by Vaughn, Ann
"You're scowling right now."
"Touche," he said, handing her a towel to dry her hands when she turned the water off.
The dinner he'd prepared had been beyond delicious. Lainey was impressed with his cooking skills. He was such a contradiction. Warrior. Piano player. Gourmet chef. Hero. She'd seen first hand the way Riley and the others on the team treated him; like he was a cross between their absolute best friend and Superman or something. Now, because of what Mike had done for Sarah those months ago, Colt was even more devoted to him...and she could absolutely see it.
They sat at the bar, eating the meal he'd prepared and just talking about anything and everything. Lainey found that the more she talked to him, the more she was falling for him. Due to his career, he hadn't seen many of the TV shows she'd seen but he'd seen a lot of the movies she had, explaining that they had a lot of dead time, and well, Colt was a computer hacker. He liked to read, was partial to Stephen King, which also surprised her. She figured he'd like Tom Clancy. He did, but then explained to her that he liked to read to escape and some of Clancy's work hit too close to home.
"What about super hero movies?" she asked, leaning back in her chair.
"What about them?" he asked, refilling her wine glass.
"Do you like them?"
"Yeah, sure. The Iron Man and Avengers movies were great."
"Really?"
"Lots of action. Good writing. Good effects."
She shook her head, smiling as she took a sip of her wine.
"What?"
"Just when I think you're all sophisticated...piano, cooking...you admit to liking super hero movies."
"You don't?" he asked, surprised.
"I didn't say that...I just didn't think you would."
"I'm still a guy, Ms. Riley," he chuckled.
"Well, yeah, but..."
"I bet you can quote every line to Steel Magnolias and Beaches."
She shrugged. "What if I can?"
"And sing every song in The Sound of Music?"
"The Hills Are Alive..." she sang, making him laugh, "You need to do that more often, Commander. You have a great laugh."
"I laugh enough," he said, getting up to clear their plates, "you can't be around Riley and Colt for more than ten minutes without laughing or wanting to strangle them."
"Well, I haven't been around them together enough but you know, I grew up with Riley, Jack, Trevor and Aaron...if Colt and Riley are anything like them together...I don't know how you survived."
"It wasn't always easy. Colt knows how to push Riley's buttons, and Riley pushes right back. Like I said, it's like dealing with children sometimes."
"Oh! Don't insult the children, please!" she laughed, stepping to the sink to help him rinse the plates and load the dishwasher.
"I've got a lot of work to do tonight," he said, brushing his fingertips lightly over her hair. "You may as well go on to bed."
She nodded. "OK...but...where have you been sleeping? Or have you been sleeping?"
He kissed her forehead. "I've slept...enough."
"Mike," she began but then stopped herself, "no, never mind. You're a big boy, and I've enjoyed tonight too much to argue with you. Work well, Commander," she said, starting to walk away.
"Hey," he said, stopping her.
"What?" she snapped.
He chuckled. "Damn Irish," he said, leaning down to kiss her, "Good night."
"Good night, Commander."
Chapter Twenty-Two
Mike worked on contracts and returning emails until well into the wee hours of the night. With all the attention to the Conroy situation and handling the security details for the Founders Day Ball, he'd fallen behind on the day-to-day operations of Orion. Melissa's arrival couldn't come soon enough, he thought yet again. He also spent a good deal of time researching Charles Conroy, looking for anything that might help them find where he could be hiding. For now, with the Ball so near, he was content to allow her father's police force to handle the search, but once the Ball was over, he planned to go on the hunt. Charles Conroy would not be running her life much longer.
Glancing at the clock, he saw that it was already after three in the morning. He shut the computer down and after checking the monitors and locks, got up to stretch. He'd been sleeping downstairs on the couch, when he did sleep, but tonight, it held little appeal for him. The siren call of Lainey Riley upstairs in his bed was getting harder and harder for him to ignore, and tonight, he didn't want to.
