by C. L. Stone
“No brothers or sisters or other family?” Matt asked, and she shook her head.
“Just me and Mum.” She smiled at him. “It’s not nearly as bad as it sounds. I’ve visited more places in this country than most people have. I’ve lived in Scotland, Wales, a lot of places in England, and now I’m in Cornwall.”
“But what if you find a place you really like? A place you really want to stay in and not leave?” Jake asked, taking a chip from Josh’s plate as his own was now empty. She noticed Josh didn’t say anything, just pushed the plate slightly closer to Jake.
“I’ve never been anywhere that has made me feel that way,” she admitted. “Mum has always tended to stay in cities or towns. This is the first place that’s been out of town.”
“And do you like it here?” Nate asked her. She watched as he separated his peas from the rest of his mixed vegetables, and pushed them to the edge of his plate.
“I’ve only been here a few days, but I like it so far. Our cottage is pretty.”
“You’re down on Derry’s Lane,” Matt said, polishing off the last of his lasagne. Nate picked up his plate and pushed all his peas onto Matt’s plate. Again, nothing was said. It was such an intimate act that Lily was beginning to see just how close they all were.
Matt began to eat the peas as Nate carried on with his cottage pie. Lily picked at the skin on her apple. Something about the way they were with each other sent a pang of longing through her. She was close to her mother, had always been close. She’d had friends of a sort, but she’d never had a relationship with a friend that was more than casual, and none that ever offered to keep in touch with her. She’d never had a best friend, and it hadn’t bothered her. But there was something about these four that she wanted for herself. She wanted that informal connection with someone. She wanted someone to know her better than she knew herself, and to know someone that well in return.
“Those are old worker cottages,” Matt spoke up again. “There’s an old quarry just outside of the village. Disused now, but there’s a pool in the old quarry that’s safe to swim in.”
“But don’t go there alone,” Nate spoke up suddenly. “It’s deep, and there’s only one exit point. If you got into trouble on your own, no one would know.”
“We go down most weekends. Want to come with us this Saturday?” Josh asked her. He began stacking his and Jake’s plates on the trays.
His question took her by surprise, and she felt a longing to join in.
“Sometimes the other village kids go there as well,” Matt added. “It’s more popular than the swimming pool in town. Free as well.”
“Yes, okay. I’d like that. Don’t worry if you decide you can’t make it though,” she said. She wanted to go with them, wanted the chance to make friends with them. She realised that they were already a unit, and being boys they wouldn’t be looking to make her their new best friend, but she didn’t need that. She just wanted some friends for as long as she was here.
“We’ll make it,” Nate said. “We’ll come around for you just after lunch, gives the water chance to warm up a bit. Although, I’ll warn you now, it’s colder than river water. It’s going to get too cold to swim in it soon.”
“Understatement, Nate,” Jake retorted. “It’s freezing; it will take your breath away when you jump in.”
“Will that affect your epilepsy?” Matt asked suddenly, he leant forward slightly, his whiskey coloured eyes intent on her.
“I wouldn’t think so,” she said with a shrug. “I’ve been swimming in cold river water before.”
“What does trigger it?” asked Josh.
“I take medication, so I’m usually okay. But I guess it’s the usual: stress, being overtired. I was doing okay. I haven’t had one for six months.”
“What’s it like?” asked Matt, and then waved a hand apologetically at her. “No, sorry, that’s a personal question.”
“It’s okay. I don’t mind talking about it. Invariably people ask when they find out anyway.”
She set her apple core on her plate. “It’s weird I guess. I don’t get a warning or anything. I just suddenly go down.”
“Has it ever happened like that before?” asked Nate. They were watching her intently, and it made her want to slink down in her chair. It was like they were hanging onto every word she said, as if it held the answer to mankind’s problems, and not just her boring life. It was intimidating.
“What do you mean?”
“Has someone’s touch ever sparked it off before?” Jake clarified for her.
Her head went back, and she stared at him before looking at Nate. “Matt didn’t cause it. Is that what you thought?” Had she done something to make him think it was him that caused it? Maybe her attitude in class had made him think it. She had shot out of there very quickly. She winced, feeling bad.
“It just seemed odd,” Matt said, an easygoing smile on his face that didn’t quite reach his eyes.
“Bad timing.” She sat forward making sure he was looking at her. “It really was just utter bad timing. It’s happened before. I was at a fairground last summer, queueing to go on the carousel. I paid my money to the guy, he gave me the change and bam, I was down. Fortunately, Mum was with me and they had St. John Ambulance there as well. It really doesn’t have a rhythm or reason to it. I don’t know why it happened then either. I don’t have photosensitive epilepsy. Lights don’t seem to affect me, it really is random. But it was definitely not you, Matt.”
“What does it feel like?” Matt asked.
“Usually it’s just like a lot of swirling colours before I lose consciousness and then I’m back again, feeling as if a ten-ton truck has run me over.”
“Usually, so, not always?” Nate asked curiously. She looked at him, her eyes made contact with his, but all she could see was mild curiosity.
