by Gale Borger
Bean held his breath. He saw the girl's weight shift. Her heels rose as she leaned on her toes. Oh no, she's bending over!
He pressed himself against the wall, trying to make himself smaller and squeezed his eyes shut. He cracked open one eye and saw a hand slowly reach for a shoe. Bean held his breath.
Just then the doorknob rattled again. Bean heard Spaz squeak. "Abby."
The hand by the shoes stopped. It rose slowly out of sight. Abby Whatever stood and faced Spaz. He breathed a sigh of relief. He scooted closer to the girls. Abby bent to pick up a shoe. She nearly hit Bean in the nose. He backed away just in time.
Spaz looked around the room. "I was just looking for you, Abby." The door closed and Spaz slid the bolt home. She walked across the room and closed the closet door. Bean could see the girls in the mirror on the door. He hoped they couldn't see him.
"What is it, Kelli? Why did you lock the door? Are you okay?"
"I'm good, Abby, but I need your help, and you can't tell anyone."
"Wh-what is it? I can keep a secret."
Bean blew a dust ball away from his nose. Oh no, Spaz is going to spill the beans. He smiled at his own joke. Hah! Spill the Beans.
"Swear on it."
"What?"
"Swear you won't tell anyone."
Abby looked around. "Sure, Kelli, I swear."
Spaz sighed and patted the girl's hand. She looked around the room. She wondered where Bean hid. She bit her lip and tried to think. "It's uh, my boy. I mean it's my friend. No. It's m-y-y-uh, brother. Yeah my brother. No, my sister. He, uh, she flew in from New Jersey. I mean Nebraska."
"So what is it, Kelli? Your brother or your sister from New Jersey or Nebraska?"
Spaz giggled and then cleared her throat. "My sister is from Nebraska. My brother is from New Jersey. My sister flew in at the last minute, and I told her to come here. She didn't bring any clothes and she's tall like you. I wanted to sneak her into the party. She's tall like you. I wanted to ask you if she could borrow something to wear."
"Sure, Kelli, but are you sure you want her at the party? You know those old geezers. Why not dress her up like the wait staff? That way the men will leave her alone, and you can visit at night."
"Great idea but where do we get clothes?"
Abby winked. "Leave it to me. Just let me borrow those shoes."
Spaz snapped up the sandals. She pressed them in Abby's hand and got her out the door.
Spaz sighed. She wandered across the room. She whispered loudly. "Bean." She moved a pile of clothes. She looked behind the chair. No Bean. She walked to the closet. She put her hand on the knob. "Psst. Bean!" She dropped the blouse she was carrying and bent to pick it up. She looked in the mirror and saw Bean smiling under the bed.
Abbey knocked twice and opened the bedroom door. "Hey, Kelli, I just wanted to know…are you okay?"
Spaz slammed the closet door open. She stood stiffly in the opening. She tried not to look like a freak with a friend hiding under the bed. She failed most miserably. Abby raised a brow.
"Kelli? What are you not telling me?"
"Me? Ah, uh, why do you ask?"
Abby stood. She walked over to Spaz and looked down. Spaz bit her lip. "What?"
"Spill it, ho bag."
Spaz grabbed her by the blouse. "You swear on your life you will never tell a soul?"
"I already told you I–"
Under the bed, Bean sucked in a breath. Abby froze. "Kelli, did you hear that?"
"Uh, hear what?"
"That noise!" She jumped to her feet. Bean scooted back. His toe caught the bed skirt and Abby screeched. "Under the bed! Something is under the bed."
She turned to the door and Spaz grabbed her. "Wait, Abby. It's only Bean."
The other girl struggled. Spaz swung her around and threw Abby across the bed. Abby sat wide-eyed and scared. "What bean? Lima beans? Green beans? Mexican jumping beans for God's sake? Geez, Kelli, something moved under there."
"Yeah, I know. It's my stupid friend, Bean." Spaz picked up the bed skirt. She bent down. Abby did as well.
Bean twiddled his fingers at them, a cheesy smile on his face. "Hey, Spaz."
"Bean, you butt head, come out from under there."
Bean slid out. He looked at Abby, who still cowered in a corner. "Uh, hi, Abby. I'm Bean."