He went upstairs to his room, then stood beside the bed for several moments, watching her sleep. She was curled on her side, facing away from him, her blonde curls and the top of her shoulder all he could see of her. Desire and a strong need to claim her coursed through him. For the first time in a while, it was just the two of them in the house. It would be so easy, he thought, to crawl in with her and claim her once and for all. She wouldn't resist, he knew that without a doubt; she'd welcome him.
Turning away from her, he went into his closet and changed into a t-shirt and warm-up pants. Then, telling himself he was a complete idiot, he climbed into bed with her and pulled her small frame into his arms, settling her back snuggly against his front. He heard her sigh, felt her hand slide over his forearm, but she stayed asleep. Holding her this close, he'd been afraid that his response to her wouldn't let him sleep, but he found, with her sleep-warmed body pressed to his, sleep was quickly claiming him. He kissed the back of her head, tightened his hold, and allowed himself to relax.
The dream came on him much as it always did; only this time, Lainey was there right from the start. He knew he was dreaming but couldn't pull himself from it. He fought his bonds, trying desperately to get to her before that sickening branding iron marred her beautiful flesh. Her emerald eyes were filled with terror as she screamed and pleaded with him to help her, but every time he thought he'd broken through the chains, more would wrap around him. Abdul approached her with the branding iron; Mike struggled even more as the red-hot metal was applied to her flesh, her screams filling his ears. He'd never felt more helpless or useless. He couldn't get to her; he couldn't save her, and he knew she wouldn't be there if not for him.
Lainey woke when something tightened painfully around her ribs. She realized it was Mike's arm and that he was in the midst of another nightmare. Carefully turning in his arms so that she was facing him, she placed both her hands on his cheeks trying to pull him from the dream.
"Mike," she said, keeping her voice steady and calm, "listen to me. It's just a dream, you're all right. Mike. Wake up now." He was fighting, his neck stiff, head thrashing within her hold. Her heart was pounding. He was trained to sleep lightly; that she was having a hard time waking him spoke volumes as to the fierceness of the dream. Taking a deep breath, she leaned forward and pressed her lips to his, stroking her hand over his hair. "Commander. I need you. I'm so scared," she said, making her voice sound small and scared, "please, I need you. Help me, Mike, please."
Mike jolted and those pale blue eyes sprang open, sweeping her face and then crushing her to him, murmuring low in Italian to her. She held him close, stroking his hair and back, placing an occasional kiss to his temple.
"It's OK," she whispered, "it was just a dream, you're safe now."
He was trembling in her arms and it was breaking her heart. He was so strong, the one Riley and Colt and Coop and Whit looked to, their rock; and he was falling apart in her arms, piece by piece.
"Look at me, Commander," she said, pulling back to cup his face in her hands. "It was only a dream."
"I couldn't get to you," he said, shocking her.
"Your dream was about me?"
He nodded. "They had you and I couldn't get to you. I couldn't stop them from hurting you."
"Who?" she asked, "The ones who had you?"
"They brought you in to torture in front of me...nothing else they did to me could break me; so they came after you."
"It was only a dream," she assured him.
He pul
led away from her, getting to his feet and scrubbing his hand over his face. She didn't like the look on his face. It was like she could see the walls slamming down between them.
"Mike," she began, getting up to go to him.
"No," he said, stepping back from her, "I have to -"
"Don't do this," she said, seeing him withdrawing.
"I'll get Whit to stay with you overnight."
"I don't want Whit staying with me. I don't want Colt, or Coop or Riley staying with me."
He shook his head. "It doesn't matter what you want; doesn't matter what I want. I can't keep you safe if I'm..."
"I can help you. You don't have to live through the nightmares. Let me..."
"I can't. I'm sorry."
Lainey stood frozen as he went downstairs. She heard him on the phone. A few minutes later, she heard the elevator buzz. She heard voices below, then she heard the elevator buzz yet again. When footsteps sounded on the steps, footsteps that she knew were not Mike's, she began trembling. When the door opened and Riley stepped inside, she lost it. He came to her and wrapped his arms around her, letting her cry.
