Makayla smiled and nodded. “I think he would be. Can I tell him to …”
“Yeah, he can call me.”
“Okay.” She smiled again.
So that was it. Devin. That was going to be his way back in. It should have been obvious all along, but he’d missed it. But just this tiny glimmer from him of ‘I-actually-give-a-fuck’ where Devin was concerned, and she was already looking at him differently. And the good news was, Jamal actually did give a fuck. Once he’d actually attained the brass ring, it was easier to be clearheaded about his missteps on his way to getting there.
Less than two weeks after Devin had the crap beaten out of him in the park, he had hauled the poor kid into a meeting and presented him with an adhesion contract which required him to stay in the closet and pretend his considerable emotional issues did not exist. If he hadn’t been so selfish, Jamal would have seen what he saw now—that Devin’s behavior was self-harming behavior and not something that a good talking-to was going to fix. In retrospect, thinking about what he’d done in that meeting, and what he said to her afterwards, it was a wonder Makayla wanted anything to do with him at all.
“Look,” he said, hand on the doorknob. “It’s been kind of crazy and hectic lately, and after this week I have a little more travel coming up. But when I’m back, I’d like to see you.”
“You’re seeing me now,” she said quietly.
“No, I mean, really see you. So we can talk. I think we should. Don’t you?”
Makayla looked uncertain once again. “Jamal. You’re with Madison. I don’t …”
“I’ve gone on some dates with her,” he admitted. “I’ve spent some time with her. But it’s not …”
“You once told me that whatever was going on with her, you needed to respect that by not sharing it with me. I think you should stick to that. And maybe we can talk again once you’ve … resolved your situation.”
Jamal nodded. “Fair enough.” He opened the door and backed out of the office.
_______________
“So … Kay told me you said I should call you?”
Devin sounded different. Humbled. But that should have been no surprise. When you saw someone’s dirtiest secrets, it was probably hard for them to maintain the façade they’d put up before.
“Yeah, man. First of all, how’re you doing?” Jamal had to walk away from a group of people he was talking to at a cocktail party to take the call. Something told him that Devin would not call twice.
Cocktail parties were what he went to now. Now he was the guy who would be expected to go to quiet, urbane gatherings like this one and make nice with quiet, urbane people. It was a real head-trip. Especially since not six months ago, he was in strip clubs making it rain to keep a bunch of rappers happy.
“I’m good. Getting back on the local club circuit. You know …” Devin’s voice trailed off.
“So the reason I wanted to talk to you … we still have all those shots we took, from the photo shoots and everything. And the recordings. All of that stuff, if you’re interested, you can have.”
Devin said nothing, but Jamal figured he was probably trying to figure out what the catch was. Across the room, Madison was watching him, probably curious about who could be so important as to make him take a phone call in the middle of a business event.
“And the other thing was, I have a contact, a dude I used to work with who does development and branding consulting. He owes me a couple favors and I don’t know, I wondered whether you might be interested in talking to him. Wouldn’t cost you anything.”
“Yeah,” Devin said. “That’d be cool.”
“Good. But look, I’m at a thing and I don’t have his number in my phone so you’re going to have to call me back, like maybe tomorrow at the office. First thing though, because I’m flying out in the afternoon. But call me, and I’ll give you all his contact info then.”
“Thank you.”
“No problem. Anyway, you take …”
“Hey, Jamal.”
“Yeah?”
“She’s … she’s not going anywhere. She’s waiting for you.”
Nearby, a woman’s shrill laughter made it difficult for Jamal to be sure he’d heard what he thought he heard. Putting a finger in the ear not covered by the phone, he walked toward the foyer where fewer people were milling.
“What did you say?”
“Kay. She’s … I guess she’s, y’know, she’s in love with you, or something,” Devin said, clearing his throat as though the words choked him on the way out.
Jamal grinned.
“I ain’ mean you no harm, man,” Devin said. “Not even when you were with her. It’s just … apart from music, Kay’s the only thing in my life that’s worth a damn. I didn’t want to lose her.”
“I don’t think you could, Devin,” Jamal said honestly.
“Yeah … but the fear of it, y’know?” Devin said. “That’s always the killin’ part. The fear.”
“Yeah,” Jamal said. “That is the killin’ part.”
Madison was quiet during the drive after the party and he was too. He didn’t realize how quiet until they pulled up in front of her building and he turned off the engine. They had driven clear across town and he hadn’t said a word to her, nor she to him.
“Is this where you give me a cordial kiss goodbye and pull off without even coming up?” she asked.
“You know I’m traveling tomorrow,” Jamal said. “Otherwise …”
Madison shook her head. “Otherwise, nothing. You still wouldn’t have come up.”
Turning to look directly at her, Jamal took a breath. It was time. Madison was beautiful in a cocktail dress, and seamlessly fit into the life he was beginning to have. She knew how to make conversation with the wives of other CEOs, and could bring to the table some of her own business contacts that might even grease the wheels as he built his own legacy at SE.
But the heart wanted what it wanted.
“You’re right,” he said.
“You are not at all what I thought you were Jamal Turner,” she said ruefully.