"Is Bean your real name?"
Bean turned pink. "Uh, They call me Bean 'cuz–"
Spaz broke in. "Because he was such a bean brain, he and another stupid friend of his were drunk and sitting in a tree. Bean looked down at a skylight in a roof and said, 'Duh, I wonder if someone could break into a house by breaking through the skylight.' Then his friend, Mr. Stupid, said to this dumbass, 'Duh, why don't you find out?' and pushed dumbass here out of the tree. Bean fell onto the roof. The skylight broke, and Bean got arrested for breaking and entering and burglary. He got probation." Spaz smiled. "The judge considered anyone stupid enough to fall out of a tree too stupid to survive in jail."
Bean punched her arm. "That's not true!"
Spaz shoved him aside. "It's true, I swear."
Abby crossed her arms. She raised a brow. "Well, if my boyfriend got drunk and fell through a skylight–"
Spaz and Bean spoke at the same time.
"He ain't my boyfriend, are you nuts?"
"No way, she's not my girlfriend, are you nuts?"
Abby smiled. "You guys are pretty loud. I think maybe too loud."
Spaz opened her mouth and Abby held up her hand. "Don't worry, I won't tell anyone he's here."
Bean started to correct her and Spaz threw an arm around his shoulders. She stood on his toe. Bean swallowed whatever he was going to say. He gritted his teeth and grabbed Spaz by the waist. Spaz smiled at Abby. "That's right. Old Beanie is my uh, b-boy f-f-friend. I just didn't want anyone to know."
"I think he's adorable." Abby grabbed them both in a hug. Spaz nearly jumped out of her skin. Bean patted her back and she calmed. Abby jumped back. So did Bean and Spaz.
"Good. Then it's settled. Let me borrow your shoes and I'll take care of the rest."
Bean and Spaz could only nod. Abby unlocked the door and danced into the hall. "Don't worry about a thing. I'll be back in a jiff."
The door slammed and Bean looked at Spaz. "What's a jiff?"
Spaz laughed. "Other than peanut butter, I don't know, but I think she means not too long. Come on, sit in this chair. Let me see if I can perform magic."
Bean eyed the hairbrush in her hand. "Spaz? Should I be scared?"
Spaz grinned. She patted the chair. "You bet your butt you should be scared." She pulled out her make-up box. Bean almost cried.
Chapter 5
Shroom pace back and forth. "I got a bad feeling about this, Pone."
Pone looked up from his computer screen. "What? What do you think is going to happen?"
Shroom rubbed his forehead. "Can you say jail, revoke my probation, get caught by those goons again? Get beat up by the cops? I can't believe we are going back."
Pone pounded on the keyboard. "Cash said Silvia Hunnicut, Val's mom, is flying home early. That means those party girls will be at the house when she gets there. All hell is going to break loose. Do you want Spaz to get hurt? We've got to get her out of there. The cops won't do anything without a warrant, and the judge hasn't signed one yet."
"What about Bean? Shouldn't we wait for him?"
"Bean might still be there for all we know. Cash is invited to some dinner party there and promises to look for him."
"And we just sit here on our sorry butts?"
Pone looked up and smiled. "No way. You're going to love this."
Shroom scowled. "Aw geez, that means I am going to hate it, right?"
Pone laughed. "Probably. But you hate everything, so I'm not too worried."
"You're quickly being added to my hate list, yo." He sighed. "Okay, let me have it."
"Waiters."
"Waiters?"
"Yeah, waiters. We dres
s like waiters and go back–"
"Go back, are you effing kidding me? We were almost toast the last time. Don't you remember?"
Pone logged off. "Because you had to wiggle your hips at the swimming pool when you were supposed to be trimming hedges, moron."
Shroom sniffed and lifted his chin. "I was overcome."
"And we were almost overcome by jail, because of you."
Shroom grinned. "So you'd better leave me here, mi amigo."
Pone stood and grabbed his sweatshirt. "No way, pal. I've got a better idea. Come on."
Shroom looked at the floor. "Like I said. I've got a bad feeling about this."
Chapter 6
"Hi, Mom, how was your flight?"