"I don't understand," she whispered.
Riley guided her to sit on the edge of the bed beside him, keeping his arm around her shoulders. Lainey rested her head against him, taking deep breaths to calm her sobs.
"His mother and Gia told me yesterday what he was like when he came home after leaving the Navy. Gia said he was like a ghost...I remember how you were...yourself, but not yourself."
He nodded. "It was worse for Mike...a lot worse. He's strong, but..."
"Everyone has their limits."
"Yeah," he said.
"We had a good night last night. He cooked for me and we laughed and we talked....and then he had the nightmare."
"He's afraid to be happy," Riley said, his voice soft.
"Why?" she asked, "He's...he's such a good man. He gives to everyone. He sacrificed himself so you could live and Melissa would have a body to bury. He took a bullet to the gut for Sarah. God only knows what else he's done for others."
"A lot," Riley replied.
"Tell me about when you rescued him."
She felt him stiffen. "No, Tink, you don't need that in your head."
"Please. I need to understand him."
He took a deep breath. "You haven't slept with him?"
"As in had sex?" she asked and he nodded. "No."
"Have you seen him without a shirt?"
"No."
He stood and began pacing, rubbing the back of his neck. She could see the cloud of memory settling over him, could see the tension work into his muscles.
"I was weak from being shot earlier. Zig had been our medic after Colt left. The others knew the basics of what to do and patched me up, but we had to hurry to keep track of Mike. A few friendlies told us they'd taken him to the next town over and had him in an abandoned store. Once we got into town, we didn't have to ask...people were chanting "Death to the Infidel" and cheering every time something was done to him. I was scared we were too late. We wanted to mow the whole crowd down, but didn't want to take the risk that they would kill him once the fight started. As much as it killed us, we waited until it got dark and then snuck in. Didn't take long to mow through them after that. He'd been beaten so badly, he wasn't even recognizable. There wasn't an inch of him that wasn't bloody. They'd stripped him and chained him and when we busted in, they were...," his voice broke then.
Lainey felt tears streaming down her face again. Her poor Commander! She reached for Riley's hand, squeezing it for comfort and support. He took several deep breaths, the look on his face absolutely heartbreaking.
He cleared his throat. "The only way I knew he was still alive was that they were trying to cut his eye out and he was pulling away as hard as he could. At the same time, one had a knife to his," he cleared his throat again, "they'd cut him around his...God! I...I can't even say it."
"They tried to castrate him?" she whispered, horrified.
A tear rolled down Riley's cheek.
"Yeah. They'd...cut him but not THE cut yet. He wasn't even making a sound. He'd shut himself off from it. I was afraid his mind was gone at that point.
There were four of us left: me, Coop, Whit and Max, who you haven't met. We killed two-dozen in less than five minutes. Coop was hit in the shoulder but that was it. We got Mike, wrapped him in a filthy blanket and Whit and Max took turns carrying him to the edge of town where a chopper came for us. I had his head and shoulders in my lap. Before he completely blacked out, he asked me not to tell his family. He didn't want them notified unless he died. Which, he did. Once in the chopper. Once in the OR. They kept him in a medically induced coma for two weeks. We joke and say he was too damn stubborn to die, but the truth was, with all that was done to him, it's a miracle he's still alive. His arms had been pulled from their sockets. His ribs were all busted. Whit and Max had carried him across their shoulders through the back alleys of that town to make it to the extraction zone; that had to hurt worse than when they'd actually broken them. His knees were busted. Right ankle was crushed. They'd whipped his back to the point that it looked like raw meat. They branded him with a branding iron in several places and carved Arabic writing into his stomach and groin. They broke all his fingers; ripped his fingernails out. Knocked teeth out. He went through a lot of surgeries. To fix his knees, his ankle, skin grafts. He pushed through all of it with his usual determination and stoicism. I wanted to call his parents but he didn't want me to, so he went through the bulk of it on his own, with us all checking in on him when we could."