“Well, I guess.” She shrugged again, there probably wasn’t any harm in telling them what happened this time. She was certain it was just the added stress from moving twice in such a short space of time. “This time was a bit different. I didn’t get the colours, I just got a load of random things.” She picked at the apple core, pulling out the seeds.
“Random things?” Jake asked quietly, he was looking up at her from under his fringe.
“Well, you, I saw all of you, places, just random things. I think most of it was jumbled up because I was overtired, and a little bit stressed from the move.”
“And have you seen anything like that before?” Nate asked, and once again she had the feeling her answer was important to him.
“No, but they have changed over the years. I didn’t get tonic-clonic seizures until I was about twelve, before that I had absence seizures.”
“Absence?” asked Jake with a frown. “What’s that?”
“For a couple of seconds I just used to blank out, stare into space, but I didn’t know I was doing it.” She set her seeds into a star shape on the tray. “But I can tell you now one hundred percent, Matt, that it was not you. You may be nice, but you’re not seizure inducing.” She smiled at him, desperate for him to know it wasn’t his fault.
“Damn, I thought I’d made such an impression on you that I just swept you off your feet into a good old fashioned swoon.”
Relief swept through her, and she held out both hands. “No, none of you will make me swoon if you touch me; go ahead, I’ll prove it.”
“Ah, shit, Lil, way to stamp on a man’s ego,” Jake pouted, his bottom lip trembled, but his eyes sparkled.
“I’m quite sure you have enough of the female population here swooning over you already,” she said with a wink. “You don’t need me adding to it.”
“Maybe we do,” Nate said. He reached forward and gripped her hands in his. His fingers were long and slim with clean nails. She liked the feel of them, but there were no blinding lights and she hadn’t expected any.
“Nothing, I’m afraid.” She looked at the twins. “Want to play Russian roulette?”
Nate let go of her hands with a
laugh. Josh and Jake reached over and took a hand each, and as before, nothing happened. Their grip was firm, and she could see they bit their fingernails.
“Nada,” she said with a laugh. She looked over at Matt. “Wanna try it again?”
He grinned at her, reached out and took her hand from Josh. He brought it towards him and kissed the back of her hand. She laughed, her other hand still held in Jake’s. She felt him tug her his way and then his lips were on the back of her hand.
“Hey, guys, enough.” She laughed, her cheeks firing up again. “You’ll make me swoon.”
“That’s what we were aiming for.” Jake chuckled, and leant back in his chair putting his arm over the back. Josh leant forward, snapping his fingers at her.
“Come on, hand, please,” he commanded. “Nate, we can’t let these two one up us.”
“Not likely.” Nate smirked and held his out to her as well. She lifted her hands, laughing as they kissed the backs of her hands. Nate kept his eyes on hers as he bent over her hand, and she couldn’t stop the laughter that spilled from them teasing her.
“Boys, boys, you have no idea where these hands have been.” She chuckled, trying to get them to let her hands go, but they were holding fast.
“I’m sure you know how to use soap and water,” Nate said with a grin. “It smells like it, anyway.”
“Can I have them back now?” They loosened their hold, and she pulled her hands free, grinning at them.
The overhead bell rang, and Matt got up immediately. He picked up her rubbish and put it on his tray.
“I can take it,” she protested.
“I know you can, but I’m still working towards a swoon from you, don’t spoil it.”
She picked up her bags and stood up, thanking him.
She liked them, she liked them a lot. There was a false start with Nate, but he seemed easier with her now. They were friendly, funny, and they seemed to have accepted her. She knew better than to get too involved with any of them, but she would enjoy their friendship for as long as she was here. And when it came time to move on again, she’d say goodbye and take with her some good memories. If she didn’t make the kind of connection they shared, then it would be for the best.
“What’ve you got next?” Josh asked as they left the canteen.
“French.”
“I’m taking French too,” Nate said and fell into step with her. “I’ll walk with you.”
The others were heading to different subjects, and she said goodbye to them before heading down the corridor with Nate. Now that she was alone with him, she felt a little nervous, wondering if perhaps he was friendly with her for the others.
“What do you have planned for Uni?” he asked as they arrived at the still closed door. There were several students already there, and she recognised a few faces from her Maths class.
“I don’t know yet,” she replied, leaning against the wall.
“Hello, Nate,” came a breathy voice. She saw a pretty girl with long flame coloured hair coming down the corridor. She wore the college uniform of black skirt, white shirt, and black tie with the college crest on it, same as Lily did. Somehow, this girl managed to make it look sexy.
“Connie.” He nodded his head at her but made no move to say anything else to her. Connie looked at Lily and tilted her head.
“You’re new?”
Lily nodded at her. “Just moved in.”
“Let me warn you about Nathan Cohen then. He’s a heartbreaker, aren’t you, Nate? They all are, that lot.”
“Connie, leave it,” he said. Lily watched with interest. Connie shrugged and looked back over her shoulder to where her friends were gathered.
“Whatever. Say hi to Matt for me,” she said and turned to go back to her friends.
Lily looked at Nate. A small muscle worked on the edge of his jaw, and his eyes were hard behind his glasses. He was watching Connie as she leant against the wall turning her back to him. She couldn’t see any signs of anger, or pain in his eyes, but she had an idea that she had been his girlfriend at some point. Whatever it was, it was none of her business.