Silvia Hunnicut stumbled. Val grabbed her mother's arm. She picked up the carry-on and stood. Sylvia shook off Val's hand. "Let go of me! I can do this." She grabbed the small bag out of Val's hands. She brushed her skirt and patted her hair. She stepped forward and wobbled on her low heels. She glared at Val. "I need a drink. And don't call me 'Mom' young lady."
"Yes, Silvia. Why don't we just go home? You can get a drink there."
Silvia Hunnicut did not like to be told what to do. She stopped in the middle of the crowded airport. She faced her daughter. The crowd parted and people bumped into each other. Silvia Hunnicut didn't care. The crowd was supposed to part for her. "Valerie Hunnicut, if I say we stop now, we stop now!"
"But Chad is waiting in the no parking zone."
"Chad Fitzsimmons? Oh, Valerie, you can do better than Chad Fitzsimmons!"
"His dad is a famous plastic surgeon and his mother is a lawyer. Chad is going to Princeton this fall."
"His grandfather was a farmer."
Val sighed. Her mother had had more to drink than she'drealized. "His grandfather owned like, half of Montana, Mother! Your grandmother was a butcher's daughter. You married money, Chad's family worked for it."
Silvia's hand struck lightning fast. Val's head snapped as Silvia's palm made contact with her daughter's face. She gritted her teeth and evil poured off her in waves. "Don't you talk to me about money, Valerie Michelle! Chad Fitzsimmons is not worthy to wipe your shoes."
"His father was sure good enough to do your face lift last year."
Her mother looked like she was going to turn purple. She struggled to remain calm. She brushed her skirt again She shouldered her way past Val, patting her hair.
Val listened to the click of her mother's heels on the tile. She put a hand to her hot face and sighed. "Some things never change." Val shouldered her purse and trailed after her mother.
Silvia slipped through the sliding doors of the airport. She left Val to pick up her luggage. A valet helped Val pile the cases onto a cart. He wheeled the cart to Cash's car. Val tipped the valet. She and Cash loaded case after case into his father's car. Her mother sat in front. She never offered to help, but sat there unscrewing a bottle of airplane booze.
Cash closed the trunk and looked at Val. He gently touched her cheek. "I see Sylvia still has good aim."
A tear slid down her face. "It doesn't matter what I do or how good my grades are, she still hates me." She looked away. "She still drinks."
"She hates herself Val. She owns the problem. The booze owns her. Look at your future. College starts in two months. You'll be gone."
She smiled a small smile. "When did you get so smart?"
"I learned it at The Olive Branch in group. I never knew I needed counseling. It took going to jail to kick start me into tomorrow. This is the new me."
Val laid a hand on his face. "I like the new you. Come on. Let's get the Wicked Witch of the West back to her castle."
They climbed in the car and headed for the Hunnicut estate.
They pulled into the drive and met with total chaos. Trucks loaded with food, tents, and tables blocked the way to the front door. Men in colored sweaters and white shoes strolled across the lawn. Cash drove onto the lawn. He pulled around the mess and stopped at the front door just as it opened. Several members of the household staff gathered. The car doors opened, and the trunk emptied. Cash and Val hauled Silvia from the seat. She threw their hands off and smoothed her skirt. She patted her hair and slowly wobbled her way to the front door.
"Sorry Val, but she is one cold woman."
Val gently touched her cheek. "One mean woman too."
Cash put an arm around her. "Two months, Val. Then you'll be rid of her."
Val leaned her head on Cash's shoulder. "Mmm hmm, for a while at least."
They headed for the house. "Cash, do you think she came home early just to cause trouble?"
Cash messed up her hair. "Doesn't she always?"
They stepped through the front door. A tall, blonde maid stood holding a tray. Val took a cold glass. "Thank you." She looked up and stopped. "You must be new. Hi. I'm Val and this is Chad. Thank you for bringing these for us."
She looked at the tall maid. The maid nodded and turned to leave. Val touched her shoulder. "Wait a second." The maid froze. Val moved around front. "You're very pretty. Your eyes are lovely. What's your name?"
Chad looked up. His mouth hung open. The maid smiled at Val. "Bu-Beth, Miss Hunnicut, Beth Ann Scott."
The maid shuffled away. Val watched her go. "Funny, she reminds me of someone." She turned to Cash. He tried to keep a straight face.