"Why does he do that?"
Riley shook his head. "After the thing with Nick and Carolina and the blow-up he had with his dad about joining the Navy, he just shut them out."
"Did he love Carolina?" she asked, almost afraid of the answer.
"No. They didn't date long enough for that."
"But she was the last person he slept with."
"Yeah, but that was mainly coincidental...once we got on track with the SEALs, we didn't have time for relationships, and he never cut loose the way the rest of us did."
"So, he hasn't been carrying a torch for Carolina?"
Riley chuckled. "No."
She scrubbed her hands over her face.
"What do I do now? The way he made it sound, he's going to stay away from me and put everyone else in charge of watching me."
"I'll talk to him, but it may be best to just give him some space."
She shook her head. "That doesn't feel right. I think everyone has left him on his own for too long."
"That may be true, but trust me, if Mike doesn't want to do something, there is nothing anyone can say or do to make him."
"Oh, really? But then, he hasn't come across me before, now has he?"
Riley chuckled but shook his head.
"Just be careful, Tink...I know you're tough, but...Mike's been through a lot and he'll circle the wagons and lock himself behind a wall of ice to protect himself, and not realize that he's hurting you in the process."
"Oh, he knew what he did tonight was hurting me, make no mistake about that. I'll cut him some slack to a point. And then we're going to have a serious Come to Jesus talk if he doesn't get his butt in gear."
Riley pulled his little cousin into his arms and kissed her forehead.
"I love you, Tink. Just give him a little bit of time, he isn't used to dealing with someone like you and he isn't used to the feelings he has for you."
"Love you, too, Rile. Thanks for telling me all of this."
"Get a warm bath or something. Relax. I gotta check in with everyone," he said, leaving her in the room alone.
With him gone, Lainey sank back down on the bed and picked up Mike's pillow, hugging it to her. He was killing her, pulling away like this, especially after how good everything was last night...but she was determined to make him see that what he was doing was a mistake. One way or another, she wasn't going to let him suffer alone any more
.
Mike had to put some distance between them. He had to be able to get away from those big emerald eyes so he could think. As soon as Riley got there, he left, heading to the Orion offices. His conscience smacked him the entire drive there, however. He was running. He knew he was running. Hated himself for doing it; but he'd been terrified that he would hurt her when the dream was on him.
Pulling into the parking garage at the office building, he slammed his hand on the steering wheel. What was he doing? Was he really going to let the nightmare pull him away from her? Lainey was the only woman he wanted. It was because he felt so strongly for her that she was being pulled into the dream, and he had to admit, he couldn't handle it. If that were to have really happened; if she had been in his life and they'd somehow gotten her and brought her in to torture in front of him, that would have broken him. It's what terrified him about this whole situation with Conroy; that he would somehow fail and Conroy would hurt her.
He now understood Colt even more than he had that night the call came in about Sarah. Colt had been terrified. Mike was terrified now. He'd never felt fear like this; not even when he'd been captured. Lainey was...everything. From the time she was seventeen, her face had haunted his thoughts. Her face had carried him through the torture before he'd really even known her. Now, that he did? He was running from her.
He looked up at his reflection in the rearview mirror, staring himself in the eyes, taking a good, hard look at himself. What the hell was he doing? Abdul had robbed him of enough in his life; was he really going to let him take Lainey from him, too? Cursing himself, he put the truck in reverse to head back. He may still need to take a step back from her, but running wasn't the answer.
When he got to the loft, he found Lainey sitting on the sofa, laptop open. Riley and Colt were at the desk. All eyes went to him as he stepped out of the elevator. He met Lainey's gaze briefly, then shifted his gaze over to the guys, then back to Lainey.
"Can I see you upstairs?" he asked her quietly, hands shoved in his pockets.
She silently closed her laptop and got up, walking ahead of him to the stairs, meeting Riley's gaze briefly as she passed him. When they stepped into the bedroom, he shut the door, studied her a moment, then stepped to her, wrapping his arms around her.