“Your full name is Nathan?” she asked him. He turned his head without moving his body, and those blue eyes were focused on her.
“Is that all you want to know from that conversation?” he asked.
“I think it’s probably none of my business, not even your name really.” And it wasn’t. She might want to be their friend, but that didn’t give her access to everything about them.
He relaxed his jaw line, and the muscle tick stopped. “She’s Matt’s ex-girlfriend. And no, Nate is not short for Nathan.” He gave her a small grin that she returned without even thinking about.
“Nathaniel?” she asked as the door opened, and the teacher indicated for them to go inside.
“Nope, now shut up, Lily Adair, and come sit with me. There’s a free seat next to me.”
Lily followed him to the back of the classroom and sat down at the shared desk. For some reason, none of them had buddied up. The twins were together obviously, but there was no one sitting next to Matt, and now it seemed as if Nate also had an empty seat beside him. This was their second year of A levels in already established classes, so it was logical to assume that last year they hadn’t been paired with anyone either. She couldn’t help but wonder why.
“Calme, s’il vous plaît, mesdames et messieurs. Tous les téléphones loin ou ils seront confisqués.”
There was a rustle as mobiles were put away into bags.
“She’s not joking either,” Nate murmured. “She’ll confiscate it if she sees it. Which reminds me, on the way home we’ll swap out phone numbers.” He kept his voice low as he spoke, his eyes on the small petite woman that was their French teacher.
He wanted her number and was going to give her his. That was a first for Lily. She’d never swapped out phone numbers with people before. She’d never needed to. She had one contact number on there and that was her mother. She’d never even thought about it before. There’d never been a need to have someone else’s number on her phone. She wondered briefly if she was going to make things difficult for herself when it came time to say goodbye.
“Miss Adair, welcome to my class. This will be your textbook for the year. I’m Madame Fontaine, any questions, please ask.” She stopped beside Lily’s desk and held out the book to her.
Lily took it and looked up at the small woman. Her straw coloured hair was pulled into two braids on either side of her face, her skin was wrinkled with age, but she looked pleasant and her faded blue eyes were kind. She was dressed as if she needed to wear every colour of the rainbow at the same time, but in a weird way, it worked. She was unique.
“Merci, Madame Fontaine,” she said, and received a wide smile in return.
“Bien.” She went back to the front of the class.
Nate nudged her arm gently. “I think I’ve just found a way we can wind up Matt and the twins.” His smirk was wicked. “They’re useless at French.”
“Ohhh, mean,” she whispered back, grinning.
“But satisfying,” he said and sat back in his seat, pushing his glasses up his nose and focusing on Madame Fontaine as she started the lesson.
Lily felt a spark of warmth slide through her. Normally at this point in the year she was still trying to fit in. She wouldn't know anyone and would still be sitting on her own and eating on her own at lunchtime. It usually took a few weeks, if not months, before she was included in any established friendships.
But this year? This year was looking far better than any before.
7
AYE!
The final bell of the day rang, and Lily slid her books into her bag. She groaned when she put it over her head. Now that she had all her textbooks it was heavy. She debated whether she might be better off buying a backpack to make it easier to carry. But she liked her messenger bag. It was a pale grey colour, and she’d decorated it with permanent markers. Each year, for the past six years, she’d added
somewhere on the bag the crest of whichever school she was in. Before the year was up she’d add the Heathview crest. As crests went, it would be an easy one to draw. It was three blue wavy lines with an anchor above them, Heathview College in script above it, and Noli Cedero Cognoscere under it. She didn’t know what the Latin meant, but the boys would probably know.
She stopped outside the classroom door, standing to one side to avoid the rush of students. Matt had told her to wait for them and they’d give her a lift home, but there was no sign of them yet. She had no idea where their classrooms were in relation to hers. She just knew that Matt told her they passed this room. But what if they’d forgotten her? They might be friendly in class and at lunch times, but there was no reason why she would stand out enough for them to really bother with her. She checked her watch; there were ten minutes before the bus would leave, stranding her here. She would wait for another couple of minutes and then move on. She’d rearrange her bag, and then when they didn’t turn up it would just look like she was sorting her bag to make it easier to carry, and not that she’d been stood up.
Stood up?
It was a car ride home, not a date. She crouched on the floor pulling her books out of the bag, irritated with herself. She may have found them attractive physically, but that didn’t mean they liked her that way. All they’d offered was a car ride, and here she was acting as if they’d asked her on a date. And if they did ask her, which they wouldn’t, how could she pick between them anyway? She huffed her breath out in annoyance, stuffing her books back into her bag. Now she was being ridiculous, why would she have to choose when there was no likelihood of them liking her that way? She knew Matt had flirted with her, but that was before she’d flipped out on him and he saw what a mess she was. Epilepsy was exhausting, not just for the person who suffered from it, but for the person who cared for them. She couldn’t be left alone for long; she couldn’t drive; she couldn’t even take a bath unless her mum was in the house and even then she had to leave the door open. Why would anyone willingly want to take that on? Who would want to take her on?