“Madison, I’m sorry. I know I …”
“Don’t worry.” She touched his arm. “This isn’t a wind-up to me saying anything hateful and vitriolic. I was actually going to compliment you.”
“Compliment me?”
“Yes. For your valiant effort.”
Jamal laughed. “Still not following.”
“I asked you to choose me, and to try to make a life with me in the picture. And I’ll be damned if you didn’t give it your best shot.” She laughed as well, but with no real humor in her voice. “But it doesn’t work that way, does it?”
Jamal shook his head. “Maybe for some people. Just … just not for me.”
“Understood.”
Madison leaned over and kissed him on the cheek. Her hair brushed the side of his face, and she smelled wonderful, soft and feminine. And it had no effect on Jamal whatsoever.
“You take care of yourself,” she said as she opened the car door.
He watched her as she walked up to her apartment entrance and waved at her when she paused, turned, and looked back at him one last time. And giving him a slow, sad smile Madison disappeared inside.
_______________
It was almost six-thirty in the morning and Jamal was getting ready for work, running late because he hadn’t slept well. All night he’d been thinking about what Devin said.
She’s waiting for you.
She’s not going anywhere.
The minute he heard the words, Jamal was ready to drop everything and drive over to her place and get his woman. But he needed to wrap his mind around what it was he was going to do, what he was going to say. He knew what he wanted to do and say, but maybe it was a mixture of crazy and impulsive, wrapped up in horniness and missing her; so he forced himself to go home and stay home. The one thing he couldn’t do though, was make himself sleep. So he turned it over and over considering from all angles because once he went
this route, there were no take-backs.
And once he made up his mind—which happened around four in the morning—he still couldn’t sleep, and was too amped up. So he worked out in his building’s gym and that only made him more amped until he crashed for an hour around five in the morning.
When he got to the office, he had almost no time to himself. He met with his team, and then spent the rest of the morning with Chris in his office. They were both flying back out West for a week, and then back to New York where, thank God, there were no other trips on the horizon for several weeks. The only thing he would have to contend with on his return was the party Robyn was throwing for him. It was going to be at the Scaife’s house once again, with about one hundred of his ‘friends’ and colleagues. Jamal hadn’t even looked at the guest list, but told Robyn that she should do her thing, and he would simply show up at the appointed day and time.
“Why you so jumpy?” Chris asked him from across the room.
Jamal didn’t realize until Chris said something that his leg had been bouncing up and down. He stopped it, and shrugged.
“Something I want to do before we get on this plane.”
“Then go do it,” Chris said. “Because you’re driving me crazy with that shit.”
Jamal grinned. “A’ight. I’ll be right back.”
Chris shook his head and looked down at the time. “We have to jet in twenty minutes.”
“Yeah, don’t worry Boss Man. I’ll only take ten.”
The elevator couldn’t come quickly enough, and when he was in it, couldn’t get to the floor fast enough. Jamal nodded at the receptionist and headed for Makayla’s office, cursing under his breath when he found it empty. Coming back out to reception, he quickly checked the name-plate.
“Tiffany,” he said. “I don’t suppose you know where Makayla Hughes is.”
“In the department meeting, I would expect. Down in the conference room.”
“Thank you.” Jamal walked further down the hall and past Makayla’s office to the conference room where what now seemed like forever ago, he’d made her a proposition that he had no way of knowing then would change his life. As he opened the door, two dozen heads turned, but he was only scanning the faces for one.
“Jamal,” Serena said. “Can we ..?”
“Just need Makayla for a second. If that’s not too much trouble.”
Makayla pushed away from the conference room table and came around to the door, while everyone watched, a couple of the women exchanging looks and smiles. When she got to him, Makayla’s expression was quizzical, confused. Taking her hand, Jamal led her to her office and shut the door.
“I have to go to L.A.,” he said.
She nodded. “Okay?”
“But before I go, I wanted to let you know that my … situation, as you call it? That’s been resolved.”
Makayla sat on the edge of her desk. That hopeful look was in her eyes again. She pursed her lips, waiting for him to say more. He wanted to say more, tell her what he’d realized the night before, but it was probably too soon. So instead, he did what he’d been wanting to do for weeks now.
He walked up to her, cupping her face with his hands and kissed her. Makayla put her hands up and held his wrists, kissing him back, and Jamal’s entire body exhaled. When he pulled away, Makayla’s eyes were wet and she pulled in her lower lip as though they had parted too soon, and she wanted to taste him again.
He smiled at her, releasing her. “I have to go,” he said.
“Wait …” Makayla stood abruptly as though panicked. “Like … now? You’re going to L.A. now?”
“Yeah. But it’s only for a week.”
Makayla’s shoulders fell, and Jamal smiled again. She was still really bad at hiding her feelings.
“I’ll call you though,” he said. “And we’ll Skype.”
She nodded. “Okay.”
Kissing her quickly one last time, Jamal left the office and sprinted for the elevator.
_______________
Chris and he had just boarded and settled in. They were on the tarmac, awaiting clearance to take off. Jamal toyed with his phone for a moment, and finally sent Makayla an IM with the question he’d long been wanting to ask.