He knew the maid was Bean as soon as he'd smiled. "Yeah, she looks like someone I know. Maybe she's his sister."
Val stared after Bean. "Hmm."
Chapter 7
"Lay off me, Pone. I ain't doin' this. No way, not no–"
"How. Yeah. I know, Shroom. You're going to look great. You have to know a few things before we can blend in. Now one more time. Plated food."
Shroom crossed his arms and scowled.
Pone zipped his black dress pants. "Shroom, do you want to help, or are you going to pout like a girl?"
Silence.
"Those are our friends, Shroom. We don't even know what happed to Bean. Are you in or out?"
Shroom spun and paced the room. He stopped in front of the mirror. He looked at his slicked back hair, his white shirt, black jacket, slacks, and shoes. "I look like some sorta wetback penguin. No one is gonna believe I'm for real."
"Shroom, people believe what they think they see. They don't look at the servants. But we can't stand out. Here. Put these in."
Pone held out his hand.
"You are kidding me, dawg."
Pone looked him dead in the eye. "Put them in, Dawg. Your eyes stand out. These contacts will make you look like everyone else."
Shroom opened the package. He popped the dark brown contacts in his eyes. He looked in the mirror and smiled. "Look at that. Now I will blend in. Like one of those lizards that change color so he blends in with a tree or leaf." He scratched his head. "What are they called? Kamilee…come-a-long? No, that ain't it."
"Chameleon."
"What?"
"Ka-mee-lee-on. Chameleon. The lizard that changes to the color of whatever he's sitting on. Very cool, now what side do you serve from if you have food in a bowl?"
Shroom stood straight. "The left."
"Why?"
"Cuz most people are right handed and they reach with their right hand to scoop out whatever crap they're being served."
"Yup. Which side if the food is already on a plate?"
"The right, because rich morons eat with their right hand."
Pone oiled his very short hair and turned to pick up his small duffel. "And when you take away the dishes?"
"When Uncle Jimmy gets drunk and falls into the potato salad."
Pone rolled his eyes.
Shroom picked up his duffel. They both left the room and slid out the back door. "Pick up food from the right. Fill the glasses from the right. The water glass is bigger than the wine glass. It may have a stem. Watch the other servers. Napkin in the lap. Remove the plate and the fork each course. Do not speak to a guest. Do not help a guest. Do not correct a gue
st. If I don't know an answer, pretend I don't speak-a-da-English, nod, and find you."
Pone dug keys out of his pocket and unlocked Cash's truck. They threw the duffels in the back seat and climbed in. Pone slapped Shroom on the back. "Great. You know, you could do this for a living."
Shroom laughed. "No way, man. Rich people suck."
Pone laughed. "Yeah, they do. Let's go."
They drove to the Hunnicut mansion. Pone stopped at the gate, but they let him pass without stopping him. He drove around the side and parked next to the tent rental truck. There they waited. Soon another car drove up and a guy in all black got out. They followed him to a side door and into the servant's area. They waited quietly behind the other guy. Another guy in black leaned into the room and said, "Two for indoor cocktails."
Two silent workers stepped forward and followed the person in charge.
They waited some more. Twice Shroom poked Pone and wanted to say something. Pone stepped on his toes and shook his head. Shroom fumed and stayed silent.
"One for housekeeping." Shroom stepped forward and a small Hispanic woman pushed past him. Pone had him by the jacket. He whispered "Women only."
Shroom scowled. "That's discrimination."
"Shush."
"Hey, you two." The big guy flicked a thumb behind him. "Now."
Shroom looked behind him. Pone yanked on his sleeve. He dragged Shroom behind him. They followed the big man in black down a hall into a room buzzing with sound and people.
"Hey you two, over here."
Pone and Shroom looked up as a silver tray, a white towel, and a wrapped bottle was placed into each of their hands.
"Follow them."
Shroom looked around and Pone tapped him on the shoulder.
The man in black stopped. "Hey, boy, doesn't your friend speak English? I said I didn't want any beaners who don't know the language." He slapped his forehead. "Why can't those idiots get anything right?"
Pone choked on his bitter reply. The man turned to go and Shroom spoke. "Yo."
