going too far.”
I swing around to face him. “What challenge am I running from?”
“Life.” He steps forward. “Emotions.” Another step into my personal space. “Us.”