What were you about to say that day?
She answered within moments. What was I about to say when?
When we were talking before the all-staff meeting. When Chris made the announcement.
I don’t know. What did I say?
You were asking me, how were you supposed to choose between doing right by your best friend, or being with the man you …? And then I interrupted you.
So you shouldn’t have done that.
C’mon. I’m in a plane. We’re about to take off. Tell me.
??
That’s what I want to know. Your best friend, or the man you … what?
Several times Jamal saw the ellipsis appear and disappear on the screen. She was typing, but it seemed to take forever.
That’s an easy one, she finally responded.
So if it’s so easy, are you going to tell me?
Yes.
Are you messing with me?
Yes. :)
Tell me. He typed quickly. The plane had begun to taxi. In a moment, their flight attendant was going to tell him he had to turn his phone off.
The man I love, came the response. I was about to ask how you expected me to choose between my best friend, and the man I love, Jamal. Duh.
Jamal smiled. Yeah, he typed back. I knew that. Just wanted you to say it.
:)
23
“You know how I know he a good man?”
“No, Nana. Tell me, how do you know he’s a good man?” Makayla was combing her grandmother’s hair through after her bath.
“He call you the same time e’ry morning and e’ry evening. Same exact time. Six-thirty a.m., seven-thirty p.m. That’s a good man. He gon’ be good to you.”
Laughing, Makayla began braiding. “I think even he would say that’s a very low bar to meet. Keeping telephone dates for five days in a row does not a good man make.”
“No, baby. Sometimes it’s the little things. Being where you say you gon’ be, when you say you gon’ be there. The way he ask you how’m doin’? Little things.”
Makayla did like how Jamal asked after her grandmother every time he called, and the predictable routine of his calls since he’d been in California were comforting as well. He didn’t call her at work, and only very occasionally did he text her during the day, but before and after work, she knew he would call.
They talked about everything and nothing, but no heavy stuff, no relationship stuff. He told her about his meetings, and about how much of an adjustment it was to have Chris begin to defer to him on decision-making. He said he was surprised that the notoriously hands-on Chris Scaife was able to so easily let go of the reins.
He’s finding fulfillment elsewhere, then, Makayla suggested, remembering Robyn Scaife nursing their baby boy.
There was a new seriousness to Jamal now, a gravitas in his manner that hadn’t been there before. And though he didn’t say so, Makayla could tell he was a little bit stressed, a little overwhelmed by the scale and scope of his new role. So she tried to talk about frivolous things as well, to make him laugh. She told him about the new reality series that was starting, with the woman Riley, Tracy, Robyn and apparently he knew as well.
And every night, just as they were about to get off the phone, Makayla yearned to say the words. Just come out and tell him she loved him. He’d pried it out of her by text message, but now she wanted him to hear her say it. Even if he didn’t say it back. Still, she chickened-out every time.
But he was coming back in the morning, and she would see him at the party at Robyn Scaife’s house that evening. And maybe she would get tipsy on purpose so that she felt comfortable telling him then.
“So tell me again what he do,” Nana said.
“He runs the company,” Makayla said, hearing
the pride in her own voice. “He’s the president and CEO.”
“The whole company?”
It was the third time Makayla had told her grandmother what Jamal did, and the third time she had reacted in precisely the same way. But like telling a bedtime story to a child, she didn’t mind repeating it, because it gave her grandmother such pleasure to hear that Makayla was with a man who was so accomplished, and yet so good to her as well that he would ask after her grandmother and call every morning and evening at the same exact time.
“Yup. The whole company.” Makayla finished one braid and reached for a hair-tie to secure the ends, beginning to work on the other.
“You gon’ be his first lady?”
Makayla laughed. “What?”
“Well you said he the president.”
“Of the company, Nana.”
“I know that! That’s what I mean. I was makin’ a joke. Lord ha’ mercy, I ain’ that senile!”
“No one said you were even a little senile,” Makayla mumbled. “And no, I don’t think I’m going to be his first lady. Right now we’re just … you know, very good friends I guess.”
“You friends? He sleep over here ain’ he? That’s some kinda friend make you holler like that.”
Makayla gasped. “Oh my Go … Nana! You knew he was here all this time? And you … heard us?”
“Somebody fart in the next room, I’ma hear it. How the hell you think I could sleep through all that damn racket?”
“But you’re a heavy sleeper, though!”
Nana laughed. “Girl I ain’ never been no heavy sleeper. That’s just some mess I said to make you think I ain’ know what you was up to all those years ago when you was a teenager.”
“Oh my God. I can’t belie … Jamal is going to just …” Makayla stopped and smiled. “He’s going to think it’s funny, actually.”
“It is funny,” Nana said. “At least I think so.”
When the hair ritual was done, Makayla went to get her grandmother some tea, and made one for herself as well. And then they sat talking for a while until the old woman’s eyes began to flutter shut, and she almost lost her grip on the teacup. It had been a long time since they sat together like that, and it had worn Nana out.
The Come Up Page 28
